Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@redbaron1234Yes. They're zombies. Typical, mainstream, run-of-the-mill zombies.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ShaggyDoo0
Raw
Avatar of ShaggyDoo0

ShaggyDoo0 Mystery Inc. C.E.O. / Investigator extraordinaire

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

This is something that I never thought that I would want to do, but here I am, entranced and already with a character idea. @Holy Soldier, how do you feel about arachnids?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@ShaggyDoo0Well...is he/she/it able to walk among the Humans undetected?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ShaggyDoo0
Raw
Avatar of ShaggyDoo0

ShaggyDoo0 Mystery Inc. C.E.O. / Investigator extraordinaire

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Holy Soldier Yes. Yes he can. And he isn't all that strong unless you count being venomous, ability to spin webs with his mouth, and control over spiders strong (like using pheromones and minor telepathy for communication). I was thinking direct decendant of Arachne or another being from myth that could give him those abilities innately.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Rynko
Raw

Rynko

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

I showed interested but unfortunately, I have to redact.

Thank you.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@RynkoEdit: Never mind. I know what you are talking about. That was pretty fast lol.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Rynko
Raw

Rynko

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

@RynkoEdit: Never mind. I know what you are talking about. That was pretty fast lol.


I'm so sorry!

I would like to but I'm in two others unless I can play a character's companion like an animal or animal hybrid that works as a tracker.

You have a great universe here.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@RynkoI'll let you know if we have a player who comes up with such an idea. I imagine maybe also a Witch or Wizard's familiar?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by redbaron1234
Raw

redbaron1234 Full of Pluck

Member Seen 1 mo ago

Okay, I got my CS Ready. I really couldn't think of a fourth power, but I think I am happy with the three I have. I'm not too familiar with the term "Face Claim", but I assume it simply means to declare you are using a particular celebrity for your character's picture. In this case, I am using Drew Powell.


Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@redbaron1234I am going to look at this more thoroughly at work. Yes, that's what Face Claim means. The fact that you said you couldn't think of a fourth power satisfies me because it lets me know that I've given players enough power slots. If other players find it difficult to come up with a fourth power, then I'll simply reduce it to 3 power slots.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

Name: Buck Baker
Nickname:
Age: Physical age unknown, but appears to be no older than 30. Has been ‘awake’ for ten years though.
Race: Frankenstein
Height: 5'11"
Weight: Large
Hair Color: Brown
Eye Color:

Description:
Buck has the sort of body that comes from a lifetime of manual labor. While nowhere near a 'sculpted' physique, it is quite clear that he has a good amount of muscle on him. He tends to overdress, wearing heavier (and more concealing) clothing than the weather calls for, though doesn't show any signs of overheating.
Under all his clothing is a body covered in methodical scars. Most prominent is the characteristic Y-shaped scar on his chest from an autopsy. Other marks of notice are large puncture marks near major blood vessels consistent those used to drain bodies of blood and refill them with embalming fluids, and a series of long scars on the back of his head and down his spine that are largely covered by his hair.

Visual:
Image Source

Personality:
Buck is a gregarious fellow. He is quick to smile and laugh. He has no problems in calling others ‘friend’ much sooner than the other person would call him one. He’s even known to apologize to someone before knocking them out. It’s not unusual for him to invite other members of the Syndicate out for a drink or two, and often volunteers for dangerous tasks because he can take the punishment.
This gentleness should not be confused for weakness. Many a person has been caught off guard by how quickly he can turn against someone. He eagerly throws himself into a fight, striking hard and fast. While he would deny it if asked, a small smile betrays how much he enjoys fighting.

Background:
Officially Buck was rescued from an organ harvesting operation run by a rogue surgeon, Dr. Amy Treadaway, in a last minute SWAT raid; kidnapped as one of the many homeless in the city that could disappear without a trace. In reality, he was already dead when the police raided the compound. He woke up in the morgue drawer, body to be examined as evidence in the criminal proceedings to follow.
This was unusual, of course, since several people had handled him, and attested to him being dead. MRI scans had noted that several of his organs were missing and x-rays had found strange writing on several of his bones, the most prominent being on his skull. Between his awakening and the unusual details in Treadaway’s notes, the Syndicate quickly moved to bury his case with help from their operatives in the BPD. While Treadaway is still at large, she’s not been seen in some time.
Because he could not remember much about his previous life, Buck was forced to forge a new identity for himself. Given that the Syndicate already knew of him, working with them seemed like the best option. With their help, he's been able to develop a life for himself as one of their agents. Considering what little he remembered of his previous life involved living on the streets for ‘a long time’, he is quite content to be part of the Syndicate and has worked with them for the last 5 years.


