It seems Prince has spoken.
Looks like you've more work to do, Ouroboros.
Looks like you've more work to do, Ouroboros.
Salroka Antivan Crow
Member
Seen
2 yrs ago
Prince said
Slow down just a wee moment. I literally jumped Innue, a Chuunin from the genius Nara clan, for having the ability to offensively use Chakra Scalpel even a , much less a genin with little combat/surgical experience with it. Even if it's just a small scrape, a genin using it in that context is a) unfair considering the bar for the jutsu and medical jutsu in general that I have set for the roleplay b) a testament to chakra control that no genin-level shinobi should just outright have, especially without experience.Aside from that,. I find the fact she can gain empathatic abilities from touching objects slightly absurd without the mention of physical chakra. I won't entirely say it's impossible, especially given realm of creativity, but I would like a mechanic of "chakra adaptation" to be applied, in which the Kekkei Genkai makes her chakra physically adapt to whatever chakra she "empathizes" with. If she's taking on the qualities of steel, she should be doing so because she has attached herself to said material and currently can form her own chakra to its, considering basically every material object has a physical chakra to it. In that sense, the jutsu is better understood, there is a mechanic behind it, and it can be dealt with by someone with similar sensory abilities, or merely Byakugan, Sharingan or Mind's Eye of Kagura. I believe you actually began along this thought, but I want it fleshed out more.Another thing I want fleshed out more is the person-to-person assimilation. I want to know the exact potential of this.Lastly, there is a mechanic here that has already existed within this specific continuum revolving around the... transmission of memories and skills through an object. In short, it could create someone just as if not more powerful than Sai, and for that fact was destroyed. i don't want something like that again, and I don't specifically like the idea of anyone getting the information and 'memory' of an object, considering there are items such as Shira or Kirugetsu's swords that could synergize so well with the ability that it could grow exponentially broken. If anything, I would push for the omission of this ability entirely due to its potential and difficulty to maintain.Overall, I like the concept. I find it interesting, deep and refreshing, but there are certain aspects that I can see being used as functional conduits for more potential than even Shira, whom previously was the most controversial character accepted.
Understood! Clarification is always necessary, and I had no problem fleshing out certain techniques to give you a better understanding of the Kekkei Genkai. I edited chakra scalpel, it will certainly have to be acquired through intensive IC training.
As for the assimilation of memories, I've added more to how the ability works and the limitations surrounding it. I've also defined the limitations surrounding it, and its effects on objects/persons, how it works, etc. If absolutely necessary, I will remove it, however I don't intend to use it for broken purposes but it is a trait of the Akizakura I find interesting and would like to test within obvious creative limitations.
GM
For example, when the wielder of this unique trait touches a sword, they will gain the knowledge of all who have wielded the sword, and knowledge of all battles that sword has taken part in, and the events leading to how the sword is where it is now.
I personally don't find anything aside from this line a problem, but the problem it presents is... well, I dislike it greatly. I do have a suggestion. I know you have your Null Void blade, and I firmly understand that is the true purpose of the ability. Let's say we put a limit onto the trait that allows the user to gain the knowledge of "all those who have wielded the sword" to "all those with Jubin no Shindo who have wielded the sword" so that she gets the benefits from her Null Void blade or personal, familial artifacts, but can't just pick up a Warbringer Sword and learn about every battle from every user. A secondary edition to this would be "knowledge of all battles that sword has taken place in"; I don't mind that ability at all, if they're made into premonitions. She can study the past using the ability all she wants, but I don't want her instantly learning 'everything' about a centuries old item, and be able to use it. I would also add a function of difficulty for longer-ranging memories, e.g. memories from the Second Great Shinobi War would be easier to recall than memories from the First, and so on.
Do those editions sound reasonable to you, Ouroboros?
Infinitely reasonable, Prince-taichou! I should clarify that she would not gain the actual knowledge of those who have wielded the item, but only their identities and such facts as how long a single entity possessed the item, meaning she would not know the personal knowledge of any of the wielders, merely seen their experiences with the item in question. As with her ability to connect with people in this way, I will amend this to extend to objects as well, so she would then have to spend copious amounts of time delving into the memory of the object to grasp the full length of experience it has stored within it, coinciding with your wish for it to be harder to obtain deeper, long-lost memories.
