"Why was the skeleton so mean?"
"He didn't have a heart."
- Dad
Old thread: forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?59…
Starring
Amish Pirate as Timothy Oglevee Crompton
Anarion as Annalee Sokolov
Elanorin as Samael Hale
Raz Fox as Elodie Faucher
Sleepshy Rise is a wicked place.
It is a huge and sprawling castle manor, built by the Mad Lord Arret who was promised by an angel1 that he would be able to cure his insomnia if he built a tower here. It seems to have worked - in that Mad Lord Arret stalks the corridors to this day with his eyes shut and a contented smile on his face even as he strangles those who cross his path. Not that you don't have warning these days: one of the 'bonding activities' that every new class is put through is collectively designing a new warning sign/graphic example of the threat posed by the sleepwalking nobleman.
I say 'class' because that is what is being inflicted upon you here - the full version of the statement is Remedial Socialization for the Incorrigibly Malicious. If you screw up - and then you continue to screw up, and you continue to do so in every combination of bold and italics that can be imagined, then you will be sent to Sleepshy Rise to be reformed. What you need to do to be sent to Sleepshy Rise varies - perhaps you were too bloodthirsty, or too evil? Perhaps you disappointed your parents? Perhaps your ungrateful underlings organised a coup and had you sent off in a box? Perhaps the cops just didn't know what to do with you? Maybe you didn't really grasp what the flyer meant by 'night school'? But now you are here it is the angel's job to straighten you out and turn you into model citizens.
(You have seen the graduating classes. All smiles and suits and maybe some fresh scars on their foreheads. The angel likes to talk about how it has never had a repeat offender.)
So there are classes. They are a simpleton's idea of friendship lessons. The concepts of 'sharing' and 'kindness' and 'not sucking the blood from innocent victims in broad daylight while making obscene gestures at law enforcement' are explained in agonizing and condescending detail. There are other classes too, explaining basic facts about the modern world like 'airplanes are not dragons and it is not ok to slay them', and 'Blending In With Kids These Days: From YOLO to Y U NO'. There are regular sporting events so that the inmates can blow off steam and they usually end with someone being mopped up off the floor while the angel gives a lecture about sportsmanship.
The only thing more infuriating than how condescending the angel can be is how wrong it can be. It's ideas about the wider world are not significantly more modern or sane than the average monster's - but you're in its house and it has its rules and nobody will help you if you break them.
Sleepshy Rise has a number of Rules, and the angel is capable of enforcing them should he discover transgressions. It is fortunate that the angel can only be in one place at a time, but it can be stealthy when it wishes.
- No kissing. No romance whatsoever. You animals cannot be trusted with basic human interactions, let alone something as important as love2.
- No leaving. The angel doesn't want to have to come and get you, but it will.
- No sleeping. It disturbs His Lordship and we can't have that3.
Welcome to Sleepshy Rise. We hope your stay is... relaxing.
1: We say 'angel' because it would be very rude to suggest the far more probable alternative.
2: Outside of the How To Love Someone extra-credit course, where the angel will teach you all the fine arts of courtship and chivalry.
3: Most students still need sleep. They just need to find a place to do it where the angel won't catch them. The best spots are occupied by the scariest monsters. The least prestigious students spend their nights in terror.
"He didn't have a heart."
- Dad
SLEEPSHY RISE
A game of Monsterhearts
A game of Monsterhearts
Old thread: forums.giantitp.com/showthread.php?59…
Starring
Amish Pirate as Timothy Oglevee Crompton
Anarion as Annalee Sokolov
Elanorin as Samael Hale
Raz Fox as Elodie Faucher
Sleepshy Rise is a wicked place.
It is a huge and sprawling castle manor, built by the Mad Lord Arret who was promised by an angel1 that he would be able to cure his insomnia if he built a tower here. It seems to have worked - in that Mad Lord Arret stalks the corridors to this day with his eyes shut and a contented smile on his face even as he strangles those who cross his path. Not that you don't have warning these days: one of the 'bonding activities' that every new class is put through is collectively designing a new warning sign/graphic example of the threat posed by the sleepwalking nobleman.
I say 'class' because that is what is being inflicted upon you here - the full version of the statement is Remedial Socialization for the Incorrigibly Malicious. If you screw up - and then you continue to screw up, and you continue to do so in every combination of bold and italics that can be imagined, then you will be sent to Sleepshy Rise to be reformed. What you need to do to be sent to Sleepshy Rise varies - perhaps you were too bloodthirsty, or too evil? Perhaps you disappointed your parents? Perhaps your ungrateful underlings organised a coup and had you sent off in a box? Perhaps the cops just didn't know what to do with you? Maybe you didn't really grasp what the flyer meant by 'night school'? But now you are here it is the angel's job to straighten you out and turn you into model citizens.
(You have seen the graduating classes. All smiles and suits and maybe some fresh scars on their foreheads. The angel likes to talk about how it has never had a repeat offender.)
So there are classes. They are a simpleton's idea of friendship lessons. The concepts of 'sharing' and 'kindness' and 'not sucking the blood from innocent victims in broad daylight while making obscene gestures at law enforcement' are explained in agonizing and condescending detail. There are other classes too, explaining basic facts about the modern world like 'airplanes are not dragons and it is not ok to slay them', and 'Blending In With Kids These Days: From YOLO to Y U NO'. There are regular sporting events so that the inmates can blow off steam and they usually end with someone being mopped up off the floor while the angel gives a lecture about sportsmanship.
The only thing more infuriating than how condescending the angel can be is how wrong it can be. It's ideas about the wider world are not significantly more modern or sane than the average monster's - but you're in its house and it has its rules and nobody will help you if you break them.
Sleepshy Rise has a number of Rules, and the angel is capable of enforcing them should he discover transgressions. It is fortunate that the angel can only be in one place at a time, but it can be stealthy when it wishes.
- No kissing. No romance whatsoever. You animals cannot be trusted with basic human interactions, let alone something as important as love2.
- No leaving. The angel doesn't want to have to come and get you, but it will.
- No sleeping. It disturbs His Lordship and we can't have that3.
Welcome to Sleepshy Rise. We hope your stay is... relaxing.
1: We say 'angel' because it would be very rude to suggest the far more probable alternative.
2: Outside of the How To Love Someone extra-credit course, where the angel will teach you all the fine arts of courtship and chivalry.
3: Most students still need sleep. They just need to find a place to do it where the angel won't catch them. The best spots are occupied by the scariest monsters. The least prestigious students spend their nights in terror.