I feel as though I have no choices in my life, that all of the things I think to myself I might choose between I already know the answer to. That I am resigned to always following a singular path and that the options are illusory to me, that only pursuing that which is instinct, intuition, is all there can or will be. I am comfortable in this.

I want to go to the beach.

My favorite band is the Rolling Stones!

Tomorrow will mark one month since I flew across the United States and somehow, miraculously, did not catch coronavirus.

I like plain or extra cheese pizza.

I have to much facial hair for a 15 year old.

at one time, I would leave my tv on with nick jr or something to put me to sleep at night. lol

seriously, it worked. I got so bored I would just fall asleep.

I have insomnia and have to take melatonin to go to sleep, and you literally can't get the form I need above the counter in Britain, so I get a shit ton whenever I visit the states.

I had a problem where I could not sleep unless I had some kind of noise in the background, like the tv or a radio or something. no joke.

Oh yeah, I sleep way better with white noise in the backgoround.

I sleep lightly and most anything will disturb me. It is not uncommon for me to awaken at even distant sounds.

I'm a super, super heavy sleeper. Apparently I once slept through the paramedics taking my aunt to the hospital, to which they were amazed that I slept through all that noise. Or so I've been told.

I have to make up stories in my head to fall asleep at night, or I just start thinking about things I have to do the next day, etc.. and then I never fall asleep.

Got fired from my old job and immediately hired by another one within an hour apart.

My wife left to go shopping this morning. A few hours later, I found about a dozen or more bags of groceries in the garage. My immediate response was the wife stopped at the house and dropped them before going someplace else. I had the kids help me bring them inside. One bag contained two 2-liter bottles of Dr. Pepper; my son's favorite. As I was unpacking the bags, I realized this was not our food. There were items there, my wife just does not buy. I called STop & Shop and told them what happened. They said it was supposed to go to a neighbors house; about a half mile up the street. They would send someone by to pick it up. I put the groceries back out in the garage to be picked up. I made my son carry the Dr. Pepper out, laughing all the time. He hated me for that. LOL So, Stop & Shop came and picked up the groceries to bring them to their intended recipient. Then an hour later, some Russian guy shows up telling me he delivered a "Shower". I had no clue what he was talking about. I could barely understand him through his accent. It was very thick. I told him I never ordered a shower and I didn't know what he was talking about. He pointed to the spot on the ground where the food had been and I asked, "Do you mean the food that was here?" He said yes. I laughed. I have no idea how food could be misinterpreted as Shower. I finally was able to communicate that a Stop & Shop Peapod truck came and picked up the food and brought it to the right house.

Multiple times a take out place me and my family ordered from would mess up one or two orders...the same place. no joke. twice I ordered cheese fries and either they forgot the cheese sauce or I got onion rings by mistake instead. lol

My parents forgot my birthday this year.

Well I've shared birthday facts before. But I didn't see me mentioning what my parents "got me" for my birthday for the first or second year I was on my own? Where "the thought that counts" and "better than nothing" turn both into inaccurate statements.

Two things. A rusted MPH sign. (Your guess for why is as good as mine.) And the 2nd was a dusty Pillsbury Doughboy Cookie Jar, that they also had to know I'd never use. (Because I was slightly overweight at the time? Nice sentiment, ain't it?)

And I don't know if it makes it worse that these things were supposedly bought at an antique store, versus random junk they pulled out of their garage. But to end on a more happy note, my tradition of my circle of friends celebrating each others birthdays is still going strong.

I think I'm little more than a punchline on multiple levels

I once slept through my entire garden burning down and the fire service putting it out.