Hidden 5 yrs ago 5 yrs ago Post by Liseran Thistle
Raw
OP
Avatar of Liseran Thistle

Liseran Thistle The Lilac Doe

Member Seen 4 yrs ago






Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Almalthia
Raw
Avatar of Almalthia

Almalthia Friendly neighborhood redhead

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Thank you for your submission@Liseran Thistle. There are a few things that need to be worked on before we can accept this as a viable character. I have included them in a list for you.


  • Short description of looks & style.
    Picture or physical description is required.
  • Simplified report on known skills and estimated levels.
    Courier Sheet does not have designation for Force Powers; If you wished to make an unaligned Force User you will need permission from the GMs. No permission was asked for or granted. Does she posses no other abilities that make her job easier? How does she protect herself? How does she negotiate if she lacks the skills? Was she not trained in basic skills one needs to survive? Did she not have a mentor, parents, family to teach her about basic life skills?
  • How does the character move around in the galaxy? Has she never moved?
  • Quick report on favored employers, associates, contacts and rivals.
    Who are her former employers?
  • Psychological Evaluation of this character is contradictory to the fact that she has no named rivals. She would know who she is sucking up to. She would know who owes her money.
  • Major achievements and failures on record.
    What kind of ship did she steal? Does she still have it?
  • Personal biography, as detailed by the subject for future record. Acquired shortly after last achievement of note.
    While this doesn't have to be a play by play for her life some expansion on who, what and how her world was shaped makes for a more playable character. How did she become an employer? What is the name of her establishment? When did she get it? What was it in her life that helped her along that path? Has she been to other planets? What does she smuggle?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Liseran Thistle
Raw
OP
Avatar of Liseran Thistle

Liseran Thistle The Lilac Doe

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Almalthia

Okay so i edited it a little so now i think I fixed most of the problems with the sheet!
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Almalthia
Raw
Avatar of Almalthia

Almalthia Friendly neighborhood redhead

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Liseran Thistle

  • Skills
    Please use the following guide for your skill levels.
    bit.ly/2UsHJkd
    The reason we ask this is because you will have the opportunity to advance those through role play. If however you do not have levels in these skill you will not be able to raise them nor will the character be approved to advance. If you're using a skill against a player without definition the other player has the right to think they're better than you.
  • Again what is it she is smuggling? Is it limited to something specific? Where does she get the product? Where does she hear about the goods? How does she let people know she has advertise merchandise? You talk about her being her own employer what is the name of her business? When did she get her own business? Wouldn't that be an achievement she'd be proud of? Are her parents still alive?
  • Why has no one come across her in Nar Shaddaa and snatched her up as a quick 1000 in credits for her bounty? Who placed the bounty? From what I'm seeing you're leaving your self wide open for a bounty hunter to snag. That's your prerogative but I see nothing on this sheet that would explain how she hasn't been found.
  • Grammatical errors in the following sentences:
    "The ship wasn't stolen from anyone remarkable or important,it used to belong to a family of merchants who was just unfortunate enough to leave their garage unlocked oe night."
    Space after commas.
  • She's failed at nothing and achieved only one thing in twenty five years? I find this hard to believe with her personality that she wouldn't have a few more here.
  • This ship seems like a very integral part of the character. Where has she traveled on it? Who does repairs? Does she have a crew? Does she have a specific mechanic?
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Liseran Thistle
Raw
OP
Avatar of Liseran Thistle

Liseran Thistle The Lilac Doe

Member Seen 4 yrs ago

@Almalthia

Okay i edited again.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Jackdaw
Raw
Avatar of Jackdaw

Jackdaw

Member Seen 5 mos ago

Approved, thank you for revising.
Hidden 5 yrs ago Post by Ruby
Raw
Avatar of Ruby

Ruby No One Cares

Member Seen 9 days ago

Approved. Enjoyed the updates!
↑ Top
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet