Not granted because the genie is afraid it'll be like RIGHTXD or Tubgirl.

Speaking of, I wish for a Tubgirl.

granyed

Granted. The grannies cause a heart attack.

I wish for a flaming pineapple dipped in soldier oil to be delivered in an ironborn crate.

not granted.

but you are allowed to sit at the right hand side of my feasts when I overthrow spam.

Granted. I eat all your food.

I wish for dominion of this realm.

granted, but the people don't believe that you're really in control. They think you are just a figurehead puppet for the Illuminati and are planning to overthrow you should you deny it ('cuz that obviously means you're guilty)

Have Fun Trying To Outrun The Mobs

I wish I could teleport wherever I want, whenever I want to.

(Heh, I normally don't do this kind of thing, spam that is, but we had similar games running on my forums, so eh.)

Granted, but you very quickly get overstimulated by countless experiences in such a short period of time, and now no matter where you go or how many times you change your location, you're always bored and dissatisfied, since you can no longer find new experiences. Skipping the travelling process from one place to another also causes you to miss out on a lot of good opportunities for your life.

I wish... I could stop having issues with technology.

Granted. It explodes in your face and lands you in a mental hospital where the only tech you need is an IV bag.

I wish for hair on this mech.

Granted. But the hair is covered in lice that can never be washed.

I wish for a slave

Granted. The slave's name is Spartacus.

I wish for an uncrushable wish.

Granted, but you lose your wishing privileges.

I wish for a giant wooden horse

Granted, it's stuffed with Greek assassins.

I wish for an immortal soul.

granted, your soul shall live forever, past the deaths of all those you love, past the end of the world, past even the end of 'time'. your lone soul will remain in the vast, empty void of what once was the universe until you can no longer acknowledge your own existence and thus forget yourself.

I wish for Trump and/or Hillary to finally announce that they were just running as a joke and some way better candidate will announce their campaign last minute and get elected.

Granted. His name is Mitt Romney, he picks Palin as his VP, dies in a freak accident, and Palin becomes president.

I wish to retrieve brain cells lost over the course of seeing dumb as fuck things over my lifetime.

Granted, but now there's is an increase in dumb shit so it cancels out.

I wish for my 72 virgins

Granted. You are now a 72-year-old virgin. Get thee to a nunnery.

I wish for Cheese, for everyone!

granted, overnight the entire population of the world transforms into cheese.

I wish for a meteorite to land on the next president before they can be sworn into office, and for the other candidate to die of a heart attack the day before.

Granted, now this will apply to every president, so now we won't have any more leaders and the country devolves into anarchy.

I wish for a clever line to put in my sig.

Granted, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig 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already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one, but before you can put it in your sig you see another player who already is using it, so you come up with another one...

This continues until you die from brain-use-overload from coming up with clever lines nonstop

I wish for an Ironic twist at the end of every RP I play in from now on

Granted. The ironic twist is now that every roleplay you are ever involved in decide the roleplay is stale and suddenly all roleplay stops.

I wish to undo my last wish.