R2's Character Sheet Gallery Extravaganza — Roleplayer Guild

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Hidden 4 yrs ago → 4 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2

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[color=colorofyourchoice]C H A R A C T E R N A M E[/color]
Marc Spector, 26-27 (b. 1952-54)
Based in LA, California
Active since approximately _____


Character Concept
[hr.]
In the early days of the Vietnam war a unit of American Soldiers got lost in the dense growths of Vietnam. The group happened upon a large farm house with clear signs that more than just a single family was living there. After resting, the troop's leader came across something stunning; a small collection of pure gold statues and jewellery hidden away under the home. At that time the residents of the building returned; a large collection of women donned in silver. They were understandably angry with the foreigners breaking into their abode. Seeing the potential profit from the found score, one of the troop members decided the loot was theirs for the taking. Wanting out of the war and into the lap of luxury, Ronald Bushman fired on his comrades and the women. Bushman took the group by surprise and managed to single handedly take the farm house with most of his previous troop fleeing and carrying each other back into the brush. One of the few left behind troop members was instead taken away by the remaining women to a small cave not to far from the house. 

The women fully intended to take their revenge on the wounded soldier, an outlet for their anger towards the one that took their home. However, before too much harm was done the priest spoke up and put a stop to the act. Feeling their anger was mostly aimed at the wrong man, the priest declared that their deity Lieu Hanh had declared him to be a champion of hers and to help the tribe. At this declaration the soldier's heart finally gave out. In his near death state the man had a vision; he was on the surface of the moon with a bald woman bearing ash white skin and red eyes. She reiterated what the priest had said, bestowing the mission to the soldier to destroy the evil of the world and protect the good. After noticing the man's slipping consciousness the women who had been holding the bloody and broken man dropped him, restarting his heart. In the next day he was nursed back to relative health until the reappearance of Bushman at the cave. 

Having packed up all the trinkets he could carry, he now came in search of a guide and any other treasures housed in the cave. Rather than that, Bushman found his felled brother in arms donned in a silver cloak and hood. The pillager brought his gun up to fire once more as the soldier raced for Bushman. By shear luck the gun jammed, giving the soldier enough time to get close and and bash Bushman with a small statue dedicated to Hanh. The fight was bloody but short. Both combatants were running on empty and in the end both fell to the forests floor though only one was left living. 

The soldier woke up days later in excruciating pain in an American camp. His doctor told him he was delivered to the camp by some locals who left in a hurry after leaving him and some possessions, of which included many of his missing troop's dogtags, a bloodied statue and the cloak they'd found him in. When asked to recount the events the soldier told his doctor he couldn't remember the events of the last few days and most of his life at that point. Whether from shell-shock or wounds, the soldier couldn't seem to recall much more than his name. As such Marc Spector was sent home in light of his injuries and hampered mental facilities. 

The Spector family threw a party to welcome their blood home, shilling over a small fraction of their 'old money' to give the man the best of the best in plastic surgery, coming out nigh identical to before his conscription. Spector had only vague memories of the family around him but was grateful to be home nonetheless. Marc Spector's life was a good one after the serving his time though at night he couldn't help but feel empty, staring at the statue trinket left with him by his supposed saviours in overseas. This continued for a few months before Hanh returned to Marc in his dream. Giving him a grace period to heal properly, Hanh gave her demands to her champion once more, jogging his memory. Literally overnight Marc Spector bid farewell to his family as he planned to move to California. His parents didn't like losing their son again but were content with having him in country.

While being driven to his new home, Marc pondered how he could go about following the will of Hanh. As if by divine intervention the radio came on about about a masked vigilante in Gotham City taking down criminals in the dead of night. This snippet was enough to inspire Marc to take up his carefully packed away cloak and make a vigilante persona of his own. Inspired by his first meeting with his patron, Marc took up the mantle of Moon Knight and took to cleaning up the streets of LA.

[youtube]youtube of your choice/moodmusic[/youtube]

Detail your concept/goals/etc here.

Key Notes
[hr.]
List important notes, dates/events, characters, and other things central to your character. Be as thorough as you want or need to.

