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Gem: Agate
Name if your gem goes by a different name: Agastus
Appearance:
His gem is in between his massive pectorals.
Powers:
-(4/4)Gem beam: Agastus can fire a massive beam of pure energy from his gem. It's been observed rendering an oncoming meteor to ash
Items: Two Ornate Raipers (summonables), a necklace with shattered gem pieces on it.
Backstory: Not much is known about the Agate anomaly known as Agastus. He was discovered by a scouting team who were on a routine check up of long discontinued Kindergardens where he was observed fighting off other such feral gems. He has since become a force to be reckoned with in the Yellow Diamond Army.
Anything extra you'd like to add:
OP
rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
Member
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10 days ago
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
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The Nostalgia Critic
Doug Walker ♦ Critic ♦ Illinois ♦ Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“
Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that
S A M P L E P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.
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C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
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The Nostalgia Critic
Doug Walker ♦ Critic ♦ Illinois ♦ Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“
Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that
S A M P L E P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.
P O S T C A T A L O G:
Coming Soon!
OP
rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
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10 days ago
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
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Plastic Man
Patrick “Eel” O’Brian ♦ Flex Armstrong Quality Inspector ♦ Mammoth, Montana
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Plastic Man, boo-yeah!“
Pat’s life has been a hard but manageable one. With a nasty but ever present family life and an almost non-existent, Eel’s life took a morally dubious turn early on in life which consisted largely of being a juvenile delinquent and barely turning his life around a little later in life. The main claim to fame that the town of Mammoth had was it’s Stretch Armstrong factory, one that had been the cornerstone of the local economy since the 90s. Naturally Eel found himself employed there after trying to turn a straighter edge.
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
Honestly the main reason I’m applying with Plastic is because a certain someone said it’d be a good fit for me. I’ve been a HUGELY passive fan of Plastic Man ever since I first discovered him watch Brave and the Bold when I was little and subsequently read up on him in my DC encyclopedia. I’ve had quite a few characters that I’ve wanted to write for a while but just haven’t because I felt I couldn’t do them justice. Now I’m coming to realize that sounds stupid and I should just go for it and give it a shot.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
Any additional notes you want to put either for yourself, the GM's or other players to help clarify your vision or continuity.
S A M P L E P O S T:
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy. “I’m thinking about doing something stupid-“
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
P O S T C A T A L O G:
ISSUE NO.1 coming soon!
OP
rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
Member
Seen
10 days ago
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
![]()
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Plastic Man
Patrick “Eel” O’Brian ♦ Flex Armstrong Quality Inspector ♦ Mammoth, Montana
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Plastic Man, boo-yeah!“
Pat’s life has been a hard but manageable one. With a nasty but ever present family life and an almost non-existent, Eel’s life took a morally dubious turn early on in life which consisted largely of being a juvenile delinquent and barely turning his life around a little later in life. The main claim to fame that the town of Mammoth had was it’s Stretch Armstrong factory, one that had been the cornerstone of the local economy since the 90s. Naturally Eel found himself employed there after trying to turn a straighter edge.
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
Honestly the main reason I’m applying with Plastic is because a certain someone said it’d be a good fit for me. I’ve been a HUGELY passive fan of Plastic Man ever since I first discovered him watch Brave and the Bold when I was little and subsequently read up on him in my DC encyclopedia. I’ve had quite a few characters that I’ve wanted to write for a while but just haven’t because I felt I couldn’t do them justice. Now I’m coming to realize that sounds stupid and I should just go for it and give it a shot.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
Any additional notes you want to put either for yourself, the GM's or other players to help clarify your vision or continuity.
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy. “I’m thinking about doing something stupid-“
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
P O S T C A T A L O G:
ISSUE NO.1 coming soon!
OP
rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
Member
Seen
10 days ago
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
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The Nostalgia Critic
Doug Walker ♦ Critic ♦ Illinois ♦ Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“
Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that
S A M P L E P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
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Plastic Man
Patrick “Eel” O’Brian ♦ Flex Armstrong Quality Inspector ♦ Mammoth, Montana
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Plastic Man, boo-yeah!“
Pat’s life has been a hard but manageable one. With a nasty but ever present family life and an almost non-existent, Eel’s life took a morally dubious turn early on in life which consisted largely of being a juvenile delinquent and barely turning his life around a little later in life. The main claim to fame that the town of Mammoth had was it’s Stretch Armstrong factory, one that had been the cornerstone of the local economy since the 90s. Naturally Eel found himself employed there after trying to turn a straighter edge.
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
Honestly the main reason I’m applying with Plastic is because a certain someone said it’d be a good fit for me. I’ve been a HUGELY passive fan of Plastic Man ever since I first discovered him watch Brave and the Bold when I was little and subsequently read up on him in my DC encyclopedia. I’ve had quite a few characters that I’ve wanted to write for a while but just haven’t because I felt I couldn’t do them justice. Now I’m coming to realize that sounds stupid and I should just go for it and give it a shot.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
Any additional notes you want to put either for yourself, the GM's or other players to help clarify your vision or continuity.
S A M P L E P O S T:
The day was droning on for one Patrick O’Brain and he stretched and prodded yet another toy before absentmindedly checking off some boxes and packing it away for final approval. Pat looked at the clock (which would have read not close enough to quitting time no matter it’s hands position) before turning to his only real pal he still had. Wolfgang “Woozy” Winks hadn’t been particularly close with Pat when they and other kids used to cause trouble around town but out of that group they were the only two that decided crime didn’t pay enough. Repeating the same process that Pat had just finished, Woozy caught Pat’s gaze and turned to him.
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy.
"I'm thinking about doing something stupid-"
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy.
"I'm thinking about doing something stupid-"
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
P O S T C A T A L O G:
ISSUE NO.1 coming soon!
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“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy. “I’m thinking about doing something stupid-“
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
OP
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Member
Seen
10 days ago
The day was droning on for one Patrick O’Brain and he stretched and prodded yet another toy before absentmindedly checking off some boxes and packing it away for final approval. Pat looked at the clock (which would have read not close enough to quitting time no matter it’s hands position) before turning to his only real pal he still had. Wolfgang “Woozy” Winks hadn’t been particularly close with Pat when they and other kids used to cause trouble around town but out of that group they were the only two that decided crime didn’t pay enough. Repeating the same process that Pat had just finished, Woozy caught Pat’s gaze and turned to him.
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy.
"I'm thinking about doing something stupid-"
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy.
"I'm thinking about doing something stupid-"
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
OP
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C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
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Plastic Man
Patrick “Eel” O’Brian ♦ Flex Armstrong Quality Inspector ♦ Mammoth, Montana
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Plastic Man, boo-yeah!“
Pat’s life has been a hard but manageable one. With a nasty but ever present family life and an almost non-existent social life, Eel’s life took a morally dubious turn early on in life which consisted largely of being a juvenile delinquent and barely turning his life around a little later in life. The main claim to fame that the town of Mammoth had was it’s Stretch Armstrong factory, one that had been the cornerstone of the local economy since the 90s. Naturally Eel found himself employed there after trying to turn a straighter edge.
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
He found no amount of satisfaction with his new career but it was a lot less stressful for the would-be criminal. As time went on Pat’s dissatisfaction grew up to the point that he’d heard rumours floating around from some of his old buddies that they were planning a robbery of the plant and skipping town. With the intoxicating allure of his old life calling, Pat offered to help out which brings us to the beginning of our story…
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
Honestly the main reason I’m applying with Plastic is because a certain someone said it’d be a good fit for me. I’ve been a HUGELY passive fan of Plastic Man ever since I first discovered him watch Brave and the Bold when I was little and subsequently read up on him in my DC encyclopedia. I’ve had quite a few characters that I’ve wanted to write for a while but just haven’t because I felt I couldn’t do them justice. Now I’m coming to realize that sounds stupid and I should just go for it and give it a shot.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
Any additional notes you want to put either for yourself, the GM's or other players to help clarify your vision or continuity.
S A M P L E P O S T:
The day was droning on for one Patrick O’Brain and he stretched and prodded yet another toy before absentmindedly checking off some boxes and packing it away for final approval. Pat looked at the clock (which would have read not close enough to quitting time no matter it’s hands position) before turning to his only real pal he still had. Wolfgang “Woozy” Winks hadn’t been particularly close with Pat when they and other kids used to cause trouble around town but out of that group they were the only two that decided crime didn’t pay enough. Repeating the same process that Pat had just finished, Woozy caught Pat’s gaze and turned to him.
