(The bold belongs to @Sho Minazuki Thank you so much for your help!)
Sara collapsed into Hayasegawa’s arms. It was too much. It was all just too much. She knew that she needed to get better, but she couldn’t even think of that. She cried until Hayasegawa’s words caused her to pause. No! No! Maybe. It wasn’t like she was useful. How much had she given to this fight and what had it accomplished? Absolutely nothing. A chip on a powerful Hollow’s mask and an exhausted soul. Maybe she should just give up. It might save everyone time. Hayasegawa and Tatsuha certainly wouldn’t have to waste time training her anymore. Was the training really helping anyways? She wasn’t as good as the boys, that was sure. She didn’t know and, frankly, she didn’t
“Sara.”
There it was again. That same voice from the start of the fight. The one that had snapped her out of whatever spell the Hollow had placed on her. Hayasegawa didn’t respond to it but Sara froze as she listened to it, trying to figure out where it had come from. It was incredibly faint, but it didn’t sound as desperate. Mostly sad and full of love, like it knew what she was thinking and couldn’t find fault with her for thinking it but still wishing she wouldn’t. Sara had no idea how she knew those things. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to know those things, but the thought of disappointing the voice, whoever it was, felt like someone had grabbed her heart and twisted. And the twins. Who wouldn’t protect the twins if she gave up? She didn’t know how to be their sister properly, but she still had to protect them.
She pushed away from the Shinigami, suddenly angry, “No! No!” She stumbled to her feet and almost fell over again, “No! I have a job to do! I agreed to the job!” She sounded desperate and angry and her grip on her Zanpakutō was so tight her knuckles were turning around as she gestured broadly, “I just have to get better! Stronger! Faster! I need more Reiryoku! Yes it’s scary! I did everything I could and it wasn’t enough and I almost died! But that’s why I have to get better!” The anger had left her voice and she just sounded desperate, “Please! There has to be something I can do.”
Shouko looked at Sara in some surprise, it was a hard feeling to grasp, what she was feeling. She was not upset, nor was she disappointed, and she would not have been should Sara have chosen to put her sword down and not fight, she could not blame her. After all this was a requirement of the job of substitute Shinigami and she was fulfilling her own duties. Shouko had chosen to steel herself when she first threw herself into her duties and that is why she became who she was. But what would Sara do she wondered? She felt a sense of interest and duty to her too, what can she do she wondered?
"Very well... Tomorrow everyone will be meeting at the candy shop to discuss tonight... I'm sure Ouga has told everyone the same, so expect a message tomorrow", the candy shop was mentioned a few times, but now that she thought about it, none of the substitutes ever had a chance to visit it. "The intent of the meeting tomorrow would be to ascertain everyone's resolve... But you have already shown me yours. What can you do you have asked me, then the answer is simple, I will train you, and make you ready for the nights ahead. For now... It may be best to return home to sleep", she responded. At this moment the adrenaline would come crashing inside of Sara, and the tiredness would set in.
Sara nodded, suddenly tired, “Thank you Ms. Hayasegawa.” She bowed slightly, “I’ll be heading home now.”
How Sara got home she would never fully remember. She was in her spirit body so she had no qualms just climbing the stairs. She didn’t think she had the energy too climb up to the window. She paused outside of Shoto’s and Dai’s room. The door was closed but she could still imagine them, Shoto almost dead to the world, Dai hiding his late night phone scrolling beneath the blanket. She knew more about them than she thought. Dai played piano. Shoto had a crush on someone at school and she had the strongest suspicion about which older student it was. They both played some online video game and were surprisingly good but they always let her win a couple rounds when convinced her to play for a little bit. Dai liked art and music. Shoto preferred math and physics. Both liked sweet red bean paste mochi and tempura. They hated being confused for the other, but they were the best of friends. Sara’s face hardened. She wasn’t the best sister, but she was going to do everything in her power to keep them safe from the monsters they didn’t even realize existed. She surprised herself with that knowledge that she had been fighting for them tonight. Well until she could fight for herself, they would do.
She continued off to bed. The modsoul was asleep and she always felt rude waking it up, so she grabbed the blanket off the chair and spread out on the floor. She couldn’t sleep and stared up and the ceiling. What had that voice been? She turned to look at her Zanpakutō and hesitantly reached out to touch it with a finger. She didn’t know how to use it properly, and it was always the last tool she picked to use in an actual fight, preferring Hoho and Kido. But she hated being away from it. For some reason that she couldn’t explain she couldn’t help but connect the voice and her Zanpakutō, which was silly, wasn’t it? Swords didn’t speak. Then again, it wasn’t sword, was it? Just how important was that difference?
The next day she arrived at the candy shop that she had been told to go to by Hayasegawa. She had never been here before and she wondered if there was a reason they were meeting here rather than at the florist shop or the mechanic shop. She still wasn’t sure what had happened at the park, and she hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, so she still felt so drained. She had just about made up her mind to ask either Hayasegawa or Tatsuha about the actual difference between a sword and a Zanpakutō. She might even ask them about the voice, but she wasn’t sure she remembered it right and it didn’t sound kind of crazy. Hey last night I think I heard a voice, and I think it was my Zanpakutō They might just laugh in her face. But she still wanted to be sure.
