Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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Letter Bee Filipino RPer

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Dawn of The Coming Storm - The Reimagining

I. Intro




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Note; this RP was originally made by Flamelord (as Dawn of a New Age), but he gave me permission as long as no one, and I repeat no one @mentions him.

II. Magic











III. What if I don't want to play a Mage?





IV. Rules



V. Character Sheet Skeleton

Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Senhara
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Senhara No Thoughts, Head Empty / (she/they)

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Name: Akyna Vektor

Age: 25

Physical Description: Yea I sorta don't have an image. >.> Akyna is a tall female, she has green eyes and dark brown hair. She has a noticeable scar on her forehead. She is almost 6 feet tall. She stands alert, not slouching. She also wears a pitch black shirt and pants.

Important items: Her katana, she never uses it however. The reason is that it's a heirloom, and she does not want to dirty the blade.

Short Bio: Akyna Vektor is someone who sticks to herself and is quiet at times, though she is not afraid to lend a hand to help. She generally ignores people until they tap her shoulder or they raise their voice. She gets angry at people when they make foolish mistakes. Her anger fades out after a few seconds though. She knows how to play the violin. Her favorite song is Sanctus Dominus by Powerwolf. She likes things that go well. Also likes small creatures. She dislikes people who destroy things for no good reason, she dislikes people who ask very personal questions. After she read a Malakim Record she went into hiding, as she did not want to be outcasted from the small portion of society she is in. The Malakim Record made her tougher and confused. She learned how to play the violin from her family, as it's tradition. She ignores people sometimes because she doesn't believe in most people's confidence to help someone else.

She comes from the Vektor family. Not very well known due to them staying only with each other. She comes from New England. She is also a very nomadic person, liking travel. Her heritage comes from all over the world. Germany, Poland and Canada to name a few. She prefers staying out of direct conflict, as she believes watching and affecting small bits to influence the battle is key to victory. She also tends to relate certain things to things she has heard. She likes it when other people are in charge, as being in charge stresses her out.

Spell List:
High Spell: Spectral Wolf: A spell designed to counter other spells, specifically stronger mind spells and change spells, a small magic wolf appears then snatches the spell and vanishes.

High Spell: Attack Wolf: A magic wolf that is a construct of Mana appears that attacks the intended target.

High Spell: Defense Shield: Concentrated Mana that forms a shield and can be placed in front of the caster or an ally, absorbing attacks, however it vanishes if attacked too much. Small attacks are however absorbed if known to the caster or whoever it's protecting and forms useable Mana.

Mind Spell: Mental Assault: A spell that if it works causes quick jabs of sharp mental interference. Making a complex spell almost impossible to cast.

Mind Spell: Mental Shroud: A defensive spell that can be casted to the caster or ally, Slowing progress of mental attacks or almost negating them entirely.

Change Spell: Heal: A basic spell that can heal wounds on the caster or ally, though works better the closer the intended target is.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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@Senhara, The CS is too short.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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@Senhara, Better now.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Eklispe
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Eklispe SSP

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@Senhara

For physical description a general list of things to think of when writing is something like this. Height, weight, skin color, hair/eye color, noteable feature of their face like scars or perhaps being very pretty or just average. Also how someone might think of them at first glance. Do they slouch? Stand confidently? Look around with shifty eyes or examine everything carefully? Perhaps the general clothing they wear. This should help flesh that section out.

I would describe why the Katana is important to her. Is it a heirloom? Why doesn't she use it? Is it fragile, magic, perhaps the original holder was a pacifist? Giving this some meaning would help us understand her character some more.

Your backstory could be improved rather easily as well. All character that are mages have found and read a Malakim Record, at least describing this specific instance and how/where/why it happened would help. What happened after she gained magic? Did her personality change? Did she run and hide, try to make a difference with her new powers, become a hero of sorts? Are there any other key events in her life that shaped her into who she is today? Why does she usually ignore people is willing to lend a hand. Why does she know how to play the violin? Was it part of her families tradition? Perhaps her parents gave her a certain morality, encouraged a certain way of thinking, or she saw something that caused her to commit to a certain cause. All things that can help develop your character.

These are mostly fine, specify what magic Spectral Wolf counters though. You can't counter high magic without having 6 high magic spells so with your list it is limited to Mind Spells or Change Spells, though you already have a counter mind spell. I like the idea behind them.

I hope you won't think this review is too harsh, your character is by no means terrible, these are just a few things that can help them become more developed, easier to interact with and roleplay for. The list may seem long but it's really just a bunch of rather minor things.

-Co-GM Eklispe
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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@Senhara, I agree with @Eklispe.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Senhara
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Senhara No Thoughts, Head Empty / (she/they)

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@Eklispe I'll look into it, I made the post while half asleep. Hopefully the morning will help me.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Eklispe
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Eklispe SSP

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No problem, looking forward to seeing your updated character ^.^
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Senhara
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Senhara No Thoughts, Head Empty / (she/they)

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Already updated! I type fast. @Eklispe
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Eklispe
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Hm, the revisions were... a little word for word, I was hoping to give a general feel that you could expand on but you're not wrong. As it is I think it's acceptable.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Keksalot
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Keksalot

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@Letter Bee
Highly interested. Would you allow me to use the old character I had in the previous game?
Apollo-Bastian Lewis Bellet one, with some changes to make him a better and more reliable G-Man.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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@Letter Bee
Highly interested. Would you allow me to use the old character I had in the previous game?
Apollo-Bastian Lewis Bellet one.


I might. But if I were to allow it, he won't be an antagonist this time.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Senhara
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Senhara No Thoughts, Head Empty / (she/they)

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@Eklispe Yeah I am sorta bad at bios. Heh. I'd be happy to talk with you over Discord about how I can improve
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Kafka Komedy
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Kafka Komedy Bearer of The Curse

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Not sure where this takes place so I didn't mention any location. Also, I assume the Government would give Lukas' cult official religion status and exempt his 'church' (he doesn't have one but likes to hold sermons around the city) from taxes right?

Also if anyone wants to be a follower of Templarism feel free.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Redward
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Redward Merry

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Here I am! Looking forward to this!

I'm not sure if I am expected to provide a CS, right now. If I am, I will have it posted up with haste. Thanks for having me, @Letter Bee. I have a concept in mind, but it may take me a moment to work out her Spells.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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@Kafka Komedy, Cool, and, how much of a team player is Lukas?

Also, Plant Growth should still be a Change spell because World affects only inorganic matter. Blood Generation should also be Change.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Kafka Komedy
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Kafka Komedy Bearer of The Curse

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@Letter Bee Lukas is a pretty good team player, but if you insult his religion he becomes much less so.

EDIT: I may change his spells a bit. Not sure yet. Definitely gonna keep the Pyrokinesis and Ash manipulation always but not sure on the rest.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by Letter Bee
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@Letter Bee Lukas is a pretty good team player, but if you insult his religion he becomes much less so.



Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Senhara
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Senhara No Thoughts, Head Empty / (she/they)

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@Letter Bee Couldn't you have put that in a hider?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Kafka Komedy
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Kafka Komedy Bearer of The Curse

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@Letter Bee Hah, disproven? Lady Baphomet exists, she simply does not interact with us directly! Or indirectly! Ghosts? Magical imprints of real people. Angels? Demons? Those fuckers are liars.

Not well, is the answer. He will not take it well.
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