Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by KoL
Raw
Avatar of KoL

KoL Knight of Lorelei

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

*Whistles nonchalantly wondering when Juno will get some love.*
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Savo
Raw
GM
Avatar of Savo

Savo Time to go to Hell

Member Seen 2 days ago

@Sho Minazuki I'm in the process of reviewing yours.

@KoL
History seems a little bit... out of the blue. As much as RWBY shows, Ozpin has accepted people into Beacon even if they haven't finished combat school at a place like Signal or if they have never attended combat school at all. But in this defense, both who were accepted were shown to be capable fighters in their own right. The test seems iffy, given the fact that she skips straight to Beacon without any prior experience other than the aptitude test.

If I did say the test was ok, why did they get back to her so late. Since they basically let her attend right off the bat, I'm assuming they not only did the test late or took who knows how many years to get back to them. If it was that important to conduct a test to see who would be a hunter, why didn't they begin testing em at a young age or if that isn't the case why did they test em at a late age? If any of these what ifs are true, how the heck did she even make a weapon?

Sorry for being so nitpicky on the backstory, it just leaves a lot of whys.

Anyways, semblance is a bit overbearing (50 meters isn't that short) and I'm pretty sure the instant teleportation can be used in the air as long as there is a bird or something in the air (I'm pretty sure that counts as solid xP). Also, instantaneous... I'm going to say nerf something here as the only thing I can see as a weakness is her getting tired, but I don't think I have a tangible amount for this part... maybe a few feet instead and make it a blink-like ability? Idk.

So rework those and you should be fine.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by KoL
Raw
Avatar of KoL

KoL Knight of Lorelei

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Sho Minazuki I'm in the process of reviewing yours.

@KoL
History seems a little bit... out of the blue. As much as RWBY shows, Ozpin has accepted people into Beacon even if they haven't finished combat school at a place like Signal or if they have never attended combat school at all. But in this defense, both who were accepted were shown to be capable fighters in their own right. The test seems iffy, given the fact that she skips straight to Beacon without any prior experience other than the aptitude test.

If I did say the test was ok, why did they get back to her so late. Since they basically let her attend right off the bat, I'm assuming they not only did the test late or took who knows how many years to get back to them. If it was that important to conduct a test to see who would be a hunter, why didn't they begin testing em at a young age or if that isn't the case why did they test em at a late age? If any of these what ifs are true, how the heck did she even make a weapon?

Sorry for being so nitpicky on the backstory, it just leaves a lot of whys.

Anyways, semblance is a bit overbearing (50 meters isn't that short) and I'm pretty sure the instant teleportation can be used in the air as long as there is a bird or something in the air (I'm pretty sure that counts as solid xP). Also, instantaneous... I'm going to say nerf something here as the only thing I can see as a weakness is her getting tired, but I don't think I have a tangible amount for this part... maybe a few feet instead and make it a blink-like ability? Idk.

So rework those and you should be fine.


I can rework her background, though it shall take sometime to do so given my IRL schedule, her semblance on the other hand is considerably less OP than you are imagining. I can decrease the range of it somewhat, but on a general PoV it's really just as effective as say, Ruby's speed.

Depending on how things go I may as well do a whole other character from ground Zero, so let us see.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by PatrickDrummer
Raw
Avatar of PatrickDrummer

PatrickDrummer The Legend

Member Seen 6 mos ago

@Savo Yeah it's basically speed. So if you've seen any recent X-Men movie you should know about the character Quick Silver, and there was a few scenes where he was moving so fast time appeared to be extremely slowed for him. When in actuality he was just moving really fast. This should help explain what I mean.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by TheWendil
Raw
Avatar of TheWendil

TheWendil The Wendil-Sama™ / ಠ_ಠ

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@KoL

Couldn't you just get rid of the aptitude test bit and say she applied to Beacon like every other student? Problem solved?
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Rex
Raw
Avatar of Rex

Rex

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Savo
here is my Character:



don't know if you saw mt CS
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Savo
Raw
GM
Avatar of Savo

Savo Time to go to Hell

Member Seen 2 days ago

@Rex

Yeah, I saw it. I'll get to it soon.

@KoL

So basically it's super speed, not teleportation? If you're using it as a base to compare, I don't think that's a good comparison. Regardless, maybe I am making it out to be pretty op, maybe it is actually op, but I would say at this state, it's pretty powerful since all you need is a flat surface or some water around and boom, set to go.

Plus you haven't exactly given me the tangible amount of times she can teleport. I might be acting like a bit of a hardass about this part, but I just want to make sure on certain aspects involving number of uses and time in a semblance.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Rex
Raw
Avatar of Rex

Rex

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

@Savo
ok, sorry about that
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Pyromaniacwolf
Raw
Avatar of Pyromaniacwolf

Pyromaniacwolf Edgy Character Maker

Banned Seen 4 yrs ago

So I'm gonna post my guy but looking over the other characters he seems a biiit too similar to Sho's character but I'm going to post him anyway.



