Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by XenoCyanide
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Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by redbaron1234
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redbaron1234 Full of Pluck

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@Holy Soldier
Here is my updated CS.

Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by redbaron1234
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redbaron1234 Full of Pluck

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If you guys want some inspiration, there is a show right now on Netflix called, "Penny Dreadful." It is similar to how this game will go. Similar, but not the same.


Penny Dreadful? Hee I have only watched the first few episodes but I am already hooked
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by XenoCyanide
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<Snipped quote by Holy Soldier>

Penny Dreadful? Hee I have only watched the first few episodes but I am already hooked


Not to spam, but I agree! The show is fantastic!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@redbaron1234@XenoCyanideI've cursed you all! I'll get to looking at your CS soon. I'm playing catch up now that I'm no longer out training.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@XenoCyanideSo, with your CS, I see your character is saying that he's a Warlock, but he's coming off very heavily to me as a Medium. You also are having him perform too many jobs. You're combining the Research aspect with Agent. He can't be a researcher and an agent because as a researcher, he is expected to do research and analyze the information and evidence that agents bring to him. He also can't be a gate opener because that would be a third job. So your character can't have three jobs.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@redbaron1234Be glad to know that you are the first person to be approved for this game lol.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by XenoCyanide
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@XenoCyanideSo, with your CS, I see your character is saying that he's a Warlock, but he's coming off very heavily to me as a Medium. You also are having him perform too many jobs. You're combining the Research aspect with Agent. He can't be a researcher and an agent because as a researcher, he is expected to do research and analyze the information and evidence that agents bring to him. He also can't be a gate opener because that would be a third job. So your character can't have three jobs.


I was combining the researcher and agent ideas only in the sense that he knows basic ideas of how an agent operates, but he is in the field as more of a support role than an actual agent. He wouldn't be kicking down doors or anything haha.

I'm not sure what you mean by a gate opener being a third job? It's a power he possesses, not a job he embodies for the syndicate. If its an issue l I can change it to something else, regardless :)
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@XenoCyanideYes, I want you to change it to something else because if we get a gate opener, you would be making that person invaluable.

You still haven't told me about your more Medium than Warlock situation.
Hidden 8 yrs ago 8 yrs ago Post by Taytay
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@Holy Soldier Here goes my edits.


Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by XenoCyanide
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@Holy Soldier

Will do. I'll adjust it in a bit. I'm not sure why you feel he is more of a medium. He doesn't commune with spirits or anything. What he uses is magic. Perhaps if you better explained why you think he's more of a medium we can come to an agreement?

Also, yes, you sucked me into Penny Dreadful. Great characters!
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@XenoCyanideMediums are also psychic characters. They don't just commune with spirits. Your character used a lot of levitation in his bio without levitation even being an ability. His particle manipulation abilities are similar to what psychics can do with telekinesis. Majority of the spells you gave him seemed more mutant than spells, which is why he comes off more as a Medium.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@Holy Soldier Here goes my edits.



Everything looks good except for one line I highlighted in red in your character's profile. You mention your character and his sire joining the CIA and never ever mention the CIA ever again. Maybe you should just not even mention them ever joining the CIA because you don't go further to explain if he quit and how he ended up living in Australia while still working in the CIA. It just doesn't make much sense.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by XenoCyanide
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@Holy Soldier

I see what you mean, tho it wasn't levitation he was employing but rather manipulating waves around an object to cause them to move, which in a sense could be a form of telekineses. I was attempting to spin a little science into his abilities, grounding it more in a real sense. I suppose a medium would work. I will update it shortly and change the Gating power into something a bit more subtle.

Other than those two things, everything else is in order?
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@XenoCyanideYes. Once you fix those two things then that should be all, but we'll see. Hopefully your edits won't delay the approval.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by XenoCyanide
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@Holy Soldier

Updated. Changed him to a medium and changed Gating to Mediumship to reflect said change.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by shagranoz
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shagranoz

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Going to post a sheet when I can.
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Holy Soldier
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@XenoCyanideApproved. I'll add your character to the list next time I'm around a computer.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by Taytay
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@Holy Soldier Okay so I got the hint lol, I took out the CIA and altered his story.


Hidden 8 yrs ago Post by ShaggyDoo0
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@Holy Soldier sorry i havent updated my char yet, i work retail and its hell right now.
Ill do my best to put one up when i get off work tonight after the graveyard shift
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