Tuujaimaa The Saint of Wings
Member
Seen
1 day ago
If you're placed on the team with Shira, I'm sure we can do lots of fun stuff in that regard! c:
Nice character overall, but I do feel they're a bit too young being... 12, I think it was? I'd bump the age up a bit personally. c:
Nice character overall, but I do feel they're a bit too young being... 12, I think it was? I'd bump the age up a bit personally. c:
Tuujaimaa said
If you're placed on the team with Shira, I'm sure we can do lots of fun stuff in that regard! c:Nice character overall, but I do feel they're a bit too young being... 12, I think it was? I'd bump the age up a bit personally. c:
Aahhh yes! After reading your CS I see many possibilities to be explored n_n however I enjoy her age at twelve, it's a very developmental age.
GM
I have created a Jounin of similar, if not a bit under, the power of one Kirugetsu. If need be I will also use him. However, for now, I will allow all of those involved with this roleplay to openly (and respectfully) make critique and state opinions regarding the character. I will tell you that from beginning to end, I only spent 42 minutes creating him - from scratch. So, let's see what you all think about a character created by your Head GM, hm?
Durnehviir
Member
Seen
5 yrs ago
I have an NPC that I can submit for grading.
If the Ok is offered I'll toss her in as the Division Head for Division B.
Name: Kishira Uzumaki
Age|Gender: 26 I Female
Alliance: Konohagakure
Rank: Fuinjutsu Specialist, Logistic Director
Clan: Uzumaki
Kekkei Genkai: N/A
Traits:
Appearance:
History: Kishira is not a ninja. She has never been a ninja. Her entire life was dedicated to the Uzumaki clan and, although young, she did witness a great deal of pain and suffering that was the result of Sai’s tyrannical reign. She was one of the more prominent members of the clan, holding probably the greatest capacity for their clan’s techniques.
Despite her lack of ninja training she has a great deal of training and experience in wielding her clan’s techniques and does have formal training in the useage of her chakra. She was trained to manipulate and call upon her chakra that made her an excellent suppressor agent. Despite the nature of her techniques, that wasn’t their original intended uses. She was merely tapping into the old traditions and old styles of her family and wound up with techniques that serve to bind, restrict, or interconnect individuals.
Through the years she found herself in a place of power within the ninja infrastructure, despite not being a ninja herself. Even though she was not primarily a fighter or a killer, she held a great deal of skill in terms of management and knew enough about chakra that she was a significant aid to all of Konoha. She worked her way up, starting at the bottom as a aid of an aide, and was promoted to a Division Director and in charge over hundreds of different sort of ninja.
Currently she acts as an advisor, teacher, and sealing specialist for when the situation requires it, however she also possesses skill in Mind Reading, Communication relaying and other support and logistical abilities.
Personality:
Combat Style: Although strong and fit, she isn’t trained to fight in hand to hand. If ever a time rises when she absolutely must fight she is mostly completely ninjutsu and fuinjutsu relyant and, fortunately, she is versatile enough that she can proficiently utilize them in any combat situation. Even though she is a manager over ninja and not an experienced killer she possess undeniable power befitting of one that rules over an entire Division. All assassinations on her life have ended with a powerful, reflexive ninjutsu thrown at the target.
Nature Release: Wind
Jutsu List:
Weaponry: None
Miscellaneous:
If the Ok is offered I'll toss her in as the Division Head for Division B.
Name: Kishira Uzumaki
Age|Gender: 26 I Female
Alliance: Konohagakure
Rank: Fuinjutsu Specialist, Logistic Director
Clan: Uzumaki
Kekkei Genkai: N/A
Traits:
- Super Strength - Kishira has extraordinary strength at her disposal. Even without chakra enhancement she holds strength comparable to some of the strongest, well toned, athletic men out there. She naturally has great strength, endurance, and fights almost instinctively well. She can punch a small crater into bark or crack cement with a bare fisted punch and she can certainly break the bones of anyone without some of the toughest bodies. She can lift 2.5x her weight and can sprint ninja speed as well. She’s a strong girl and she’s done hardly any actual training to achieve such.
- Specialized Chakra - Kishira has a very unique chakra type. It stands out beside chakra of others. Her chakra is powerful, potent and in a vast supply. On top of having specialized chakra she also has an enormous chakra capacity. Her unique chakra allows her access to special, clan specific techniques such as the most advanced sealing ninjutsu.