Weapon(s):
Buck carries a .357 Magnum revolver. While it holds few bullets and reloads slowly, each shot packs a punch. Additionally the fact that a revolver can fire a wide variety of loads is a major factor in his choice, given what the Syndicate occasionally has to deal with.

Skills:
- Firearms: Buck is not the best shot, nor the quickest to the draw. However he can more than hold his own in a firefight.
- Brawling: Buck tends to rely on his size and endurance in a fight. His fighting style has been described as a mixture of kickboxing, wrestling, and plain old street-fighting
- Larceny: Whenever forcing his way in is undesirable, Buck knows several techniques to get past locked doors, crack open safes, and generally get into places others don’t want him to.
- Investigation: Between long sleepless nights, trying to catch up on the modern world, and simply needing to learn things for his work with the Syndicate, Buck’s become proficient in doing the legwork required to discover relevant information about a subject

Power(s):
Hard to Kill: Buck does not bleed, nor need to breathe. Poisons do not affect him unless they physically corrode flesh like an acid. His sense of pain is very much dulled as well, to the point that the easiest way to take him out of a fight is to mechanically disable his body (Handcuff him to a radiator, break his legs so they can't support his weight, even a taser would work so long as the juice flows). That's not to say that he can't die, it's just that nobody's found a way to put him down for good. He has a few theories as to what could kill him, such as massive brain damage or being dissolved in acid, but he's not jumping at the opportunity to test them out.

Regeneration: Any tissue damage heals remarkably quickly, taking hours to close most cuts and regenerating lost organs over the course of a week. This leaves him craving raw meat. Simply knitting flesh back together, say from a deep cut, requires about one serving of meat (I.e. a hamburger patty or chicken breast). Replacing lost flesh requires him to eat about 1.5 times the weight of the flesh he is regrowing. Missing limbs are an issue, as they need to be sewn back on before they can start to heal, and can take up to a month before they are fully functional again.

Indefatigable: Buck can go days without rest, and never tires from exertion. However this power is the main reason he eats. Similar to his flesh regeneration, he needs to eat flesh to take advantage of this ability. While he prefers to take this in the form of sushi and steak tartare, the only requirement is that it comes from a living creature (No vat grown steaks here). In general, he can go about two days straight if he’s not doing anything physically strenuous without eating before he starts to feel tired, though he does like to keep to a semi-normal eating and sleeping schedule. If his hunger is not satiated in time, he goes into a deep sleep that requires someone to spoonfeed him to revive him. The longest time he’s ever been like this was three days, when it first happened to him. He describes the experience as one of the worst of his life, as he could feel himself slipping away while locked in his body, a multitude of whispering voices calling to him.



I marked everything in red that needs more information or will not work with what you have set up.

1. Race. Currently, you are trying to blend 3 different races into one character. I cannot allow that so you need to narrow your idea down to one race.

2. Background. Your whole concept/idea will rely heavily on this section. Right now you just say that your character "woke up." Unless you are trying to keep the origin story a secret from other players, the one person you need to tell the origin story to is me, the GM.

If you are creating a Frankenstein, then you need to understand that they are not zombies and thus do not rely on living sustenance or any sustenance at all to function. They are reliant on a reanimator because the reanimator is the one who resurrected him or her and gave the Frankenstein a power source to run on (the electricity used to resurrect them for example). Like the bolts in the Frankenstein's neck but the reaninator is the one who keeps the creature running. Another reference, Gungrave was another example of a Frankenstein. The purpose of the experiment for Frankensteins is to reanimate the person with all cognitive functions in tact. You can make the experiment go however pseudoscience you want, but there will be a scientist.

If you are making a ghoul, then the ghoul runs solely on magic (necromancer/vampire). The ghoul has a master, and therefore, if you go that route, then your character will have a master. Yes, ghouls function no different than a normal human. Some however are driven mad by their unlife.

Zombies are mindless walking corpses that feast on living matter. They spawn for some reason either willed by a necromancer, chemical accident, or some mutated disease strand. They are pretty much cannonfodder.

3. Powers. So therefore, the reason why I cannot allow those powers is because you wrote that you are trying to make a Frank. But those powers in red are either sole zombie or you put zombie elements in there when they weren't needed.

In conclusion, this CS relies on you narrowing down your concept.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@redbaron1234mentioning you because I am on a cell and can only do so much. My comments on your CS are above.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by BurningCold
Raw
Avatar of BurningCold

BurningCold Magical Bastard

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

So backstory is kind of bleh, really not my best, but I think it suffices.

Anything else that's wrong or whatever, feel free to tear me apart (gently please) so I can fix it.


Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Taytay
Raw
Avatar of Taytay

Taytay Sleepy

Member Seen 9 mos ago

Hey just wanted to leave my interest.
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by FallenTrinity
Raw
Avatar of FallenTrinity

FallenTrinity Prying Open My Third Eye

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

I'm still interested. Starting tomorrow ill work on my character :)
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago


"Mercy is a kindness that will not be shown to those that refute conformity."

Name:
Phineas Cage

Nickname:
N/A

Age:
N/A

Race:
Warlock (Human)

Height: 6’4’’
Weight: 168 lbs.
Hair Color: White
Eye Color: Grey

Description:
Hair white as snow, with skin a permanent grayish pallor, Phineas Cage could be easily mistaken for a Frankenstein, and that assumption is not far from the truth. Having used magics and potions to extend his life far beyond the natural span, his body, tall, thin, and toned, is in prime condition for a man centuries younger than him. With a face gaunt and chiseled, lips always halfway between a grim frown or smile, and eyes dark and focused, Phineas has maintained the look of grave determination that has haunted him since his youth.

Personality:
Loyalty to the Syndicate above all else. While the organization is something Phineas believes in, his reasons for such staunch dependability are far more rooted in pragmatism. P.R.I.E.S. is the best chance the city, and maybe even the world, has of protecting it from supernatural threats. As long as the Syndicate holds to its beliefs and upholds the cause it’s been fighting for for nearly one hundred years, Phineas will remain steadfast.

Always focused and calm under pressure, he is ideal for high risk excursions or procedures requiring a delicate hand, and in his specific profession, both are commonplace. Though not opposed to occasional association with his peers for pleasure rather than business, Phineas always carries with him a certain aura of aloofness, enjoying the time he spends alone, working meticulously to provide for the Syndicate and it’s people. Whenever Phineas isn’t brewing up a batch of potions or honing his combative skills, he can typically be found working on his magnum opus, an encyclopedia detailing and describing all things fantastical.

He has beautiful handwriting.


Background:
Born as William Asplin in England during its Victorian period, Phineas was tutored from a very early age in the arts of magic. His parents, both wealthy aristocrats capable of the same powers Phineas was, taught him well. As he grew in age and ability, he began to work with his parents to create the impossible; a spell or concoction that would grant them all eternal life. It was years later, long after both of his parents had passed, that Phineas finally found the key to extending his natural lifespan. The spell and potion required to achieve such a thing, Phineas will take that information with him to the grave… or eternity.

When, years later, the rumblings of a war began to brew in Europe, Phineas was the first person to board a ship setting sail to America, which eventually led him to the city of Baylor. Phineas Cage donned his current alias and the life of a recluse, the chaos caused by the city’s common criminals and supernatural horrors too much for him to tackle alone. So he remained alone, scarcely leaving the house save to retrieve the bare essentials, and tended to his crafts in secret.

Why did he don the alias Phineas Cage?

That all changed when word of P.R.I.E.S. reached Phineas’ ears though, and he was among the first to join as an official member. He always recognized the danger that the supernaturals posed, but now with the Syndicate’s backing he and his new associates could actually do something about it.


