[OOC] Pariah Online: Prologue [ closed ] Page 17
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@gowi I finally finished up the errors. All it took was some pizza, motivation, and the enter button. I feel like I may have missed one of those though.ALEX /// VULCAN
“Do you really think you can stand against my blade? I crafted it myself you know.”O V E R V I E W
N A M EAlex Sharp
A V A T A RVulcan
A G E23
G E N D E RMale
V I S A G EHis visage in game changes little from his image in real life. The largest difference is that his brown hair in real life has become a deep black. Otherwise, as a result of his heavy physical regime in real life, he looks extraordinarily fit in game as well. He even has several scars running up and down his body from training that have also been made present in the game. There presence even in game is because he takes pride in the life he has lived up until this point.
However his hair color changing represents his independence and strong will as well as his self control and discipline. Due to the change in his hair, he decided to take on the color as his personal style. Black shirt, black pants, and a black coat are his trade mark. Thanks to his choice of color and profession choice, he has often heard himself being called the “Black Smith” as a nickname.
P E R S O N A L I T YHe is independent and strong willed, relying on himself and his own strength for just about everything. However, it is not because he is introverted by nature. Rather, he is more of an extrovert and simply prefers to conquer by his own hand.
His dedication to becoming the greatest weapon smith was so strong that it even landed him decided that Draethir was the faction that could best support him. He is known for being one of the many pragmatic artisans within Draethir that value achievement above all else.
B A C K G R O U N DWhen he was younger he played many games, but what he found most fascinating about the games was creating the strongest weapon to dominate. When he was mature enough his parents signed him up for martial arts and he became to busy to touch a game again. For years he trained in many styles ranging from western to eastern arts and even studied various martial weapon disciplines.
He finally found rest when he went to college to pursue a degree in World History. He still maintained his body everyday but he now had more time to relax since martial arts was no longer his focus. In order to use up his tremendous free time, he started getting back into gaming, reigniting the joy he once had. It didn't take him long to discover the realism that VRMMOs had to offer.
Eventually he came upon Pariah. With the versatility that it offered he decided to become a blacksmith. His independent nature and personal strength and knowledge in martial arts allowed him to take up the sword and acquire his own materials. Having no preconceptions about his own strength, he knows he must rely on others to help him to acquire the best materials to further his blacksmithing abilities. After finally completing college, he now has an enormous amount of time on his hands before he has to get a job. Using this new found freedom, he is going to become a blacksmith renowned throughout Pariah forevermore.A T T R I B U T E S
R O L EMixed Melee DPS/Tank
A F F I L A T I O NDraethir
P R O F E S S I O NWeapons Blacksmith
W E A P O N O F C H O I C EHe mainly uses katanas, but he also is skilled in using his body as a method of attack.
B E N C H M A R K SHardened in Flame – As a blacksmith, he has spent long hours residing next to the heat of a forge. The flames have hardened his skin allowing him to more easily endure the heat. He has an increased resistance to all fire attribute effects, including magical fire.
Enhanced Strength – Hours of physical labor in a forge have increased his strength, allowing him to use heavier hammers in smithing as well as increasing his general combat strength.
Riposte – Rather then blocking an attack full on, he has learned to adjust the flow of his opponents attack with his blade. After catching his opponent off his guard, he executes a swift counter attack in response.
Diminutive Presence – Fighting alone for any length of time is dangerous to any fighter. After spending an extensive amount of time fighting solo, he has developed a presence that seems to be ignored by many enemies. This decreases his chances of finding himself surrounded in a fight.
Flashing Arc – Drawing his blade in one clean and destructive motion, he is able to deal massive damage before his sword is even fully drawn and before the enemy even knows what hit him.Weapon Smithing – Be they swords, katanas, knifes, hammers, or axes, he can make it. As long as its useful in the maiming of others he can most definitely craft it
Magic Weapon Smith – Smithing ordinary metal has its limits. He has learned to go beyond simple weapon smithing and has begun to incorporate magic into his weapons. It is very difficult to do, requiring many had to acquire materials and a lot of time to prepare to make a successful magic weapon. Alternatively, he can temporarily enchant a normal blade to do elemental damage. However, the amount of magical energy it requires to perform puts him at a significant risk if the fight was to last even a few seconds longer.
Field Mending – Weapons get damaged over time naturally. Being a blacksmith, he knows a few tricks to fix up those poorly maintained weapons, even in the middle of nowhere. Got a crack in your blade? He's on it. The wrappings on your hilt falling off? He'll fix that. Got a broken wrist from your negligible ability with a blade? Sorry, but he cant fix that. He's a blacksmith not a doctor, go find one and learn how to use your sorry weapon while your at it.
Ore Knowledge – Being a warrior blacksmith has its limits. Having to buy the ores he uses to craft with, he has developed a discerning eye for them. Their strengths, weaknesses, and he is even able to distinguish what ores are in a weapon.
Katana Mastery – Skills with weapons are not hard to come by. If enough effort is put into a single weapon then mastery can surely be achieved. A katana has is peculiar as most think that it is the “strongest blade”. However, that is not the case. Where a katana does have impressive cutting strength, that is only when it is well forged and with quality materials. The blade itself, being an amalgam of varying strengths, finds itself breaking quite often. Sure, you can try to cut through that solid steal rebar, and it just might happen, but your blade will definitely not look the same afterward. Using the katana doesn’t require much skill on it's own, mastering the katana, on the other hand, requires the wielder to understand its innate properties and to work around it's weaknesses.Flashing Arc only works when he has his blade sheathed, so it can only work once per fight, unless he continuously resheathes his weapon during combat.
He has no range capabilities what so ever, if he is caught in a ranged battle against multiple opponents then he is surely done for.
Crowd Control is similarly a huge weakness of his.
He is also not specialized in one area other than blacksmithing weapons. In combat he could barely be called a tank and barely be called a DPS.
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R YHe has spent most of his time developing his sword skills, collecting materials, and smithing all manner of weapons. His name is not well known throughout the game, but the symbol he trademarks his weapons with is well known itself. A falcon adorns all of his crafts and bears the legacy of his greatest works. Feeling that he has achieved the limits of what he can do on his own, he has been searching for people to fight more difficult monsters with.
Here is all that I changed:Weapon Smithing – Be they swords, katanas, knifes, hammers, or axes, he can make it. As long as its useful in the maiming of others he can most definitely craft it
Magic Weapon Smith – Smithing ordinary metal has its limits. He has learned to go beyond simple weapon smithing and has begun to incorporate magic into his weapons. It is very difficult to do, requiring many had to acquire materials and a lot of time to prepare to make a successful magic weapon. Alternatively, he can temporarily enchant a normal blade to do elemental damage. However, the amount of magical energy it requires to perform puts him at a significant risk if the fight was to last even a few seconds longer.
Field Mending – Weapons get damaged over time naturally. Being a blacksmith, he knows a few tricks to fix up those poorly maintained weapons, even in the middle of nowhere. Got a crack in your blade? He's on it. The wrappings on your hilt falling off? He'll fix that. Got a broken wrist from your negligible ability with a blade? Sorry, but he cant fix that. He's a blacksmith not a doctor, go find one and learn how to use your sorry weapon while your at it.
Ore Knowledge – Being a warrior blacksmith has its limits. Having to buy the ores he uses to craft with, he has developed a discerning eye for them. Their strengths, weaknesses, and he is even able to distinguish what ores are in a weapon.
Katana Mastery – Skills with weapons are not hard to come by. If enough effort is put into a single weapon then mastery can surely be achieved. A katana has is peculiar as most think that it is the “strongest blade”. However, that is not the case. Where a katana does have impressive cutting strength, that is only when it is well forged and with quality materials. The blade itself, being an amalgam of varying strengths, finds itself breaking quite often. Sure, you can try to cut through that solid steal rebar, and it just might happen, but your blade will definitely not look the same afterward. Using the katana doesn’t require much skill on it's own, mastering the katana, on the other hand, requires the wielder to understand its innate properties and to work around it's weaknesses.
I even included a bit about the katana trope, to justify that its not over powered.
Accepted.
GM
@Thecrash20
“Sorry, I got places to go and people to see. Convince me otherwise.”
N A M E
A V A T A R
A G E
G E N D E R
V I S A G E
P E R S O N A L I T Y
B A C K G R O U N D
R O L E
A F F I L A T I O N
P R O F E S S I O N
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
B E N C H M A R K S
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
Outside of my example CS I didn’t really explain the title banner (Name /// Name) at all, so I understand the confusion. So I fixed that for you. Outside of that on the formatting side of things there are some tolerable typos but otherwise I can get on to reviewing parts that are more vital to the RP.
Visage: I’d recommend revising this entirely— there is no avatar creation here outside of what your psyche accounts for. For example, Hanako is near-sighted in real life but she sees without error in Pariah because the perception of herself connects to the inherent desire to not be bookish. This is what I explain as a sort of avatar system to relates to the person’s subconsciousness rather than them selecting a different skin tone for shiggles. Of course once in the game you can style-ize, dye, and shape your hair however you want as it has plenty of options through resident barbers.
