I shouldn't have aired my issues out like this, it's not exactly kosher.

In theory, it's what this thread's for anyway, so you hardly need to apologize for staying on topic. It's not like you started creating a flame war like other individuals have in this thread in the past (I guess take that as my bitching for the day, if you like -- I've got a lot bigger problems I could be bitching about right now but I couldn't be fucked). I just wish I'd gone on my gut feeling regarding the implications of your post when I saw it a couple days ago.

This is a bitch to my current life.

NOT. ENOUGH. BEAUTY. SLEEP.

Sleep ain't gay. Only scrubs'd think that sleep is unimportant.

And of course, TOO MUCH BLOODY WORK.

I really feel annoyed with people who fall in love with the perpetual victimhood thing they push themselves into. It's strange to me that people can enjoy looking weak for the sake of attention.

I really feel annoyed with people who fall in love with the perpetual victimhood thing they push themselves into. It's strange to me that people can enjoy looking weak for the sake of attention.

I have mental issues.

That's probably like, the second time I mention it on the net. The other times probably in PM if it was acting up.

I don't mean normal, common day shit like OCD or anxiety attacks. Which everyone seems to fucking have these days.

I know those kind of people and they do it because it's easier to use mental illness as a tool to make themselves valid in other peoples life than just making friends does. They are literally their labels, which is ironic because these people will probably fight the hardest for their labels to not be dictators of themselves vocally.

Then they're fucked because when they finally want to stop. Their entire influence is set up as a someone who has x, dosen't have x, is struggling with x. Soon enough, they get X or Y...you can't pretend to be crazy. It does shit to you, pretending to be mentally ill. Especially for long periods of time, fucks you up. Especially your self esteem and sense of identity.

Pretty soon in the confusion you don't know where you start and the insanity was meant to stop.

I know you are talking generally here. But mental illness was the go to, still is mostly. Then it turn into politics, race, sexuality. None the less, living in that contradiction has the same end effect.

@ScreenAcne Oh, no, I was talking generally about a specific set of people I have in mind. It didn't really apply to RPG, but thinking about it I can see my comment fitting onto many many people on this website.

I was talking about people that fall in love with their 'totally real' depression and constantly moan and bitch about how lonely they are, how they have no friends, how nobody gets them, how depressed it all makes them. The catch is that it makes them look weak, and I hate weak people. Especially if they are weak for the sake of attention.

But yeah, you are right in that it turned into politics race and sexuality. If you make any of these your primary label, it's self-destructive and not only that but it makes you unlikeable. Nobody wants to talk with that idiot whose only identity is 'being depressed' or 'being a lesbian.' Nobody except people who are just like that, who use these things to get attention. And that's probably more dangerous because it turns into an echochamber.

If I bitch about the status bar, does it count as roleplay or non roleplay discussion?

Best to do it in both to be safe.

There is this cancer that is antithetical to the media world, this cancer is: continuation

While this probably always lasted in some form in another in media, products and even ideas that have long lived past its prime. It has reaped some of the most known and visible damage in the narrative mediums that it infests and ultimately consumes. I don't use cancer lightly, it is the perfect analogue. Many will blame marketing but marketing is but one fang of the snake, artist and general audiences have been guilty of planting this poison in everything.

The most clear example I can think of the top of my head is comics. Comics has iconic characters, literally iconic in the sense that they have nickanmes, gimmicky powers, sometimes inherent quirks or traits to grab your eye. Just like Steven Hawking gained popularity not just on the backbone of his own genius but because he has these big, bold traits to him just on first sight,ear and mind in his conversations.

So do all these characters. Problem is comics rarely move on. It's fucking creepy. No one dies anymore, nothing is consistent. The world just reset or always have some sort of action or event that rewinds or hand waves an impending consequence. It's a festering zombie that is kept alive by marketing and shambles about thanks to its fanatic audience. There is no point in villains or hero clashing, either against each other because NO ONE will die. Not even the by standers whom the company bother to name and if by some off chance they do. It will be all reset.

This creeped into TV too. Look at Doctor Who. An iconic character, an iconic series of traits that make him likable and memorable. I love doctor who but as the years went on he slowly transformed from this genius doctor with doors to our wildest dreams and to weird new wonders into this man that can basically use the same tactic on everything. I don't recall ONE episode that came out in the last 2 or 3 seasons that didn't avert the doctor being immediately shot by a major threat...especially homicidal ones like the Daleks or Cybermen because somehow...they're scared of him even when unarmed. He dosen't ingeniously sneak by or outsmart them. It's all just bluffing and pseudo techno babble with most of its guts spared to ellude to supposedly beyond compression technology.

They're the fucking daleks. They have no reason, NO reason to not shoot the Doctor on sight. And, sure. There are some exceptions to this when the Doctor does show or announce he has a device or bomb that can stop them. The worst part is that it extends to all his normal female companions. It undermines actual threats into angry therapist who are aggressively seeking a good chin wag.

In fact it's so bad I KNOW that the characters who I am meant to be invested in WILL HAVE NO EFFECT if it ties to other known /iconic actors. You hope for throw away ideas or characters just so there'd be some actual settled consequence or decisions.

but now it's spreading to games. It undermines your actions because even if it meant to add additional game play, effectively after you do every quest and every story line. After in the story itself you done all this dramatic shit. You suddenly find yourself unable to actually effect this endless cycle of events. It's this weird sort of divide between the game...supposedly you changed the world in your area...but the game is uneffected. It continues on. It dosen't die, it does not compute that you have completed the equation. You are powerless to secure this small area from being attacked by thief apparently but no...killing a demi god or single handedly winning a war. No problem.

I feel like I'm slowly descending into some weird version of hell. Like Satan is preparing me for the torture to come. Where I'll be forced into stimulation deprivation torture by being stuck in endless, repeating cycles of anyting on a screen or paper I can enjoy.

Five matches of Mechwarrior Online tonight. Three ended in losses (that I did fairly well in regardless) and one ended in a win where I scored a rather nice final kill. Then came match 5. Worst map with the worst mode and a bunch of idiots for teammates with poor mechs, builds, and collective brain cells. 1 minute in, an idiot's going off at someone else and I call him out. Next thing I know, back armor is gone, so I turn around and core him out in 4 hits. Team pretty much blames me (this is after the sod shot me in the back and gave me another load in the face) and now I have a bunch of unfriendly teammates staring at me while I'm open up in the back, so I awkwardly "excuse myself" and take the long way around for a flanking attack. I get there in 30 seconds and half my remaining team already collapsed. Another guy's sitting in the back similar to where I am, and he proceeds to fire at a timber wolf outside of his optimal weapon range. For context, I deal 72 damage an alpha; that's enough to core out nearly any mech from behind, and especially a timber wolf. Not so easy when a guy tickles his back armor from far away and leaves me to brawl with the timbies and half the enemy team that's turning around.

Needless to say, with a half dozen enemies on my ass, I was able to take out a side torso and scratch a few enemies, but ultimately ended up being obliterated like everyone else.

Then we have one player in a shitty adder, a light mech that's slow and doesn't carry a very strong loadout + serious heat issues. He misses basically every shot and is wiped out after running around aimlessly for about a minute.

Final score: 4-12. We took down 4, whoopee. One of the 12 was... mine. But then, I suppose it would have been the other guy's.

Long story short, poor team team, zero teamwork, a mentally deranged... thing that hopped in on the matchmaker, and all on perhaps the absolute least popular map + the mode that least compliments it. And it was a long ranged map, while I brought a brawler. I didn't bother to record or take screenshots at the time, so now I get to wonder for a while if the guy next to me is friendly or if he's ready to shoot my ass off...

Had to be my absolute worst game in the mechwarrior series... possibly ever. I can't quite remember another scenario that was so absolutely horrid. Got off a long day of nonsense, four decent matches and next thing I know the last one really shuts me down for the evening >.>

.

Everything has blurred together into this boring, grey pile of horseshit.