References / Sample Post
[hr.]
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Hidden 4 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2

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The Iron Man
Anthony Edward Stark, 26-27 (b. 1952-54
Based in Miami, Florida
Not yet active


Character Concept
[hr.]
Stark Industries was one of the primary weapon manufacturers for the United States government which cemented its place in the American market for years to come. From this continued collaboration came a great deal of wealth to Stark family which greatly shaped the views and beliefs of a young Anthony Stark. With great power came a lot of money to be made and that was the mantra Stark took into his reluctant take over of Stark Industries when his parents were killed in a car accident. Where many thought the young business owner would fail, he instead soared bringing the company into a new golden age of business with R&D projects headed by Stark himself. 

With this success came a lot of booze, money and enemies which cumulated after a demonstration done in a supposed safe zone of Vietnam. During the war Stark was onsite showing off a competitor to the Howitzer artillery cannon. During the demonstration the camp was attacked and Stark fled only to run into a booby trap and get knocked unconscious. When awoken, Stark was in a cave only kept company by his university inspiration Ho Yinsen. He also noticed the large metal chest plate he was wearing. Before Stark could take it off, Ho explained their situation; the chest plate constructed by Ho was now the only thing keeping deadly shrapnel away from Tony's heart. He relayed their captors orders that Stark was to build and manufacture weapons for them now. Initially Stark complied, beginning construction but as his body healed his mind began to look for a way out. Hidden in plain sight the duo of Ho Yinsen and and Tony began to construct a suit of armour to be used as their vessel of escape. 

What they created was a mechanical nightmare, barely functional but enough to accomplish their goals. The most stunning aspect of the device was it's ability to fool Tony's captors into believing it was some form of artillery. The fateful night finally came for the suit to have its maiden voyage. Tony suited up and the duo began the start up procedure, charging the capacitors while their captors lay unaware. In a burst of chaos Tony broke free from his confinement with Ho following behind. Tony was a one man army as he laid waste to the camp he had been kept in, leading Ho to their freedom. The two managed to get to the edge of the camp before Ho was shot through the gut from a ricochet off the armour. After a few words Tony left his friend who in turn tried to hold off the encroaching forces. 

After an hour of sporadic 

[youtube]youtube of your choice/moodmusic[/youtube]

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Key Notes
[hr.]
List important notes, dates/events, characters, and other things central to your character. Be as thorough as you want or need to.

References / Sample Post
[hr.]
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Hidden 4 yrs ago → 4 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2

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U.S.Agent
Johnathan Walker, 23 (b. 1945)
Based in America
Active since the winter of 1967

Character Concept

Johnathan Walker was a natural born soldier. As soon as he was old enough John enlisted to serve his country in the Vietnam war, attempting to live up to reputation of his older brother currently serving over seas. John was largely kept away from the brunt of the action during the war, missing most potential conflicts by hours to his own chagrin. Despite this he continued to serve dutifully until one misstep lead to one of his brother-in-arms being blown to smithereens and lodging a hunk of metal in his spine.

John woke up back in the United States sore all over aside from his legs. The news that he wouldn't walk again was a hard pill to swallow for the super patriot. With an honourable discharge, John went back to live with his parents once again as he came to terms with his new reality. In his time at home John spent his days doing two things; taking a shot in the dark at rehabilitation exercises and speaking with his parents on the current state of the country. These conversations lead to John's conversion to his parents new political leanings. While John protected their country overseas, his parents had taken up to fight domestically by joining and showing their support of a new political party; The You-Men. A group believing that the country needs a better defence against the mutant threat. 

The You-Men were the distraction that John needed to get him out of his funk. He began volunteering at events, handing out flyers and really immersing himself within the group. With his devotion to the cause, John was approached with an opportunity by one of the higher ranking members of the group. With the initial success but recent dissatisfaction with the Captain America mantle, the You-Men wanted to try to reinvigorate the idea with their own spin. As such they had been making their own attempts at a super-soldier of their own. John was offered the position of You-Men poster child and in return they would give him back the use of his legs and then some. The former soldier was skeptical in the moment but the chance to walk again was too much to give up and he accepted.