Background: “Yo dawg, happy birthday; here’s a module that cost me a total sum of one thousand dollars or more.” – Jokes aside, understand that Pariah is more esoteric and a bit of high end new module for virtual reality that uses different technology than the standard in VR. Whilst yes, it is probably still attainable by the low income (such as Superboy’s character) bracket players should keep in mind that Pariah’s module is not cheap and not conventional.
Affiliation: Is it me or are we getting too many Draethir-oriented characters?
Benchmarks: Have a few issues.
On the physical end of things I cannot accept Perfect Parries because it can be utilized very unfairly against others given that you describe it that they won’t have the time to counter— it is very absolute and you are either going to have to revise it or just scrap it altogether.
On the mental side of things there’s two or so bits I have issue with. Firstmost I would say Deceitful Appearance isn’t a benchmark because it’s an inherent thing rather than something that was achieved through in-game study, training, or experience. He just happens to be shorter than normal? That’s not what I intended the benchmarks to be. Take a look at my CS for Hanako, BubbleGumKing’s for Marcelino, or even some working sheets such as the one from Superboy to see as a good measure of benchmarks. Make sure they are explained as if achieved.
For example:
The other issues I have are with Tracker’s Gut for similar reasons (there is no explanation to it), and possibly small nitpicks with Gray Man and Self Support.
Remember to consider benchmarks are traits that have occurred due to efforts in the simulation; sometimes due to effort, study, training, or habit. Hanako is more fluid with her dodging because of outmaneuvering of opponents, Marcelino is apt at casting spells in combat after experience ignoring distractions on the battlefield, etc.
History: Everybody is a selfish assassin, it seems. Your fraternity/faction/affiliation isn’t technically a guild and all “residents” are part of them from the onset, so keep that in mind. Second paragraph is pretty simple— sneaky cook sneaks, be wary of trusting. Tangible.
With all that in mind, it’s a good draft and I should’ve been more clear about things in the OOC rather than keeping them vague and hope blindly that people would follow in my stead. Fix what I suggested and we will continue, aight?
J A C K /// E N Y O
“Sorry, I got places to go and people to see. Convince me otherwise.”
O V E R V I E W
N A M E
Jack Liken
A V A T A R
Enyo Blackhat
A G E
20
G E N D E R
Male
V I S A G E
Unlike many others, Jack's only similar appearance is his shared actual height with the Avatar. He shaped his vision of the viking hero, Jarrok SwiftDagger. This man is from his favorite fiction Novel 'Where the blood sets'. In his mind, Jack recreated the Hero as being a lean shorter Man with long Blonde hair that covered his head and possibly even cover most of his face when wet. The Avatar holds many little scar painted across the face, none too visible unless another would be face to face with it. Due to the place where the original Character's origin lie, his average getup consists of a faded Black Long sleeve shirt, Thick Khaki colored trousers, Black boots, and a Brown fur Cloak. Other wonder if he ever feels hot in such thick clothing.
P E R S O N A L I T Y
In real life, Jack is a kind hearted man. Respectful, polite, and caring. He finds that it suits him most of the time and enjoyes him. His parents raised him to be as good as a man that he could, although sometimes he doesn't know how to say no. This occasionally makes him stressed and wishes he was different. He finds his wish granted only in the confines of Pariah.
In game as Enyo, Jack's personality changes a whole One eighty. As Enyo, Jack acts how he feels at all times giving him a mental release from the real world. While still keeping his pleasant attitude, especially for his cooking profession. When doing his odd jobs, he will act Rude, sarcastic, and deceitful as he pleases or as situation dictates. Yet he stays soft spoken and his face shows no negative emotions. Jack would even describe himself as a "bastard". Instead of deciding what would be the right or wrong thing to do, he decides risk and reward and or what bridges and how many to burn .
In game as Enyo, Jack's personality changes a whole One eighty. As Enyo, Jack acts how he feels at all times giving him a mental release from the real world. While still keeping his pleasant attitude, especially for his cooking profession. When doing his odd jobs, he will act Rude, sarcastic, and deceitful as he pleases or as situation dictates. Yet he stays soft spoken and his face shows no negative emotions. Jack would even describe himself as a "bastard". Instead of deciding what would be the right or wrong thing to do, he decides risk and reward and or what bridges and how many to burn .
B A C K G R O U N D
Raised from a poor family with good intentions, Jack is the golden child of his parents. First to graduate highschool and attend a college in his family, he has high expectations from all the know him. This causes stress to him and his kind personality doesn't help. While working at his part time fast food restaurant job, he began to fall in a state of depression and it was apparent to all. One day, a co0worker invited him to play a game he heard about, but never could afford. This game was Pariah. He instantly fell in love with the game, so much so his friend gave him the system as a birthday present.
When he isn't studying, working, or eating he plays. It is what gives what he needs to get on in life. It gives the mental release he needs in life, only occasionally losing some real sleep.
When he isn't studying, working, or eating he plays. It is what gives what he needs to get on in life. It gives the mental release he needs in life, only occasionally losing some real sleep.
A T T R I B U T E S
R O L E
DPS / Support
A F F I L A T I O N
Draethir
P R O F E S S I O N
Cook
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
Broadhead Dagger- This weapon is a very unique weapon made especially for Enyo. The blade's length is a little over a foot and half and half a foot wide, giving it a a odd shape of mini-Claymore. While making it slower than the average Dagger, it width gives it the shielding of a buckler. Giving this weapon superior defense from projectile weapons and better opportunities for a parry.
B E N C H M A R K S
Calculated Movements - Enyo moves sluggishly and sometimes with a bit of hesitation or at least it looks that way. It really is just him trained into making the most effective way to any activity and preserve his energy. During his daily life, it just makes him looks lazy. In combat, this is probably one of his most deadly Benchmarks as it synergises with every other. Almost every move is the most effective, with every strike meant to hit the target. This of course still makes him a 'slow' fighter due to a little hesitation with his decision making.
Dirty Fighting - Fighting to win. If a the target is open to a knee, a elbow, a eye gouge, or even a gonad kick Enyo takes the chance to weaken the enemy. While he does find it slightly embarrassing, in the heat of the moment he couldn't care less.
Evasive Combatant - Due to his slower moments from his Calculated Decision making, he has found it easier to duck, dodge, and weave out the way from his opponent until the time comes to strike. It occasionally causes problem with his cold precision making him trade punches then truly dodging it.
Perfect Parries - Each other of his combat Benchmark's create a synergy with this one. Using his Evasion to open up a attack, then using his calculated moves to initiate the attack whether that be with his blade or a throat check, and finally delivering a devastating counter attack. More often then not, Enyo scored at hit when his opponent made their move. It won't be fast as lightning, but the opponent won't have the time or be in a position to counter his Parry.
Taste Perception - Enyo has a taste for tasting. Usually just by knowing the taste of a certain herb or spice he can enhance his food to his liking. Giving a knack to create a tasty meal with almost any assortment of food. This also gives him the natural ability to taste poisons or rotten food.
Dirty Fighting - Fighting to win. If a the target is open to a knee, a elbow, a eye gouge, or even a gonad kick Enyo takes the chance to weaken the enemy. While he does find it slightly embarrassing, in the heat of the moment he couldn't care less.
Evasive Combatant - Due to his slower moments from his Calculated Decision making, he has found it easier to duck, dodge, and weave out the way from his opponent until the time comes to strike. It occasionally causes problem with his cold precision making him trade punches then truly dodging it.
Perfect Parries - Each other of his combat Benchmark's create a synergy with this one. Using his Evasion to open up a attack, then using his calculated moves to initiate the attack whether that be with his blade or a throat check, and finally delivering a devastating counter attack. More often then not, Enyo scored at hit when his opponent made their move. It won't be fast as lightning, but the opponent won't have the time or be in a position to counter his Parry.
Taste Perception - Enyo has a taste for tasting. Usually just by knowing the taste of a certain herb or spice he can enhance his food to his liking. Giving a knack to create a tasty meal with almost any assortment of food. This also gives him the natural ability to taste poisons or rotten food.
Deceitful Appearance - His slow movements and height of only 62 inches(157 centimeters) will usually make his opponents underestimate him at first. This would be a fatal mistake as this appearance is always used to his advantage. From the start of a fight or to just looking weak to lure his next victim close.
Gray man - Enyo tries his best to stay hidden in plain sight. Easily able to hide his location in a crowd or any large public space. Even in a heated argument or in a tussle, he keeps it as low-key as physically possible. Unless being relentlessly searched for, the only people who can recall him are the ones he lets.
Two Faced - A mix of his personality and ability to confuse anyone to his actual intentions. This gives him a reputation of being somewhat hard to work with when dealing with new clients for his odd jobs. He usually can deceive targets or others to keep him hidden away or for them to preform actions that are never in their favor. Enyo can be your best friend, but maybe it's just a cover. Keep your friends close and your Enemies closer.
Tracker's Gut - If given enough information, he can become quite a good tracker. Almost having a third sense or a gut feeling on who to ask or where to search. Often it leads him into his target, but can put him in a situation he wishes he had avoided all together.