- Large Chakra Capacity - Kishira has more chakra than 3 men do combined. Her enormous quantities of chakra could allow her to perform techniques a lot longer or to present them at a heightened, more devastating level than normal. She can use even low level techniques and greatly enhance their destructive or supplementary prowess by using enormous quantities of chakra.
- Acute Sensitivity - Kishira is very sensitive to chakra. Being a sensor type, she holds almost a natural connection with the surrounding area and can more easily sense chakra around her, even the most subtle of chakra expenditures. This allows her to know kekkaijutsu, fuinjutsu, genjutsu and see through concealing ninjutsu quite easily. Only the most advanced of techniques cast by the most adept of users can escape her perceptive senses.
Appearance:
History: Kishira is not a ninja. She has never been a ninja. Her entire life was dedicated to the Uzumaki clan and, although young, she did witness a great deal of pain and suffering that was the result of Sai’s tyrannical reign. She was one of the more prominent members of the clan, holding probably the greatest capacity for their clan’s techniques.
Despite her lack of ninja training she has a great deal of training and experience in wielding her clan’s techniques and does have formal training in the useage of her chakra. She was trained to manipulate and call upon her chakra that made her an excellent suppressor agent. Despite the nature of her techniques, that wasn’t their original intended uses. She was merely tapping into the old traditions and old styles of her family and wound up with techniques that serve to bind, restrict, or interconnect individuals.
Through the years she found herself in a place of power within the ninja infrastructure, despite not being a ninja herself. Even though she was not primarily a fighter or a killer, she held a great deal of skill in terms of management and knew enough about chakra that she was a significant aid to all of Konoha. She worked her way up, starting at the bottom as a aid of an aide, and was promoted to a Division Director and in charge over hundreds of different sort of ninja.
Currently she acts as an advisor, teacher, and sealing specialist for when the situation requires it, however she also possesses skill in Mind Reading, Communication relaying and other support and logistical abilities.
Personality:
Combat Style: Although strong and fit, she isn’t trained to fight in hand to hand. If ever a time rises when she absolutely must fight she is mostly completely ninjutsu and fuinjutsu relyant and, fortunately, she is versatile enough that she can proficiently utilize them in any combat situation. Even though she is a manager over ninja and not an experienced killer she possess undeniable power befitting of one that rules over an entire Division. All assassinations on her life have ended with a powerful, reflexive ninjutsu thrown at the target.
Nature Release: Wind
Jutsu List:
Weaponry: None
Miscellaneous:
I don't know if I somehow skipped over it but I was wondering the stance on multiple characters.
I kinda have an idea for a second character but I'm not sure I want to make it right away. So I was wondering for future reference. :3
I kinda have an idea for a second character but I'm not sure I want to make it right away. So I was wondering for future reference. :3
GM
If you can remain active with two characters, go for it.
Okay. Is it okay if I send you my character idea? I kinda want to know if my idea is okay before writing out the history.
Salroka Antivan Crow
Member
Seen
2 yrs ago
Feel free to send character concepts to any GM, or submit it here as a work-in-progress for GM review.
bigscreech
Member
Seen
5 yrs ago
Is this closed or is it still accepting?
Salroka Antivan Crow
Member
Seen
2 yrs ago
bigscreech said
Is this closed or is it still accepting?
We are still accepting players. Recently we have restructured due to several inactive players, and are happy to see new faces.
bigscreech
Member
Seen
5 yrs ago
Do I have to create a character with his own keki and clan or am I stuck
with having to join the already existing clans?
with having to join the already existing clans?
Salroka Antivan Crow
Member
Seen
2 yrs ago
This is an alternate-universe RP. You may create whatever you like in regard to custom KGs or Clans. However they will be reviewed by the GM or Co-GMs.
My advice: Feel free to be creative, but don't go too crazy.