In the coming days John was prepared for his procedure via psychological screenings, physical check ups and a morality test. After all of the preliminaries were out of the way, John was blindfolded and taken to their research facility. With the blindfold taken off, John saw the bland looking facility in the middle of nowhere that housed his ticket to unhindered locomotion again. Brought inside, John was met with a bustling facility full of men and women moving between rooms and giving reassuring smiles to the soon to be superhuman. Finally the trek ended in a a room housing what could only be described as a sarcophagus with tubes running into it. After being put into a hospital gown, John was helped into the stone rectangle and sealed inside. The next thing John knew he was in a very familiar scenario; sore and in a hospital bed within the facility. They key difference was the soreness in his legs. Despite the pain, John got to his feet like a baby deer and hobbled around in a state of ecstasy.

In the coming weeks John was trained in how to fight using a shield akin to Captain America and how to properly interact with the public. Now Johnathan Walker works as the U.S.Agent, spokesperson for the You-Men and professional crime fighter.

I want to have John come to blows with some pretty par for the course enemies of patriotism such as communist sympathizers and at some point trying to show up the new Captain America back in Vietnam. However, under the surface I want there to be conflict with the supernatural. John's a man who, despite knowing about the super heroes of the world, is completely ill prepared for some of the magical aspects of the world still at play. I plan on having him throw hands with cults, demons, wizards and the like. I'd like to aim for a dark tone overall with a bit of slapstick humour sprinkled throughout the posts (contrary to popular belief, I don't like taking myself too seriously). From a more character driven standpoint I'd like to have John struggle with trying to sway people to a cause he begins to doubt while trying to do good with the platform given to him.

I also want to expand his armoury and (to a lesser extent) his powers as he gets more popular and his You-Men get more funding and footing.

Key Notes

List important notes, dates/events, characters, and other things central to your character. Be as thorough as you want or need to.

References / Sample Post

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Hidden 4 yrs ago → 4 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2

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Test
test

Hidden 4 yrs ago → 4 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2

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CODENAME: TYRANNOSAURUS 
Rex Strickland, 20 (b. 1948)
Currently Based in Vietnam
Active since approximately 1967

Character Concept

The second world war was over, the allied forces had won and began the arduous process of routing out those who still held some power in the Nazi party as well as dismantle or repossess their weapons of terror. Some of this work was outsourced to private companies, one of which being the specially established Life Foundation; a group or mercenaries and scientists trained in wiping out Nazi forces that have hunkered down after the war and study any potential experimental weaponry left behind. On one such expedition to a frozen outpost located in the arctic circle, the away team came across a scene of absolute Carnage. Body parts all over, bullet holes and, scorch marks adorned the halls of the concrete bunker though no signs of survivors were found. Descending deeper into the building, the team eventually found the reason for the building’s remote location; the concrete gave way to the excavation site of a massive dark form frozen within the ice. From there on in the outpost became the primary focus of the Life Foundation, reverse engineering what the Nazi’s had discovered there and how they might be able to utilize it in the future.

Skip ahead to 1967 and Rex Strickland is drafted into the Vietnam War. The young 19 year old wasn’t a fan of the war itself but believed he could do some good in the position he now found himself thrust into. He took to basic training as well as anybody else and did his best to keep himself and his squamates alive. This culminated in him sacrificing himself to save his squad by holding down a choke point against insurmountable forces. The battered and bullet ridden Rex was brought to a field hospital, getting kept alive by duct tape and morphine where he was approached by a representative of the Life Foundation on behalf of the US government. They had a new joint project with the US government to help improve their soldiers using slivers of the dark mass frozen in the Life Foundation’s outpost. Any info about previous tests were on a need to know basis and it was deemed that Rex didn’t need to know. Under normal circumstances Rex was told he would die in a few days else live a long and painful life. Seeing the choice as more of a donation of his body to science, Rex agreed to whatever procedures the Life Foundation wanted to try in an attempt to help turn the tide of the war. Rex Strickland took on the codename of Tyrannosaurus and became the the first successful wearer of the organic, symbiotic armour. Now, along with his other Sym-Soldiers, Rex continues his fight in Vietnam. However, soon Rex’s fight will be on two fronts; in Vietnam and against unspeakable forces.

Absolute Carnage and King in Black rock. Admittedly I haven’t read through most of the issues but I think that’s a good thing. I want to take the elements I liked from the storylines and stretch/flesh them out into a quasi-original story. On the note of parts I liked, Rex Strickland seemed really under used in my opinion (symbiotic and the original) so I’d like to give him some lime-light considering I think he’s so cool and not many really remember him… plus his origins are all in the Vietnam war so to me it seems like a no brainer to use him. I’ll also be incorporating some more popular Venom storylines a bit as well such as merging Rex’s canonically (to my knowledge) unnamed Sym-Soldier comrades with the original life foundation symbiotes. I’d like to keep most of more detailed story lines close to heart but I’d like to start things off with some more villain of the week baddies in Vietnam before quickly diving into some more eldritch-symbiotey stuff ala King in Black and Absolute Carnage. 

Key Notes

Leslie Gesneria (Codename: Agony): Demolitions expert. Leslie’s Symbiote allows her to lob specially crafted grenades long distances and scarily accurately. Additionally with her own chemical prowess and her symbioses ability to combine, house and, redistribute chemicals, Leslie can cook up the right explosive for the job on the fly.

Carl Mach (Codename: Phage): Recon. Carl specializes in scouting ahead and not getting seen. His suit manages to enhance his senses to a great degree and he claws increase his lethality at close range or scaling a tree to quickly hide.

Trevor Cole (Codename: Riot): Mobile Defensive positioning. Not exactly fulfilling a standard position in the squad, Trevor acts as a one man tank in the dense jungles. With unmatched strength and the ability to contort his suit into various forms of shielding, Trevor makes sure his squaddies can get into an altercation and get out on their time.

Carlton Drake (Codename: Lasher): [Primarily] Aviations. Despite the proposed lethality of Drake’s suit’s extra appendages, the main use if Carlton’s Symbiotie is to assist in the operation of vehicles that would normally require more than one person. Additionally the suit reacts faster than Carlton’s normal reflexes which makes him a major danger to any enemies trying to out maneuver him in anything that moves.

References / Sample Post

Sample Post from Previous App

Hidden 4 yrs ago → 1 yr ago Post by rocketrobie2

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C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T   P R O P O S A LThe Nostalgia Critic

Doug Walker  ♦   Critic  ♦  Illinois  ♦  Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T:

”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“

Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.

C H A R A C T E R   M O T I V A T I O N S   &   G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic   is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!

C H A R A C T E R   N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that

S A M P L E   P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.

P O S T   C A T A L O G:
Coming Soon!
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C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T   P R O P O S A LThe Nostalgia Critic

Doug Walker  ♦   Critic  ♦  Illinois  ♦  Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T:

”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“

Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.

C H A R A C T E R   M O T I V A T I O N S   &   G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic   is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!

C H A R A C T E R   N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that

S A M P L E   P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.

P O S T   C A T A L O G:
Coming Soon!


C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T   P R O P O S A LThe Nostalgia Critic

Doug Walker  ♦   Critic  ♦  Illinois  ♦  Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T:

”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“

Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.

C H A R A C T E R   M O T I V A T I O N S   &   G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic   is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!

C H A R A C T E R   N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that

S A M P L E   P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.

P O S T   C A T A L O G:
Coming Soon!


C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T   P R O P O S A LThe Nostalgia Critic

Doug Walker  ♦   Critic  ♦  Illinois  ♦  Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T:

”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“

Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.

C H A R A C T E R   M O T I V A T I O N S   &   G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic   is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!

C H A R A C T E R   N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that

S A M P L E   P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.

P O S T   C A T A L O G:
Coming Soon!


Charlie Henshaw; Private Investigator


Name
Charlie Henshaw

Age
26

Personality Traits
Charlie tries to keep a professional demeanour when on the job which is most of the time as a private investigator. When in a more casual setting Charlie really likes to cut loose, a stark contrast to his serious facade. He draws a strong satisfaction from completing assignments, especially those with an air of mystery to them.

Backstory
Charlie grew up in a very strict household. His parents pushed him to be the greatest he could be but any love behind the gesture was lost on Charlie who only had his confidence broken down by the constant pressure and belittlement. Charlie found a release after he got his driver’s license, giving him an out from his household. His grades began to slip and pretty soon Charlie was graduated with no intention of moving on with his education. 