Sara collapsed into Hayasegawa’s arms. It was too much. It was all just too much. She knew that she needed to get better, but she couldn’t even think of that. She cried until Hayasegawa’s words caused her to pause. No! No! Maybe. It wasn’t like she was useful. How much had she given to this fight and what had it accomplished? Absolutely nothing. A chip on a powerful Hollow’s mask and an exhausted soul. Maybe she should just give up. It might save everyone time. Hayasegawa and Tatsuha certainly wouldn’t have to waste time training her anymore. Was the training really helping anyways? She wasn’t as good as the boys, that was sure. She didn’t know and, frankly, she didn’t
“Sara.”
There it was again. That same voice from the start of the fight. The one that had snapped her out of whatever spell the Hollow had placed on her. Hayasegawa didn’t respond to it but Sara froze as she listened to it, trying to figure out where it had come from. It was incredibly faint, but it didn’t sound as desperate. Mostly sad and full of love, like it knew what she was thinking and couldn’t find fault with her for thinking it but still wishing she wouldn’t. Sara had no idea how she knew those things. She wasn’t sure that she wanted to know those things, but the thought of disappointing the voice, whoever it was, felt like someone had grabbed her heart and twisted. And the twins. Who wouldn’t protect the twins if she gave up? She didn’t know how to be their sister properly, but she still had to protect them.
She pushed away from the Shinigami, suddenly angry, “No! No!” She stumbled to her feet and almost fell over again, “No! I have a job to do! I agreed to the job!” She sounded desperate and angry and her grip on her Zanpakutō was so tight her knuckles were turning around as she gestured broadly, “I just have to get better! Stronger! Faster! I need more Reiryoku! Yes it’s scary! I did everything I could and it wasn’t enough and I almost died! But that’s why I have to get better!” The anger had left her voice and she just sounded desperate, “Please! There has to be something I can do.”
Shouko looked at Sara in some surprise, it was a hard feeling to grasp, what she was feeling. She was not upset, nor was she disappointed, and she would not have been should Sara have chosen to put her sword down and not fight, she could not blame her. After all this was a requirement of the job of substitute Shinigami and she was fulfilling her own duties. Shouko had chosen to steel herself when she first threw herself into her duties and that is why she became who she was. But what would Sara do she wondered? She felt a sense of interest and duty to her too, what can she do she wondered?
"Very well... Tomorrow everyone will be meeting at the candy shop to discuss tonight... I'm sure Ouga has told everyone the same, so expect a message tomorrow", the candy shop was mentioned a few times, but now that she thought about it, none of the substitutes ever had a chance to visit it. "The intent of the meeting tomorrow would be to ascertain everyone's resolve... But you have already shown me yours. What can you do you have asked me, then the answer is simple, I will train you, and make you ready for the nights ahead. For now... It may be best to return home to sleep", she responded. At this moment the adrenaline would come crashing inside of Sara, and the tiredness would set in.
Sara nodded, suddenly tired, “Thank you Ms. Hayasegawa.” She bowed slightly, “I’ll be heading home now.”
How Sara got home she would never fully remember. She was in her spirit body so she had no qualms just climbing the stairs. She didn’t think she had the energy too climb up to the window. She paused outside of Shoto’s and Dai’s room. The door was closed but she could still imagine them, Shoto almost dead to the world, Dai hiding his late night phone scrolling beneath the blanket. She knew more about them than she thought. Dai played piano. Shoto had a crush on someone at school and she had the strongest suspicion about which older student it was. They both played some online video game and were surprisingly good but they always let her win a couple rounds when convinced her to play for a little bit. Dai liked art and music. Shoto preferred math and physics. Both liked sweet red bean paste mochi and tempura. They hated being confused for the other, but they were the best of friends. Sara’s face hardened. She wasn’t the best sister, but she was going to do everything in her power to keep them safe from the monsters they didn’t even realize existed. She surprised herself with that knowledge that she had been fighting for them tonight. Well until she could fight for herself, they would do.
She continued off to bed. The modsoul was asleep and she always felt rude waking it up, so she grabbed the blanket off the chair and spread out on the floor. She couldn’t sleep and stared up and the ceiling. What had that voice been? She turned to look at her Zanpakutō and hesitantly reached out to touch it with a finger. She didn’t know how to use it properly, and it was always the last tool she picked to use in an actual fight, preferring Hoho and Kido. But she hated being away from it. For some reason that she couldn’t explain she couldn’t help but connect the voice and her Zanpakutō, which was silly, wasn’t it? Swords didn’t speak. Then again, it wasn’t sword, was it? Just how important was that difference?
The next day she arrived at the candy shop that she had been told to go to by Hayasegawa. She had never been here before and she wondered if there was a reason they were meeting here rather than at the florist shop or the mechanic shop. She still wasn’t sure what had happened at the park, and she hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, so she still felt so drained. She had just about made up her mind to ask either Hayasegawa or Tatsuha about the actual difference between a sword and a Zanpakutō. She might even ask them about the voice, but she wasn’t sure she remembered it right and it didn’t sound kind of crazy. Hey last night I think I heard a voice, and I think it was my Zanpakutō They might just laugh in her face. But she still wanted to be sure.