I ate Raddum? I didn't ask for this...

@Wade Wilson

This is your sig from now on.

Well I'm sorry friendos, but no new installment this morning. Got caught up in another [large] project.

Later.

@Wade Wilson

This is your sig from now on.

Damnit, how can I refuse such a great signature?

EDIT: Also, can there be tags for when a new installment goes up? I had no idea this thing had started.

After a night of raunchy awkwardness with Wade Wilson, the blow up sex doll has to light up a cigarette to cool off.

Broby, being in a field of idiots questions his own sanity. He might restore it if he wins.

Hegel finds a weed jacket.

And with the moon above looking like a giant titanium pizza pie, Bender and Gumshoos make sweet love beneath the stars.

Turkish Gollum settles down in a cave in the arena to find that it's an armory, filled with military-grade weaponry. Gollum takes what he can and hopes to some day carry the fight with these on to the PKK at home.

Vilage gets himself dropped from an infection while Le Mao loses to Funny Valentine. But the Chairman's life is spared by the animan and he gets to live to rule an island-not-Taiwan once again.

In the coolness of the night Jennifer Lawrence treats an infection. This captures the imagination of the watching and waiting Stronk Chin who begins to write a smutty slash fic about her self medical care. For a blind man I take it he's not doing it so much from sight but probably more from sound.

Karl Marx attempts to deploy trickery against Mahz but tricks himself and is killed by his own poison. Mahz just gets to drink a clean drink. But it's not as clean a break from life as BrokenPromise who is killed with a knife thrown to his head.



Le Mao the Island Man begins his morning with the find of the century: another hemp jacket like the on Hegel owns. It's not nearly as surprising though, but what is is the giant statue of Gollum the blowup sex doll finds in the middle of the forest.

Funny Valentine employs some Geralt-tier detective skills and concludes that he found the camp of Jennifer Lawrence, but she's no longer there and neither are her supplies so it's a find that's all for naught.

To Abradolf Lincler, Betty Crocker may have been the very pinnacle of things to be. He always strove to be as her. But in the emptiness of the arena's day and the loneliness he gets to thinker about her and he realizes that like Santa Claus she doesn't exist. He breaks down, the pressing weight of his last child-hood idol's non-existence crushing him.

Skrillex and Hegel bump into each other. The Dialectical master blushes but the two decide they'll team up.

Costanza discovers Islam in the forest, and surrendering before Allah's might he turns towards the vague idea of Mecca and prays beneath the trees. This spooks Mahz, who yells about the Spooks. But Gumshoos and Stronk Chin smoke oak leaves and get fake-high.

Killed by Jews.

I didn't ask for this.

With the sun dropping, so does the WiFi. Bender would have lit a fire, but at this moment in time the WiFi dropped and he can't access WikiHow in order to read about how to even start a fire. Frustrated, he will sleep cold.

Le Mao recieves some clean water that may or may not have been from his island.

Rick and Morty it seems is a restless spirit. Continuing their ghostly circuit through the arena they cross Funny Valentine's path. He takes it as an omen, and sees the ghosts off as Pip and Stirner partner up for the night.

Marcus and Abradolf have had quiet enough with RNG in these games and take out their anger on the spirit of RNG in these games. Working together they both take one half of Snake Eyes and drown the dice spirit in the coldest lake they can find until they stop rolling. Perhaps now with the tributes being liberated from random number generation they can actual survive these games on their own merits and not circumstance.

But what am I saying, of course not. There is no merit here!

Rick and Morty aren't exactly done with the night, and after meeting with Funny Valentine they approach Gollum and deliver him omens for the future. Whether this is a thing of terror or not is purely up to Gollum and we may never know.

The Jews though are dead. The entire Jewish population suffering fatal brain aneurysms and leaving the Isrealite state up to grab for the Palestinians. Also I suppose the Alt-Right have lost the people they love to blame for everything.



Pip begins her day confused when a tribute gives her a keyboard. Stirner having gone off into the forest when morning awoke won't be able to help the pone. Pip only has two hooves to use on the keyboard, and each hoof is the size of a melon! I suppose she does have magic, but she still needs a computer.

Hegel follows the former Pharaoh and trains a snake. He's playing with the big kids now.

Abradolf contracts an STD and dies, from what who knows. Maybe Catchamber can tell us.

Gumshoos leaves behind unmistable tracks, and the blood thirsty Broby finds them.

Skrillex found himself on the wrong side of an Anarchist's temper, so he runs. He gets away, but he suffers an injured ankle. This turns Monsieur Cheeks on, and he furiously masturbates in the nearby bushes.

Wade Wilson has to clean his hair after a night of begging to die. He finds a crystal clear river and gets to work.

Le Mao it seems just can not keep away from those islands. Being already uncontested in island conquest he again sets to the seas and invades another Not-Taiwan. At this rate, the real loser of these games will be independent island polities.

Jennifer Lawrence is sacrificed to Bender, by Bender. So it came to be. Praise be to Bender!

Stirner's ego finally breaks, and finding nothing to live for he commits suicide.

A truly terrible sight for these games would be a naked middle-aged white man. Unfortunately we get just this by way of Costanza.

Putin obtains a catch-phrase, and Arkaquiavel reprises his own.

Rick and Morty can lick lick lick my balls, they'll never get revenge.

Lewdness. Cat Snake and Arkaquivel make love under the starry night sky, and Abradolf and Putin lewdly cuddle. Mahz and Hegel have sex, but it was really a ploy by Mahz to lure Hegel close enough to kill him. Skrillex, like Wade, approaches the blow up sex doll and has awkward sex with her, as it seems to be natural.

Those who are not having sex clearly are doing other things. Gumshoos stumbles on a cave, which is the home of the Communist wizard Posadas and for the night Gumshoos is taught about why nuclear Armageddon is the only real revolutionary tool left, and how aliens will come bringing advanced technology and concepts to make achieving socialism easier. Gollum wants to die, and approaches Mao of the Two Islands, asking to be killed; Mao refuses, keeping him alive as his own joke.

In the legacy that is Broby, a fire is seen. But Broby stays hidden. Whoever's fire it is though it is not Little Pip's.

Monsieur Cheeks carves memes into the trees.



Little Pip follows Narmer and Hegel in training venomous snakes as weapons. She is now only a little better equipped to deal with the trials ahead. Though without luck so far, she hasn't killed many in a while. Valentine on the other hand manages to kill Arkaquiavel with a trap.

Broby's fire-paranoia hasn't translated into safety today. Costanza, Gollum, the sex doll, and Skrillex descend upon the eternal Champion and tear him limb from limb, and remove his intestines. A battle also ensues between Stronk Chin and Le Mao versus Marcos and Gumshoos. Using Mao's island assets the pair is able to defeat Gumshoos and the Subcommandante.

Putin is able to scare an already fragile Wade Wilson off, and he scrambles for the woods. But at least he didn't encounter the terrible sight of Abradolf in a Minion outfit.

Monsieur Cheeks meanwhile just leaves the games. This counts as a death.

Mahz approaches Bender for sex. But Bender is a God and he knows what he did with the terrifying Hegel. Bender keeps his distance and rejects him.

I'll be back! You can't get rid of me for long!

The Blow Up Sex Doll broke Wade Wilson's heart.

Well, at least Broby went down like a champ. It says something when you need 4 players to bring you down.

The Blow Up Sex Doll broke Wade Wilson's heart.

I'm still surprised at how painfully accurate all these scenarios have been. I am, indeed, fragile and scared by Putin.

As night settled on the arena, the ghost of Rick and Morty come before the Blowup Sex Doll and inform her of her future from the very threads of fate themselves. Before the pair leave, Costanza is the last to see them for the night.

Bender gets nostalgic and a mighty but non-lethal fight ensues between Cat Snake, Mahz, Little Pip, and Skrillex over Cat Snake's fire. Cat Snake wins.

Wade Wilson and Putin cross paths and for the night they reluctantly agrees to a truce.

Funny Valentine then makes room for Turkish Gollum.



The Cornucopia is refilled with some useless shit, and Bender is the first to respond to the call and steal Cat Snake's shit. Skrillez might've gone, but he's a pussy so he keeps the fuck away. Cunt.

Costanza gets an over-sized battle ax from the cornucopia. Le Mao - taking advantage of two island's worth of support and Putin having given up on the Cornucopia - declares it his property, but can not defend it; much like Putin.

Wade Wilson gets murdered by a small, talking, magical horse.

In a turn around, Gollum proves himself a god killer and using those military grade weapons he retrieved from the cave he kills Putin and Mahz in one blast. The Blow Up Sex Doll is finally popped in an unrelated incident.



Those who kill gods can not be left to live, and so Gollum is mobbed and murdered. Watching, or rather hearing the lynching take place makes Stronk Chin nauseous and he vomits in the bushes. I like to think of this as being immediately after the Feast.

With blood on her hooves Little Pip thinks about home, an Equestrian Wasteland where she might as well be swimming in it at this point.

Skrillex murders Abradolf, who was begging to actually live.

Fucking ponies.

Bender steals cat snakes memoirs... I'm pretty sure it's just an account of cat snake walking gayly through the forest, because cat snake has done that more than once.

Little Pip Starts a fire, Stronk Chin puts his out. We're nearing the end of the line and the field is thinning out. If you haven't, now may be a safe time to lay out your bets.

Funny Valentine is the first to die in the new cycle, killed by Skrillex's bow. Le Mao cuddles with Costanza. Cat Snake, forgiving Bender for his theft holds his hand as they look out to the coming day.



In a twist of trickery, Cat Snake kills Costanza. Skrillez seizes Bender's Means of Production and makes off with his entire camp. And Le Mao kills the only other Chinese person in the games.

Little Pip meanwhile makes a fashionable tropical hat.

this shit

That shit.