Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Gonzo
Raw
Avatar of Gonzo

Gonzo Narcissist and Sarcastic Neucance

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

Oh, okay. That makes sense.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Mach2
Raw
Avatar of Mach2

Mach2 Mad Hops

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

Working on one. First posts are always the hardest....>.<
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Akayaofthemoon
Raw
Avatar of Akayaofthemoon

Akayaofthemoon

Member Seen 9 hrs ago

Yay! The first post is up and the profiles are amazing XD I should have done a more detailed one. Mach is right though, the first posts are always hard >.<
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Mach2
Raw
Avatar of Mach2

Mach2 Mad Hops

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

Got me post up. :)
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by YoshiSkittlez
Raw
GM
Avatar of YoshiSkittlez

YoshiSkittlez Roleplay Master

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

very nice first post :)
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Mach2
Raw
Avatar of Mach2

Mach2 Mad Hops

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

Thank ya!

Turns out Moon is impulsive. I never know how a character is going to be written until I actually sit down and write them. XD
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Spookyhat
Raw

Spookyhat

Member Offline since relaunch

I didn't characterize Ignrak well in my first draft, and I always suck at describing events and scenery. I'm sorry it was so short, but making it any longer required me to understand your characters so well that I could predict their movements, which is not a specialty of mine.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Mach2
Raw
Avatar of Mach2

Mach2 Mad Hops

Member Seen 6 yrs ago

It'll come with practice, Spooky. :)

I like Ignrak so far. He seems sorta like a gentle giant. XD
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Spookyhat
Raw

Spookyhat

Member Offline since relaunch

Not to be picky or anything, but Rocket's post seemed a bit rushed and didn't describe his character in any way, merely rehashing what had already been said. I would suggest you go into detail about his character for a short bit through a minor action or reaction, and then put fuckloads of compound, complex, and other sentences in there instead of having run-ons. Try and pad it with unnecessary details with a lot of separate sentences that actually mean important things.
Sorry, but as a very poor writer, I like to force my self-criticisms on others. And take all advice with a few grains of salt: personal style is something everybody should encourage.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by YoshiSkittlez
Raw
GM
Avatar of YoshiSkittlez

YoshiSkittlez Roleplay Master

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

given Ra'al's history about the Rhevarians, I smell a very love-hate relationship between the two lol
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2
Raw
Avatar of rocketrobie2

rocketrobie2 Money owns this town

Member Seen 27 days ago

Spookyhat said
Not to be picky or anything, but Rocket's post seemed a bit rushed and didn't describe his character in any way, merely rehashing what had already been said. I would suggest you go into detail about his character for a short bit through a minor action or reaction, and then put fuckloads of compound, complex, and other sentences in there instead of having run-ons. Try and pad it with unnecessary details with a lot of separate sentences that actually mean important things.Sorry, but as a very poor writer, I like to force my self-criticisms on others. And take all advice with a few grains of salt: personal style is something everybody should encourage.


I appreciate the criticism :) Sorry about that I'm not the strongest writer but I'll go back and try to make it better.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Spookyhat
Raw

Spookyhat

Member Offline since relaunch

rocketrobie2 said
I appreciate the criticism :) Sorry about that I'm not the strongest writer but I'll go back and try to make it better.


It's alright, I started out awful, but after two years of doing RPs and writing chapter-based narrative you sort of get the hang of potholes to avoid. If you need it, I can edit your posts and give feedback. That's what I do for my friends' writings.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2
Raw
Avatar of rocketrobie2

rocketrobie2 Money owns this town

Member Seen 27 days ago

Spookyhat said
It's alright, I started out awful, but after two years of doing RPs and writing chapter-based narrative you sort of get the hang of potholes to avoid. If you need it, I can edit your posts and give feedback. That's what I do for my friends' writings.


Sure I'd like that. I'm fairly new to the whole roleplaying thing.
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Spookyhat
Raw

Spookyhat

Member Offline since relaunch

rocketrobie2 said
Sure I'd like that. I'm fairly new to the whole roleplaying thing.


Awesome! Just PM me whenever you want feedback. (On whatever RP or thing you do, I'm the grammar master. Heck, I check essays.)
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2
Raw
Avatar of rocketrobie2

rocketrobie2 Money owns this town

Member Seen 27 days ago

Is this thing dieing?
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by YoshiSkittlez
Raw
GM
Avatar of YoshiSkittlez

YoshiSkittlez Roleplay Master

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

Nope, I was just giving everyone that put in a CS to post
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2
Raw
Avatar of rocketrobie2

rocketrobie2 Money owns this town

Member Seen 27 days ago

Ow ok glad this ain't dieing!
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Esailia
Raw
Avatar of Esailia

Esailia

Member Seen 26 days ago

Is that last female spot still open? I feel this story could use a rather savage anthromorphic race, almost bred for the arena...
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by YoshiSkittlez
Raw
GM
Avatar of YoshiSkittlez

YoshiSkittlez Roleplay Master

Member Seen 2 yrs ago

sure Esailla, go ahead and post a CS
Hidden 11 yrs ago Post by Esailia
Raw
Avatar of Esailia

Esailia

Member Seen 26 days ago

↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet