@DustyWill have a look and get back to you along with the others.

@TerminalInteresting points. A lot of it is in the name of what has actually happened in this world, 'purgatory', which is just a temporary existence of (sometimes relative) torment and suffering. It all depends on who and what that inhabits this purgatory. But seeing as it is temporary, one can assume that other planes of existence, timelines, and variations of the very same purgatory exists.

The description of dawn coming only hours before dusk does indicate that daylight is short, but also implies that the long nights are filled with terror. So your comparison with Dark Souls' function is valid, even though the causes for it might be different. The beauty of Dark Souls, Bloodborne, or whichever of those games that you reference, is the immense room for personal interpretation. But you are correct in that daylight will offer much needed respite.

I'd suggest that Seekers are limited to this purgatory, and the alternate variations of it through certain paintings. So, cracks in the mortar, so to speak, could definitely occur in works of art and other places of significance that allows for traversal between variations of this purgatory. If all of this is true, one might consider and wonder what the Herald of Light actually is.

But again, the vague nature of these things is what keeps the mystery and to some extent the horror interesting.

@Poet

I don't think I'm going to have the time to keep up with this, honestly. It's a fairly large crowd we've got here, so I'm gonna step out.

Wish ya'll the best, though

@RaddumAre you sure? I just did some comments for your character. But it's your choice. These things tend to thin out after a while, so you are welcome back at that time, if you so wish. I'll include my comments for your character, anyway.

---

A note on the ‘Command’ virtue for everyone. Decide if your character already has a following or not. If they do, you can mention who these people are, briefly, in the profile section of the character sheet. Or, alternatively, your character can recruit followers in the story. This is something that you as the player do yourself whenever there is an opportunity for it. Think of them as your own non-player characters.

@Torack
I have some questions about the disadvantages and advantages that might help you to expand on them a little bit.

What happens in his nightmares? How does the persecution express itself? What is the depression like on a ‘bad’ day? Is the ‘bad reputation’ connected to his sins or something else? What kind of slimy things is he afraid of—some examples? How skilled is he with sword and shield—how did he learn? Which languages can he speak, and how well? What kind of wealth does he possess?

You technically get 26 points due to the +1 in violence for having a male character. You can remove the rules for distributing points. I’ve also fixed the links for the headers in the character sheet. Please revisit it and remove the punctuation from [img.]

You put 6 points into Command. Does Hondem already have followers or will he recruit them in the story?

Lastly, would you like an edited version of your character picture? It will be the same style as other pictures in the OOC.

@MegaOscarPwn
Could you add a little to how Fernando’s pride and lust expressed themselves? Concrete examples, besides what you wrote for the profile.

Has he ever killed someone through dueling? A detail that could be added to that part of the advantages list. Does Fernando have followers due to the 4 points in Command, or will he recruit them in the story?

You can remove the rules for distributing points. I’ve also fixed the links for the headers in the character sheet. Please revisit it and remove the punctuation from [img.]

Lastly, would you like an edited version of your character picture? It will be the same style as other pictures in the OOC.

@Raddum
I’ve fixed the links for the headers in the character sheet. Please revisit it and remove the punctuation from [img.]

Kretch certainly has a lot to atone for.

Can you include examples of what triggers his wrath?
You mention that his mind is ‘easily attacked’—attacked by what? Insults? Occult influence?
About not handling people well—is it that he is awkward with conversation?

You can remove the rules for distributing points.

Lastly, would you like an edited version of your character picture? It will be the same style as other pictures in the OOC.

@TsarDev
You can remove the disadvantage/advantage parentheses. Also, revisit the character sheet template. I’ve fixed the links for the headers. Just remove the punctuation from the [img.] tag.

What kind of scarred appearance is it? How do people react to it?
What happened to the injured knee? What kind of limitations does it impose?
What are the waking nightmares like? What happens in them?
Which kinds of weapons are included in his knowledge of ranged and small melee?
Is it just animal tracking? Can he track humans? Can he track beasts of the purgatory?

Would you like an edited version of your character picture? It will be the same style as other pictures in the OOC.

@Ashen One
Great picture. I have that one saved myself.

Could one say that the murder was based on wrath? Or some other sin? Many things lead to murder.

What does his brother say in his mind? Does he mock? Incite guilt?
What triggers his rage?
Nyctophobia in a world where day only lasts a few hours? Better bring torches and lanterns! What happens to him in the dark, exactly?