After high school Charlie moved out and away, wanting to put as much room between him and his parents as he could. He worked odd jobs, traveling across America until he settled in Virgil’s Grove. After settling into his new home city, Charlie took an online course while working as a waiter to get his PI license, taking the job simply because he thought it might be a cool gig. That cool gig has lasted him the last six and a half years. Now with the infection running rampant, Charlie follows the suggestion of getting out of dodge. However, as soon as Charlie was safe he began to think on the situation a little more, figuring it was weird that such an average place would be the ground zero for the living dead. These thoughts are what eventually lead him to joining up with others to head back into Virgil’s Grove.

Other Info
Charlie’s physically fit and has the patience of a saint, both aspects needed to be a good private investigator. His main strength though is his investigative prowess.


C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T   P R O P O S A LThe Nostalgia Critic

Doug Walker  ♦   Critic  ♦  Illinois  ♦  Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T:

”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“

Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.

C H A R A C T E R   M O T I V A T I O N S   &   G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic   is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!

C H A R A C T E R   N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that

S A M P L E   P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.

P O S T   C A T A L O G:
Coming Soon!


C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T   P R O P O S A LThe Nostalgia Critic

Doug Walker  ♦   Critic  ♦  Illinois  ♦  Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T:

”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“

Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.

C H A R A C T E R   M O T I V A T I O N S   &   G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic   is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!

C H A R A C T E R   N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that

S A M P L E   P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.

P O S T   C A T A L O G:
Coming Soon!

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Bio

Formula D: Sunset City

Variety is the spice of life and no place on Earth exemplifies this saying more than Sunset City. A bustling metropolis known for being a seamless melting pot of various cultures and ethnicities with a general acceptance of everyone’s differences. The city would be pretty idyllic if not for the dangerous plague that washes over the city come nightfall.

The warm glow of our star is replaced with the erratic, artificial headlights from the cities multitude of street racers looking to carve out their own legend. Some race for money, some for glory, and some race just to pass the time but the end goal is always the same; hordes of speed freaks slamming their pedals to the metal in an attempt to be the best.

Howdy folks, I’m looking to do a slice-of-life sandbox street-racing RP paired with the board game Formula D (what a mouth full!). My plan is to give the character’s free reign to write stories about their character’s escapades in Sunset City and help flesh out the location while I help carry out their storylines with them and maybe drop some story threads for people to pick up if they want. Ideally I’ll be pretty hands off in the more personal-side of stories but if you want me running an NPC for you let me know and we can hash something out.

Taking place at the same time as the slice-of-life stuff, I’ll be running the board game side of things (I’ll be providing a little rule booklet on how to play the game) in the character tab. I’ll post a picture of the track and update positions as rounds go on in order to clear up confusion. We’ll also probably limit races to smaller stints of the tracks in order to make sure no race goes on too long. Playing tabletops on forums is always a little slow and I’d like to keep locations interesting (that being said, if we’re powering through races then I’m fully ok with using the whole track and even going multiple laps if people want to).

Here's the rule booklet for you to look over plus a bunch of custom maps that I'll probably draw from for our street races (credit to Peter Löhlein). Glad you checked to see if the game is your cup of tea and if not thanks for reading this far!

Hidden 3 yrs ago → 3 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2

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C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T   P R O P O S A LGRID

NONE   ♦   NONE   ♦   5   ♦   CYBORG
C H A R A C T E R   C O N C E P T:

”HAVE A NICE DAY.“

Victor Stone, while not a founding member, has become pivotal to the operation of the Justice League. His ability to interface with technology made running the Watchtower a breeze but with so much responsibility Vic knew he couldn’t do it all on his own. The Grid was originally a set of subroutines Vic set up to take care of the more mundane tasks he didn’t need to be consciously aware of (in depth personal repair reports, teleport calibration, etc) but as time went on Vic added more subroutines and the Grid was damaged by the menagerie of hackers and viruses Vic would contend with on a day to day basis. 

The core degradation of the Grid came to a head during the League’s battle with The Crime Syndicate; an evil reflection of the Justice League. In the midst of their fight Victor’s cybernetics tore themselves away from Victor and began to fill in its gaps with other tech, creating the haunting visage of a now sentient Grid. The heroes and villains continued to fight over the coming days as the Syndicate along with Grid did their best to take over this Earth. As with most stores though, the bad guys lost and Grid was nearly completely destroyed. The remaining parts were claimed by the U.S. Government and sent off to dismantled properly. This did not happen. Instead Grid’s body was rebuilt with a high grade explosive placed near his main memory banks and a multitude of worm programs were implemented into his code, able to wipe out the robot’s programming in seconds. Now Grid stands in his cell, confined to his shell of a body, only to be activated when on a mission for the aptly named Suicide Squad. 

A B I L I T I E S:
 Strong as Steel: Grid is an absolute machine capable of taking just as much punishment as he can dish out. That’s not so say he’s invisible, far from it, and a good slug from a strong metahuman is more than enough to send some scrap flying off the metal-man. 

Technopath Savant: Being a machine also come with the advantage of a nigh perfect memory (of which is admissible as evidence in court) and ability to get a better feel for machine when hacking into them. Grid can directly interface with nearly any machine and bring it under his control though sometimes this leaves him a sitting duck in meatspace or vulnerable to hackers in cyberspace.

Walking Light Show: From his body, Grid can reshape some of his mass to create weapons, usually of the beam variety. Forming his forearm into a cannon is usually his go to as that was also the go to of his progenitor Cyborg but Grid isn’t above getting medieval with axe blade hands or swords from the wrist. 

C H A R A C T E R   M O T I V A T I O N S   &   G O A L S:
Coming into this I had two-ish rules for myself when choosing a character. I wanted to either; pick a character that was a doppelgänger of a hero and relatively unknown B or C lister. Grid definitely fits the bill on the doppelgänger side of things and he’s not well known enough that I’d consider him a B-lister (maybe a C-lister). Grid’s always been cool to me because he’s one of the extremes for what could happen to a hero, a dark future almost. I plan on running with this idea that Grid’s one of the extremes of Victor Stone but actively trying not to be. I know it’s a bit cliche at this point to have a robot trying to understand and/or emulate emotions but it wouldn’t be a cliche if people didn’t enjoy it (ie. me). Like in the comics I’ll have Grid be pursing the development of emotions while working on Task Force X though not in the standard “gotta understand love” way but more so related to negative emotions. Grid will know he’s in a crap situation and try to build his emotions around why he should feel like crap if that makes any sense. Role wise Grid would definitely fit the techie archetype but could also fit into the bruiser category a little with his enhanced strength. 

C H A R A C T E R   N O T E S:
When not on mission, Grid’s body will be completely immobile and basically sitting in storage, waiting for another suicide mission. When in custody, Grid has access to a closed network in Belle Reve where he can be spoken to from a small intercom just outside his cell.

Unless I screw up and forget I’m going to try to have Grid end every convo, finisher and insult with his catch phrase “HAVE A NICE DAY” since I’m an absolute sucker for speaking ticks in RPs. 

R E L A T I O N S H I P S:
LOADING . . .

Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by rocketrobie2

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Tread-Head


Name
Trent Miles

Age
24

Gender
Male

Appearance: Image or description, I'm not picky. Be sure to mention any physical transformations here.

Short Backstory
Trent's life was pretty mundane up until his Eruption. He found a job he enjoyed enough to stick with in being a tire monkey at a local tire shop. Changing, repairing and, checking tires was pretty mundane work but that was good enough for Trent, he never had any delusions of grandeur. His life would have continued on that way probably if a disgruntled customer hadn't tried to run Trent down with their car after feeling the price for the work done was too much.

Trent's eruption triggered right as he struck the ground, he body bending to odd angle and degrees but Trent himself feeling very little pain. When he got back to his feet, Trent found his body was now completely made of rubber. After the initial shock wore off, Trent got back to work. However, with his new abilities Trent's begun to get ideas. Out there ideas of using his powers to do good for his community and maybe, just maybe, become famous from it. 

Personality: Trent has no mental transformations from his eruption except maybe a boost in confidence. Tread-Head is about as normal as they come aside from his abilities but after his eruption, Trent figures he might be able to make it big as a local celebrity slash hero. He isn't too cocky but he definetely has confidence in his abilities.

Nova Identity: About the only facet of Trent that's kept a secret is his name and even then it's not hard to figure out. Trent doesn't have much going on in his personal life and didn't really want the stress of a alter-ego. Tread-Head is a pretty open book who's costume consists of nothing but a pair of jeans and a belt (shorts if it's really warm out).

Nova Powers:
Mega-Might (****): 
Mega-Stamina (**):
Mega-Resolve (**):
Dense Flesh (*):
Density (****):

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