My advice: Feel free to be creative, but don't go too crazy.
bigscreech
Member
Seen
5 yrs ago
Okay I'll whip something up later on tonight:3
bigscreech
Member
Seen
5 yrs ago
Name Isao Kiriyama
Age: 14
Gender: Male
Alliance: Konohagakure
Rank: Genin
Clan: Kiriyama
Kekkei Genkai: Doku Shu (poison) The Kiriyama clan possesses an organ that long replaced the appendix that allows them to biologically produce their own venom. The most basic use of this is to generate their own venom that they can either secrete from their sweat or salivary glands. Eventually a practitioner of this will be able to create their own poison gas with most basic of it causing the same effects as tear gas. It alsoe gives him some immunity to poisons most prevalent is the poison mist technique.
Traits: Isao possesses an uncanny talent for improvisation in combat as it was one this was one of the tools that allowed him to survive the battle of Amegakure. He possess moderate pysical strength and is incredibly dexterous. He also is quite adapt in tajutsu, weapons use, and makes the most of his kekigenkai. As a fighter he is incredibly dirty and will do pretty much anything to tip the scales into his favor as all is fair in love and war.
Appearance:
History:
Isao’s family formerly hailed from the once mighty village of Iwagakure before being displaced by the terror of Sai the Conqueror. This quickly brought on a life on the run from their persecutors. During this time the clan’s ranks were thinned immensely causing Isao to lose both his elder brother and mother to the tyranny of Sai. With his childhood nonexistent his father bitterly drilled him in the shinobi art so that he could defend himself and carry on the legacy of the Kiriyama clan if he was to fall.
Even though Isao was a young boy his father drilled in him in very draconian ways as the former successor to the clan perished in a skirmish protecting his little brother. Yukio was always the apple of his father’s eye and caused him to take out his grief on Isao. He often blamed him for the loss of his brother often saying it should have been him instead and would vent his frustration upon Isao. This release of frustration was both physically and mentally exhausting leaving scars all over his back. This caused Isao to often loath the life he was born into at first wondering what it was like to be a normal kid. He often withdrew from the rest of his family often spending a majority of his gazing up at the stars.
Even though he loathed the situation he was born into he thought it was best to make the best of it as if he excelled in his father’s training then the beatings would stop and his father may yet show him the affection that he showered upon his brother. He also sought to prove to his father wrong and prove to himself that his brother’s sacrifice wasn’t in vain. With this motivation Isao quickly became proficient in weapons and taijutsu. His work with ninjutsu was average and he saw it as nothing more to compliment his weapon and taijutsu skill.
As he progressed the lashings stopped and his father finally began to see him in a new light and not the liability he once thought. Around this time his clan joined up with the resistance and took part in the final confrontation in Amegakure. Isao himself partook in the battle by being in one of the many waves of cannon fodder genin. He did his duty and did what was needed to be done in order to win agaist whicheve opponent presnted themselves to him. At first things seemed to be looking good for this fodder as they were gaining some ground. Things however began to take a turn for the worst the worst and the genin were being slaughtered. Isao knowing he could't win feinted his death and hid beneath the boddies of several dismembered genin. After an hour passed and 3 Amagaure genin came upon the field. They were on clean up duty and began to stab at the lifeless genin bodies to ensure none of them were alive. Isao knowing he couldn't defeat them all jerry rigged his kunai pouch with his last paper bomb and coat the kunai in his venom. When they got closer he started to let out a cry for help. The 3 genin immediatly went over to the noise and saw that it was an enemy. Isao playing the part of a helpless injured genin begged for help. The three genin quickly scoffed at his pleas and began to jeer at him calling him pathetic. They then began to discuss all the ways that they were going to make him suffer an agonizing death. Isao in turn tossed up his make shift bomb and detonated sending shards poisonous shrap metal into the flesh of his enemies. Isao shielded himself from the blast by using one of his fallen commrades as meat shield. Once the smoke had cleared he found one of his enemies dead and the other two writhing in pain. Instictively he went over to one and slit his throat with the sickled end of his kusarigama. The other one was starting to feel the effects of the poison and her body began to violently convulse. Isao just left her there to her fate as she would soon be dead granted it would be quite painful. He took on more look onto the battlefield before retreating back to safer territory. Once he arrived back to the war camp he found out the battle had been won. Isao was filled joy and hoped he would return to what was left of his homeland. Even though he was very young and the thought of being able finally settle down in one place made him ecstatic. His father however still locked in a deep depression had another thing in mind and sought to start a new in a new land. Far away from the place that reminded him of what he had lost. Thus his father relocated them to the newly rebuilt village of Konohagakure far away from the mountainous region they once called home. Isao not having much of say in the matter went along with it as he would finally have a place that he could call home.
He was then enrolled in the local shinobi academy. Even though most of things the academy that was taught to him were already ingrained in him due to his father’s harsh training. He was just excited at the fact that he was going to get to interact with others his age. He eventually graduated from the academy with flying colors but often got in trouble for his methods in friendly spars often sending his opponent to the infirmary. This coupled with his tendency to poison some his classmates got him labeled as a troublemaker and led to most of his peers loathing the idea of having him as a potential teammate.
Personality: Isao is a confident in himself, in his abilities and in his appearance. It is almost to the point of it being border line narcissism. He is personable in his own odd quirky way often being the first to strike up conversation even if it is uncomfortable for the other party. He has the habit of playfully joking with his teammates and often will poison them for the fun of it. He will of course cure them in due time depending on his relationship with them. Isao is very patient and often analyzing his opponent’s strengths. Often launching halfhearted attacks to see how they react and lulling them into a false sense of superiority. Once he sees how they react against them he will determine his best course of action and exploit whatever weakness they may have. When he knows that he is fighting an opponent who is weaker than him however he will often toy with them before delivering the coup de gras. To him their just wouldn’t be any fun in ending it premature. This was a bad habit he picked up in his youth as being a child soldier led one to finding other ways of amusement then those born with a silver spoon in their mouth. One aspect that doesn’t change when he fights is that he will often antagonize the person he is going against regardless of their strength. He dislikes the prideful and those who overly emphasize honor. To him what is the point of having honor if it leads to your ultimate demise. The idea of live to fight another day is permanently ingrained into his head after the battle in Amegakure.He often keeps people at an arm’s length and as he is afraid to let anybody get close to him. This out of the fear that if they were to perish, the burden on his tattered soul would be more then he could bare.
Combat Style Kusarigamajutsu combined with the Strong Fist
Nature Release: Earth
Jutsu List
http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Haze_Clone_Technique
http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Body_Flicker_Technique
http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Earth_Release:_Double_Suicide_Decapitation_Technique
Non Learned Yet
http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Earth_Release:_Hiding_in_Rock_Technique
http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Earth_Release:_Hiding_Like_a_Mole_Technique
http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Earth_Release:_Underground_Projection_Fish_Technique
Name of Technique: Purple Haze
Type of Jutsu: Offensive
Rank: C
Range: Short to medium
Nature Type: N/A
Description: One of the more basic techniques of the Kiriyama clan that creates a tear gas like haze that engulfs the opponent and allows for the practitioner to attack seemingly unseen when put into effect.
Weakness: If the user has a wind affinity it can be simply blown away with any type of wind technique.
Weaponry: Kusaigama, 5 kunai, 10 shuriken and 5 paperbombs.
If I need to change anything let me know and I look forward to roleplaying with you guys!
GM
The character is easily acceptable, and I'd put him in the top five. Meaning give him a Registration Number lower than 000006.
Secondly, this is more of a request and suggestion:
Secondly, this is more of a request and suggestion:
If he was to be anywhere near the front lines of the final confrontation in Amegakure, the fact he is alive most likely means he is only alive due to a) Sai overlooking killing him B) not seeing a lot of action or C) getting hurt during the battle, but surviving a midst piles of the dead. Genin like him were used as simple fodder, and that's something I feel could fit quite well into the character.If he's egotistical, let him have linings or ingrained memories of being surrounded by people of similar skill who were slaughtered. The act of a false-sense of self-esteem beside an ego such as his are normally complimentary attributes that work well to give a character depth, and some badass battle-scars. Chances are, he's nearly-chuunin level.
bigscreech
Member
Seen
5 yrs ago
Thanks Prince, those are great suggestions that I'll implement into my character. I also have a request as well, it is in regards to my kekigenkai and about his backstory. Well this I omitted because I didn't know if it would fly but do to ability to biologically produce poison it also gives him natural immunity from other poisons. The other is since I was reading you guys were scrapping division B due to a training accident gone wrong. I was wondering if my character could have been in one of these divisions who accidently killed one of his teammates and horrifically maimed the other. Since my characters is late to the party it would be a convinient reason for putting him on one of the other teams. It also gives the senseis a gifted problem child to try and guide.
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