I just sat down for the past three hours and finished up the sheet. Feel free to go over it at your time and let me know how it went, if you would be so gentlemanatee,
Alright everyone! I have a practice review finished!
So my reviews are broken down into two sections: the play by play and the general summary. The play by play is literally the notes that I'm making as I read the application. This notes will be marked with a <- and will always be written in cyan so that they stand out against the sheet. This shows you generally what's going through my head as I read the sheet and is used to highlight specific trouble points.
The general summary will as it sounds will summarize the general major problems if any that I see. I will tell you where you should focus in on, typically where I see the weakest part of the sheet is. Beyond that I think everything is pretty self-explanatory!
<- Starting with Diego Luna as your face claim, I feel personally attacked. M A R I U S F A R O ✹ T H I R T Y T W O ✹ M A L E ✹ H U M A N ✹ E N G I N E E R ✹
A P P E A R A N C E
Marius Faro stood 5' 10" and weighed around one hundred fifty pounds with a muscular frame. He maintained a healthy body and often worked out despite his prosthetic leg. Whenever he wore his armor, the prosthetic leg never stood out and often mistaken as a real leg. <- Is that intentional? Or was that more of a happy circumstance. I only ask because it might tell us more about him as a person. In casual wear, on the other hand, it stood out even though he wore jewelry all over his arms. <- Is there a story behind the jewelery or is that just for the #aesthetic Faro kept his hair at medium length because of his time in the military. And if jewelry and a prosthetic leg wasn't enough, he also had several tattoos all over his body including an arm tattoo. <-Once again, I'm wondering what the tattoos look like. Are they from his military days? Before? After? Appearance also tells a story, helps flesh the character out. Because they can be just an aesthetic choice, but I feel that wastes an opportunity to help flesh out Marius more maybe? Idk.
B A C K G R O U N D
"The hardest lesson that I learned during my youth was to think for myself." <- The quote is a nice touch!
Marius Faro was born in Mars' first settlement, Lowell City, a year after the discovery of the Martian Ruins. Both of his parents were scientists that took part in the exploitation of the ruins for remaining technologies. Six months after Marius' birth, his parents' contract with the Systems Alliance wasn't renewed, and they moved to America as a result. <- I'm wondering where his parents came from originally. Cause the European Space Agency officially founded Lowell, so are they from Europe or America and if they are from Europe why go to America? His mother, Alyssa, became a recruiter for the Alliance's science department to provide a better life for her only child. On the other hand, his father remained an independent scientist and accepted a contract to study the newly discovered Charon Relay. While they were working to reactive it, the turians attacked and destroyed nearly the entire fleet. <- This is a lore misstep here. During First Contact, the Turian's didn't attack the Charon Relay, they attacked Relay 314, which is a deactivated relay further from Earth, that the Alliance wanted to use to further expand but is against intergalactic policy because like you don't want another Rachni incident happening. 2149 was when the Charon Relay was activated and the Relay 314 incident was in 2157. Which is around an eight year difference? So I don't know if that messes up the rest of your timeline a bit.
Marius and his mother learned about Franco's fate when a lone starship returned. Heartbroken and angry, Alyssa developed a hatred of turians and wanted them to pay for murdering her husband. Her resentment grew worse when Shanxi fell. Now, she and plenty of people were ready and willing to support an interplanetary war. Unfortunately for them, the Citadel Council stepped in between and forged peace before war truly begun. The council's intervention changed Alyssa forever. She found comfort with Terra Firma, a growing anti-alien political party, and eventually rose to become one of its key speakers.
Meanwhile, Marius struggled without his father during middle and high school. His mother didn't help much other than taking him to one of Terra Firma's rallies. Instead, he tried to find comfort by seeking answers to his father's death. That was when he learned that humans unknowingly violated one of the Council laws by reactivating the relay. It helped him understand why the turians attacked, but it didn't bring him comfort about his father's death. Things only got worse once high school began.
Many of his peers were bothered with the fact that his mother was part of Terra Firma and considered Marius to have the same beliefs. Some students defended him because they had parents in the same political party and openly xenophobe. But, there were those willing to know Marius including Arrutis Isaraka, a turian that transferred because his father was an instructor for the Alliance. <- I like this whole forbidden romance bit, but it would of never happened. The Alliance was terrified of asking for any alien help after First Contact especially the Turians, they whole reason they had to keep what was happening at Jump Zero a secret was the fear of backlash of having even just turian mercs teaching bioitcs how to use their powers. So a turian and his family wouldn't just be openly prancing about Earth teaching with the Alliance. The two formed a friendship at the end of freshman year; however, Marius kept it a secret to his mother. While their friendship kept on growing, his relationship with his mother started to sour.
Eventually, both of them realized that they had feelings for each other and secretly started dating. Marius feared what would happen to Arrutis if his mother found out about their relationship. Meanwhile, more of his peers began to realize that he was different from his mother; but, it still wasn't enough. Marius felt like he wanted to prove everyone wrong and decided to plan something in his senior year. The plan was for Marius and Arrutis to attend Alyssa's rally on the ninth anniversary of the First Contact War to humiliate her.
Of course, the plan was being followed until Arrutis kissed Marius. Alyssa was caught off guard and felt stunned and embarrassed that her son liked the kiss. If that wasn't enough, it happened on the anniversary of Franco's death. Then, a picture of Arrutis kissing Marius went viral on the extranet. It was such a big scandal that Terra Firma denounced Alyssa and discredited her as a member. She never forgave Marius and felt like he dishonored his father for dating his "murders." When he turned eighteen and graduated, Alyssa kicked her son out and told him never to see her again. He initially tried to stay with Arrutis at his parent's place; however, they planned on returning to Palaven and forced them to end the relationship. <---Once again with the two above paragraphs is the same thing. You can maybe rework it somehow? Maybe they met on the extranet and were dating long distance or something instead? I don't know. I'm just spitballing here.
