Resolved ;)))
I meant his views which extended to "treat pows and civs ok"
Oh man, this looks cool. And I like your ideas on 'character roles'. I'm cautiously interested in the captain/naval officer role (in command of a huge-ass ship? Yes please), and I'd be willing to Co-GM, but I've never actually done that before. What sort of duties would that entail?
Appearance: (Disregard the crossbow and the bare thighs, the picture is otherwise perfect).
Name: O’Connor, Chloe
Age: 20
Gender: Female
Callsign: Noob
Kills: 0! For now.
Psychological Analysis: Chloe is peppy, energetic, and always talking. She’s an absolutely zealous worker and at times an insufferable kiss-up to authority figures, both habits born from the days when she had to work odd jobs to keep her family off the streets – to her, perfection is necessary to survive. She possesses a confidence that at times crosses the border completely into arrogance, being well aware that she had to work very hard to get where she is, and she often acts like she understands situations better than she actually does. She resents her position as the ‘FNG’ a bit, but for the most part she takes it as a challenge; she’s determined to prove her worth to her new contemporaries and show them just why she belongs alongside them.
Chloe’s friendly enough to most people who can put up with her, though she has a habit of making snap judgements about people that tend to stick around for a very long time, for good or ill. She loves conversation and comparing tactics, strategies or technical notes with her peers; she’s obsessed with self-improvement and being better at her job, so if she can accept that someone has some knowledge or experience she doesn’t, she’ll do her level best to get it out of them.
Deep down, her perfectionism gives way to a gnawing anxiety about her place in the world and in the 101st Legion, and she tends to deal with outright failure very poorly. She loves her family, and writes home to them frequently, though she’d be lying if she said she had any deep patriotic feelings for the UEE. To her, the Legion is a potentially lucrative career, a place she can perform well and rise far; she hasn’t put much thought into the actual ‘combat’ part of it, the risking of her own life and the taking of others’, but she believes that she’ll manage, when the time comes. The prospect of peace conflicts her – she’s seen enough devastation caused by the war to know it would be a good thing, but at the same time… it would really throw a wrench in her career goals.
Military Record: Military Record: Chloe was born on Earth in the city of Dublin, Ireland, the first of three children. Her parents were refugees from the planet Artal, an agrarian world that had recently fallen after a prolonged invasion by Coalition forces. Dublin was an urban jungle, sprawling and filthy and poverty stricken from a growing refugee crisis. Chloe grew up in a hovel on the river Liffey, which she shared with her parents and her two twin siblings; for most of her life, the family was wretchedly poor, there being little good work for people whose only marketable skills were in off-world farming.
Chloe started working odd jobs from the age of 12 to supplement her parent’s income; she hauled garbage, waited tables in in restaurants in the ‘nice’ part of town – once or twice she got involved in more illegal operations, though she made certain not to get too far into that game. The city was dangerous; everyone carried a gun, and everyone knew how to use one. Despite the difficult circumstances, Chloe’s mother found time to homeschool her children, and Chloe supplemented that education as best as she good. All the while, she was planning her escape; how she would one day provide a better life for her family. There wasn’t money at home, but there was always a need for good soldiers.
On her seventeenth birthday, Chloe marched into a recruitment station in tattered clothes with a face covered in mud and demanded to be considered eligible for training – not just as a grunt soldier, but as an MAS pilot, the best of the best. She was immediately laughed out of the room, though she remained camped outside the building for three days, yelling at the window that she wouldn’t leave until she was given the basic aptitude test. Finally, the recruitment officer relented, expecting her to fail immediately; however, she had been training and studying obsessively for this moment for a year, and both her physical performance and test scores were enough to qualify her for training. She backed a bag full of possessions, kissed her mother goodbye, and was on the next shuttle to basic, promising to send money home.
Chloe excelled in training, though most of her peers considered her absolutely insufferable. She trained and studied obsessively, graduating three years later at the top of her class and immediately being promoted to active duty with a unit of veterans. She has yet to see actual combat, but she’s looking forward to the chance to finally prove that she deserves this chance; and make a little money for her family in the bargain.
Equipment: Simple magnetic pilot’s sidearm in a thigh holster. She also has a picture of her little brother and sister scrunched up in her back pocket.
Throwing in my hat for FNG!
<Snipped quote by Sisyphus>
What about your mech :o
Also something sexy is COMING
<Snipped quote by DeadDrop>
It says in the OP that the GM will pick the mech for the FNG, I think.
Hm. Do I have the time along with everything else to write a starship captain...
Alrighty. Time for some feedback.
Firstly, to everyone. When you're filling out the character sheets, when you put down an image, you can delete the word 'appearance'. Bothers me a bit. Dunno why, call me crazy. Also keep in mind that any and all criticism is entirely professional. That doesn't mean I'm a professional critic, but rather don't take anything I say as a personal insult, I know people can get pretty attached to their work and some people get pretty defensive, but just know that I'm not criticizing your character sheets because I don't like you.
With that out of the way, let us begin with the feedback. Individual feedback will be hidden in your own little hider.
@Letter BeeAlrighty, first things first. Lets not do the anime. Digital art is a bit of an inbetween area. Its a fictional drawing, but it has detail and shading similar to Irl. I believe its been mentioned before, but Geneva as a callsign doesn't really roll off the tongue. Its not an overly serious name, but its not something people would unironically call him either. 25 kills also seems extremely high for someone who doesn't really seem like an incredibly violent person over a rather short career. For referrence, my character who will probably be in his late 20s, is a couple kills shy of 20, and he flies an interceptor.