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy.
"I'm thinking about doing something stupid-"
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
“Whatcha looking at?” Woozy asked, checking some boxes without really looking.
“You ever miss puttering around town with the guys? I mean don’t get me wrong I love sitting around eight hours a day yanking the same rubber arms and heads day in day out but the thrill of ye olden times ju-“
“The heads don’t stretch, you haven’t been trying ta’ stretch the heads have you?”
“What? No! I’m just using it as an example Woozy, but that’s not the point.” Pat retorted turning away from Woozy as he tried to find something new to stare at for his wistful speech. When he wasn’t satisfied with the brown bricks as his muse, Pat just turned back to Woozy.
"I'm thinking about doing something stupid-"
“As opposed to normally?”
“Seriously Wooz, I can’t take the monotony anymore! I’m a MAN! I need to be free!” Pat exclaimed as he stood up on his chair and put one of his legs on the work table.
“I’ve been chained for too long! Shackled to ideals put forth by pencil-pushing-penny-chasers from years long gone! Well no more! From this moment forward Patrick O’Brain is salve to the wage no more!” the passionate man furiously shook his fist to the heavens to accentuate his point “From this moment forward Patrick O’Brian will be tearing this town a new o-“
BEEEEEEEEEEEP went the end of day buzzer and with that Patrick quickly got down from his impromptu pedestal and picked up his jacket, heading for the main computer to clock out. Meanwhile, still sat at the large worktable stared a bewildered Woozy… and about another dozen quality inspectors.
Once outside, greeted by the cool summer night, Patrick took out his barely functional phone and called his old buddy Tacs. As the dial-tone went on and on Pat began to come down from his adrenaline high. Was he really going to go back on everything he built here? The new life he carved out while trying his best to distance himself from the old one?
“Tacs, yo’ve got yourself a hombre on the inside. When’s this whole shebang going down?”
P O S T C A T A L O G:
ISSUE NO.1 coming soon!
OP
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Member
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C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
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The Immoral Iron Fist
B I R T H N A M E ♦ O C C U P A T I O N ♦ L O C A T I O N ♦ A F F I L I A T I O N
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”I’m gonna dragon kick your ass into the Mily Way!"
Danny Rand grew up in the lap of luxury. His father Wendall Rand ran Rand industries and was able to more than provide for his family, leading Danny to become a spoiled rotten upperclass kid with an unusual family pass time. Wendall didn’t like to talk about the origin of his obsession with martial arts but he was very adamant about sharing his passion with his son. Wendall paid top dollar for his son to train with some of the greatest martial artists on the planet. Danny didn’t complain as he enjoyed the power he felt came with getting in shape and learning to fight better than your average joe. However, despite his excellence in martial arts, Danny was more of a blemish on his family’s high held reputation. He abused his family’s fortune to throw wild and destructive parties, fly around the world and generally showboat his martial arts prowess. This came to a head though when his father finally had enough and cut Danny off after yet another wild party. Danny was set up with a small apartment in Manhattan and told he would have to make it on his own if he ever hoped to win back his family’s trust and be accepted back into the family fortune.
Around the same time Sparrow of K’un-Lun was experiencing a similar exile from her normal way of life at the hands of her own family. Her situation was a little worse all things considered. Her brother Davos had made an attempt on the title of K’un-Lun’s champion after losing to Shu-Hu in the final test to gain the title. Against tradition Davos attempted to forcibly gain the power of the Iron Fist for himself by sneaking out of the city and to the shrine to dunk his fists in molten heart of Shou-Lao, the undying dragon. Sparrow, seeing her brother heading to the shrine, warned her father The Thunderer and the protectors of K’un-Lun. The horde of people rushed Davos but they couldn’t get to him before he dunked one of his arms in the stunning yellow stew. The Thunderer tackled his son but the damage was done as Davos now had half the power of the Iron Fist which was more than enough to amp up own martial prowess to super-human levels. Davos now easily fought off his attackers while Sparrow watched in horror. Sparrow knew she was out of her league against Davos and instead opted to grab the cauldron of molten dragon heart. Davos tried to chase her down but the K’un-Lun protectors and her father managed to keep him busy as she made her way back to the city.