Self Support(Perception) - In his time in Pariah, Enyo has dabbled a little into the magical arts. Mostly spells that are only to his benefit. The only one he has truly mastered is the ability to buff himself is perception. Hearing a seeing the little things others wouldn't notice.
Gray man - Enyo tries his best to stay hidden in plain sight. Easily able to hide his location in a crowd or any large public space. Even in a heated argument or in a tussle, he keeps it as low-key as physically possible. Unless being relentlessly searched for, the only people who can recall him are the ones he lets.
Two Faced - A mix of his personality and ability to confuse anyone to his actual intentions. This gives him a reputation of being somewhat hard to work with when dealing with new clients for his odd jobs. He usually can deceive targets or others to keep him hidden away or for them to preform actions that are never in their favor. Enyo can be your best friend, but maybe it's just a cover. Keep your friends close and your Enemies closer.
Tracker's Gut - If given enough information, he can become quite a good tracker. Almost having a third sense or a gut feeling on who to ask or where to search. Often it leads him into his target, but can put him in a situation he wishes he had avoided all together.
Self Support(Perception) - In his time in Pariah, Enyo has dabbled a little into the magical arts. Mostly spells that are only to his benefit. The only one he has truly mastered is the ability to buff himself is perception. Hearing a seeing the little things others wouldn't notice.
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
Enyo started off as a cook. He found it as a good release from the same shit different day lifestyle. Enyo eventually found a whole new experience when he joined as a cook for a mercenary guild. Seeing them fight inspired him to test the waters. He instantly fell in love with it.
Now Enyo has a bit renown for doing "odd jobs". Originally using his cook profession to make connections and offering his services. At this point there is no need, as his "clients" usually hold some power or fake nobility, recommending his service to others of the same power. Sometimes against one another. If someone needed some a individual found, assassination, espionage, or really any dirty work that would rather not be traced back to his clients, Enyo accomplished their goals. In his home town, he occasionally used for vigilanty justice, but is kept secret. Most just knowing him as a Great cook.
Now Enyo has a bit renown for doing "odd jobs". Originally using his cook profession to make connections and offering his services. At this point there is no need, as his "clients" usually hold some power or fake nobility, recommending his service to others of the same power. Sometimes against one another. If someone needed some a individual found, assassination, espionage, or really any dirty work that would rather not be traced back to his clients, Enyo accomplished their goals. In his home town, he occasionally used for vigilanty justice, but is kept secret. Most just knowing him as a Great cook.
Outside of my example CS I didn’t really explain the title banner (Name /// Name) at all, so I understand the confusion. So I fixed that for you. Outside of that on the formatting side of things there are some tolerable typos but otherwise I can get on to reviewing parts that are more vital to the RP.
Visage: I’d recommend revising this entirely— there is no avatar creation here outside of what your psyche accounts for. For example, Hanako is near-sighted in real life but she sees without error in Pariah because the perception of herself connects to the inherent desire to not be bookish. This is what I explain as a sort of avatar system to relates to the person’s subconsciousness rather than them selecting a different skin tone for shiggles. Of course once in the game you can style-ize, dye, and shape your hair however you want as it has plenty of options through resident barbers.
Background: “Yo dawg, happy birthday; here’s a module that cost me a total sum of one thousand dollars or more.” – Jokes aside, understand that Pariah is more esoteric and a bit of high end new module for virtual reality that uses different technology than the standard in VR. Whilst yes, it is probably still attainable by the low income (such as Superboy’s character) bracket players should keep in mind that Pariah’s module is not cheap and not conventional.
Affiliation: Is it me or are we getting too many Draethir-oriented characters?
Benchmarks: Have a few issues.
On the physical end of things I cannot accept Perfect Parries because it can be utilized very unfairly against others given that you describe it that they won’t have the time to counter— it is very absolute and you are either going to have to revise it or just scrap it altogether.
On the mental side of things there’s two or so bits I have issue with. Firstmost I would say Deceitful Appearance isn’t a benchmark because it’s an inherent thing rather than something that was achieved through in-game study, training, or experience. He just happens to be shorter than normal? That’s not what I intended the benchmarks to be. Take a look at my CS for Hanako, BubbleGumKing’s for Marcelino, or even some working sheets such as the one from Superboy to see as a good measure of benchmarks. Make sure they are explained as if achieved.
For example:
Decadent Dungeoneer – Dungeons are dangerous places in Pariah full of monsters, traps, and great treasures. After some time exploring and plundering these ruins and crypts Rael has found herself quite adept at pinpointing the best way to circumnavigate the dangers of their contents.
The other issues I have are with Tracker’s Gut for similar reasons (there is no explanation to it), and possibly small nitpicks with Gray Man and Self Support.
Remember to consider benchmarks are traits that have occurred due to efforts in the simulation; sometimes due to effort, study, training, or habit. Hanako is more fluid with her dodging because of outmaneuvering of opponents, Marcelino is apt at casting spells in combat after experience ignoring distractions on the battlefield, etc.
History: Everybody is a selfish assassin, it seems. Your fraternity/faction/affiliation isn’t technically a guild and all “residents” are part of them from the onset, so keep that in mind. Second paragraph is pretty simple— sneaky cook sneaks, be wary of trusting. Tangible.
With all that in mind, it’s a good draft and I should’ve been more clear about things in the OOC rather than keeping them vague and hope blindly that people would follow in my stead. Fix what I suggested and we will continue, aight?
TheMinorFall 1000, 993, 986, 979, 972, 965, 958.....
Member
Seen
6 yrs ago
Eric /// Steel Crow
“Message me if you need anything. I'll come if I can.”
O V E R V I E W
N A M E
Eric Steele
A V A T A R
Steel Crow
A G E
20
G E N D E R
Male
V I S A G E
Crow's image in game is vastly different from his appearance IRL. This is because he is a triple amputee, having only his right arm as a full limb. He lost entire left arm, his entire left leg, and his right leg at the knee in a tragic fire that claimed the lives of his parents. Forty percent of his remaining body is scarred. He spends most of his time in a power chair since his older siblings can't afford to get him fitted with prosthetics. In real life, he wears mostly simple, neutral colored tee shirts, black, tied-off sweats, and his favorite grey slouchy hat. His hair is dyed silver and his eyes are a lush green.
Inside Pariah, Crowe has all of his limbs and layered, black hair. His eyes change to an inviting, purple-ish color and he wears mostly light, yet sturdy armor with thick plates on his forearms and shins to use as on-the-fly guards. He can be seen carrying large, heavy, two tanded weapons, but his physique is pretty average. This is because although he uses a strength-based playstyle, he hates the look of huge, beefy guys with oversized weapons. He can use any two-handed weapon adequately, but the great sword is his baby.
Inside Pariah, Crowe has all of his limbs and layered, black hair. His eyes change to an inviting, purple-ish color and he wears mostly light, yet sturdy armor with thick plates on his forearms and shins to use as on-the-fly guards. He can be seen carrying large, heavy, two tanded weapons, but his physique is pretty average. This is because although he uses a strength-based playstyle, he hates the look of huge, beefy guys with oversized weapons. He can use any two-handed weapon adequately, but the great sword is his baby.
P E R S O N A L I T Y
Crow was once cocky and outspoken, but ever since the fire, that version of him is long gone. He can be reserved, even reclusive at times, but mostly he just likes to watch and listen to other people. Among friends or in a party, he is kind, compassionate and always wants to be helpful to the group. If anyone is a symbol of the Drox way, it's the Steel Crow.
Eric has a hard time letting people in. Although he is kind to them, he tries to keep himself blocked from most people. It's easier for him to not risk making close friends he might lose. The only person in game that he actually trusts is his blacksmith, Vulcan, and he hasn't even met the guy IRL.
Eric has a hard time letting people in. Although he is kind to them, he tries to keep himself blocked from most people. It's easier for him to not risk making close friends he might lose. The only person in game that he actually trusts is his blacksmith, Vulcan, and he hasn't even met the guy IRL.
B A C K G R O U N D
Eric was born into a well-off family of five. His parents were hot-shot political officials embarking on some revolutionary things. Someone seemed to disagree. An unnamed party was suspected to have been responsible for the fire that burned down the estate and killed both of his parents, but no one knows for sure.
Eric was trapped under smoldering support beams for long enough to end up a triple amputee after the emergency services finally arrived. His limbs were burned beyond use.
He elated to hear that Virtual Reality was coming into its prime, and when Pariah came out he had to try it. The thought of being able to walk and swing a sword was intoxicating. When he finally got the game and loaded in, he fell immediately in love.
His older brother, Brandon inherited monthly checks but they weren't enough. Brandon joined the Navy and claimed Eric as a dependent. Now they move from place to place, enjoying life as much as they can while their Sister, the middle child of the three, does who-knows-what.
Eric was trapped under smoldering support beams for long enough to end up a triple amputee after the emergency services finally arrived. His limbs were burned beyond use.
He elated to hear that Virtual Reality was coming into its prime, and when Pariah came out he had to try it. The thought of being able to walk and swing a sword was intoxicating. When he finally got the game and loaded in, he fell immediately in love.