Add another point in violence, as it’s a male character. Does Galeren have all of his followers at the beginning or will they be recruited in the story?

Would you like an edited version of your character picture? It will be the same style as other pictures in the OOC.

@Dusty
Very poetic. Does Corbric already have a following or will he recruit them in the story? Perhaps some old members of the Papal Guard are still with him? Other than that, I have no other comment. Although, I’ve fixed the links for the headers in the character sheet. You can revisit it, if you want and just remove the punctuation from the [img.] tag.

@Poet

I may return once things thin out a bit. As is, I'd rather step back for a bit.

As I do intend to keep the CS, I'll be applying edits based on your comments to prepare for whenever that is. I'll have his weaknesses explained in more detail, for sure. As well as apply the fixed coding.

I'll work on your suggestions once I get home.

Also yea, I would like an edited version

@RaddumGreat. There is also the option of helping me with controlling NPCs and monster actions in combat. You don't have to decide now, but think on it.

@Poet First off: holy crap, that's a long post and I appreciate the time you have taken to review every single post that everyone has made. Patpat.

And yes, I'll add some more examples about his lust and pride although they're already slightly clear, but I'll just add a few more examples on how it can affect him and the people around.

Indeed he has killed people, all duels back in that era where "to the death", so everyone who he duelled ended up assasinated...although they all agreeded up to the duel, so it wasn't really a crime? Except the nobleman's duel, in which he cheated like a fuckerinno.

And alright, I'll delete everything ya just told me and edit all of it, no problem about it. And sure! I would love an edited version.

@Poet First profile for you. Holding on to the second for a moment, I would appreciate some feedback here so I can fine-tune the next one. As a qualifier to reading, let it be known that certain, squickier aspects of her biography and failings (you will know them when you see them) will not be quite so greatly emphasized IC as stated here. Think of them more as profound, underlying psychological aspects that are not immediately evident except through careful scrutiny over time in person.

Mine's been edited and I have added some more stuffs to it, now we just wait.

@Torack


@TerminalLooks well put. Would you like an edited version of the character image?

@MegaOscarPwnIf you find a larger image, I can do some edits if you like.

@Poet



That's Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer by the way, really important writer in the Romantic Era of Spain, 19th Century.
AIN'T HE A CUTIE.

@TerminalLooks well put. Would you like an edited version of the character image?

Sure thing. Much obliged.

@Poet

Alright, I edited my CS per your suggestions. Lemme know if there's anything else you want me to add/edit in my CS!

@MegaOscarPwn


@Terminal


@TorackLooks good. Post it up in the character tab.

Mine's good too? If so, may I post it in the char tab too?

@Ashen One
Great picture. I have that one saved myself.

Could one say that the murder was based on wrath? Or some other sin? Many things lead to murder.

What does his brother say in his mind? Does he mock? Incite guilt?
What triggers his rage?
Nyctophobia in a world where day only lasts a few hours? Better bring torches and lanterns! What happens to him in the dark, exactly?

Add another point in violence, as it’s a male character. Does Galeren have all of his followers at the beginning or will they be recruited in the story?

Would you like an edited version of your character picture? It will be the same style as other pictures in the OOC.

-It took forever to find a good picture, glad you like it.

-Yes, his murder is from Wrath. Towards his brother actually but seeing how he's dead, the closest passerby will suffice.

-His brother routinely guilt trips him for the things he's done. It can range from light whispers to full blown yelling in his head. That triggers his rage.

-Pitch blackness with freak him out but low-lighting is relatively fine by him.

-Done. And I planned for him to gather followers as the story progresses.

-That would be awesome, thanks.

@MegaOscarPwnDid you mention the followers anywhere due to 4 in the command virtue? If he has any right away or will recruit them? That's the only thing, then you're good to go. Post it up in the character tab.

@Ashen OneAlright. So mention some of your answers in the character sheet, and then post it up in the character tab. Once I got the character image edit done, you can edit it in later.

Hello!

I'd like to ask if there is still room for one more player/character? Already got an idea in mind, 'just' need to flesh it out.

@Ashen One


@FetzenYes, there is plenty of room.

@Poet Second profile for you; more of a secondary character than anything else. You may want to stick her in your portfolio with the monsters and NPCs you mentioned to Raddum a while ago. Let me know what you think.