Good morning ladies and gentlemen. As I wake up, our contestants lay down for the night. But the games are hardly over, and with a chronic lack of shit happening, I move on.
Well, what a way to start the day! Quibbles it seems has decided to stop pussy-footing around and using that explosive ISIS gave him straight up dive-bombed a large group of tributes. The 343rd Airgroup was caught totally by surprise, being entirely destroyed by a pony who may or may not have stolen one of their airplanes to dive-bomb; he not being a pegasi at all. Likewise Varionus, Andrew WK, Klairre, and Taylor Swift got swept up in the assault and have fallen to high-explosives from above.
Probably witnessing this event, Malinda May attempts to escape the arena but dies in the process. Harambe takes the opportunity and seizes the chaos attacking Broby. But Broby is smarter than your average five-year old and not only escaped, but did not fall in the guerilla pit.
Alas, in the background Weapon XI's pre-simulation simulation wasn't 100% perfect, and he failed to account for the wild-card named Kanye West. Weapon XI is brought down with a hatchet by the rapper.
As other tributes suddenly feel inspired to start murdering each other, TubberwareBowl sits back with Snoop Dog and smokes a joint while watching some nature documentaries. Boy gotta chill somewhere and somehow dawg.
The glorious dead.