Food is unpleasant. I'm in constant physical pain, due to how my bones have grown. I can't look at anything without instantly pointing out its errors. It's difficult to become involved with other people, and to find positive qualities in them. Sleep is just a temporary pause from the insufferable stretch of wakefulness, and the dreams I remember only remind me of that. My mind stains entertainment by obsessively pointing out all of its gaping plot holes. Everything I want to do to help the world is either being done by people that are more capable and successful than me, or won't be possible until humanity is at a point where my efforts won't even matter. When I try to give advice that will help others with their problems, they tend to ignore it, mock it, or make weak excuses. The only person I have romantic feelings for has grown distant, and it's increasingly obvious they don't give a shit about me anymore.

So yeah, fuck my life.

Except for the pain, the rest sounds like clinical depression. Might want to talk to a doctor if you haven't already.

.

Fuck the lunar new year, especially fuck my teammates in overwatch, fuck the one player queue up, and god fucking damn my luck. I played about fifteen games today of overwatch. DIDN'T WIN A SINGLE ONE OF THEM. Three draws. No. Wins. Not even flipping close. And no this is not me playing 'that guy' I wasn't fucking Genji. Not fucking widowmaker. I was playing Mercy/Torb/Mcree/Reinhardt. If I was pushing with the last two, I was watching my moronic teammates get slaughtered like rats. Holy hell I'm salty as shit if you can't tell. So many wasted fucking chances to win. So many dumb, and plain stupid people who don't know how to use their characters. OH HEY I'M SYMMETRA RUN AWAY FROM D.VA WHILE I'M GETTING HEALED! I'M REAPER LETS LET TORB MURDER MERCY AND THEN GET KILLED AT CLOSE RANGE.

If you can't tell by now I'm not playing overwatch for awhile.

Fuck Windows 10. I didn't choose this fucking bastard it updated my laptop from Win7 one evening without my permission when I left it to reboot overnight.

FUCK WINDOWS 10.

Fuck Windows 10. I didn't choose this fucking bastard it updated my laptop from Win7 one evening without my permission when I left it to reboot overnight.

FUCK WINDOWS 10.

I came home from work one day and it had did that. I just denied being being the owner of the computer several times and it uninstalled it.

@Vilageidiotx Is this something I can try now, or was it too late once the download finished?

@Vilageidiotx Is this something I can try now, or was it too late once the download finished?

The download was finished. I think it might have even installed at least partly, but I don't recall. I just came home to a Windows10 setup screen, it asked me if I was authorized to accept the changes, and I said no. Then it asked again, and I said no, so it gave up and uninstalled.

But if you set it up, you have Windows 10. Unless it lets you roll it back, you'll have to wipe it and install whatever you had before. From scratch.

I'm just here to complain abt how annoying executive dysfunction is.

LIKE I NEED TO DO THIS, I KNOW I NEED TO, AND AS SOON AS I START TO TRY TO BRUTE FORCE MY WAY THROUGH IT, I DISASSOCIATE, MAKE TWENTY MISTAKES, AND LOSE AN HOUR.

Like brain, please can we not do this, please.

Ughhh KOTOR 2 (and in fact your predecessor KOTOR as well probably I am genuinely scared to try and load a saved game on it tomorrow for fear of the same result!!) WHY do you have to ruin such a great game and storyline by being a glitchy joke on windows 10 despite working and loading just fine for MONTHS previously until I got more into SWTOR and took a break from you

Are you sulking because I left you? Really, is that it? Because that sucks, majorly D': now I have no internet on my laptop to connect to SWTOR to play, and now no KOTOR because you've corrupted all my damn save files for no reason. Will have to uninstall and reinstall in the morning and start all over again anyway, but you kinda suck D:

Right now I'm gonna flip tables and then go to bed because this is just ridiculous. Now I have NOTHING else to do with my spare time over the weekend because I don't have any friends nearby to go and hang with, and now I don't even have video games. Somebody out there hates me and thinks my boredom and misery is very funny. :/

//rant over