At some point Talbot bent his knees to sink to the ground. Darin was on the laying on the ground as close she could get to the horse. The human looked up at the stars as she counted them, lost track, and began to count them again. She couldn’t seem to fall asleep. Slowly she watched the moon creep across the sky. She was going to be exhausted when the morning came. For a moment she pondered whether she should just keep moving. She wanted to see The Tree. It wasn’t like she was going to get rest, so she might as well do something productive. The only thing about that was that wouldn’t be fair to Ridahne, and Darin was desperately trying to be a good person. She wasn’t sure that it was working one little bit.
The human turned on their side and pressed and pressed their back to Talbot’s flank. She pondered what Ridahne had said about understanding her and the person she was to marry. Out of all the things the Elf had talked about that was the one Darin would admit she didn’t understand. She wasn’t sure how she could understand it. Once upon a time her mother had told her that love was complicated. Darin didn’t think it needed to be complicated though. If two or more people loved each other shouldn’t the goal be to be together. That seemed fairly simple to Darin. People then went and made it complicated. Mama had told her that she just hoped that her father was happy. Darin supposed that was because Talia had never stopped loving Martin. She supposed that could be the same thing here. It may not have made sense to Darin, but if it made sense to Ridahne than who was she to judge? Darin still thought that Ajoran, was that his name, was more hurt than even Ridahne knew. Darin didn’t even have the strength to let people close. How much strength did it take to let them go? Had Ridahne even thought that as she planned her killing spree? The Elf may not have left on a cold dark night, but she still had left without thinking of how her loved one would suffer. If they truly loved each other the way the warrior had claimed, the two of them would have discussed it first. Then they would have made the choices together. Ridahne’s firm insistence that they were not like her parents led Darin to think that the warriors were more similar to the farmers than the Elf wanted to consider.
Darin shook her head. She was trying to not make assumptions about Ridahne. That was harder than it sounded, but it was one of the things her mother tried to teach her. She wasn’t good at it. She judged people all the time. Even before The Seed came to her Darin had been good at making assumptions about people. That seemed like something the Seed-Bearer should avoid. She shifted on to her back. Maybe there was something wrong with her. Well, that was dumb. There was plenty wrong with her. In fact, she had a whole list. Her cons far outweighed her pros. It was still baffling that The Gardener had picked her. She gave her head another shake. She was not starting down that road again. There were other, more important, things to think about. She needed to figure out how she was going to stop making assumptions about Ridahne. Darin couldn’t come up with any good ideas. Ridahne probably hated her. Darin actually beat her palm against her forehead for that. She wasn’t supposed to assume she knew what the Elf was thinking. She had no idea what the Elf was thinking. Darin scowled. Being a good person was hard. She wanted to go back to just being a sort of an okay farmer. Why did she have to be picked for this? Why did The Gardener pick her?
Frustrated with her lack of sleeping Darin pushed off the ground to start waking again. She didn’t get very far before Talbot caught her pant leg in his teeth. The human scowled at the horse. Talbot looked unimpressed. Darin flopped back down. The horse had a point. Darin wasn’t far from the camp. She could still see the fire’s glow. If she went much farther a repeat of this morning would happen. That wasn’t something that would be good. Not for the first time Darin wondered how someone who could get lost going twenty feet would be able to travel all of Astra. She curled back into Talbot. She was starting to get chilly.
She whispered to the night air, “I miss Mama Talbot. I just want to see her again.”
The human turned on their side and pressed and pressed their back to Talbot’s flank. She pondered what Ridahne had said about understanding her and the person she was to marry. Out of all the things the Elf had talked about that was the one Darin would admit she didn’t understand. She wasn’t sure how she could understand it. Once upon a time her mother had told her that love was complicated. Darin didn’t think it needed to be complicated though. If two or more people loved each other shouldn’t the goal be to be together. That seemed fairly simple to Darin. People then went and made it complicated. Mama had told her that she just hoped that her father was happy. Darin supposed that was because Talia had never stopped loving Martin. She supposed that could be the same thing here. It may not have made sense to Darin, but if it made sense to Ridahne than who was she to judge? Darin still thought that Ajoran, was that his name, was more hurt than even Ridahne knew. Darin didn’t even have the strength to let people close. How much strength did it take to let them go? Had Ridahne even thought that as she planned her killing spree? The Elf may not have left on a cold dark night, but she still had left without thinking of how her loved one would suffer. If they truly loved each other the way the warrior had claimed, the two of them would have discussed it first. Then they would have made the choices together. Ridahne’s firm insistence that they were not like her parents led Darin to think that the warriors were more similar to the farmers than the Elf wanted to consider.
Darin shook her head. She was trying to not make assumptions about Ridahne. That was harder than it sounded, but it was one of the things her mother tried to teach her. She wasn’t good at it. She judged people all the time. Even before The Seed came to her Darin had been good at making assumptions about people. That seemed like something the Seed-Bearer should avoid. She shifted on to her back. Maybe there was something wrong with her. Well, that was dumb. There was plenty wrong with her. In fact, she had a whole list. Her cons far outweighed her pros. It was still baffling that The Gardener had picked her. She gave her head another shake. She was not starting down that road again. There were other, more important, things to think about. She needed to figure out how she was going to stop making assumptions about Ridahne. Darin couldn’t come up with any good ideas. Ridahne probably hated her. Darin actually beat her palm against her forehead for that. She wasn’t supposed to assume she knew what the Elf was thinking. She had no idea what the Elf was thinking. Darin scowled. Being a good person was hard. She wanted to go back to just being a sort of an okay farmer. Why did she have to be picked for this? Why did The Gardener pick her?
Frustrated with her lack of sleeping Darin pushed off the ground to start waking again. She didn’t get very far before Talbot caught her pant leg in his teeth. The human scowled at the horse. Talbot looked unimpressed. Darin flopped back down. The horse had a point. Darin wasn’t far from the camp. She could still see the fire’s glow. If she went much farther a repeat of this morning would happen. That wasn’t something that would be good. Not for the first time Darin wondered how someone who could get lost going twenty feet would be able to travel all of Astra. She curled back into Talbot. She was starting to get chilly.
She whispered to the night air, “I miss Mama Talbot. I just want to see her again.”