Character Sheet



Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Scarifar
Raw
Avatar of Scarifar

Scarifar Presto~!

Member Seen 20 hrs ago

Hey @floodtalon, your cs doesn't have the appearance filled in.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Flood
Raw
Avatar of Flood

Flood Cyber-Phantasy Knight

Member Seen 3 yrs ago

Hey @floodtalon, your cs doesn't have the appearance filled in.


That's strange, it used to be filled in. I need to fix this.

Edit:Minor HTML error. All better now.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by CadenGallic
Raw
Avatar of CadenGallic

CadenGallic Pepsiman's apprentice, Pepsimaxman.

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Pyromaniacwolf
Literally read that as "Basil Pingas" at first.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Sho Minazuki
Raw
Avatar of Sho Minazuki

Sho Minazuki P5 Hero

Member Seen 1 hr ago

@Pyromaniacwolf That semblance looks like all kinds of ambiguous... I don't think it'll pass in it's current state personally.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Pyromaniacwolf
Raw
Avatar of Pyromaniacwolf

Pyromaniacwolf Edgy Character Maker

Banned Seen 4 yrs ago

@Pyromaniacwolf That semblance looks like all kinds of ambiguous... I don't think it'll pass in it's current state personally.


Would you mind telling me how it's ambiguous? Is it the fact its a random symptom of a disease? Or have I not made it clear enough what it exactly does? If it's the former I could just make it hurt people in the mist, hurting people with weak auras worse than people with strong auras.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Mixtape Ghost N
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Mixtape Ghost N

Mixtape Ghost N SOMETIMES EVЕN RICH NIGGAS GET LOST

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Pyromaniacwolf Yeeeeeeeah, that Semblance is really ill-defined for what could be a really powerful ability. You said it'll give them a disease but don't explain what it is exactly other than it's "random" (Which, in any RP, shouldn't be in the capabilities lol). The fact that it has no real weaknesses doesn't help either.

Also,

"After Basil's aura is depleted, he can not take many hits"


... Same goes for everyone. lol
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Pyromaniacwolf
Raw
Avatar of Pyromaniacwolf

Pyromaniacwolf Edgy Character Maker

Banned Seen 4 yrs ago

@Mr Allen J Yeah that seems like a fair point, it actually came up abit in my last RWBY rp but it closed before I could address it. Could I possibly kinda throw out "X happens to someone with a weak aura, X happens to someone with a strong one" or would it just be easier if the same thing happened to everyone? Also, the big weakness with the semblance is that it takes some time to become a real problem, it kinda emits from Basil and needs to slowly flow towards its target, and even then throwing up mid-battle isnt inevitable death, I suppose I didnt mention its speed in the post actually.... Buuut if youd rather me rework the semblance, I should be able to come up with something.

Also I was meant to be making out Basil isn't very strong but I guess i'll remove the obvious bit and leave it at "he isnt a very hard hitter"

Any other issues you need addressed?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Mixtape Ghost N
Raw
coGM
Avatar of Mixtape Ghost N

Mixtape Ghost N SOMETIMES EVЕN RICH NIGGAS GET LOST

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

@Pyromaniacwolf The other thing I'm wondering about is if his Semblance will even effect Grimm. lol

I doubt it, since they're supposed to magic or whatever if I recall correctly. It may make your character useless against the Grimm.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Pyromaniacwolf
Raw
Avatar of Pyromaniacwolf

Pyromaniacwolf Edgy Character Maker

Banned Seen 4 yrs ago

@Mr Allen J I did mention in his strengths it just slows them, sorry about how disorganized my CS is , I've had to take it from a way bigger ref sheet I used for Basil's original...creation. Not sure if how it affects Grimm makes and logical sense but I feel like its kind of thematic still. Once again, I'm kinda open to reworks on that front if you have any.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Lucius Cypher
Raw
Avatar of Lucius Cypher

Lucius Cypher Looking For Group

Member Seen 23 days ago

You could just turn it into a sort of "weakens and corrode" type of thing. Mix up poison and diseases. Highly effectively against the grimm since they're more or less "Flesh and Blood" and lack an aura, but those with an aura is more resistant to it thanks to it's protective effects. Functionally, it makes the grimm more sluggish, their attacks weaker, and their defenses lower.

One of his weaknesses could be the friendly-fire potential of his disease cloud since, while most hunters are resistant against it, they could still be affected if caught in the range. An additional weakness could be that it's pretty much useless against machines, since if you're still working off the disease angle, you can't really give robots a flesh-eating sickness.

I'm guessing the general theme of his semblance is "Plague".
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Pyromaniacwolf
Raw
Avatar of Pyromaniacwolf

Pyromaniacwolf Edgy Character Maker

Banned Seen 4 yrs ago

@Lucius Cypher yeah that would...actually be pretty good , not sure if that would make everyone hate Basil for making the battle about 10 times more difficult for both sides to navigate but oh well.

↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet