@hatakekuroHey man, are you going to post anytime soon? If not, then is it okay if I move Ezekiel onto the Ball?

Sorry man! I've been so busy, but today I'll respond.

<Snipped quote by Raijinslayer>

Sorry man! I've been so busy, but today I'll respond.

Woo!

To be fair I only just recently posted myself.

Ill make my posts tomorrow peeps

I'll do Enma and Ferris in a separate post. *face plants from exhaustion*

Name: Parrot
Age: In the mid-Thirties@Zarkun
Birthday: January 1st
Magic: Parrot has amazing magic capabilities. Unfortunately, when it comes to offensive magic, he is limited to the absolute basics, and even that's a stretch. Most of his kit revolves around Reconnaissance and research.
With his concealment magic, he can only mask or erase his presence. (Though still visible. He wears the Chameleon cloak for this reason.)
His Archive magic, though useful in information gathering and dispersing, is not meant for fighting. The Archive magic he uses can function normally visually, but it cannot block physically nor be used for attacks. Though, he can use the load function, which allows him to load information into the heads of other people. (Granted that he has permission)
Inherent with his studious and curious nature, Parrot can sense magical auras better than others. Though not exactly the best, his sensing powers are outstanding, allowing him to go with his studies and reconnaissance in an efficient manner. Unfortunately, while in battle, he is unable to focus.
He can teleport at will, though he cannot teleport too large of objects (yes to bags of stuff, no to humans and large crates). Also, he can only teleport to places that are in his line of sight or that he had already set a "marker" before. There are two types of "markers" he can create, temporary and permanent. For the temporary markers, he can only set one at any time and he must be at least a few miles within range of it to teleport. Though, he can set this marker instantly and the preparation time to teleport takes about split second to a moment depending on how far he is from the temporary marker. The permanent markers have no set limits. Though, he must spend considerable time setting a marker in an area (about a month or two), and the markers are tangible (circles, arrays, etc.). On top of that, it takes at least 5 minutes to prepare teleportation, maybe even more if the location is far enough. (Going halfway around the world takes at least 2 hours to prepare.) Though there is a perk to the physicality of these circles. Anything within the circle that doesn't go over the size limit can be teleported to the designated place. There are extra restrictions when transporting anything that is not Parrot. The items in question must be in the circles, unlike Parrot who can go to these wherever he is, and Parrot or people with sufficient knowledge are the only ones who can activate these. The failure to follow these rules can range from mundane to catastrophic.
Parrot also knows a few strange or lost magics through his travels. Sadly, these magics are severely limited due to the nature of his specialized magic. (If he were to know fairy law, he could "stun" the enemy but even that's a stretch...) Though, he can "teach" other people what he knows about them.
Magic Level: A (really D or even below that in terms of fighting...)
History: Parrot grew up in the life of travelling merchants. Though, rather than studying the art of trade and commerce, Parrot would instead seclude himself to the libraries and wilderness that were in the vicinity, occasionally listening to the background for gossip or news. By the time he became 10 years old, he could give you hundreds of books worth of facts about history, magic, nature, and much more. Along with his extensive knowledge, his athletic skills are above average because of his frequent trips throughout the wilderness.
By the time he hit twelve years old, he began to develop less than ordinary powers. Sometimes he would inexplicably pop up behind you or be able to tell when something "bad" would happen. It was discovered by the time he was fifteen that he inherently possessed very potent magic. With this, he first learned Archive magic, allowing him to add tons more information to his already ridiculous amount of knowledge. After he was satisfied with his Archive magic, he concentrated his efforts into completely concealing his presence in order to study animals without disturbing them. Finally, after years of practice and studying, he finally mastered the art of teleportation to help him to move between places more efficiently. It took him 19 years to master these three magics.
Parrot now travels the world, creating permanent markers along the way. (This amounts to about 20 to 24) Through unknown means, Parrot obtained his enchanted Eclectus Parrot that is able to talk and to act like an Aera magic user.
Personality:
Positive: Observant, Straightforward, Intelligent, Intuitive, Wise, Curious
Negative: Shy, Silent, Cowardly, Cold, Existential, Easily Flusterable, Irritable
Guild and guild mark location: He's not quite sure which one to join
Team Members: His Pet Eclectus Parrot
Three Strengths:
1. Reconnaissance Stealth
2. Research/Knowledge
3. Stealth
Three Weaknesses: (Make them Applicable)
1. Fighting and Strength
2. Faint-Hearted
3. Irritable
Greatest Love: Knowledge (It's apparent in his backstory...)
Motivation: A deep curiosity with the world around him.
Appearance: Parrot is more or less five and a half feet tall and has a lean but thick build. He has vibrant green hair with streaks of blue and red at the sides (like an Eclectus parrot). His eyes are a deep shade of green and his eye brows are a woody brown. When studying or outside, he is seen wearing a cloak similar to the color scheme of his hair. Also, he has a pet Eclectus parrot that accompanies him. When on missions, he usually dons enchanted cloak that changes appearance based on the surroundings. Without fail, you can see him wearing sandals if you lift up his robes.
Additional Details: He has a tendency towards sweets...

How's this? I've changed many details in the character sheet. I hope this is satisfactory!

Name: Parrot
Age: In the mid-Thirties@Zarkun
Birthday: January 1st
Magic: Parrot has amazing magic capabilities. Unfortunately, when it comes to offensive magic, he is limited to the absolute basics, and even that's a stretch. Most of his kit revolves around Reconnaissance and research.
With his concealment magic, he can only mask or erase his presence. (Though still visible. He wears the Chameleon cloak for this reason.)
His Archive magic, though useful in information gathering and dispersing, is not meant for fighting. The Archive magic he uses can function normally visually, but it cannot block physically nor be used for attacks. Though, he can use the load function, which allows him to load information into the heads of other people. (Granted that he has permission)
Inherent with his studious and curious nature, Parrot can sense magical auras better than others. Though not exactly the best, his sensing powers are outstanding, allowing him to go with his studies and reconnaissance in an efficient manner. Unfortunately, while in battle, he is unable to focus.
He can teleport at will, though he cannot teleport too large of objects (yes to bags of stuff, no to humans and large crates). Also, he can only teleport to places that are in his line of sight or that he had already set a "marker" before. There are two types of "markers" he can create, temporary and permanent. For the temporary markers, he can only set one at any time and he must be at least a few miles within range of it to teleport. Though, he can set this marker instantly and the preparation time to teleport takes about split second to a moment depending on how far he is from the temporary marker. The permanent markers have no set limits. Though, he must spend considerable time setting a marker in an area (about a month or two), and the markers are tangible (circles, arrays, etc.). On top of that, it takes at least 5 minutes to prepare teleportation, maybe even more if the location is far enough. (Going halfway around the world takes at least 2 hours to prepare.) Though there is a perk to the physicality of these circles. Anything within the circle that doesn't go over the size limit can be teleported to the designated place. There are extra restrictions when transporting anything that is not Parrot. The items in question must be in the circles, unlike Parrot who can go to these wherever he is, and Parrot or people with sufficient knowledge are the only ones who can activate these. The failure to follow these rules can range from mundane to catastrophic.
Parrot also knows a few strange or lost magics through his travels. Sadly, these magics are severely limited due to the nature of his specialized magic. (If he were to know fairy law, he could "stun" the enemy but even that's a stretch...) Though, he can "teach" other people what he knows about them.
Magic Level: A (really D or even below that in terms of fighting...)
History: Parrot grew up in the life of travelling merchants. Though, rather than studying the art of trade and commerce, Parrot would instead seclude himself to the libraries and wilderness that were in the vicinity, occasionally listening to the background for gossip or news. By the time he became 10 years old, he could give you hundreds of books worth of facts about history, magic, nature, and much more. Along with his extensive knowledge, his athletic skills are above average because of his frequent trips throughout the wilderness.
By the time he hit twelve years old, he began to develop less than ordinary powers. Sometimes he would inexplicably pop up behind you or be able to tell when something "bad" would happen. It was discovered by the time he was fifteen that he inherently possessed very potent magic. With this, he first learned Archive magic, allowing him to add tons more information to his already ridiculous amount of knowledge. After he was satisfied with his Archive magic, he concentrated his efforts into completely concealing his presence in order to study animals without disturbing them. Finally, after years of practice and studying, he finally mastered the art of teleportation to help him to move between places more efficiently. It took him 19 years to master these three magics.
Parrot now travels the world, creating permanent markers along the way. (This amounts to about 20 to 24) Through unknown means, Parrot obtained his enchanted Eclectus Parrot that is able to talk and to act like an Aera magic user.
Personality:
Positive: Observant, Straightforward, Intelligent, Intuitive, Wise, Curious
Negative: Shy, Silent, Cowardly, Cold, Existential, Easily Flusterable, Irritable
Guild and guild mark location: He's not quite sure which one to join
Team Members: His Pet Eclectus Parrot
Three Strengths:
1. Reconnaissance Stealth
2. Research/Knowledge
3. Stealth
Three Weaknesses: (Make them Applicable)
1. Fighting and Strength
2. Faint-Hearted
3. Irritable
Greatest Love: Knowledge (It's apparent in his backstory...)
Motivation: A deep curiosity with the world around him.
Appearance: Parrot is more or less five and a half feet tall and has a lean but thick build. He has vibrant green hair with streaks of blue and red at the sides (like an Eclectus parrot). His eyes are a deep shade of green and his eye brows are a woody brown. When studying or outside, he is seen wearing a cloak similar to the color scheme of his hair. Also, he has a pet Eclectus parrot that accompanies him. When on missions, he usually dons enchanted cloak that changes appearance based on the surroundings. Without fail, you can see him wearing sandals if you lift up his robes.
Additional Details: He has a tendency towards sweets...