His older brother, Brandon inherited monthly checks but they weren't enough. Brandon joined the Navy and claimed Eric as a dependent. Now they move from place to place, enjoying life as much as they can while their Sister, the middle child of the three, does who-knows-what.
A T T R I B U T E S
R O L E
Tank or Support
A F F I L A T I O N
Drox
P R O F E S S I O N
Healer
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
Most two-handed weapons, Mainly Greatswords. He can also wield a sword and shield if he's playing support, although he's not nearly as good at it.
B E N C H M A R K S
PHYSICAL
Fleet Footed: Being overjoyed to be able to run, Crow tends to do it a lot. He gets faster and faster all the time, and can use this as an escape if his slow-natured attacks put him in a pinch.
Enhanced Strength: hours of swinging his great sword around have increased his physique, allowing him to deal more damage as a DPS or carry even the heavily armored party members out of the fray as Support if needed.
Ward of Drox: as a protector of his friends,Crow has blocked a lot of attacks as a tank. This has hardened him as a fighter, allowing him to take a lot of damage without wavering, as well as increasing the durability of his weapons and gear.
Charge: Crow can run through a group of enemies, dealing increased DPS as long as his out-held weapon does not move. If he slashes instead of letting his own momentum do the work, the buff is lost.
Sunder: When activated, this once-per-encounter skill allows Crow to block any attack with unrelenting defense. The block rattles the enemy, stunning them and holding a chance to deplete the durability of and shatter their weapon.
MENTAL
Helping Hands: Crow's practice with healing has increased his overall affinity with healing practices. He is able to learn healing skills slightly faster than the average student.
Field Dress: If he's quick enough, Crow can field dress a downed player's wounds and get them back into the fight.
War Dog: As a tank, Crow has learned the best ways to gain the agro and attention of enemies, effectively distracting them from the actions of party members such as DPS's and Supports.
Hidden Talent: Crow's multi-play style build has allowed him to use low-level, AOE type healing incantations, but players have to be close to him and he has to be in a defensive or blocking position.
Multi-class: Crows interest in two very different play styles has allowed him to begin merging them. Hidden Talent is the only result currently, but more could come.
WEAKNESSES
Crow is little more than cover for others in a ranged fight, and in order to switch between Tank and Support, he has to re-equip between his great sword and sword-and-shield combo, sonit takes a lot of time, especially if he's in an encounter. His need to help people can sometimes distract him from the duties of a tank. Additionally, his lack of close relationships means he rarely works with the same party twice. This means there is a lack of teamwork at times due to the single-serving nature of the encounters
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
Crow spent most of his time grinding for decent gear and skill with his weapon at first until a party asked him to join them in a dungeon. There he discovered his passion for helping others. He began to dabble in healing magic and other restoration abilities like treating wounds on the battle field with med kits. He's just recently learned to use mid-level healing incantations. He found his way to the pathos of Drox, and has lived by it since. This also led to a change in attitude IRL too, but his scars are not just skin deep. He still carries the emotional and mental trauma from the fire.
One might call him a sword for hire, although he doesn't charge a price or even ask for unreasonable shares or drops. He just wants to help others and have fun, even at the expense of his own progression.
One might call him a sword for hire, although he doesn't charge a price or even ask for unreasonable shares or drops. He just wants to help others and have fun, even at the expense of his own progression.
[/quote]
@Gowi will this do?
Xiro Zean Redundant Writer of Redundantness
Member
Seen
1 mo ago
@gowi I finally finished up the errors. All it took was some pizza, motivation, and the enter button. I feel like I may have missed one of those though.ALEX /// VULCAN
“Do you really think you can stand against my blade? I crafted it myself you know.”O V E R V I E W
N A M EAlex Sharp
A V A T A RVulcan
A G E23
G E N D E RMale
V I S A G EHis visage in game changes little from his image in real life. The largest difference is that his brown hair in real life has become a deep black. Otherwise, as a result of his heavy physical regime in real life, he looks extraordinarily fit in game as well. He even has several scars running up and down his body from training that have also been made present in the game. There presence even in game is because he takes pride in the life he has lived up until this point.
However his hair color changing represents his independence and strong will as well as his self control and discipline. Due to the change in his hair, he decided to take on the color as his personal style. Black shirt, black pants, and a black coat are his trade mark. Thanks to his choice of color and profession choice, he has often heard himself being called the “Black Smith” as a nickname.
P E R S O N A L I T YHe is independent and strong willed, relying on himself and his own strength for just about everything. However, it is not because he is introverted by nature. Rather, he is more of an extrovert and simply prefers to conquer by his own hand.
His dedication to becoming the greatest weapon smith was so strong that it even landed him decided that Draethir was the faction that could best support him. He is known for being one of the many pragmatic artisans within Draethir that value achievement above all else.
B A C K G R O U N DWhen he was younger he played many games, but what he found most fascinating about the games was creating the strongest weapon to dominate. When he was mature enough his parents signed him up for martial arts and he became to busy to touch a game again. For years he trained in many styles ranging from western to eastern arts and even studied various martial weapon disciplines.
He finally found rest when he went to college to pursue a degree in World History. He still maintained his body everyday but he now had more time to relax since martial arts was no longer his focus. In order to use up his tremendous free time, he started getting back into gaming, reigniting the joy he once had. It didn't take him long to discover the realism that VRMMOs had to offer.
Eventually he came upon Pariah. With the versatility that it offered he decided to become a blacksmith. His independent nature and personal strength and knowledge in martial arts allowed him to take up the sword and acquire his own materials. Having no preconceptions about his own strength, he knows he must rely on others to help him to acquire the best materials to further his blacksmithing abilities. After finally completing college, he now has an enormous amount of time on his hands before he has to get a job. Using this new found freedom, he is going to become a blacksmith renowned throughout Pariah forevermore.A T T R I B U T E S
R O L EMixed Melee DPS/Tank
A F F I L A T I O NDraethir
P R O F E S S I O NWeapons Blacksmith
W E A P O N O F C H O I C EHe mainly uses katanas, but he also is skilled in using his body as a method of attack.
B E N C H M A R K SHardened in Flame – As a blacksmith, he has spent long hours residing next to the heat of a forge. The flames have hardened his skin allowing him to more easily endure the heat. He has an increased resistance to all fire attribute effects, including magical fire.
Enhanced Strength – Hours of physical labor in a forge have increased his strength, allowing him to use heavier hammers in smithing as well as increasing his general combat strength.
Riposte – Rather then blocking an attack full on, he has learned to adjust the flow of his opponents attack with his blade. After catching his opponent off his guard, he executes a swift counter attack in response.
Diminutive Presence – Fighting alone for any length of time is dangerous to any fighter. After spending an extensive amount of time fighting solo, he has developed a presence that seems to be ignored by many enemies. This decreases his chances of finding himself surrounded in a fight.
Flashing Arc – Drawing his blade in one clean and destructive motion, he is able to deal massive damage before his sword is even fully drawn and before the enemy even knows what hit him.Weapon Smithing – Be they swords, katanas, knifes, hammers, or axes, he can make it. As long as its useful in the maiming of others he can most definitely craft it
Magic Weapon Smith – Smithing ordinary metal has its limits. He has learned to go beyond simple weapon smithing and has begun to incorporate magic into his weapons. It is very difficult to do, requiring many had to acquire materials and a lot of time to prepare to make a successful magic weapon. Alternatively, he can temporarily enchant a normal blade to do elemental damage. However, the amount of magical energy it requires to perform puts him at a significant risk if the fight was to last even a few seconds longer.
Field Mending – Weapons get damaged over time naturally. Being a blacksmith, he knows a few tricks to fix up those poorly maintained weapons, even in the middle of nowhere. Got a crack in your blade? He's on it. The wrappings on your hilt falling off? He'll fix that. Got a broken wrist from your negligible ability with a blade? Sorry, but he cant fix that. He's a blacksmith not a doctor, go find one and learn how to use your sorry weapon while your at it.
Ore Knowledge – Being a warrior blacksmith has its limits. Having to buy the ores he uses to craft with, he has developed a discerning eye for them. Their strengths, weaknesses, and he is even able to distinguish what ores are in a weapon.
Katana Mastery – Skills with weapons are not hard to come by. If enough effort is put into a single weapon then mastery can surely be achieved. A katana has is peculiar as most think that it is the “strongest blade”. However, that is not the case. Where a katana does have impressive cutting strength, that is only when it is well forged and with quality materials. The blade itself, being an amalgam of varying strengths, finds itself breaking quite often. Sure, you can try to cut through that solid steal rebar, and it just might happen, but your blade will definitely not look the same afterward. Using the katana doesn’t require much skill on it's own, mastering the katana, on the other hand, requires the wielder to understand its innate properties and to work around it's weaknesses.Flashing Arc only works when he has his blade sheathed, so it can only work once per fight, unless he continuously resheathes his weapon during combat.
He has no range capabilities what so ever, if he is caught in a ranged battle against multiple opponents then he is surely done for.
Crowd Control is similarly a huge weakness of his.
He is also not specialized in one area other than blacksmithing weapons. In combat he could barely be called a tank and barely be called a DPS.
