Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tangletail
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Very interested! I'm considering making a Cellva drafter (I normally go knight/warrior types so let's mix it up) I've just got a little question about how their charms or "spell list" works before picking my type of drafter.

It says the totemic style works with nanomachines and energy to alter their surroundings, in what way would they alter them? Like I can picture them interacting with AI and programs to navigate ruins and opening locked doors but does interacting with energy mean they can channel it to act like a more traditional "spell" as well like creating lightning or one use shields?

Edit: never mind, I just read over the character tab again and answered my own question lol now it's just a matter of picking between the two styles.


If you are looking for an image to use as a guide for plant people. Sylvari from Guild Wars sounds like the perfect fit.



Or maybe the Floran from Starbound

Buuut... they are barbarians that loves to stab things.

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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Pariah
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@Tessaract Awesome! I will get started on a CS - though I am a bit busy today so it will likely be tomorrow.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Dogematix
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If you are looking for an image to use as a guide for plant people. Sylvari from Guild Wars sounds like the perfect fit.


Thanks for the assist. I have looked at some Sylvari stuff for a picture but think I'll just go for just a written description, none of the stuff I can fins matches how I picture them in my head. Now it's just a matter of finding the time to write the sheet.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Za Warudo
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Will have my sheet up tomorrow at the latest, just refining some details and I'll be done!
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Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Tessaract
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Alright update!

Got my own GMNPC sheets up. They are in two slightly different styles and if you are still working on your sheet feel free to look at them to get some inspiration!

Now onto reviews. The first batch of reviews should come up sometime tomorrow from the look of things!
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tangletail
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Redid the history. It's less rushed now.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by boomlover
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Oi boys ill be indesposed for a week. Due too wifi reasons just a headsup is all
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Za Warudo
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All done :)

Please let me know if there's anything I should change, especially if certain terminology is thematically incorrect.


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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tessaract
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Alright time for some reviews!


First up! @Tangletail
I just have a few questions on my end but all in all everything looks pretty good!

Firstly, let me say that I appreciate the edits done to her history. Helped flesh her out a bit more and answer some previous questions I already had. I like Vin's concept as a character as well. I like how you took initiative and created your own little place in the Reclaimed World. Also it fits pretty well since if it is South of the Expanse that means it is closer to Wessmound which means its probably in the outer effective range of the wacky weather tower which might help explain those High Storms.

A couple times you refer to the Rust Sea as the Red Sea which is probably just a typo. Though, now that I think of it with all that rust that Rust Sea is probably pretty red. But just for clarity's sake you probably wanna fix those!

Second question is about the Hardlight Modeling particularity how she uses it to communicate. Does she use it to create letters or is it more basic just flashes of color or symbols that somebody close to her like Whitepaw would be able to understand.

Which leads to my final questions which actually goes for @vietmyke as well. How long did the two actually travel together?

But beside that everything else looks good!


Next up @FoxFire!

Let me see that your concept is certainly original and piques my interest, but I do have some questions.

First about our mysterious witch. What was she like? Did Naarrah have a good relationship with her? Did the Witch even look like Naarrah or was she another species in its entirety? What did the Witch teach Naarrah as one of the chosen ones as it were.

Next how old was Naarrah when the witch died? Because that kinda changes the context of this whole thing. And who else was there that forced her into the bed to get the mysterious Witch fluids.

Also you say that "She would wake up a week later to a tribe that revered her." Which tribe was that exactly? Her own tribe because you said that the Witch wasn't a member of her tribe. Speaking of the tribe since they revered the Witch how was the parting when Naarrah left? Did they let her go easily, did she have to sneak away? Cause people don't really just like letting their divine protection go on adventures and voluntarily go become Lost you know.

Also The self-healing I know she doesn't know the extent of its abilities. But for my own sake if say a limb gets cut off does it just seal the wound, so she doesn't bleed out or does it actually regenerate the arm or leg over time. Is there also a stress limit where if she gets hurt in multiple places at once, the healing factor will only be able to work on some of the wounds or does it work on all of them at a less effective pace?

All in all though, you have a very solid concept but I just don't think its fully realized yet. Basically I want a more fleshed out history , since I forgo a personality section (because in my own experience character personality's are something that happens over time not in an instant) the history is our only real window into Naarrah as a character and at the moment its the most lacking part of your sheet. But its nothing that you can't fix!


@vietmyke
He's Rocket Raccoon. Except a rabbit. I'll admit that initially had me worried because I'm not the biggest fan of copy and paste jobs. But let us just say that I was presently surprise! I do have a few questions though.

With Irving leaving the Guerrillas in both real-life and the Reclaimed World. Guerrilla movements don't look particularity kind on people just upping and leaving their organisation. As those with loose lips may accidentally spill their locations or plans to their enemy. And since Irving already had disagreements with the leadership in the past you'd think they wouldn't trust all that much. So did they just let him leave and if so why? Did he sneak away, or did he have to fight his way out?

Another question Artificing generally isn't something that you just pick up. Yeah, messing around you can learn to understand the basics but traditionally an artificer will learn the more complicated matters from somebody more experienced. Did Irving learn his skills from somebody in particular, or was it just something he's slowly picked up by himself over the years?

Also why the Vigil? I know the normal answer is because the plot said so. But why put his work in with a bunch of soldiers who had their start killing his people during the Ukanuq Wars. With his skills, he could of probably gotten a job anywhere. I mean it could honestly be that they just paid the most (which they probably do), I'm just curious is all!

Also the question I asked previously about how long he and Vin has been traveling together still stands!


Last but not least for now @Za Warudo!

Let me start off by saying I really like Ed! You managed to give our young gunslinger a lot of personality through what you've conveyed! I also like how you manged to expand and give a little more life on expanding Plent, based upon my two meager little paragraphs for it!

I do have a few questions though!

The first of these questions may sound odd but what do imagine her great, great grandfather did for a living? Because a laser revolver isn't just something you buy at the market, hell the riders probably don't have many of those. That's more something an adventure would have maybe stories of him helped inspire her to go on her own adventures?

The second is how long has she been with the Vigil now. At the most I'd imagine about a year but it could be anywhere from a couple of months to a couple of weeks. Help give us a picture of how new she is at this whole being a rough and tumble mercenary type.

Beside that everything looks good on my end!

Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Tangletail
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@Tessaract Ah, I'll go ahead and get those errors fixed.

Assuming that the two species have their own languages. She'll be mostly using flashes of colors, images, and symbols that someone like Whitepaw would understand, or someone clever enough to decipher them. Think Rainworld, or Hyper Light Drifter if you have played the games.

Her grasp on the written Human language, which may be the common, would be pittiful at best. That is to say she struggles with it. If she does uses Human words, It's because her usual communication attempts have failed. And when she does, it won't be a sentence persay, but a little word brain teasers. She's kinda unable to form coherent sentences on his own, but he understands the concept of a number of the verbs, adjectives, and nouns. But format of the language is what kills her.

Like say to describe her blade while projecting actual words. She'd use the word Sharp, Veil, Life, and Death.

The image created would be "Sharp" going through the horizontal center of "Veil" and splitting it apart. Above the word "veil" would be "Life", and below Veil would be "Death".

When solved, it is "Sharp enough to cut through the veil between life and death."

As for how long Whitepaw and Kastral had traveled together, likely 2-3 years. But @vietmyke gets the final say on that.

For the piece of the new world. There was a few bits of inspiration I took from some post apocalyptic worlds in other stories. But, I did take some time to figure out where a proper location for it would be. It would either be near a costal area, or near a location that had a device controlling the weather.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Za Warudo
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@Tessaract

Thanks!

Regarding Ed's grandfather, he would have been an adventurer, yes. Calador is actually a character being written up by Dogematix, who will go into more depth about his relationship to the swift family before Ed.

In terms of how long she's been with the Vigil, let's say she's just gotten through induction, and did a good job of it too, with her previous Rider training and all, and this is her first time in the field.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by vietmyke
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@Tessaract

Irving probably would've waited for an opportunity to sneak away- either a mission gone wrong, or just stealthing away from the guerrillas. He wouldn't be the type to smash his way out.

Also, it's less 'Artificing' and more tinkering, but artificing sounded cooler. It's something his original krewe had showed him and that he had honed over the years. The ability to build bombs would also come in handy while he worked with the guerillas. The ability to build his own weapon as well as Vin's hardlight stuff was a like a culmination of all of his efforts- and probably some advice from someone who actually knew what they were doing.

He probably just joined the vigil because they paid him the most, honestly. And for how long he and Vin have been traveling together, I had thought we agreed on something like 4ish-going-on-5 years.

The rocket racoon thing is more a reference to his personality type, his background and story is all his own. No copy pastas because I'm allergic to fake carbs.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Tangletail
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@Tessaract 4-5 years it is then. I'll probably take some time to add a small amount to detail her personality soon, as other applications have something like it built in. One thought was for her to be a bit cat like. Nosey, curious, somewhat friendly, a little whimsical, has a surprising amount of wisdom. Then contrasted with hints of sadism, thrill of a hunt or chase, when it comes to combat.

I would go with Hawk or Eagle like... but they tend to be complete assholes, even when loyal. And we already got a Rocket Raccoon for that.

@vietmyke Mmm I can see the reasons for him by his personality being pay is more reliable (Unlikely to get a high burst pay, or a low pay. And you know you are going to get paid instead of a shiv in the kidney). The access to cheaper supplies that krews tend to benefit from. A secure roof over your head, assuming guild halls are a thing. And a better mortality rate than an average lone scavenger, or a duo. And High Risk jobs normally have high rewards.

TLDR: Reliable Pay that averages to more. Risk is equal to reward. Slightly less chance of dying. A homestead you're not paying for. Cheaper access to junk to tinker with.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Tangletail
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Oh wow... turns out the age of adulthood is actually mathematically lower than 12.

If we consider 18 to be the adulthood (Modern Age of Consent, and full rights become active in the US court of law) age of humans with an average life expectancy of 85. Than the Ukanuq's actually reach adulthood at the age of 10. Holy crap, talk about growing up fast. Unless they have experience a different biological function, where their aging process ramps, and dampens at certain points.

Probably meaning that Vin had set out on her journey at the age of 8 or 9 nearing 10, and Whitepaw had been put to work around the age of 4-6

... makes you really see how short their lives are o.o
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Za Warudo
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Oh wow... turns out the age of adulthood is actually mathematically lower than 12.

If we consider 18 to be the adulthood (Modern Age of Consent, and full rights become active in the US court of law) age of humans with an average life expectancy of 85. Than the Ukanuq's actually reach adulthood at the age of 10. Holy crap, talk about growing up fast. Unless they have experience a different biological function, where their aging process ramps, and dampens at certain points.

Probably meaning that Vin had set out on her journey at the age of 8 or 9 nearing 10, and Whitepaw had been put to work around the age of 4-6

... makes you really see how short their lives are o.o


Should have interesting conversation with human and cellva characters. Get some real deep mortality existential shit going XD
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Tangletail
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@Tessaract

<Snipped quote by Tangletail>

Should have interesting conversation with human and cellva characters. Get some real deep mortality existential shit going XD


Or not. Probably be something like.

"My life span is too short, and my time is too precious to worry about something as definite as that."

Which goes back to why Vin chose her current life. Even though it's a lonely one initially, it gives her a chance to do something she loves with her small amount of time on the world, like how her mother enjoys the thrill of the hunt so much, that she makes a show out of it with the hunting grounds being her stage.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tessaract
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@Tangletail@vietmyke@Za Warudo


Alright then! Feel free to move you sheets over to the Character Tab at your leisure!
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Za Warudo
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Alright then! Feel free to move you sheets over to the Character Tab at your leisure!



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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tangletail
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Roger Roger, though I have a question.

@Tessaract What sort of relationship does Pryiet keep with his subordinates? Assuming he's the CO of this branch of the operation.

@Za Warudo Annnd how new is Ed? I recalled you saying something like she had just recently joined? Trying to figure out how used to Ed's antics Vin may be.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tessaract
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@Tangletail
Oh! Pryiet isn't actually the CO, he's just the doctor. Man has a strict aversion to leadership positions of any sort. Doesn't stop him from acting like the daddiest dad to have ever dad in the history of dads, though.

You'll meet Captain Rika soon enough. Though to give you a general idea of her in very broad strokes - Human clank with a pretty sweet/scary robot arm who is here to kick ass and chew bubblegum as it were and she's all out of bubblegum.

In general separation between officers and your standard rank and file isn't really that much of a thing as it is in some professional armies. Everybody sorta just interacts with everybody. Kinda helps that the Vigil in its structure is democratic in function, so when important things happen like accepting a job or promoting somebod the entire chapter has to vote on it. Kinda like how pirate crews used to work.
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