Melkor:
First off, I too think you're a bit too spartan in your writing.
Second, there is no real rule that decides when you have "too much" or "too little" detail, it's all down to your personal style. I've played with people who won't write any internal dialogue or thoughts at all, and people who've spent whole paragraphs writing about how they chew a piece of gum. The most important thing is to fit in. If everyone else in a game is doing something, you should too, otherwise your posts will seem out of place.
You shouldn't be worried though. You're a good writer and very clear with what you're doing.
Much respect to you for asking and listening to advise.