The personality is a bit wonky in a spot or two, but I get the picture you're trying to portray.
Okay, in your background, you seem to be of the impression that corruption within the Empire is literally everywhere. Its not nearly as prevalent as he makes it out to be, nor is it anywhere as overt. Corruption unusually high yes, but its generally centered around the extremely powerful and those with more to gain and lose. Lower rungs on the food chain- combat personnel and even some lesser ship captains, or generally free from corruption. It can certainly be found here and there, but its not something that every cadet in the academy seems to possess. Most people are normal, patriotic people. Some people skirt the rules, others are sticklers, but for the most part a person in a military academy wants to be at that military academy and shows some sense of interest in what their doing and their institution.
Also, duels of honor? An absolute no. There is no way that would ever feasibly work. Even if it did work, why would Alex challenge anyone to a duel when he catches doing something inappropriate? He should just report them to authorities. The Empire may be an Empire, but it is a modern nation, not a galaxy of medieval knights. The royal titles (aside from the Emperor and his line) are more for ceremony than anything. There are modern chains of command and power, and those in higher positions of merit tend to be given titles like 'duke' or something by the Emperor.
Also, standing up for the mistreatment of civilians and prisoners isn't an abnormal thing. Sure there are a few people who abuse prisoners and civilians, but its not like we're pillagers. There are plenty of people who advocate for POW rights. Furthermore, enforcing his moral compass on everyone doesn't gain Alexander popularity or animosity with anyone, lower class or peers. If anything it just makes the people who skirt around or bend the rules avoid him or call him snitch.
In Conclusion:
The Personality and Background seem to try to paint Alexander as a good person who does good things, which is perfectly fine. But the way you go about showing how good of a person he is seems to be by showing how shit everyone else is and how not shit he is by comparison. There are plenty of ways to show that Alexander is a compassionate and kind hearted person without making him a person that obsessively enforces rules: He could've joined the military with the purpose of protecting people he felt he was responsible for. He could be someone that regularly requested to be a part of humanitarian missions, he could show kindness and compassion to enemy POWs. Plenty of things to do that show he's a good person that does good things. Not just a black sheep among officers that enlistedmen like because he forces people to follow the rules.Okay, so minor nitpick, the Designation is supposed to have a bit of technobabble, not just 'custom'. For instance, this could be the "PTX-090 Cavalier C (Custom), the 'Questing Knight'."
Second minor nitpick: General Purpose, not All-Purpose. A semantic difference really, but I like to keep things regular and organized.
The whole thing about the Questing Knight getting unreliable as time goes on isn't really necessary. You don't need to include that kind of weakness.
Now, for the way you list systems. I'd prefer if you listed each power cost at the beggining of the system, rather than list the remaining stats at the end of the system. For instance: "Tesla Drive 1 WT 6 PWR - By equipping a MAS with a Tesla Drive....."
Shieldbreaker, list caliber (probably 20mm), ammunition (around 300-500?), and rate of fire (for an SMG, 700-1000rpm). Also, nothing about a rapidfire autocannon is painless. Nothing about any giant mech weapon is painless for that matter. Quite the opposite in fact.
Alrighty. Time for some feedback.
Firstly, to everyone. When you're filling out the character sheets, when you put down an image, you can delete the word 'appearance'. Bothers me a bit. Dunno why, call me crazy. Also keep in mind that any and all criticism is entirely professional. That doesn't mean I'm a professional critic, but rather don't take anything I say as a personal insult, I know people can get pretty attached to their work and some people get pretty defensive, but just know that I'm not criticizing your character sheets because I don't like you.
With that out of the way, let us begin with the feedback. Individual feedback will be hidden in your own little hider.
@SisyphusNot a critique but a note, I changed the 'minimum' age to an age range of 20-22, about the age people are when they graduate from college- or in this case military academies.
Peppy, energetic, arrogant. Great traits for the FNG. The secret anxiety are good counterweights to her personality.
Alrighty, so Dublin- most developed places in the world today, are much more developed by the time of this RP. Refugees are less likely to be welcome on Earth as they are say Luna, Ganymede or one of the other Jovian moons, or perhaps Mars. In fact, most of the Jovian moons are going through refugee crises atm. Earth is the center of power for the UEE, and while some refugees make their way there, very few do without notable credentials. Mars is fairly similar, but more welcoming to potential laborers as Mars location of the some of the largest shipyards in the Sol System.
Also, in previous iterations of this RP, the 101st were special forces. In this iteration, they are not. They're just the pilots that fly MAS instead of strike craft. Likewise, the 12 squad is not a unit of entirely veterans- she wouldn't be the only rookie to join the 12th, nor does she half to be top of her class, though she very well can be if you really want. A good question would be how a near starving slummer with multiple jobs found the time to study for an aptitude test to become a MAS pilot, especially as MAS pilots are officers, not enlisted men. Perhaps she did well enough in school to get into the very bottom of the barrel spot of a military academy, and from there did well enough to be selected for MAS training.
In Conclusion:
Fairly good concept. Good personality and character, only real issue is how she got there.