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R YHe has spent most of his time developing his sword skills, collecting materials, and smithing all manner of weapons. His name is not well known throughout the game, but the symbol he trademarks his weapons with is well known itself. A falcon adorns all of his crafts and bears the legacy of his greatest works. Feeling that he has achieved the limits of what he can do on his own, he has been searching for people to fight more difficult monsters with.
Here is all that I changed:Weapon Smithing – Be they swords, katanas, knifes, hammers, or axes, he can make it. As long as its useful in the maiming of others he can most definitely craft it
Magic Weapon Smith – Smithing ordinary metal has its limits. He has learned to go beyond simple weapon smithing and has begun to incorporate magic into his weapons. It is very difficult to do, requiring many had to acquire materials and a lot of time to prepare to make a successful magic weapon. Alternatively, he can temporarily enchant a normal blade to do elemental damage. However, the amount of magical energy it requires to perform puts him at a significant risk if the fight was to last even a few seconds longer.
Field Mending – Weapons get damaged over time naturally. Being a blacksmith, he knows a few tricks to fix up those poorly maintained weapons, even in the middle of nowhere. Got a crack in your blade? He's on it. The wrappings on your hilt falling off? He'll fix that. Got a broken wrist from your negligible ability with a blade? Sorry, but he cant fix that. He's a blacksmith not a doctor, go find one and learn how to use your sorry weapon while your at it.
Ore Knowledge – Being a warrior blacksmith has its limits. Having to buy the ores he uses to craft with, he has developed a discerning eye for them. Their strengths, weaknesses, and he is even able to distinguish what ores are in a weapon.
Katana Mastery – Skills with weapons are not hard to come by. If enough effort is put into a single weapon then mastery can surely be achieved. A katana has is peculiar as most think that it is the “strongest blade”. However, that is not the case. Where a katana does have impressive cutting strength, that is only when it is well forged and with quality materials. The blade itself, being an amalgam of varying strengths, finds itself breaking quite often. Sure, you can try to cut through that solid steal rebar, and it just might happen, but your blade will definitely not look the same afterward. Using the katana doesn’t require much skill on it's own, mastering the katana, on the other hand, requires the wielder to understand its innate properties and to work around it's weaknesses.
I even included a bit about the katana trope, to justify that its not over powered.
Oh. My. GOOOOOOD.
Beaten to the Blacksmith punch by another character... At least he only makes swords and not armor. That would've made me cry Dx
We should totally meet up and run an equipment store
1x Like
PrimalOrigins
Member
Seen
7 yrs ago
We should totally meet up and run an equipment store
Unslash that, this could be a thing.
2x Like
TheMinorFall 1000, 993, 986, 979, 972, 965, 958.....
Member
Seen
6 yrs ago
That was fast.
Is this directed at me? Lol
1x Like
GM
@TheMinorFall
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“Message me if you need anything. I'll come if I can.”
N A M E
A V A T A R
A G E
G E N D E R
V I S A G E
P E R S O N A L I T Y
B A C K G R O U N D
R O L E
A F F I L A T I O N
P R O F E S S I O N
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
B E N C H M A R K S
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
Fixed some formatting— name header, hiders. Nothing major since a lot of this is pretty simple and easy to review.
Visage: I like this conceptually! "Points!"
Background: Is it fair to presume that their wealth is also the product of their inheritance from their late politician parents as well as any medical insurance claims? I like the idea; short but sweet.
Benchmarks: Reading over your benchmarks I’m going to repeat what I told Crash and to a lesser extent Superboy.
So while traits like Enhanced Strength and Fleet Footed really work fundamentally here I’m not sure if Charge and Sunder do since they are more MMO-y activated abilities. Remember that Pariah is the anti-MMO MMO where it fashions itself as more virtual reality simulation than MMORPG. Look at other CS’s for examples or ask for advice!
With your mental skills some notes:
History: I can dig it. We need more people-minded folks given how many Draethir assholes we have. Myself included.
Overall it only needs a few revisions and expansions as far as I can tell. So I hope this review is helpful!
E R I C /// S T E E L
“Message me if you need anything. I'll come if I can.”
O V E R V I E W
N A M E
Eric Steele
A V A T A R
Steel Crow
A G E
20
G E N D E R
Male
V I S A G E
Crow's image in game is vastly different from his appearance IRL. This is because he is a triple amputee, having only his right arm as a full limb. He lost entire left arm, his entire left leg, and his right leg at the knee in a tragic fire that claimed the lives of his parents. Forty percent of his remaining body is scarred. He spends most of his time in a power chair since his older siblings can't afford to get him fitted with prosthetics. In real life, he wears mostly simple, neutral colored tee shirts, black, tied-off sweats, and his favorite grey slouchy hat. His hair is dyed silver and his eyes are a lush green.
Inside Pariah, Crowe has all of his limbs and layered, black hair. His eyes change to an inviting, purple-ish color and he wears mostly light, yet sturdy armor with thick plates on his forearms and shins to use as on-the-fly guards. He can be seen carrying large, heavy, two tanded weapons, but his physique is pretty average. This is because although he uses a strength-based playstyle, he hates the look of huge, beefy guys with oversized weapons. He can use any two-handed weapon adequately, but the great sword is his baby.
Inside Pariah, Crowe has all of his limbs and layered, black hair. His eyes change to an inviting, purple-ish color and he wears mostly light, yet sturdy armor with thick plates on his forearms and shins to use as on-the-fly guards. He can be seen carrying large, heavy, two tanded weapons, but his physique is pretty average. This is because although he uses a strength-based playstyle, he hates the look of huge, beefy guys with oversized weapons. He can use any two-handed weapon adequately, but the great sword is his baby.
P E R S O N A L I T Y
Crow was once cocky and outspoken, but ever since the fire, that version of him is long gone. He can be reserved, even reclusive at times, but mostly he just likes to watch and listen to other people. Among friends or in a party, he is kind, compassionate and always wants to be helpful to the group. If anyone is a symbol of the Drox way, it's the Steel Crow.
Eric has a hard time letting people in. Although he is kind to them, he tries to keep himself blocked from most people. It's easier for him to not risk making close friends he might lose. The only person in game that he actually trusts is his blacksmith, Vulcan, and he hasn't even met the guy IRL.
Eric has a hard time letting people in. Although he is kind to them, he tries to keep himself blocked from most people. It's easier for him to not risk making close friends he might lose. The only person in game that he actually trusts is his blacksmith, Vulcan, and he hasn't even met the guy IRL.
B A C K G R O U N D
Eric was born into a well-off family of five. His parents were hot-shot political officials embarking on some revolutionary things. Someone seemed to disagree. An unnamed party was suspected to have been responsible for the fire that burned down the estate and killed both of his parents, but no one knows for sure.
Eric was trapped under smoldering support beams for long enough to end up a triple amputee after the emergency services finally arrived. His limbs were burned beyond use.
He elated to hear that Virtual Reality was coming into its prime, and when Pariah came out he had to try it. The thought of being able to walk and swing a sword was intoxicating. When he finally got the game and loaded in, he fell immediately in love.
His older brother, Brandon inherited monthly checks but they weren't enough. Brandon joined the Navy and claimed Eric as a dependent. Now they move from place to place, enjoying life as much as they can while their Sister, the middle child of the three, does who-knows-what.
Eric was trapped under smoldering support beams for long enough to end up a triple amputee after the emergency services finally arrived. His limbs were burned beyond use.
He elated to hear that Virtual Reality was coming into its prime, and when Pariah came out he had to try it. The thought of being able to walk and swing a sword was intoxicating. When he finally got the game and loaded in, he fell immediately in love.
His older brother, Brandon inherited monthly checks but they weren't enough. Brandon joined the Navy and claimed Eric as a dependent. Now they move from place to place, enjoying life as much as they can while their Sister, the middle child of the three, does who-knows-what.
A T T R I B U T E S
R O L E
Tank or Support
A F F I L A T I O N
Drox
P R O F E S S I O N
Healer
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
Most two-handed weapons, Mainly Greatswords. He can also wield a sword and shield if he's playing support, although he's not nearly as good at it.
B E N C H M A R K S
Fleet Footed: Being overjoyed to be able to run, Crow tends to do it a lot. He gets faster and faster all the time, and can use this as an escape if his slow-natured attacks put him in a pinch.
Enhanced Strength: hours of swinging his great sword around have increased his physique, allowing him to deal more damage as a DPS or carry even the heavily armored party members out of the fray as Support if needed.
Ward of Drox: as a protector of his friends,Crow has blocked a lot of attacks as a tank. This has hardened him as a fighter, allowing him to take a lot of damage without wavering, as well as increasing the durability of his weapons and gear.
Charge: Crow can run through a group of enemies, dealing increased DPS as long as his out-held weapon does not move. If he slashes instead of letting his own momentum do the work, the buff is lost.
Sunder: When activated, this once-per-encounter skill allows Crow to block any attack with unrelenting defense. The block rattles the enemy, stunning them and holding a chance to deplete the durability of and shatter their weapon.