Weapons:
Wand- Polished blackwood, reinforced with multiple wards and runes of protection, Phineas’ wand is his staunchest ally against the supernatural threat. Inanely magical, the wand fires blasts of pure energy at its chosen adversaries, able to either disable or kill depending on how much energy is channeled into it. Additionally, he has spent years of his life perfecting a powerful transmutation spell allowing the wand to easily morph into and out of the form of a four foot long hand a half sword, the blade made of a magically induced silver-steel alloy.

(You said that this weapon was "innately" magical. What about this wand is magical? Is it wood from a sacred tree? If it was a plain stick he found on the ground and then imbued it with magical properties, then it's not innately magical.

Pistol- In the event that use of magic is unwise or impossible, a three shot pocket pistol loaded with silver rounds secured into the left sleeve of Phineas’ coat can typically get the job done.

Dagger- A light, silver edged dagger concealed within the interior of Phineas’ coat and marked with multiple runes meant to dispel supernatural powers acts as a last resort when all other options are exhausted. (How does the dagger dispel supernatural powers?)

Potions- A leather suitcase with a padded interior, contains individual molds shaped for vials to be stored in. It holds up to fifteen small vials.

Skills:
Sharpshooting- Phineas can fire a variety of handguns with deadly accuracy.

Dueling- Loathing the idea of being vulnerable in any manner, Phineas has trained himself in the art of swordfighting, particularly against opponents of the supernatural variety. He knows where to strike, step, and parry to end fights decisively and in his favor.

Arcane Crafting- Phineas can apply his magical knowledge to create a number of useful items of fantastic nature, including but not limited to runes, potions, and traps. He is a master of applying runes to the tonics and concoctions he creates to amplify their effectiveness by carving them into the vials. (You will have to be very specific here and list out the spells he knows, the types of potions he can make, etc. There has to be limit. He is free to learn more things as the RP progresses, you'll just have to keep this knowledge up-to-date)

Where is your fourth skills? It's 4 skills and 4 powers. If you couldn't think of anymore, then let me know because I will be taking a tally of how many people found it difficult to fill out 4 skills and 4 powers.

Powers:
Ward Master- He can cast defensive wards on himself, allies, and structures with varying effects to suit the Syndicate’s needs. Wards do not last forever, and depending on the strength and amount of energy placed into one, it may need to be replaced after a long or short while. (Again, you need to be specific here. What defensive wards are being cast, what do they specifically do, and how long does the effect last. Time cannot be measured in writing, so duration will have to be measured a different way. Usually by turns, also known as rounds.)

Chief Enchanter- Phineas can whisper the power of magic into any mundane weapon to boost its effectiveness against specific supernatural creatures. Unlike wards, enchantments do not typically go away naturally, though a dispel with strength equal to or greater than the power of the enchantment may lead to the need of a replacement. (Against what types of creatures specifically. There has to be a limit. What is "effectiveness"? Damage? Durability? You need to specify it.)

Shadow Summoner- Typically simple minded creatures acting as cannon fodder for Phineas, he can summon magically fueled creatures in various forms that last for around an hour or two if they aren’t dispatched first. However, given enough time and concentration Phineas could summon something able to do real damage.
(You need to fix the time in this power.)

Missing a fourth power. As I said before, just let me know if 4 is too much.


Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by GamerXZ
Raw
Avatar of GamerXZ

GamerXZ

Member Seen 21 days ago

This looks like it could be fun. Count me interested as well XD
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ShaggyDoo0
Raw
Avatar of ShaggyDoo0

ShaggyDoo0 Mystery Inc. C.E.O. / Investigator extraordinaire

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Holy Soldier working on my character, he is currently halfway done. I just need a backstory and to detail his skills and powers.
1x Like Like
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by LancerOfBlue
Raw
Avatar of LancerOfBlue

LancerOfBlue

Member Seen 8 yrs ago

@Holy Soldier
Interested as well and had a demon witch in the works but she just seemed too powerful, so I might either change a few things with her backstory or make a character that I had in mind before this one.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
Raw
OP
Avatar of Holy Soldier

Holy Soldier Divine Justice

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@LancerOfBlueNo hybrid races please.
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet