The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Nobody on the whole street moved a single muscle. Wide-eyed, Vinnie looked at each of the four, one after another. They hadn't actually frozen, but they might as well have. Despite the threats and boasts thrown back and forth, and the various expressions between smirking and disdainful, nobody seemed willing to make a move. The standoffish seconds sludged by, slower than molasses out of a jar, but the angrier of the two women eventually spoke up. ”...What's the matter? Those look like close-range, power type Stands. Aren't you going to get a little closer? Surely you're not afraid of my little teapot?” From inside the spout of that oddly-shaped spirit, a tongue slid out and blew a raspberry at its user's opponents. Vinnie blinked in confusion. Stands? he wondered.
He was not afforded much time to ruminate. Across from the women, the man in sunglasses reached into his pocket. Vinnie half-expected to pull out a gun, but instead he produced a ball peen hammer. When he held it up, the ghostly gladiator plucked it out of his fingers and held it at chest-level before proceeding to tilt his head over it. From the round holes in its extravagant metal helmet came a cloud that resembled someone's breath on a frosty morning, which covered the little hammer in a swath of mist. Before Vinnie's onlooking eyes, the hammer visibly morphed, becoming longer and larger until it looked just like a medieval warhammer he might see at a renaissance fair. By the time the gladiator handed the warhammer back to its summoner, he was already walking forward. ”Guess I might as well, miss Melody. If you could have attacked me all this time, I'm sure you would have. If I'm right, though, you Solution Sisters are master assassins, not direct fighters. Since you haven't turned tail and bounced off back into your base, I bet you've got some trick up your figurative sleeves. Eh, Dwayne?”
On cue, the other man walked forward behind him, his hands in his pockets. A more nervous energy radiated from him, making it seem like he wanted to run at his enemies rather than walk slowly. Nevertheless, the freakish butcher followed behind him, floating forward and dragging its knees noisily on the ground. Adjusting his glasses, he replied, ”Don't get cocky, Wyatt. We're going to school these bimbos so bad they have to run crying back to their little hideout, but the big cheese will be disappointed if we got roughed up.” Now the two pairs stood only thirty feet apart. This entire scene took place only about the same distance from Vinnie's hiding spot. He saw Dwayne's eyes narrow. ”Enough standing around—it's battle time! I think I'll make the first move. Sky-!”
Moving suddenly, the pigtailed woman robbed him of the chance. ”Not this time. Heads up!” She seized her champagne glass and hurled it straight at the man Vinnie now knew to be Wyatt, distracting Dwayne as well. In response, his gladiator lashed out with the warhammer to destroy it, but the cup impossibly altered its trajectory in midair. It flew straight for Wyatt's face, its rims glinting like a curved knifeblade. At the last possible second, the sunglasses-wearing man reached up and grabbed it, halting it just an inch away from his skin. ”That the best you got, Harmony?”
The grin on Harmony's face looked positively venomous. ”Laugh while you still can, dickhead. How do you feel?”
In fact, Wyatt was swaying slightly. His spirit faded away as he gazed at the glass with an oddly serene expression. From his hiding spot, Vinnie could see a golden fluid inexplicably filling up the cup. He also saw silent fury engulf Dwayne's features, and only a split second later he was charging forward with his spirit flying ahead. ”Enough cheap tricks! Time to learn that victory goes to the strongest! It's humiliation time!” Lynyrd Skynyrd's razor fingers extended toward Harmony, who'd swapped her sadistically gleeful sneer for a face of sudden panic.
”You think I'm gonna let you-!” Melody's teapot smashed into the butcher's head, knocking it sideways. Dwayne's own head mimicked the motion, and his glasses nearly flew off to reveal eyes full of pain. ”Bully my little sister while she's working her magic? Bottoms Up, take it!” The stem of the nightmarish teapot split widened, showing itself to be a lamprey-like maw. Vinnie heard a sucking sound, and from Dwayne's skin all over his body a fine red mist flew out and into the teapot. Dwayne nearly toppled on the spot, just barely keeping his balance. ”Feeling woozy?” Melody taunted. ”That's a lot of blood I got. Now the only thing you're stronger than is a termite.” She sauntered over to him, her hands on her hips, delighting in his baleful expression. ”Time to say 'goodbye'...ugh!”
Crying out in alarm, Melody slumped down and fell into a sitting position. Behind her, the spirit called Lynyrd Skynyrd looked down at her quizzically. Around its fingers were strips of blue peelings. Dwayne chuckled darkly. ”I hate it when people get cocky...I'll deal with you in a minute.” He turned around just in time to see Harmony barreling toward him with fists raised. She threw a series of wild slugs at him, but the arms of his Stand materialized around him to fend off each one. ”What! Did you! Do!”
In response, Dwayne threw his hand out, grabbing onto Harmony's face and pushing her away. Surprised, she stumbled backward, barely keeping her feet. ”Simple,” her attacker told her, his words slightly muddled due to the loss of blood. ”I skinned her of her sense of balance. She's really disoriented. Man, casting a spell on Wyatt makes me mad. What am I gonna do with you...?” An idea dawned on him. ”Oh, oh! Those are good. Skynyrd, skin her bowel control away.”
Harmony's eyes widened. ”You wouldn't...!”
Lynyrd Skynyrd lunged forward and swiped at her with its arm. Its razorlike fingers passed straight through her head without harming her, though when they exited, they carried a peeling with them. Instantly Harmony shrieked, her face flushed with rage and shame. A foul smell wafted on the breeze, and Vinnie blanched. Had that really just happened? Streaming tears and curses, the woman bolted back toward the building from which she came and disappeared inside.
Another chuckle came from Dwayne as he turned back to Melody, who appeared very dazed. ”There's nothing quite like taking something beautiful and vain, and ruining it. I thought of something for you, too. Skynyrd, it's go time!” Obligingly, the Stand swiped at the sitting woman, removing a long yellow peeling from her. Instantly she began to change. Her corset bulged before popping, and out spilled a fat gut that grew larger by the second. It surged over her hips, turning into massive love handles and a doughy paunch that hung down over the front of her pants. Roll after roll piled up on her sides. Meanwhile, her legs grew thicker and thicker until the cloth of her pants began to pull apart. Her rear grew exponentially, and her already impressive bust doubled in size. Extra chins formed beneath her first, and while her face grew round her arms turned sausage-like. In a span of seconds, she'd gone from slender to massively obese—over 400 pounds. Vinnie looked in fear and disgust at the man who'd caused this, who now laughed madly. ”Ahahahaa...the perfect beauty turned perfect whale!” Melody, meanwhile, seemed to be in shock.
Wiping away a tear, he turned to look back at Wyatt, who'd nearly drained the glass of champagne. ”Looks like he's still under. Should have gotten rid of your sister when I had the chance.” He strolled back to his companion. ”Hey! If you can hear me, I'm gonna break that glass.”
Surprise came over him when Wyatt, who he did not expect to be able to answer, said, ”Intense...”
Vinnie didn't understand. Had he misheard? Maybe Wyatt, who definitely seemed to be in some sort of trance, was merely describing the drink. However, Dwayne had frozen as well. After a few seconds, he held up his hand, and Vinnie was shocked to see that his flesh appeared to be bubbling. Dwayne cried it in pain as steam rose from his pores. In seconds the steam turned to jets of red flame, and from the screaming man's eyes, mouth and ears a brilliant, harsh light shone. Then, to Vinnie's horror, he exploded in a ball of fire. In one extravagant flash the man was gone. And all the time, Wyatt looked on with a smile on his face.
Seeing that, Vinnie decided definitely that he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't understand anything about what was happening other than that he was afraid—deathly afraid. Turning tail, he began to run, only to smack right into an invisible wall. The impact sent him backward, and he fell against a garbage can, knocking it over. When he turned around, he found Wyatt looking right at him. Fear rendered Vinnie totally frozen until Wyatt moved his hand to take another drink.
In that moment Vinnie's adrenaline kicked in. Without a second thought he ran, rounding the corner and sprinting into the open door of a closed drycleaner's. This route meant getting closer to Wyatt, but he did it anyway, and was relieved to discover he could get inside with no issue. However, his hope died when he smacked into the invisible barrier yet again only a handful of feet inside the building. Terrified out of his wits, he turned around just in time to hear the man say, ”Floral..”
A tingling sensation ran all over Vinnie's body. The skin on his arms began to itch, and in blind panic he tore open his sleeve. His veins had transformed partially into vines, becoming thick and green. He watched as a flowerbud sprouted from the vein and felt it sucking the vitality from his body. More flowers were appearing—on his limbs, on his body, on his face. Even his vision was turning green, and he sputtered, strangled. Through clouded eyes he watched Wyatt approach the building, only to pause suddenly. Behind the door a being had manifested, one even scarier than he. A conflicted expression came over him; the cup compelled him to go forward, but this new presence compelled him to go back. After a very long, very painful second, Wyatt stepped forward, and the wheezing Back Door Man screamed.
…
When Vinnie woke up, he found no trace of plant matter on him, or of the spirit glass that brought on this awfulness. He was sprawled over a defunct washing machine, and Wyatt was on the ground in front of the building, unconscious. Blearily he beheld the Back Door Man, and as his vision cleared he watched it bow to him before vanishing. “Ohhhhh....” Vinnie moaned, closing his eyes as if to shut out the images. “What the hell...what the hell...”
He was not afforded much time to ruminate. Across from the women, the man in sunglasses reached into his pocket. Vinnie half-expected to pull out a gun, but instead he produced a ball peen hammer. When he held it up, the ghostly gladiator plucked it out of his fingers and held it at chest-level before proceeding to tilt his head over it. From the round holes in its extravagant metal helmet came a cloud that resembled someone's breath on a frosty morning, which covered the little hammer in a swath of mist. Before Vinnie's onlooking eyes, the hammer visibly morphed, becoming longer and larger until it looked just like a medieval warhammer he might see at a renaissance fair. By the time the gladiator handed the warhammer back to its summoner, he was already walking forward. ”Guess I might as well, miss Melody. If you could have attacked me all this time, I'm sure you would have. If I'm right, though, you Solution Sisters are master assassins, not direct fighters. Since you haven't turned tail and bounced off back into your base, I bet you've got some trick up your figurative sleeves. Eh, Dwayne?”
On cue, the other man walked forward behind him, his hands in his pockets. A more nervous energy radiated from him, making it seem like he wanted to run at his enemies rather than walk slowly. Nevertheless, the freakish butcher followed behind him, floating forward and dragging its knees noisily on the ground. Adjusting his glasses, he replied, ”Don't get cocky, Wyatt. We're going to school these bimbos so bad they have to run crying back to their little hideout, but the big cheese will be disappointed if we got roughed up.” Now the two pairs stood only thirty feet apart. This entire scene took place only about the same distance from Vinnie's hiding spot. He saw Dwayne's eyes narrow. ”Enough standing around—it's battle time! I think I'll make the first move. Sky-!”
Moving suddenly, the pigtailed woman robbed him of the chance. ”Not this time. Heads up!” She seized her champagne glass and hurled it straight at the man Vinnie now knew to be Wyatt, distracting Dwayne as well. In response, his gladiator lashed out with the warhammer to destroy it, but the cup impossibly altered its trajectory in midair. It flew straight for Wyatt's face, its rims glinting like a curved knifeblade. At the last possible second, the sunglasses-wearing man reached up and grabbed it, halting it just an inch away from his skin. ”That the best you got, Harmony?”
The grin on Harmony's face looked positively venomous. ”Laugh while you still can, dickhead. How do you feel?”
In fact, Wyatt was swaying slightly. His spirit faded away as he gazed at the glass with an oddly serene expression. From his hiding spot, Vinnie could see a golden fluid inexplicably filling up the cup. He also saw silent fury engulf Dwayne's features, and only a split second later he was charging forward with his spirit flying ahead. ”Enough cheap tricks! Time to learn that victory goes to the strongest! It's humiliation time!” Lynyrd Skynyrd's razor fingers extended toward Harmony, who'd swapped her sadistically gleeful sneer for a face of sudden panic.
”You think I'm gonna let you-!” Melody's teapot smashed into the butcher's head, knocking it sideways. Dwayne's own head mimicked the motion, and his glasses nearly flew off to reveal eyes full of pain. ”Bully my little sister while she's working her magic? Bottoms Up, take it!” The stem of the nightmarish teapot split widened, showing itself to be a lamprey-like maw. Vinnie heard a sucking sound, and from Dwayne's skin all over his body a fine red mist flew out and into the teapot. Dwayne nearly toppled on the spot, just barely keeping his balance. ”Feeling woozy?” Melody taunted. ”That's a lot of blood I got. Now the only thing you're stronger than is a termite.” She sauntered over to him, her hands on her hips, delighting in his baleful expression. ”Time to say 'goodbye'...ugh!”
Crying out in alarm, Melody slumped down and fell into a sitting position. Behind her, the spirit called Lynyrd Skynyrd looked down at her quizzically. Around its fingers were strips of blue peelings. Dwayne chuckled darkly. ”I hate it when people get cocky...I'll deal with you in a minute.” He turned around just in time to see Harmony barreling toward him with fists raised. She threw a series of wild slugs at him, but the arms of his Stand materialized around him to fend off each one. ”What! Did you! Do!”
In response, Dwayne threw his hand out, grabbing onto Harmony's face and pushing her away. Surprised, she stumbled backward, barely keeping her feet. ”Simple,” her attacker told her, his words slightly muddled due to the loss of blood. ”I skinned her of her sense of balance. She's really disoriented. Man, casting a spell on Wyatt makes me mad. What am I gonna do with you...?” An idea dawned on him. ”Oh, oh! Those are good. Skynyrd, skin her bowel control away.”
Harmony's eyes widened. ”You wouldn't...!”
Lynyrd Skynyrd lunged forward and swiped at her with its arm. Its razorlike fingers passed straight through her head without harming her, though when they exited, they carried a peeling with them. Instantly Harmony shrieked, her face flushed with rage and shame. A foul smell wafted on the breeze, and Vinnie blanched. Had that really just happened? Streaming tears and curses, the woman bolted back toward the building from which she came and disappeared inside.
Another chuckle came from Dwayne as he turned back to Melody, who appeared very dazed. ”There's nothing quite like taking something beautiful and vain, and ruining it. I thought of something for you, too. Skynyrd, it's go time!” Obligingly, the Stand swiped at the sitting woman, removing a long yellow peeling from her. Instantly she began to change. Her corset bulged before popping, and out spilled a fat gut that grew larger by the second. It surged over her hips, turning into massive love handles and a doughy paunch that hung down over the front of her pants. Roll after roll piled up on her sides. Meanwhile, her legs grew thicker and thicker until the cloth of her pants began to pull apart. Her rear grew exponentially, and her already impressive bust doubled in size. Extra chins formed beneath her first, and while her face grew round her arms turned sausage-like. In a span of seconds, she'd gone from slender to massively obese—over 400 pounds. Vinnie looked in fear and disgust at the man who'd caused this, who now laughed madly. ”Ahahahaa...the perfect beauty turned perfect whale!” Melody, meanwhile, seemed to be in shock.
Wiping away a tear, he turned to look back at Wyatt, who'd nearly drained the glass of champagne. ”Looks like he's still under. Should have gotten rid of your sister when I had the chance.” He strolled back to his companion. ”Hey! If you can hear me, I'm gonna break that glass.”
Surprise came over him when Wyatt, who he did not expect to be able to answer, said, ”Intense...”
Vinnie didn't understand. Had he misheard? Maybe Wyatt, who definitely seemed to be in some sort of trance, was merely describing the drink. However, Dwayne had frozen as well. After a few seconds, he held up his hand, and Vinnie was shocked to see that his flesh appeared to be bubbling. Dwayne cried it in pain as steam rose from his pores. In seconds the steam turned to jets of red flame, and from the screaming man's eyes, mouth and ears a brilliant, harsh light shone. Then, to Vinnie's horror, he exploded in a ball of fire. In one extravagant flash the man was gone. And all the time, Wyatt looked on with a smile on his face.
Seeing that, Vinnie decided definitely that he couldn't take it anymore. He didn't understand anything about what was happening other than that he was afraid—deathly afraid. Turning tail, he began to run, only to smack right into an invisible wall. The impact sent him backward, and he fell against a garbage can, knocking it over. When he turned around, he found Wyatt looking right at him. Fear rendered Vinnie totally frozen until Wyatt moved his hand to take another drink.
In that moment Vinnie's adrenaline kicked in. Without a second thought he ran, rounding the corner and sprinting into the open door of a closed drycleaner's. This route meant getting closer to Wyatt, but he did it anyway, and was relieved to discover he could get inside with no issue. However, his hope died when he smacked into the invisible barrier yet again only a handful of feet inside the building. Terrified out of his wits, he turned around just in time to hear the man say, ”Floral..”
A tingling sensation ran all over Vinnie's body. The skin on his arms began to itch, and in blind panic he tore open his sleeve. His veins had transformed partially into vines, becoming thick and green. He watched as a flowerbud sprouted from the vein and felt it sucking the vitality from his body. More flowers were appearing—on his limbs, on his body, on his face. Even his vision was turning green, and he sputtered, strangled. Through clouded eyes he watched Wyatt approach the building, only to pause suddenly. Behind the door a being had manifested, one even scarier than he. A conflicted expression came over him; the cup compelled him to go forward, but this new presence compelled him to go back. After a very long, very painful second, Wyatt stepped forward, and the wheezing Back Door Man screamed.
…
When Vinnie woke up, he found no trace of plant matter on him, or of the spirit glass that brought on this awfulness. He was sprawled over a defunct washing machine, and Wyatt was on the ground in front of the building, unconscious. Blearily he beheld the Back Door Man, and as his vision cleared he watched it bow to him before vanishing. “Ohhhhh....” Vinnie moaned, closing his eyes as if to shut out the images. “What the hell...what the hell...”