How's this? I've changed many details in the character sheet. I hope this is satisfactory!

I'll let @Caits or @Expolar look at it first. Celebrating mah Birthday today.

@Zarkun Oh! Happy Birthday!

Will get a post up tomorrow.

@Zarkun Happy birthday!

Mine's in four more!

Birthday month bros!

Oh and Happy Birthday @Zarkun!

Nope, nope, this format hurts to look at, and is difficult to read.

Here, Parrot, like this:

Firstly, a Hider. Saves space, looks neat. You can pop one up by clicking the crossed out eye in the text box.

Secondly, spaces. Well placed line spacers really help. Enter key for those.
At least you know about indents...



Okay, much better, now you can actually read it.

So, I'm no GM, so all my comments here are worth about two sence, but I'm nosy and I'll give my imput anyway. Take it or leave it as you will.

First things first, magic.

Let me sum this up, teleportation a la Fourth Hokage from Naruto, Archive magic, with thousands uppn thousands of books worth of knowlage, steath and "limited strange/lost magic"

Any one of these would be fine, but all together is far too much in. Dispite 19 years of training, you don't just master magic just like that, especially with no mention of a teacher. Wizards devote their entire lives to magic, and still can't say they have mastered one, let alone three. The lost magic, especially is...a no go. One, maybe, multiple? No.

I see and appreciate what you are trying to do here, a wandering scholar type, but he far too young to have so much knowlage. Try 80 or more.

That leads me into his backstory. There are three things a backstory should achieve: Explain how/why a character has an ability or item, give some reason for why the character has their personality, and thirdly explain where they are and why they are there. The rest should be left to be explained in the IC.

Yours does none of these, and raises more questions then it answers.

Why is he so curious? Who or what is his Pet Parrot? Why is he named Parrot, and so happen to have a pet of the same name? How did he get such powerful magic? Was he taught it? Born with it? What about parents, siblings? Why in the backstory does it say "Sometimes he would inexplicably pop up behind you and be able to tell when something "bad" would happen?" Precognition was not in his powers. What is the mention of the "Chameleon Cloak" in his magic? Obviously its hides him, but how did he get it? Being able to teach lost magic is again, a huge ixnay. Lost magic is incredibly hard to learn, let alone teach. On top of that, until a decade or two ago, magic was hated, feared and outlawed. Yet there is no mention of that in his backstory.

Wise is also a difficult trait. You can say a character is wise, but you, as the writer, will have to back it up.

Its a moot point now, but with amazing magical capabilities, that much knowlage and magic, he would qualify as S class, and Caits has specifically said that new people with S class immediately is highly discouraged.

His personality is also a little lacking, but thats fine, as long as you know what he will act like IC.

Nope, nope, this format hurts to look at, and is difficult to read.

Here, Parrot, like this:

Firstly, a Hider. Saves space, looks neat. You can pop one up by clicking the crossed out eye in the text box.

Secondly, spaces. Well placed line spacers really help. Enter key for those.
At least you know about indents...

Like this: [+]

<Snipped quote by ALonelyParrot>

Okay, much better, now you can actually read it.

So, I'm no GM, so all my comments here are worth about two sence, but I'm nosy and I'll give my imput anyway. Take it or leave it as you will.

First things first, magic.

Let me sum this up, teleportation a la Fourth Hokage from Naruto, Archive magic, with thousands uppn thousands of books worth of knowlage, steath and "limited strange/lost magic"

Any one of these would be fine, but all together is far too much in. Dispite 19 years of training, you don't just master magic just like that, especially with no mention of a teacher. Wizards devote their entire lives to magic, and still can't say they have mastered one, let alone three. The lost magic, especially is...a no go. One, maybe, multiple? No.

I see and appreciate what you are trying to do here, a wandering scholar type, but he far too young to have so much knowlage. Try 80 or more.

That leads me into his backstory. There are three things a backstory should achieve: Explain how/why a character has an ability or item, give some reason for why the character has their personality, and thirdly explain where they are and why they are there. The rest should be left to be explained in the IC.

Yours does none of these, and raises more questions then it answers.

Why is he so curious? Who or what is his Pet Parrot? Why is he named Parrot, and so happen to have a pet of the same name? How did he get such powerful magic? Was he taught it? Born with it? What about parents, siblings? Why in the backstory does it say "Sometimes he would inexplicably pop up behind you and be able to tell when something "bad" would happen?" Precognition was not in his powers. What is the mention of the "Chameleon Cloak" in his magic? Obviously its hides him, but how did he get it? Being able to teach lost magic is again, a huge ixnay. Lost magic is incredibly hard to learn, let alone teach. On top of that, until a decade or two ago, magic was hated, feared and outlawed. Yet there is no mention of that in his backstory.

Wise is also a difficult trait. You can say a character is wise, but you, as the writer, will have to back it up.

Its a moot point now, but with amazing magical capabilities, that much knowlage and magic, he would qualify as S class, and Caits has specifically said that new people with S class immediately is highly discouraged.

His personality is also a little lacking, but thats fine, as long as you know what he will act like IC.

I recall we asked you to wait until ALL the GMs had said something.

<Snipped quote by Crimson Raven>

I recall we asked you to wait until ALL the GMs had said something.

I'm sorry. 😓

I must have missed that. I'm bouncing between two RPs, discord, and PMs.

Edit: Okay, I'm either blind or stupid, could you please point out where you said this?

<Snipped quote by Zarkun>

I'm sorry. 😓

I must have missed that. I'm bouncing between two RPs, discord, and PMs.

Edit: Okay, I'm either blind or stupid, could you please point out where you said this?

Somewhere in the thousands of pages of writing we have? It was a LONG time ago. I mean, it's all already there, so leave it, but give the GMs a chance to look. What's hard on you isn't necessarily hard on us.

<Snipped quote by Crimson Raven>

Somewhere in the thousands of pages of writing we have? It was a LONG time ago. I mean, it's all already there, so leave it, but give the GMs a chance to look. What's hard on you isn't necessarily hard on us.

Alright. I'll wait for you guys from now on.

@Crimson Raven@Zarkun It's fine that he's giving critique on my writing. As long as the criticism is helpful to a good enough degree, I'm more than happy to receive it. (To me, Raven did an excellent job) It's good for me to improve on my writing skills even though it might hurt a bit. (Or a lot. XD)

Unfortunately, I don't think I can work on it any further today. Got school finals next week. ;_; Wish me the best of skill, study, and sleep! (Not quite a believer in luck) :/

@ALonelyParrot

I have to agree with crimson, and there's no point me writing out everything thats already be said lol.

Its fine to have a scholary type, but yeah, three magies? Even Master Jamie only hs two. Huh. So does Penny...but she's a special case, being what she is.

@Lugubrious

Man if Fleo and Amaya only knew the crazyness that Nolan had been going through for the past week of the games. xD

Poor Karn xD getting a bad rep because of his possession enjoys irritating others and playing around

Edit: minus the dress since he's the one who likes wearing them <~<