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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Dervish
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@Xanadu Good news!

I just sat down for the past three hours and finished up the sheet. Feel free to go over it at your time and let me know how it went, if you would be so gentlemanatee,
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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@Dervish
Gotch'a! Will take a gander soon!

Alright everyone! I have a practice review finished!

So my reviews are broken down into two sections: the play by play and the general summary. The play by play is literally the notes that I'm making as I read the application. This notes will be marked with a <- and will always be written in cyan so that they stand out against the sheet. This shows you generally what's going through my head as I read the sheet and is used to highlight specific trouble points.

The general summary will as it sounds will summarize the general major problems if any that I see. I will tell you where you should focus in on, typically where I see the weakest part of the sheet is. Beyond that I think everything is pretty self-explanatory!



@Star Lord's


Alright general summary time!
It's a strong start for a character! There are some problems though which is okay! Appearance section is a little weak. It does the job of describing the character, but I want a little bit more. What does this say about them? Why do they wear what they wear? This goes similarly with the gear and is why, if you look in Kolya's sheet, there is a little blurb after each item. It helps flesh out the character more, helps them feel more realized.

Major problems are in the backstory though. Some elements chronologically don't make sense. Other elements contrast of what we know of the pre-established lore. And other things just kinda state that a thing happens without giving context for it. All in all this your weakest section and I'd say where you need to focus in on the most.

Beyond that though there are some little things here and there that you can see in my comments. That you may want to choose to address.


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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Heat
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@Xanadu so, off topic ish but is there gonna be a discord chat?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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@Xanadu so, off topic ish but is there gonna be a discord chat?


Most likely yes! After applications are done and the final roster is set in stone. I feel it would be shitty to invite people and then have to kick them later?
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Dervish
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@Xanadu From personal experience, it's definitely preferable to start up the Discord after the players are selected and you're starting to organize stuff for the launch. You definitely hit the nail on the head!
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Jarl Coolgruuf
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Jarl Coolgruuf The Mellower

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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Dervish
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@Jarl Coolgruuf

When you're hanging with your friends and one of them coughs.

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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Mao Mao
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@Xanadu

Now that I got my feedback, I just edit my sheet or resubmit it and wait until the deadline's over to get it reviewed again?
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Mao Mao
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Also, can I ask questions about the feedback in private? Just to be sure that we are on the same page? @Xanadu
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Heat
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Heat Hey, nice marmot

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@Xanadu also is there, a uh bar on the ship? Like the Normandy had.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Dervish
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@Heat Look, as far as I'm concerned, if there's a shelf, it can be a bar.

Let the entire ship's flat surfaces be the bar, especially the cockpit and med bay.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Xanadu
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Also, can I ask questions about the feedback in private? Just to be sure that we are on the same page? @Xanadu


Yeah if that would help!

@Xanadu also is there, a uh bar on the ship? Like the Normandy had.


I mean like... the haunts section of the CS is for you guys to tell me what is on the ship. Sooooo if you want there to be a bar. There is a possibility.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Heat
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Heat Hey, nice marmot

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@Heat Look, as far as I'm concerned, if there's a shelf, it can be a bar.

Let the entire ship's flat surfaces be the bar, especially the cockpit and med bay.



I love that attitude.

<Snipped quote by Heat>

I mean like... the haunts section of the CS is for you guys to tell me what is on the ship. Sooooo if you want there to be a bar. There is a possibility.



There will be a bar, thank you.
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Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Rtron
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Let the entire ship's flat surfaces be the bar, especially the cockpit and med bay.


If wannabe dinosaurs, lizards, and angry pink pig people invade his Medbay to get drunk, Kopris will be filling all their drinks with laxatives.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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(She'll hopefully have artwork sooooonish, I'm still learning to draw but want to take a crack at her.)


Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Jarl Coolgruuf
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Finally ready to put this up


Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Mao Mao
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So many human characters. Where are the turians????
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Jarl Coolgruuf
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Jarl Coolgruuf The Mellower

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So many human characters. Where are the turians.


>so many human characters
>where are the Turians?
>on a ship ran by a human
>less than a generation after the First Contact war

but in all seriousness I expected a gaggle of asari and krogans and turians oh my! so I figured my human would be in the minority

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The ship can only handle one of the galaxy's finest, ktnx
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