With nowhere else to go, Marius went to an Alliance recruiter to join. He got basic training before being placed in a division apart of the Alliance Engineering Corp. His division was responsible for maintaining defenses of colonies located in the Skyllian Verge against pirates and slavers. Whenever he was on military leave, he attended college in Elysium to get a degree in electrical engineering. Thankfully, Marius wasn't on Elysium when it came under attack during the Skyllian Blitz. That attack made him hate pirates and felt like he had to fight back. When he heard of the upcoming battle on Torfan, he requested transform to the 103rd Marine Division. The chain of command approved the transform, and Yanagita left shortly after. <-- The Alliance is a massive bureaucracy, transfers to different divisions don't just happen because you ask nicely. What skills did he have that were essential for Torfan? Why? Would they approve the transfer?
The Battle of Torfan was a bloodbath for the Alliance while a massacre for the pirates on the moon. Hundreds of Alliance soldiers were killed during the push towards the base. <- Not crucially important, but like there wasn't one single base on Torfan that we know of. Instead it was several strongholds built underground, connected through tunnels and the like. Actually maybe that's why he transfered? Engineer's make good sappers/tunnel rats.... Thousands more were wounded, including Marius, who had shrapnel in his legs due to an explosion. It was his first serious injury that he ever got, but he never regretted the decision to join the Marine Division. However, it was a wakeup call. When Marius got his degree, he decided to retire from the Alliance and left for the Citadel. But, civilian life was difficult for him to get back into.
The Citadel was too peaceful for a military man, like Marius, to spend his remaining life. He also didn't have many friends in the Citadel until he met Sertius Quintis. Quintis was a C-Sec officer that met with Yanagita during his break. Both Quintis and Marius were military men who recently retired from the military and went to the Citadel for comfort. Instead, Quintis joined C-Sec to keep himself busy. After some convincing, Marius applied to the C-Sec's Network Division. It wasn't as fun as being part of the Patrol Division, but he knew that his skill would be best suited to deal with E-Crimes.
For seven months, he did his job for the Network Division to the best of his abilities without question. His superiors were impressed with Marius and gave him pay raises. And Quintis became a great friend to Marius. Life was comfortable enough for Marius until he found himself in danger. Members of a powerful Citadel gang found out where Marius lived and planned on killing him.<-Gang's just don't put hits out on people for the fun of it. What did Marius do to piss them off so much? Did he help bust some of them? What happened here? This is an opportunity to further flesh out his career in C-Sec. Maybe him and Quintis found a lead? I don't know. That's for you to find out and tell me! Fortunately, C-Sec arrived at the scene and saved Marius before he was killed. He was taken to the nearest hospital where doctors managed to save his life, but at the cost of his left leg. <- How did his left leg get injured?
After recovering and getting the prosthetic leg, Marius was honorably discharged from C-Sec and forced into another early retirement. He immediately grew bored and announced the decision of leaving the Citadel for Omega to become a mercenary. Marius tried to ask Quintis if he wanted to come with him because he had feelings for him. However, Quintis tried to convince Marius not to become a mercenary because he thought it would have violated everything he has done.
Marius left the Citadel behind shortly after.
For four months, Marius took on a few jobs in Omega while using several aliases and gained a decent reputation for getting the job done despite leaving behind a mess. And whenever he wasn't working, Marius was doing drugs and hooking up with strangers. It got to the point where it became his daily route. Then, he heard that the captain aboard the Achilles was looking for hired help. Marius accepted the offer in the hopes of breaking his pattern by leaving Omega. And of course, he wanted to be paid a lot of credits.
S K I L L S
Marius was a trained Alliance engineer with years of experience under his belt. While in the army, he earned his engineering degree on Elysium and found himself in C-Sec's Network Division. He taught himself how to use both a shotgun and sniper rifle. With the sniper rifle, Marius was an excellent marksman capable of hitting targets far away. <-Sniper's at least in the modern military don't usually just become snipers. They come into the military with marksmen experience that the military then makes sharper. That's kind of the only way, I think I could justify an engineer using a sniper rifle? But then the question would be where did he learn? His mother maybe? Terra Firma does have that gotta be prepared for the eventual alien invasion vibe around them... Yet, he carried a shotgun and a pistol whenever he was on the front lines. For his skills as an engineer, he knows how to repair, restore, and build several things if you give the space and the tools required. His specialty is weapons, armors, prosthetics, and augmentations; but, he does know a few things about fixing ships. Unfortunately, he was a terrible hacker compared to other engineers in the Alliance. It was one of the reasons why the Alliance moved him to the front lines rather than with the other engineers.
Besides combat, Marius found interest in history and took several courses on the subject while in college. Sketching was a hobby that Marius hid from everyone since his childhood. He tried to open up to Quintis, but he was focused on work than having hobbies. <-I like the adding of the hobbies!
E Q U I P M E N T
Naginata Sniper Rifle VIII Hurricane Shotgun IV Nexus omni-tool VII Light Freedom armor VI
A B I L I T I E S
Flamethrower Flashbang Grenade Overload Shredder Ammo
PSYCH PROFILE
T R A I T S
Positive
Independent Loyal Observant
Negative
Anxious Flamboyant Unrest
V I C E S
Drugs
During the first few months as a mercenary, Marius' anxiety and fears started to overwhelm him until he found comfort in drugs. At first, the classic marijuana helped him calm down. Then, he fell in love with party drugs like Hallex; yet, he stayed far away from red sand. And finally, alcohol was something that he rarely drank and only did it socially. Marius didn't do drugs whenever he accepted work or his skills as an engineer were required. He viewed them as his source of comfort instead of sharing thoughts and feelings with therapists. <-This is good! Though my question here is is this still a casual fun thing that you do sometimes, or is it a full blown addiction. Because you make out that he did a lot of drugs for a serious amount of time, and so if he's addicted to some substances, my question would be what kind.
Hookups
Marius' other significant guilty pleasure was one-night stands. Typically, it happened once he finished with work and only did it with men. He either went to their place or invited them over to his small apartment unit. Just like drugs, he found some comfort with them even if it was meaningless; however, it didn't mean he wanted a relationship. Now that Marius was going to be aboard a ship with other people, he knew that these hookups weren't going to be acceptable. It was when he made a vow to limiting and even stopping hookups, but it wasn't going to be easy.
H A U N T
Observation Deck
Even know the Achilles was a small vessel, it had a small observation deck perfect for Marius. The window had a large shutter, which was made out of the same material as the ship, capable of withstanding blasts towards it. Besides the window, there was a round table with comfortable chairs and a large flat screen television. Initially, it was supposed to provide relaxation and relief for crewmembers until Marius arrived. Whenever he was on board, Marius spent his time on the extranet, sketching, tinkering with his leg, or smoking something. However, if someone wanted time alone in the deck or joined him, he respected their request and left towards a different part of the ship. As for the workshop, there wasn't much of Marius' stuff besides a small cactus to lighten up the room.
D R I V E
Marius lost the only family member that he had left because of hatred. He lost the two people that he had ever fallen in love with due to circumstances. The things that kept him going through life were drugs, sex, and combat. Being a part of the Alliance gave him the adrenaline rush that helped him through a rough part of his life. Even being part of Torfan was one of the most exciting moments in his life despite how deadly it was. He attempted retirement at the Citadel but realized that he missed that rush. C-Sec didn't satisfy him at all. It wasn't until he became a mercenary that the rush came back to him. Drugs and having one-night stands helped him contain that need.
But, Marius knew that those things weren't healthy at all. He was afraid of his past coming back to haunt him, fearful of being unable to achieve everlasting love, and petrified of being lost forever. And he thought that it was irreparable.
Alright general summary time!
It's a strong start for a character! There are some problems though which is okay! Appearance section is a little weak. It does the job of describing the character, but I want a little bit more. What does this say about them? Why do they wear what they wear? This goes similarly with the gear and is why, if you look in Kolya's sheet, there is a little blurb after each item. It helps flesh out the character more, helps them feel more realized.
Major problems are in the backstory though. Some elements chronologically don't make sense. Other elements contrast of what we know of the pre-established lore. And other things just kinda state that a thing happens without giving context for it. All in all this your weakest section and I'd say where you need to focus in on the most.
Beyond that though there are some little things here and there that you can see in my comments. That you may want to choose to address.
@Xanadu so, off topic ish but is there gonna be a discord chat?
Most likely yes! After applications are done and the final roster is set in stone. I feel it would be shitty to invite people and then have to kick them later?
@Xanadu From personal experience, it's definitely preferable to start up the Discord after the players are selected and you're starting to organize stuff for the launch. You definitely hit the nail on the head!
Also, can I ask questions about the feedback in private? Just to be sure that we are on the same page? @Xanadu
Yeah if that would help!
@Xanadu also is there, a uh bar on the ship? Like the Normandy had.
I mean like... the haunts section of the CS is for you guys to tell me what is on the ship. Sooooo if you want there to be a bar. There is a possibility.
@Heat Look, as far as I'm concerned, if there's a shelf, it can be a bar.
Let the entire ship's flat surfaces be the bar, especially the cockpit and med bay.
I love that attitude.
<Snipped quote by Heat>
I mean like... the haunts section of the CS is for you guys to tell me what is on the ship. Sooooo if you want there to be a bar. There is a possibility.
(She'll hopefully have artwork sooooonish, I'm still learning to draw but want to take a crack at her.)
⟁ 24 ⟁ Female ⟁ Human ⟁ Vanguard
A P P E A R A N C E ____________________________________________________________________________
Firuzeh stands at about 176cm with a muscular but at first seemingly softer frame that, while not exactly that of a seasoned soldier, shows she is no stranger to exertion. She has relatively smooth olive skin, occasionally marred by scarring and other damage - bullet wounds, miscellaneous damage from an eventful life. If one were to closely examine where skin meets synthetic material on her right shoulder it would become plainly apparent that the arm was not replaced with aesthetics in mind - with heavy duty connections visible protruding from her skin and connecting to the arm, much of the skin around the prosthetic having died off, leaving all latter improvements and additions exposed.
Her right arm has been replaced in its entirety, including the shoulder, with a high quality cybernetic, carbon nanotube muscle fibers plainly apparent where laminated graphene plates do not cover. Rather than hide the appearance of the bionic limb, she flaunts it proudly, even going so far as to have laser etched one of the plates covering the area that would be the bicep with her initials and various other designs. The cybernetics are present elsewhere in her body, but are subcutaneous and far less overt in their effects, primarily skeletal reinforcement to prevent her from breaking her own ribs with the power of the arm.
Firuzeh keeps her hair in a tight braid tucked away while on the job, but in her free time she leaves it loose and flowing. Her hair is dark, wavy, and thick - reaching well past shoulder length. Her left eye is of a minty green hue, warm and friendly for the most part, but years of misfortune have taken their toll, and the effects of her time during and after the Skyllian Blitz are clearly visible. Her right eye is prosthetic and plainly so at close distance. A small scar runs the distance from her lower lip to her chin, a greater scar - evidently a burn - mars the left side of her neck, and her nose is bent at a permanent angle.
B A C K G R O U N D ____________________________________________________________________________
Firuzeh was born in Isfahan, Iran, to a family with a long and illustrious history of working in the medical profession, with accomplishments ranging back centuries, and a few relatives even popping up in medical history books. In fact, joining the medical profession had become such a universal career in her family, with a few black sheep now and then choosing to become generals, inventors, or kebab merchants in Tehran, that the usual response to a baby on the way was to speculate on what discipline the child would enter, rather than the sex or personality of the baby.
From day one, Firuzeh was gently pushed towards medicine, and while she took to the subject fairly well, most children would have had they been steeped in the medical world since the day they could walk. Every family reunion was marked by questions into prospective fields she wanted to enter, if she wanted to visit her aunt’s workplace for a day, or the occasional excessively detailed retelling of a particularly grueling surgery.
But moreso than medicine, she took to history in her early life, from a young age rushing to explore the ancient ruins of past civilizations that dotted the landscape of Iran, near obsessively engrossing herself in books about the civilizations that used to dominate the land, ancient battles that dictated the fates of empires, and more. Far more than any of the numerous attempts to pull her deeper into the medical profession, this love for history engendered a love of learning - about anything - in her, alongside a fierce thirst for adventure and exploration. Exploring the insides of someone’s diseased heart was interesting, but she felt the lure of the unexplored galaxy. When news reached her of the First Contact War - what little she could understand of it at her young age, at any rate - it drove this lust for exploration into overdrive and for a time she completely abandoned any pretense of wanting to be a doctor, instead boldy proclaiming she would be the galaxy’s best explorer - in a couple decades at any rate. Throughout all of the exitement, she lead a mostly normal life like most any other well off child, reading, learning to cook, making friends, and playing games of all sorts.
As she grew older, she was faced with a decision. Deep inside she still longed to explore, but the reality of the world had settled on her shoulders, and she no longer thought exploring the galaxy would be something she could do. She was a city girl with a rich family who’d been groomed for medical work her entire life, not fit to fight in a galaxy chock full of danger and machine guns pointed her direction. Eventually, she followed her family’s lead and was admitted to university early at the age of 16, a classic overachiever, having decided with some mournful resignation that she would become a scientist.
Her life in university was a lonely one, she had no friends to call her own, no social life with which to engage, and the immense pressure of a family that saw the topics she studied as ‘lesser’ in some way. To cope, she buried herself in coursework, taking on mind numbing class schedules and committing almost her entire being to studies. Despite her misgivings, she handled university well, exceeding any and all expectations - earning a PhD in cybernetic neuroscience, a master’s in bionic technology, and her bachelor’s in biomedical engineering within the span of five years. Upon her departure from university, she had at least three job offers in prestigious earth based medical firms. However, she was not content to stay put, and when an opportunity presented itself - a field research opportunity on the colony of Elysium, she jumped at the chance.
She made her way for the colony, eager to begin work that seemed right up her alley. They were there to test out a new generation of cybernetic enhancements on any willing colonists - ordinarily there would have been a push to find colonists willing to undergo augmentation, but the colonies held few transhumanist trendsetters, and primarily they studied a group of colonists already sporting cybernetics. It was an assignment she was greatly excited over, and coupled with the beautiful scenery of Elysium, and it was nearly perfect. She even submitted herself - her right arm being replaced with a bleeding edge, top of the line military grade cybernetic limb. The abilities of the replacement enthralled her, and she found herself doubly committed to the mission of the research team.
She even met nonhumans there, with the occasional turian or Asari popping up, and she forged a friendship with a turian present on the research team, driving her nearly mad with incessant questioning about life on Palaven and Turian cybernetic advances. With said turian as a mostly voluntary guinea pig, she even figured out how to adapt dextro food paste, and actual dextro foods, to Persian recipes she’d learned from her kabab merchant uncle. It wasn’t an exact copy, or anything close to it, but the fact that she could cook with dextro ingredients excited her to no end, like most every other new thing she encountered.
Then the Skyllian Blitz began.
Firuzeh always envisioned herself in the rear in such a scenario, designing bionics for soldiers who were wounded in such action - not seizing a Carnifex off a dead pirate who had made it a little farther than most and rushing to the fight to join in with the fighting. Whenever the pistol overheated she would compensate with biotics. Her family, influential as it was, had ensured she was not packed away to distant training facilities, and as such she had never recieved more than rudimentary training - she had precious little fine control, but plenty of power - at times her target would barely notice, at others her biotics would render a pirate into a fine paste. The bloodshed shocked her at first, but as the fighting wore on she began to take a liking to it, near the end of the blitz taking an almost disturbing joy in killing her fellow living beings. By the end she had aquired a shotgun and developed a fondness for applying the butt of the weapon to the face of any pirate unfortunate enough to close to melee range with her.
However, her luck ran out near the end. A particularly well hidden batarian sniper landed a hit squarely on her, thankfully missing her vital organs, but tearing apart the surface of her leg. She still doesn’t remember much of the incident, beyond a dull impact on her thigh, and waking up on the floor of the lab, her thigh slathered in medi-gel. Her colleagues had saved her life, at great personal risk, with her turian friend risking heavy machine gun fire to bring her bleeding body into the lab, where they provided what medical aid they could for what ultimately amounted to a particularly grisly flesh wound. Despite their objections, she had dragged herself from the lab upon waking to continue the fight, something within her driving her on.
In an ironic twist, her foolhardy decision to continue fighting rather than resting saved her life. Something, she didn’t know what, hit the lab, leaving her home away from home a smoldering ruin strewn with body parts and priceless equipment. She thought the deaths of countless soldiers and pirates had hardened her, but the loss of everybody she had come to love and care for over the months on Elysium hit her like a sledgehammer, and she collapsed next to the burning wreckage, what little energy she had left evaporating in an instant.
She didn’t move from the area for what seemed an eternity before an armored gauntlet grabbed her by the shoulder. Expecting a Batarian, she accepted her fate, dropping the weapon she had been clutching, only to be faced with a tired looking Alliance marine.
Miraculously, she had survived, despite everything. But she had nothing left. No job, no friends - only dull ache and the same thirst for adventure - tinged with a thirst for vengeance now. She had spent a few days recuperating, trying to come to terms with the loss of everyone she had come to know - but it never came. Burying her grief, she staggered out of the blasted battlezone. Something had awakened on the planet, a more bloodthirsty side of her. She enjoyed burying a bayonet into the jugular of a slaver, revelled in the violence. But also a sense of fear over returning home. Her work was destroyed, she had nothing to show for it.
And so she put out feelers for any work, be it legal or otherwise. She had nothing to call home beyond a planet now light years away, a planet that offered nothing but safety and comfort - and dull mundanity. She did not want to hear the murmurs of sympathy, the chastisement that she should have stayed on earth, the empty words from people who had not experienced what she had.
So, on Elysium she stayed - after a brief foray into orbit, helping with the rebuilding and taking whatever odd jobs came her way. She felt a reluctance to return to larger galactic society, and a malaise grew in her soul. She fell through the cracks, falling in with gangs running arms, bodies - and cybernetic technology. They had always been a presence, she knew - but they had not been part of her world. In the aftermath of the Blitz, however, their influence grew, as in the aftermath of any disaster. Her expertise lead to her cementing a steady position in the lower hierarchy, someone who could patch minor wounds - and more importantly, reverse engineer any piece of cybernetic tech she got her hands on. Time passed in a blur, and she lived for months in a cycle of sex, violence, drugs, and exploitation. Things came to a head when, under circumstances that she cannot remember even now, she found herself in an alley, bleeding profusely from gunshot wounds to the torso, and with multiple broken bones. For some reason, she had fallen out with the gang, and their punishment had been severe. Firuzeh counted it a small miracle she hadn’t been shot. As it was, she was left in critical condition, and was rushed into emergency surgery - and into the operating room of a distant cousin. She had saved her life - and the moment Firuzeh awoke, she had lambasted the family member she assumed to be dead, eventually being pulled away by a nurse. But it was obvious what would happen next - her family knew she was alive after all, and she would be returning home as soon as she was fit to walk.
And so Firuzeh returned to earth for a time, at a loss for what to do. She couldn’t fit back in with her family, many of whom thought she had died in the Skyllian Blitz, and her purposeful lack of contact left a rift between them that would never truly heal. She missed the daily thrill of a new challenge every day she had experienced in the research lab, alien sights unseen before… and the rush of combat, the visceral satisfaction of fighting and killing. She sought therapy for a time, trying to reintegrate herself, to suppress the bloodlust that had awoken on Elysium - nothing worked, and she drifted listlessly, contributing nothing to society. For another year, she spiraled into a mire of depression, unemployed and living with family. She was healed within a few months, but her mind was not. She even fell into homelessness in the end - unwilling to dip into her savings, unwilling to divulge to the rest of her family her situation, and unwilling to better herself.
It was then that she received an offer. One through back channels, illicit means, and a stranger accosting her on the street. An… organization on the planet of Chalkhos, in the Terminus systems, claimed to have purchased surviving data from her research team’s work on Elysium over the dark side of the extranet, and sought the expertise of the only known survivor in reconstructing that work. It seemed almost too good to be true after the downhill spiral she had found herself in. With little trepidation, she left earth behind for the second time, and made her way to the lawless expanse of the Terminus Systems.
Almost immediately, Firuzeh began to feel herself at home on Chalkhos. The experiments and research conducted on the planet, while far cry from the pristine and near impeccable scientific and ethical standards of the lab on Elysium, filled her with a purpose she had lacked for so long. And despite the lack of adrenaline surges, the dearth of death defying dashes from munitions depots and flaming wreckage, the old thrill of learning and pushing the boundaries of her own knowledge and skill filled her with enthusiasm for the challenges of each day. Over the two years she worked with the lab, she ended up personally implanting of many of the devices they themselves were prototyping or had developed. Some she applied experimentally, confident in their safety but distrustful of the ability of comparatively uneducated subjects to provide feedback, whilst some were all but finished products. Some were intended to boost performance in stressful situations, moderating heartrate and nervous responses to optimize performance in combat - but the ones that drew her interest were those intending to prolong human life even further. Injections to strengthen the myelin sheaths over nerve cells, implants to optimize the heart and keep it pumping strongly for longer, some implants attempted to store copies of relatively undamaged DNA and counteract accumulated damage over time, and some were purely for vanity - keeping skin softer, wrinkle free. Any implant that showed promise and no side effects she eagerly applied to herself - whether or not they would give her any benefit she didn’t know, but she went with them anyway. She buried away the ethical quandaries their experiments raised - focused solely on the outcome. The ends would justify any means, and she a people lifted from the constraints of biological limitation.
But the good times could not last forever. The lab was an illicit operation funded by a legitimate megacorporation in Council space - genetic engineering, cybernetics research, weapons technology, and even AI. Such things could have landed any of them in prison for several consecutive life sentences, and when Council investigation into their activities had begun, the lab on Chalkhos found itself unceremoniously purged from all records, and all funding ceased to exist.
Unable to continue their work, the research team scattered to the winds, and Firuzeh found herself drifting aimlessly once more. She had money to support herself almost indefinitely - but she needed purpose, or at the very least, something to shoot at.
S K I L L S ____________________________________________________________________________
L-2 Biotic: Initially seeming to have been an utter failure, Firuzeh’s L-2 Implant biotics were, for a time, seemingly all but nonexistant. However, acute stress, and years of practice on her own have yielded powerful biotics - but with precious little controllability. Firuzeh’s biotic abilities are strictly limited to those needing little precision and benefitting most from raw power, and thus complement her aggressive, close quarters fighting style. The Implant may also be responsible for the bloodthirst she suffers from in combat situations. The surgery to replace the implant with an L-3 is immensely risky - and even were it not, she would be unable to relinquish it. Her violent side - if it truly was the manifestation of L-2 ailments, had integrated too deeply with her psyche. Firuzeh doesn’t know if she would be physically able to go through with such a procedure.
Excellent Cook: Unexpected for someone bearing her resume, Firuzeh is an experienced cook and has had over a decade of practice. Primarilly knowing how to make various Persian dishes, she nevertheless knows the basics of most other major culinary traditions - and more importantly, is adept at following extranet cooking instructions and adapting their tastes to many different palates. She is even able to cook using dextro ingredients, long hours spent practicing with various Turian foods giving her some knowledge of their use, and building a resistance, giving her the ability to - if nothing else, taste the food for seasoning before serving without suffering adverse effects.
Cybernetic Science: While her ability to apply her skills in this field is limited without access to a full R&D lab and the right tools, Firuzeh’s extensive knowledge of cybernetics, the (human) nervous system, and how the two interface allow her to perform maintenance and repairs on allies with such hardware.
Close Quarters Fighting: Despite receiving little formal training in the area, Firuzeh has become adept at fighting in hectic close quarters. Favoring a shotgun, a pistol, and the strength of her cybernetic limb, she becomes a bloodthirsty avatar of carnage.
E Q U I P M E N T ____________________________________________________________________________
M-6 Carnifex: It’s a Carnifex.
AT-12 Raider: A short ranged, brutally powerful Batarian shotgun, Firuzeh refuses to divulge the means by which she obtained the item. She nevertheless takes a grim pleasure in using a weapon of Batarian make on Batarian pirates.
HyperGuardian Armor set: Heavy, durable, much easier to obtain that proper military grade heavy armor. Perfect for a bloodthirsty CQC fighter.
Savant Bio-Amp: How she acquired such a rare amp is unknown, though family connections likely had something to do with it.
Logic Arrest Omni-Tool: Only a premium Omni-Tool would suffice for the daughter of a wealthy family.
A B I L I T I E S ____________________________________________________________________________
Firuzeh presents a conundrum. She is quite clearly an inquisitive and formidably intelligent woman, though often withdrawn and introverted. Over multiple sessions, trust was established, and she opened up, showing an animated and very opinionated nature. She harbors a free-spirited rebellious streak, and has gone on many lengthy rants about the nature of various political and economic figures. When asked about events during and after the Skyllian Blitz, however, she refuses to speak.
Further analysis pending.
T R A I T S ____________________________________________________________________________
Positive: Intelligent Analytical
Mixed: Stubborn Bloodthirsty
Negative: Outspoken Emotionally Withdrawn
V I C E S ____________________________________________________________________________
Sex: Like many, Firuzeh turns to the pleasures of the flesh to ease her soul. A habit that began after the Skyllian Blitz during her time in the criminal underworld, she has forsaken the hard drugs that once accompanied it - but not the act itself. Preferring unconnected flings than time with those she knows, seeking not to allow others past her emotional defenses once more.
Gaming: A fan of video games since childhood, Firuzeh can spend hours at a time lost in another world, clearing her mind of the mundanities and troubles of her life. While never an addict, she is vulnerable to brief bouts of obsession, and entire days can pass by almost unnoticed by her.
Chocolate: A far milder vice than some others, ever since her youth she has had a profound weakness for chocolate, and does her best to ensure an ample supply follows her wherever she goes. Fiercely defended like the hoard of an ancient dragon of myth.
H A U N T ____________________________________________________________________________
The Kitchen, Personal Quarters
Firuzeh likes to cook. It calms her, allows her to focus on something that brings her joy, and has something to show for it afterwards. Largely, she will be preparing meals for the crew, putting some effort into tailoring individual dishes to individual tastes while ensuring each crew member receives at least the necessary nutrition. At other times she allows her imagination to run wild, and experiments with spare or exotic ingredients picked up in strange ports - sometimes these experiments bear fruit, and a new staple dish is added to her lineup - at other times it results in almost inedible failures that only a Varren or someone in the grip of starvation would find appealing. Initially sparse, the small but overall perfectly adequate kitchen of the ship has been furnished with high quality tools of the trade - even a set of genuine cast iron skillets - and a generous array of spices, seasonings, and herbs both terrestrial and alien in origin.
Otherwise, she can largely be found in her personal quarters, likely gaming or conducting what little research and development she is capable of with the limited resources availabe.
D R I V E ____________________________________________________________________________
A part of her life from her early teens, Firuzeh has been an ardent transhumanist. Believing that the biological limitations imposed on them could - and should - be transcended by augmenting and replacing parts of their bodies with cybernetics or heavily engineered replacement tissues. It was the driving force behind her choice of education, her employment, and more. Her commitment to this ideal has only increased in the aftermath of the Skyllian Blitz - she wishes to shed herself of the burdens on her psyche, to free her mind and body from everything she has endured during and since that transformative event in her life. She almost seeks to rid herself of her humanity, to flee from the trauma and depression she has struggled with - and to rid herself of the dark side of her being that was awakened on Elysium. Perhaps the side affects of her L-2 implant manifesting at long last, or perhaps some latent part of her own being that simply required a trigger to emerge, Firuzeh battles with a love of violence and bloodshed that terrifies her. And yet, she finds herself propelled along by that same bloodlust - seeking conflict and battles for the sheer joy of killing and maiming. She seeks a way to not only defeat the limitations of biology, but the impositions of her mind.
C Y B E R N E T I C S ____________________________________________________________________________
Firuzeh has a profound weakness to EMP and electrical weaponry, while such weapons will not permanently injure her beyond that of a normal person if she is not subjected to them for long, such an attack will leave her cybernetics temporarily disabled, and she will become all but useless for a minute or two as her systems reboot. Additionally, the plethora of hardware she has installed into herself gives her a metabolism to be feared, and she must consume a prodigious amount daily to keep herself running. She has skeletal reinforcement, primarily in her upper body, enabling her to use the full power of her cybernetic limb, as well as greatly increasing the resistance of her upper body to skeletal damage. In addition to the obvious benefit of her arm, capable of superhuman feats of strength though lacking in miscellaneous features - designed purely for dynamic strength and durability as a combat cybernetic - Firuzeh has implants that modulate her heart, lungs, adrenal glands, and nervous systems, enabling her to respond to combat and general stress more fluidly than normal. Her eye is capable of viewing the world in the infrared and ultraviolet spectrums, and possesses telescopic capabilities, enabling her to focus on targets further away than normal, albeit at the cost of needing to keep the second eye closed. Additionally, her arm has had eezo nodes installed at key points, mirroring those of her own nervous system, enabling her to utilize the prosthetic for biotics as she would her natural arm.
Only time will tell if her implants to slow the process of aging will have any effect, however.
A few things immediately pop out about her just passing by her. First, she’s taller than average for woman at 5’10 but surprisingly lean given she has double rations. Biotics are a hell of a diet. Second, the smell of cigar smoke with undercurrents of alcohol will hit any passersby like a firm but entirely unexpected clap on the back. Lastly, the icy glare set in the bitchiest of resting bitch faces will turn toward them and non-verbally ask what the fuck they’re looking at.
Kaitlyn’s heritage is half Caucasian and half Asian, the latter having taken precedence over her facial features and hair. Specifics are spotty at best but it can be assumed at least one of her parent’s was Vietnamese given her surname. The other half of the family tree gave her a pale complexion but nothing else. Her figure is rather toned from almost a decade of near constant battle, but not as much as other soldiers as she relies more on the strength of her biotics than her muscles.
A tattoo made of three black stripes coils around her right arm starting at her wrist and ending on the side of her neck. Her lower back is marked by 4 grisly scars all about the shape and size of knife stab wounds. She could easily cover those with a full shirt but she seems to be almost permanently attached to those crop top tank tops she always wears along with accompanying long pants. It may seem like a strange combination but according to her her legs get cold easily.
B A C K G R O U N D
”Next person to look at me like I’m a lost puppy while they think I’m not paying attention gets their kneecaps confiscated.”
Things started off bad for Kaitlyn right from the get go. A teenage mother who couldn’t care for the child put her up for adoption. She was passed around from foster home to foster home, never settling down for more than a year with one family and this lack of steady personal attachment set the tone for the rest of her life. Things got a lot easier when she just stopped trying to get attached to others and retreated a bit into herself. This tendency to withdraw only intensified when her biotic abilities began to surface.
She displayed biotic potential at the very onset of puberty. This, of course, set her apart from her classmates and other children in the various neighborhoods she was shuffled between. As is the case so many times with young biotics, her latent power made her a target of both suspicion and bullying from her peers. Even some of her caretakers were noticeably wary around her which she internalized and further shied away from interaction with others.
Her previous experience made it a no-brainer to join the Alliance military’s BAaT program the moment she received her implant. The separation from her most recent caretakers didn’t bother her in the slightest. After all, she barely remembered their names back then. The chance to develop her abilities was exciting, but more than that she couldn’t wait to meet other biotics. Who better to understand her situation than people like her? Perhaps this would finally be a place where she’d feel safe coming out of her shell. Well... you know what they say about assuming...
She responded extremely well to the harsh, almost barbaric teaching style of Commander Vyrnnus and swiftly mastered each and every lesson with seemingly no effort, much to the jealousy of her fellow cadets. Calling Vyrnnus a father figure in her life is an understandably unsavory idea, but not wholly inaccurate. She did eagerly agree to receive an L2 implant at his prompting and took to it without a single complication. Her already impressive ability exploded in strength mere days after such radical brain surgery. It seemed the more Vyrnnus pushed her the more she succeeded and this soon lead to her being placed on a pedestal above the other candidates. It’s bad enough for a teenager to hear “why can’t you be like so and so?” but add the stress of constant physical and mental abuse in the name of being made into a living weapon and resentment was inevitable. The phrase “Why can’t you be more like Đào!?” became a common “motivational tool” of Vyrnnus’.
Understandably, many of her fellow trainees ostracized her. From purposely occupying more seat space than necessary during meals, to never inviting her to join them during down time, they did everything they could to exclude her. More than anything in her life before or since, her experiences being an outcast among those she thought would most understand her struggle hardened her soul and made her the sub-zero bitch she is today.
Her exceptional ability made her a prime candidate for the Alliance’s recovery efforts of the capable biotics the BAaT program managed to turn out before its shutdown. The fat paycheck they offered was rather enticing but mercenary work appealed to her more. At this point in her life, she was disillusioned with the concept of loyalty but surprisingly mismatched people can always come together if enough money is at stake.
She joined up with a mercenary group known as Tempest Cain for 2 years but promptly left after an incident that both gave her the scars on her back and provided the genesis for her alcoholism. Not even her fellow mercenaries who were with her that day know what really happened and she’s never been inclined to share. From there, she bounced from job to job and from place to place for the next 6 years. She worked everything from private security to other mercenary groups, but mostly the latter. Now in her late 20's she finds it easier to navigate a battlefield than the perils of small talk and liquor is her compass.
S K I L L S
> Pistol Marksmanship Biotics are all well and good, but what happens when the user gets tired? Kaitlyn’s answer is to shoot them center mass until either she catches her breath or the other guy stops moving
> Combat Biotics Her experience in this area is extensive to say the least. She was considered a prodigy before she spent 8 years getting paid to clean house with her abilities. To put it simply, her biotic skill and raw power are both staggering.
> Intimidation The aura she puts off is unpleasant at rest, but when she actually tries she can be downright terrifying and she knows it. Her skill in putting the fear of God into someone with a few words and a glare that could smelt ore has come in handy on more than a few occasions.
> Interrogation Let’s just say she’s experienced with using Reave off the battlefield as well and leave it at that.
E Q U I P M E N T
> Armax Armor Predator Armor (L) Being an adept often means high volumes of fire in her direction in combat so she prefers armor with more shielding than plating as she isn’t outside of cover for more than a few moments at a time. Lighter armor also prevents her from tiring quickly which means more powerful biotics for longer. Kaitlyn has completely painted over the standard camouflage pattern with a light tan and turned it into a canvas of sorts. An extensive and detailed tapestry covers the entire right arm, right leg, and most of the upper torso featuring a connected series of images done in black, white, and or red acrylic paint. It might tell a story if anyone could figure out where it began. Perhaps it begins with the human skull impaled through both temples with a single arrow or maybe somewhere near the barb wire rose coiled around a blazing torch.
> GX2 Harpy No one is entirely sure how she managed to get her hands on this Cerberus skunkwork project pistol, but it’s the only firearm she carries into battle and for good reason. The Harpy Line of pistols may lack in heat dispersal, but they more than make up for it with both exceptional accuracy and firepower.
> High Calorie Energy Bars and Electrolyte Juice A 4,000 calorie diet can be hard to maintain and most serious biotics carry some sort of ultra-condensed battlefield rations.
> L-2 Biotic Implant It hasn’t started eating her brain yet so why fix what ain’t broke?
> Armali Council “Prodigy” Biotic Amp Such a high end piece of equipment is normally off limits to the likes of a lowly mercenary but it can also pay to have business partners in low places.
> Aldrin Labs ”Bluewire” Omni-Tool It was cheap, it does exactly what she needs it to. Good enough for her.
> Old Broken Knife Exactly what it sounds like. The edge is dull, the blade is spotted with rust, the tip is entirely broken. She only brings it with her when she leaves the ship, even on shore leave despite never once having been seen even drawing it during combat.
Cigar Smoking She had a stint with more serious drugs back in the day and, after finding they inhibited her combat performance, chose a sort of middle road. Plus she's figured out how to use her biotics to enhance the tobacco buzz which helps her zone out and relax despite her life not being in imminent danger.
Alcoholism Kaitlyn drinks often to keep up a buzz and soothe her mind. She uses it as a sleep aid as well and hasn’t been able to fall asleep without her nightly shot for at least 6 years. Despite meticulous control of her alcohol intake to avoid being drunk, her physical and psychological dependence on it is clear. Interestingly enough, her biotics seem to be enhanced rather than simply maintained when she has a shot of hard liquor before a mission.
H A U N T
The deepest bowels of the engine room is where she stakes her claim. Her "quarters" are about as sparse as can be and only appear to be lived in due to the hammock strung between two pipes. She keeps a yoga mat rolled up in one corner when not in use as well a small, portable workbench complete with tools she uses to tinker with her small assortment of pistols, a cigar humidor, and a case of various liquors including vodka, whiskey, tequila, even a bottle of absinthe if she can find one.
Kaitlyn leaves only a few times a day for things such as bathroom activities, to get food (which she promptly brings back down to her hidey hole to eat), or when called by an officer. She even makes a point of waiting to shower long after everyone else has just to avoid that little bit of social interaction.
D R I V E
In all honesty, she isn’t sure anymore. Survival is an instinct for her at this point. Even if she were to completely let go, she could likely keep herself afloat for years just by reflex. Perhaps if she were to dig deep enough and be honest with herself, she might admit that she secretly hopes someone will give enough of a shit about her to break down her walls and drag her, kicking and screaming, out of the hole she’s dug for herself.