Enhanced Strength: hours of swinging his great sword around have increased his physique, allowing him to deal more damage as a DPS or carry even the heavily armored party members out of the fray as Support if needed.
Ward of Drox: as a protector of his friends,Crow has blocked a lot of attacks as a tank. This has hardened him as a fighter, allowing him to take a lot of damage without wavering, as well as increasing the durability of his weapons and gear.
Charge: Crow can run through a group of enemies, dealing increased DPS as long as his out-held weapon does not move. If he slashes instead of letting his own momentum do the work, the buff is lost.
Sunder: When activated, this once-per-encounter skill allows Crow to block any attack with unrelenting defense. The block rattles the enemy, stunning them and holding a chance to deplete the durability of and shatter their weapon.
Helping Hands: Crow's practice with healing has increased his overall affinity with healing practices. He is able to learn healing skills slightly faster than the average student.
Field Dress: If he's quick enough, Crow can field dress a downed player's wounds and get them back into the fight.
War Dog: As a tank, Crow has learned the best ways to gain the agro and attention of enemies, effectively distracting them from the actions of party members such as DPS's and Supports.
Hidden Talent: Crow's multi-play style build has allowed him to use low-level, AOE type healing incantations, but players have to be close to him and he has to be in a defensive or blocking position.
Multi-class: Crows interest in two very different play styles has allowed him to begin merging them. Hidden Talent is the only result currently, but more could come.
Field Dress: If he's quick enough, Crow can field dress a downed player's wounds and get them back into the fight.
War Dog: As a tank, Crow has learned the best ways to gain the agro and attention of enemies, effectively distracting them from the actions of party members such as DPS's and Supports.
Hidden Talent: Crow's multi-play style build has allowed him to use low-level, AOE type healing incantations, but players have to be close to him and he has to be in a defensive or blocking position.
Multi-class: Crows interest in two very different play styles has allowed him to begin merging them. Hidden Talent is the only result currently, but more could come.
Crow is little more than cover for others in a ranged fight, and in order to switch between Tank and Support, he has to re-equip between his great sword and sword-and-shield combo, sonit takes a lot of time, especially if he's in an encounter. His need to help people can sometimes distract him from the duties of a tank. Additionally, his lack of close relationships means he rarely works with the same party twice. This means there is a lack of teamwork at times due to the single-serving nature of the encounters
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
Crow spent most of his time grinding for decent gear and skill with his weapon at first until a party asked him to join them in a dungeon. There he discovered his passion for helping others. He began to dabble in healing magic and other restoration abilities like treating wounds on the battle field with med kits. He's just recently learned to use mid-level healing incantations. He found his way to the pathos of Drox, and has lived by it since. This also led to a change in attitude IRL too, but his scars are not just skin deep. He still carries the emotional and mental trauma from the fire.
One might call him a sword for hire, although he doesn't charge a price or even ask for unreasonable shares or drops. He just wants to help others and have fun, even at the expense of his own progression.
One might call him a sword for hire, although he doesn't charge a price or even ask for unreasonable shares or drops. He just wants to help others and have fun, even at the expense of his own progression.
Fixed some formatting— name header, hiders. Nothing major since a lot of this is pretty simple and easy to review.
Visage: I like this conceptually! "Points!"
Background: Is it fair to presume that their wealth is also the product of their inheritance from their late politician parents as well as any medical insurance claims? I like the idea; short but sweet.
Benchmarks: Reading over your benchmarks I’m going to repeat what I told Crash and to a lesser extent Superboy.
For example:Decadent Dungeoneer – Dungeons are dangerous places in Pariah full of monsters, traps, and great treasures. After some time exploring and plundering these ruins and crypts Rael has found herself quite adept at pinpointing the best way to circumnavigate the dangers of their contents.
The other issues I have are with Tracker’s Gut for similar reasons (there is no explanation to it), and possibly small nitpicks with Gray Man and Self Support.
Remember to consider benchmarks are traits that have occurred due to efforts in the simulation; sometimes due to effort, study, training, or habit. Hanako is more fluid with her dodging because of outmaneuvering of opponents, Marcelino is apt at casting spells in combat after experience ignoring distractions on the battlefield, etc.
So while traits like Enhanced Strength and Fleet Footed really work fundamentally here I’m not sure if Charge and Sunder do since they are more MMO-y activated abilities. Remember that Pariah is the anti-MMO MMO where it fashions itself as more virtual reality simulation than MMORPG. Look at other CS’s for examples or ask for advice!
With your mental skills some notes:
- Helping Hands should be noted more specifically— is it more physician abilities with first aid and basic alchemy or is it more healing spells/domains? Having an affinity with healing is fine, but remember to note what kind of healing it is!
- Multi-Class seems redundant to me; perhaps finding a more apt mental benchmark would be better than basically telling me what I already can gather from your healer/tank hybrid concept.
History: I can dig it. We need more people-minded folks given how many Draethir assholes we have. Myself included.
Overall it only needs a few revisions and expansions as far as I can tell. So I hope this review is helpful!
Vec Liquid Intelligence
Member
Seen
6 mos ago
dammit, someone beat me to the accident trope!
... He even has a sister and a brother, for god's sake ...
I am bummed now...
... He even has a sister and a brother, for god's sake ...
I am bummed now...
4x Laugh
coGM
shylarah the crazy one
Member
Seen
2 hrs ago
Torn between Drox and Tyhrien. Emma falls somewhere between the two, because while she does like playing hero, she's not necessarily honorable at all times. And while she's a protector/defender, she likes doing great deeds as well. Advice, anyone?
Also, will be looking to establish some preexisting character relationships soon. Nothing like best buds, but maybe some folks she knows and has worked with.
Also, will be looking to establish some preexisting character relationships soon. Nothing like best buds, but maybe some folks she knows and has worked with.
coGM
shylarah the crazy one
Member
Seen
2 hrs ago
@Gowi Wait, so avatar creation is automatic, without the ability to customize basic traits at all? And is everyone human? there's no species stuff, and choosing an appearance/gender? ...Then how did that one gal get kitty ears?
GM
Torn between Drox and Tyhrien. Emma falls somewhere between the two, because while she does like playing hero, she's not necessarily honorable at all times. And while she's a protector/defender, she likes doing great deeds as well. Advice, anyone?
I would have to know the character more in-depth to give proper advice, but let me try to expand on pathos fraternities. These are large factions that have people who interpret their core principles in their own way. Not every member of Tyhrien is going to be a valiant knight— they might be a hiresword who values honor or a code of ethics, they might be a craftsman who doesn’t try to grift someone out of their gold because they value their word, and so on. Tyhrien means honor so people are willing to live by that pathos however they see fit.
@Gowi Wait, so avatar creation is automatic, without the ability to customize basic traits at all? And is everyone human? there's no species stuff, and choosing an appearance/gender? ...Then how did that one gal get kitty ears?
I had a friend ask me if he could be an anthropomorphic turtle and given the framework of how I envisioned Pariah I had to say no, so I wanted to be consistent with that. I already explained how the “cat ears” can be explained away by psychological desires and so forth since a lot of this RP’s background is pseudo-philosophy and pseudo-science. The idea is individuals will be generally human but Pariah’s framing as a hypostasis sort of analyzes people and interprets it differently. Hanako does not see herself impaired and someone who is impaired differently might not imagine themselves as such due to psychological longing or identification— identification could possibly even divert gender but nobody has tried that.
coGM
shylarah the crazy one
Member
Seen
2 hrs ago
@Gowi Sounds like Tyhrien, then. Would a serious gamer with a desire to escape the world for a bit and be someone other than herself -- just for enjoyment and relaxation -- turn out as something drastically different from her real appearance?
GM
@Gowi Sounds like Tyhrien, then. Would a serious gamer with a desire to escape the world for a bit and be someone other than herself -- just for enjoyment and relaxation -- turn out as something drastically different from her real appearance?
Depends what you mean and have in mind.
Turboshitter Ubiquitous. Mendacious. Polyglottal.
Member
Seen
7 mos ago
I'm hoping to have a finished sheet or at least a WIP in the next few hours.
1x Thank
GM
Added a rudimentary addendum to the OP where I plan on going into detail about magic.
TheMinorFall 1000, 993, 986, 979, 972, 965, 958.....
Member
Seen
6 yrs ago
@TheMinorFallE R I C /// S T E E L
“Message me if you need anything. I'll come if I can.”O V E R V I E W
N A M EEric Steele
A V A T A RSteel Crow
A G E20
G E N D E RMale
V I S A G ECrow's image in game is vastly different from his appearance IRL. This is because he is a triple amputee, having only his right arm as a full limb. He lost entire left arm, his entire left leg, and his right leg at the knee in a tragic fire that claimed the lives of his parents. Forty percent of his remaining body is scarred. He spends most of his time in a power chair since his older siblings can't afford to get him fitted with prosthetics. In real life, he wears mostly simple, neutral colored tee shirts, black, tied-off sweats, and his favorite grey slouchy hat. His hair is dyed silver and his eyes are a lush green.
Inside Pariah, Crowe has all of his limbs and layered, black hair. His eyes change to an inviting, purple-ish color and he wears mostly light, yet sturdy armor with thick plates on his forearms and shins to use as on-the-fly guards. He can be seen carrying large, heavy, two tanded weapons, but his physique is pretty average. This is because although he uses a strength-based playstyle, he hates the look of huge, beefy guys with oversized weapons. He can use any two-handed weapon adequately, but the great sword is his baby.
P E R S O N A L I T YCrow was once cocky and outspoken, but ever since the fire, that version of him is long gone. He can be reserved, even reclusive at times, but mostly he just likes to watch and listen to other people. Among friends or in a party, he is kind, compassionate and always wants to be helpful to the group. If anyone is a symbol of the Drox way, it's the Steel Crow.
Eric has a hard time letting people in. Although he is kind to them, he tries to keep himself blocked from most people. It's easier for him to not risk making close friends he might lose. The only person in game that he actually trusts is his blacksmith, Vulcan, and he hasn't even met the guy IRL.
B A C K G R O U N DEric was born into a well-off family of five. His parents were hot-shot political officials embarking on some revolutionary things. Someone seemed to disagree. An unnamed party was suspected to have been responsible for the fire that burned down the estate and killed both of his parents, but no one knows for sure.
Eric was trapped under smoldering support beams for long enough to end up a triple amputee after the emergency services finally arrived. His limbs were burned beyond use.
He elated to hear that Virtual Reality was coming into its prime, and when Pariah came out he had to try it. The thought of being able to walk and swing a sword was intoxicating. When he finally got the game and loaded in, he fell immediately in love.
His older brother, Brandon inherited monthly checks but they weren't enough. Brandon joined the Navy and claimed Eric as a dependent. Now they move from place to place, enjoying life as much as they can while their Sister, the middle child of the three, does who-knows-what.A T T R I B U T E S
R O L ETank or Support
A F F I L A T I O NDrox
P R O F E S S I O NHealer
W E A P O N O F C H O I C EMost two-handed weapons, Mainly Greatswords. He can also wield a sword and shield if he's playing support, although he's not nearly as good at it.
B E N C H M A R K SFleet Footed: Being overjoyed to be able to run, Crow tends to do it a lot. He gets faster and faster all the time, and can use this as an escape if his slow-natured attacks put him in a pinch.
Enhanced Strength: hours of swinging his great sword around have increased his physique, allowing him to deal more damage as a DPS or carry even the heavily armored party members out of the fray as Support if needed.
Ward of Drox: as a protector of his friends,Crow has blocked a lot of attacks as a tank. This has hardened him as a fighter, allowing him to take a lot of damage without wavering, as well as increasing the durability of his weapons and gear.
Helping Hands: Crow's practice with healing has increased his overall affinity with magical healing practices. He is able to learn healing magic slightly faster than the average student.
Friendly, neighborhood...: After a lot of dungeon helps and the many side-quests involving escorting or helping people of the towns, Crow has gained a reputation, not just amongst other players, but in the NPC community as well, making it easy for him to persuade or otherwise charm them if he needs to. As an added bonus, he tends to get discounts from the NPC shops.Field Dress:Crows extensive study of first aid in Pariah has sharpened his ability. If he's quick enough, Crow can field dress a downed player's wounds and get them back into the fight.
War Dog: As a tank, Crow has learned the best ways to gain the agro and attention of enemies, effectively distracting them from the actions of party members such as DPS's and Supports.
Hidden Talent: Crow's multi-play style build has allowed him to use low-level, AOE type healing incantations, but players have to be close to him and he has to be in a defensive or blocking position.
Dungeon Crawler: Being that his primary focus is dungeon and raid helps, Crow has developed a sense of how to navigate these areas and as Leo where to find all the little goodies usually are.Crow is little more than cover for others in a ranged fight, and in order to switch between Tank and Support, he has to re-equip between his great sword and sword-and-shield combo, sonit takes a lot of time, especially if he's in an encounter. His need to help people can sometimes distract him from the duties of a tank. His repeated runs through dungeons can sometimes lead him to get complacent in them. Additionally, his lack of close relationships means he rarely works with the same party twice. This means there is a lack of teamwork at times due to the single-serving nature of the encounters
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R YCrow spent most of his time grinding for decent gear and skill with his weapon at first until a party asked him to join them in a dungeon. There he discovered his passion for helping others. He began to dabble in healing magic and other restoration abilities like treating wounds on the battle field with med kits. He's just recently learned to use mid-level healing incantations. He found his way to the pathos of Drox, and has lived by it since. This also led to a change in attitude IRL too, but his scars are not just skin deep. He still carries the emotional and mental trauma from the fire.
One might call him a sword for hire, although he doesn't charge a price or even ask for unreasonable shares or drops. He just wants to help others and have fun, even at the expense of his own progression.
Fixed some formatting— name header, hiders. Nothing major since a lot of this is pretty simple and easy to review.
Visage: I like this conceptually! "Points!"
Background: Is it fair to presume that their wealth is also the product of their inheritance from their late politician parents as well as any medical insurance claims? I like the idea; short but sweet.
Benchmarks: Reading over your benchmarks I’m going to repeat what I told Crash and to a lesser extent Superboy.
<Snipped quote by Gowi>
So while traits like Enhanced Strength and Fleet Footed really work fundamentally here I’m not sure if Charge and Sunder do since they are more MMO-y activated abilities. Remember that Pariah is the anti-MMO MMO where it fashions itself as more virtual reality simulation than MMORPG. Look at other CS’s for examples or ask for advice!
With your mental skills some notes:
- Helping Hands should be noted more specifically— is it more physician abilities with first aid and basic alchemy or is it more healing spells/domains? Having an affinity with healing is fine, but remember to note what kind of healing it is!
- Multi-Class seems redundant to me; perhaps finding a more apt mental benchmark would be better than basically telling me what I already can gather from your healer/tank hybrid concept.
History: I can dig it. We need more people-minded folks given how many Draethir assholes we have. Myself included.
Overall it only needs a few revisions and expansions as far as I can tell. So I hope this review is helpful!
I hope this meets what you were looking for in a revision. I made changes directly to the quote. Some things are revised, som I just took right out. As far as this benchmarks, I honestly didn't expect to have to come up with five lol. That was more than I anticipated. I honestly can't think of a fifth mental benchmark that he would have learned. Halp?
Also thanks for the compliments! I thought really hard for him while I spent two hours trying to get the picture to show up in the preview mode.
Archmage MC
Member
Seen
3 days ago
@Gowi Still dunno what to put for virtual history. Only anime I saw that did this was .hack, and only a couple episodes so... yeah.
I'll probably fill those last 2 mental ones as the RP goes on. Short of more utility demon summons or something. I really don't get this benchmark stuff.
“Demons aren't so bad.”
N A M E
A V A T A R
A G E
G E N D E R
V I S A G E
P E R S O N A L I T Y
B A C K G R O U N D
R O L E
A F F I L A T I O N
P R O F E S S I O N
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
B E N C H M A R K S
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
I'll probably fill those last 2 mental ones as the RP goes on. Short of more utility demon summons or something. I really don't get this benchmark stuff.
Magnus /// Magnus
“Demons aren't so bad.”
O V E R V I E W
N A M E
Magnus Hellsing
A V A T A R
Magnus the Demonologist
A G E
18
G E N D E R
Male
V I S A G E
P E R S O N A L I T Y
Interested in the world around him and the secrets it holds. Tends to act abrasively but loves having friends and treats people nice. Very good at talking a way out of a situation if there is one. Tends to act calm most of the time if not being active and really doesn't have too many fears because of that. Besides the dark, when there are creepy sounds, hence the lantern. Doesn't fear monsters though, I mean, have you SEEN Fluffy?
B A C K G R O U N D
coming from a background that was more interested in the occult. Magnus spent most of his time reading books about days gone by where demons were believed to be among the populous. This is reflected with his avatar inside the game, making him a user of dark magic and demonic minions. It was also a chance to explore, which was always a neat thing. Might find something that hadn't been discovered yet.
A T T R I B U T E S
R O L E
Support/Utility/DPS/Tank depending on summoned demon. Though the Tank role isn't that good unless we're against some giant dragon with huge AoEs. Mr. Blueberry can't really tank anything else thats not last expansion because he doesn't have 90% damage reduction to being punched in the face.
A F F I L A T I O N
QUEON
P R O F E S S I O N
Diplomacy and Artifact hunting
W E A P O N O F C H O I C E
A giant Grimore bound in demon flesh on the hip used to summon demons. A staff to channel and cast destructive spells, said staff having a demonic hand at the top that moves around on its own accord, and a lantern to do support things like changing a DoT to a healing spell, Said lantern looking gothic, but not demonic.
B E N C H M A R K S
Core Demon 1: Mr. Blueberry/Tank (Blue Bulwark Demon) = Mr. Blueberry is a tough demon that keeps attention on himself by various means. From insulting the enemies mother to other not so savory things. He can take a hit, but he doesn't do much damage himself and tends to not last long against things that are way stronger than him as he doesn't have the skills of a real tank.
Empowerment: Mr. Blueberry gains massive damage reduction and heals himself for a short duration.
Core Demon 2: Fluffy/Utility (Demonic dog with lots of eyeballs, tentacles, mouths, and other Eldridge things all over it in weird places. Its probably female but no one has the courage to check. Especially after what Fluffy did to that one vet NPC...) = Fluffy, besides scaring anything that it runs at, tends to find lots of strange things or vomit strange things from one of its many mouths. These tend to be useful things such as food, water, paper, ext... And as long as you can get around that most of them will be gooey or slimey until cleaned off, they are just as good as the actual thing. (Fluffy only vomits up common items, no weapons or armor) Fluffy is also really good at scouting out areas or sniffing out treasures, if she/it doesn't decide it wants to chase that squirrel. In battle Fluffy acts like any kind of normal dog, sort of... the biting makes sense, but the tentacles going places... yeah... At least it can eat dark magic! Well, assuming your ok with being licked in 13 different places while being groped by tentacles. That being said, Fluffy is extremely resistant to magic, more so than the other demons.
Empowerment: Fluffy helps summon a party member. Though they tend to not be happy being covered in slime after summoning. I'll let you guess how Fluffy summons them...
Core Demon 3: Sir Sharky the Contractor/Support (Imp in a fancy suit with a monocle. Sounds and talks like a high class Brit) = While Sir Sharky can't fight on his own, he can write up demonic contracts that both the target and summoner have to hold up to, although the contract always favors the summoner by giving them loopholes to abuse. These things tend to bestow demonic powers upon the target or really any kind of pact should both parties accept. Sir Sharky can force others to sign contracts against their will, but these contracts tend to not have as much power behind them. Demonic Contracts are binding and must be followed, but are inactive if Sir Sharky isn't summoned at the time. Demonic Contracts are broken when both sides have been fulfilled, usually after a battle has finished, or if both sides agree to terminate the contract or if enough time has passed. (Buff/Debuff expires) Sir Sharky himself will phase shift himself so he can't be harmed by most things in combat if said situation occurs so his contracts don't break.
Empowerment: Current demonic contracts have their contractee effects increased or extended.
Core Demon 4: Spectra/DPS (Voidspawn, looks feminine) = Since Spectra speaks with a weird echo, its hard to know what shes saying sometimes, especially if she talks fast. She attacks whatever enemy she is sent at with shadow blades and other shadow based attacks while leeching their lifeforce to heal herself with a passive aura. Shadow based effects are greatly increased, and any damage Spectra takes is mirrored back at the opponent. Spectra can also teleport to her opponents if they get out of range. Shes quite frail if directly attacked, though if that happens then the tank has failed their job.
Empowerment: Increases Spectra damage and attacks made by her debuff the target, greatly reducing their armor and magic resist.
Demonic Enslavement = While Magnus works with a set of four core demons at a time, he can save the name of demons he discovers to place in his book for later, making them easy to control should they meet again or allowing them to be summoned. He can't empower these demons, nor do these demons gain the benefits of being summoned like his core demons, and these demons unlike the other core demons take a routine diet of soul shards to stay happy, otherwise they leave or attack the party depending on their mood. Magnus can have a normal demon enslaved/summoned alongside a core demon, but doing so will make him quickly run out of soul shards.
Empowerment: Mr. Blueberry gains massive damage reduction and heals himself for a short duration.
Core Demon 2: Fluffy/Utility (Demonic dog with lots of eyeballs, tentacles, mouths, and other Eldridge things all over it in weird places. Its probably female but no one has the courage to check. Especially after what Fluffy did to that one vet NPC...) = Fluffy, besides scaring anything that it runs at, tends to find lots of strange things or vomit strange things from one of its many mouths. These tend to be useful things such as food, water, paper, ext... And as long as you can get around that most of them will be gooey or slimey until cleaned off, they are just as good as the actual thing. (Fluffy only vomits up common items, no weapons or armor) Fluffy is also really good at scouting out areas or sniffing out treasures, if she/it doesn't decide it wants to chase that squirrel. In battle Fluffy acts like any kind of normal dog, sort of... the biting makes sense, but the tentacles going places... yeah... At least it can eat dark magic! Well, assuming your ok with being licked in 13 different places while being groped by tentacles. That being said, Fluffy is extremely resistant to magic, more so than the other demons.
Empowerment: Fluffy helps summon a party member. Though they tend to not be happy being covered in slime after summoning. I'll let you guess how Fluffy summons them...
Core Demon 3: Sir Sharky the Contractor/Support (Imp in a fancy suit with a monocle. Sounds and talks like a high class Brit) = While Sir Sharky can't fight on his own, he can write up demonic contracts that both the target and summoner have to hold up to, although the contract always favors the summoner by giving them loopholes to abuse. These things tend to bestow demonic powers upon the target or really any kind of pact should both parties accept. Sir Sharky can force others to sign contracts against their will, but these contracts tend to not have as much power behind them. Demonic Contracts are binding and must be followed, but are inactive if Sir Sharky isn't summoned at the time. Demonic Contracts are broken when both sides have been fulfilled, usually after a battle has finished, or if both sides agree to terminate the contract or if enough time has passed. (Buff/Debuff expires) Sir Sharky himself will phase shift himself so he can't be harmed by most things in combat if said situation occurs so his contracts don't break.
Empowerment: Current demonic contracts have their contractee effects increased or extended.
Core Demon 4: Spectra/DPS (Voidspawn, looks feminine) = Since Spectra speaks with a weird echo, its hard to know what shes saying sometimes, especially if she talks fast. She attacks whatever enemy she is sent at with shadow blades and other shadow based attacks while leeching their lifeforce to heal herself with a passive aura. Shadow based effects are greatly increased, and any damage Spectra takes is mirrored back at the opponent. Spectra can also teleport to her opponents if they get out of range. Shes quite frail if directly attacked, though if that happens then the tank has failed their job.
Empowerment: Increases Spectra damage and attacks made by her debuff the target, greatly reducing their armor and magic resist.
Demonic Enslavement = While Magnus works with a set of four core demons at a time, he can save the name of demons he discovers to place in his book for later, making them easy to control should they meet again or allowing them to be summoned. He can't empower these demons, nor do these demons gain the benefits of being summoned like his core demons, and these demons unlike the other core demons take a routine diet of soul shards to stay happy, otherwise they leave or attack the party depending on their mood. Magnus can have a normal demon enslaved/summoned alongside a core demon, but doing so will make him quickly run out of soul shards.
1. Demon Summoning = While only one Core demon can be summoned at a time, and summoning a new Core demon replaces the old one and takes quite a considerable amount of time due to needing to draw the summoning circles, write the runes, say the words, ext... Core demons that are summoned are virtually immune to Area of Effect attacks, fire, and demonic spells while being much stronger than they normally would. Core demons that are killed can be resummoned, but they don't need as long of a ritual to resummon them if its the same demon as last time. Soul Shards can be used to empower Core demons, granting them extra abilities or effects for a short time.
2. Shadow Word = A dark incantation that can be used to heal or harm, depending on who its cast upon and if its cast through the lantern, or the staff. Shadow Word does far more healing than damage. Shadow Word can only be placed on one thing at a time, due to its cooldown. It should be noted that even while it says nice things to whoever its healing, its in a creepy whispering voice that you can barely make out, and the runes hovering around your body don't make it any less creepy. Anything that dies with Shadow Word on it has its soul trapped inside a soul shard.
3. Demon Eye = While preferring to stick with his demons, Magnus knows quite a bit about dark or ritualistic magic and curses, and can spot it a mile off.
4.
5.
2. Shadow Word = A dark incantation that can be used to heal or harm, depending on who its cast upon and if its cast through the lantern, or the staff. Shadow Word does far more healing than damage. Shadow Word can only be placed on one thing at a time, due to its cooldown. It should be noted that even while it says nice things to whoever its healing, its in a creepy whispering voice that you can barely make out, and the runes hovering around your body don't make it any less creepy. Anything that dies with Shadow Word on it has its soul trapped inside a soul shard.
3. Demon Eye = While preferring to stick with his demons, Magnus knows quite a bit about dark or ritualistic magic and curses, and can spot it a mile off.
4.
5.
R O U G H V I R T U A L H I S T O R Y
So what do I put here exactly? You did say to leave this blank to fill out as the RP progresses.
GM
I honestly didn't expect to have to come up with five lol. That was more than I anticipated.
Haha, same here and I wrote the quantifier. Imagine how I felt working on my own CS? I thought I was so damn stupid but I had already made my bed so I was going to sleep in it— wasn’t going to tell people that they had 4/4 or 3/3 instead.
I honestly can't think of a fifth mental benchmark that he would have learned. Halp?
I feel like “domain affinities” would be more mental traits (or at least that is what I told others, so consistency!). I guess that means I need to help you with a physical benchmark, huh? Since your character is a healer-oriented individual perhaps his experience in medicine and combat has led to a stronger fortitude/constitution?
I should’ve just made it 5 benchmarks instead of 5 physical and mental, huh?
Also thanks for the compliments!
No problem— I’m generally very cooperative and kind despite popular belief!
Also your hiders are too spaced. Hit the backspace between physical and mental hiders plox. :F
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