Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Sightseer
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Sightseer Story Seeker

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N/A
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by deadpixel101
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deadpixel101 Still Around

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@Sightseer

I'm torn between loving them dearly and hoping they win; as well as wanting to win myself.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lyla
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Lyla Shadowdancer

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@Apocalypse - I know, don't judge me. I'm just posting that so everyone knows it's for... everyone. -_-
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lyla
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Lyla Shadowdancer

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Okay, half way through the CSs! Sorry for the delay, but I'm making up time tonight! <3
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lyla
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Lyla Shadowdancer

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EVERYONE - I'll probably approve of 1-3 more heroes based on potential improvements and those willing to make improvements/adjustments based on my notes! Also, I'll make final decisions come next Tuesday. By the weekend, I'll have a lot of plans with family but want to give everyone time.


@Cairo - Interesting character, however a couple notes I wrote. Flying at high speeds is a no go, as it's a bit over the top for this RP. Also double-check your barrier piercing (i.e. it should never be able to bypass Save the Queen, the blade itself). Basically overall tone down the power level. ^-^

@Raging Fenrir - Only one note - make sure the cloak is a potential artifact from the Darkness in some way or another. Otherwise approved! I appreciate a magical detective. =3

@mercenarius - Forgot Time of Death but otherwise approved! I like how she's a stealth master, thief, and rebel leader!

@Inertia - Character is a bit overpowered, especially with his Archery. I mean, you're piling on being a tactical genius, master archer, master stealth, and good at martial weapons? Seems like there's no weaknesses. Also adding hard light is too much like comic books.

@Rabidporcupine - I was skeptical, but I actually ended up liking it against my own judgement. =3 I like that he's a songblade. So he's approved. ^-^

@CaptainSully - Not entirely sure his character is the best fit for the forming party, but besides this he's also far too superior in both ALL weapons and stealth as it is. Also shadow magic is to be granted by the Darkness, so he'd need to have a particular reason for that.

@Apocalypse - Unfortunately it's very hard to read. Beyond this, shadow and light magic doesn't really meld in this setting. SOME heroes may have blessing from the Darkness, but the Dark Lord & Pale Lady do not mix well for reasons. Also she'd need particular reasons to be granted shadow magic.

@Sightseer - Forgot her time of death. Otherwise, 100% approved. I adored reading about our very own Archdruid!

@Hero - I like her, though I hope to see her develop as a character over the course of the role-play. Otherwise no notes, so she is approved!

@Konan375 - Necromancers need to be specially crafted for this setting and to be heroes and I just don't feel it's convincing enough to justify.

@Italicized - Besides a missing personality, that level of healing cannot mix with necromancy in this setting. Also any necromancy needs to be very convincing, though not to mention I very much get a Full Metal Alchemist vibe, which isn't fitting to this RP.

@Fetzen - Sad to say, but this is simply too hard for me to ever follow. I tried to read his personality and I just get confused.

@Aeolian - While very well done and very unique, utility of this caliber only gets so far in adventuring, so I don't feel like he/it is a fit.

@deadpixel101 - Just one of this characters that doesn't quite fit my view/aura of the role-play. I'd imagine this character to be more in a RPG or a modern fantasy type of environment.

@Zero Hex - Certainly potential, but at the moment there isn't enough to his backstory to classify as a "legend" or enough proof to justify him being a part of the journey. A hero isn't by strength alone and so there would need to be more for the Pale Lady to deem him worthy of the task other than fighting some martial artists.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Fetzen
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Fetzen

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[@Everyone] Given that there's a lot of competition for the one to three last remaining slots and that I've essentially been told to completely redesign or at least re-write the sheet I'll back out of this RP. I wish good luck to everyone and hope that this RP will thrive.

Personally I'm very likely to either leave the guild altogether or at least go on an hiatus with continued attention to the few RPs I'm still in. Given my luck it shouldn't take long for them to end as well. Sorry @Lyla, you probably have all reason to say that my writing sucks or whatever, but sadly your decision is the last piece on an already tremendous pile of devastation and time that has been spent in complete vain I had to go through the last two months. It's enough for me. This is no fun.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Konan375
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Well I guess I should make things more interesting and convincing, then, @Lyla.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Raging Fenrir
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Raging Fenrir Not chosen, but still the one.

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@Lyla I was definitely alluding to his coat being an artifact bestowed by the darkness, which is why I had him get it through less than virtuous means. Thanks for the approval!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Rabidporcupine
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Rabidporcupine Depression Tree.

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@Lyla
Honestly, I thought it would be all the references to FFXII and Tactics that would sway you over, but yeah, I'm glad you ignored your better judgment in my favour!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
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Aeolian Proud Fujoshi

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@Lyla

Hi Lyla.

I'm sorry my Cs wasn't up to par. I'm still inexperienced and learning.

Gonna start revising my Cs and get back to you.

What I got from your review is that I need more practical adventure skills and less utility.

Will make the necessary changes and re submit for one of the last 3 spots.

Thanks for a second chance.

Cheers!!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lyla
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Lyla Shadowdancer

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@Fetzen - Please don't throw a pity party. You are responsible for your own emotions, not me. Either way good luck in whichever you choose to do.

@Konan375 - Yes, great attitude! Go for it!

@Raging Fenrir - Of course! :D

@Rabidporcupine - I only saw one, being Delita, haha, but yeah. I was like, "oh neat," but ignored it mostly since it's just an easter egg mostly. ^.- Never played FFXII.

@Aeolian - Exactly right. ^-^ I look forward to it!
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Hero
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@Rabidporcupine - I only saw one, being Delita, haha, but yeah. I was like, "oh neat," but ignored it mostly since it's just an easter egg mostly. ^.- Never played FFXII.


>puts on nerd glasses

Actually, Delita is from Final Fantasy Tactics, which does take place in the same setting (Ivalice), just at a different time period. (FFXII takes place before Tactics iirc) Don't mind me and my FF fangasms
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by deadpixel101
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@Lyla

That's a fair review and I'm honestly not too surprised. I felt he might not gel too well with that was established here; but I didn't imagine anyone else to write.

I think I'm going to withdraw too, but I do hope you guys have fun! Good luck to those working to make it into one of the final spots :D
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Inertia
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Inertia Pretty Lackadaisical

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Hmm, thanks for the fair criticism, I did feel like he was a bit overpowered aswell. Ah, well seems like I'm gonna have to withdraw out of this one too.

Best of luck with this.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Raging Fenrir
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Raging Fenrir Not chosen, but still the one.

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<Snipped quote by Lyla>

>puts on nerd glasses

Actually, Delita is from Final Fantasy Tactics, which does take place in the same setting (Ivalice), just at a different time period. (FFXII takes place before Tactics iirc) Don't mind me and my FF fangasms


Well, if we're putting on nerd glasses, I wonder if anybody gets the famous detective references I put in Lance's family. Hint: there's 3
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Hero
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Hero Sincerest of Knights

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<Snipped quote by Hero>

Well, if we're putting on nerd glasses, I wonder if anybody gets the famous detective references I put in Lance's family. Hint: there's 3


My nerd glasses are for video games (mostly Final Fantasy and other JRPGs) only. Like the nerd I am.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Konan375
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Konan375

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Well, here's a second shot at Mortimer.

Edit: was a shot, need to rework the backstory a bit more
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by mercenarius
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mercenarius Good Bot

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@Raging Fenrir Dupin is an Edgar Allen Poe character, not sure about the other references tho.

By the way, I'm sure Lance and Sibley are going to be just the BEST of friends :3
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Sightseer
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Moved my CS to the CS page.

I too foresee a great friendship developing between the thief and the beat cop turned detective. :D
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by RedXCross
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RedXCross Dig, Dig, Dig...

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In classic FF fashion I foresee a solid friendship forming between the paladin and the dragoon. 😛
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