Sparrow knew there was nowhere in the realm that she could hide from Davos for long so she instead looked towards the massive gates that seemed to lead to nowhere for decades at a time. However, as Sparrow approached with the cauldron, a storm began to pick up around the gate with the faint outline of a rope bridge visible just beyond the veil. Without much of a choice, Sparrow rushed through the gate finding herself on Earth. After escaping the mountains and making her way to civilization Sparrow began to formulate a plan. She remembered her father telling stories of the last Iron Fist, a man from Earth who had somehow slipped into K’un-Lun as a child and grew up to win the tournament and become the immortal Iron Fist. The last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in order to live out the rest of his life on Earth which is where Sparrow’s plan came from. She would venture out and find the last Iron Fist and beg him to return to K’un-Lun, using the power of the Iron Fist held in the cauldron, and save the city from Davos.
Going off the few clues Sparrow remembered from the stories, she made her way to America, starting her search in New York. After a few days of searching Sparrow was exhausted, using what little resources she had managed to smuggle out of K’un-Lun to look for an obscure superhero in a land where they were commonplace. In her exhaustion she didn’t notice the men pining after the fancy bucket she was carrying. Sparrow was taken by surprise in an ally as one of the men bashed her over the head in an attempt to knock her out. The blow knocked the cauldron from her hands but she managed to keep awake and begin her counterattack. However, she wouldn’t be alone as a man ran from the street to her rescue and began using his own assortment of punches, kicks and palm-strikes to fight off the men alongside her. Things were going well until one the men got a lucky blow on Sparrow’s savour knocking him down next to the cauldron. Sparrow’s eyes widened in despair and fear as the man decided to use the cauldron as an impromptu weapon, dipping his hand in the liquid that the cauldron held and clocking one of the men with the stone and metal vessel.
Danny’s first attempt at heroism had resulted in him nearly killing a thug with a superpower punch and a ornate pot, a furious martial artist/owner of the magic bowl and, a new career path set out before him. After a lot of yelling from Sparrow the two introduced themselves to one another and Sparrow explained her problem and the fact that Danny was now a very major setback too said plan. Danny offered to help Sparrow track down the previous Iron Fist so he could hand the power over. Sparrow reluctantly agreed as she admittedly wasn’t even certain how the last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in the fist place. Wendall was devastated when he heard his son went missing but Danny felt better than ever now that he could go out show-boating his new powers around the world as they followed the trail of the last Iron Fist.
Around the same time Sparrow of K’un-Lun was experiencing a similar exile from her normal way of life at the hands of her own family. Her situation was a little worse all things considered. Her brother Davos had made an attempt on the title of K’un-Lun’s champion after losing to Shu-Hu in the final test to gain the title. Against tradition Davos attempted to forcibly gain the power of the Iron Fist for himself by sneaking out of the city and to the shrine to dunk his fists in molten heart of Shou-Lao, the undying dragon. Sparrow, seeing her brother heading to the shrine, warned her father The Thunderer and the protectors of K’un-Lun. The horde of people rushed Davos but they couldn’t get to him before he dunked one of his arms in the stunning yellow stew. The Thunderer tackled his son but the damage was done as Davos now had half the power of the Iron Fist which was more than enough to amp up own martial prowess to super-human levels. Davos now easily fought off his attackers while Sparrow watched in horror. Sparrow knew she was out of her league against Davos and instead opted to grab the cauldron of molten dragon heart. Davos tried to chase her down but the K’un-Lun protectors and her father managed to keep him busy as she made her way back to the city.
Sparrow knew there was nowhere in the realm that she could hide from Davos for long so she instead looked towards the massive gates that seemed to lead to nowhere for decades at a time. However, as Sparrow approached with the cauldron, a storm began to pick up around the gate with the faint outline of a rope bridge visible just beyond the veil. Without much of a choice, Sparrow rushed through the gate finding herself on Earth. After escaping the mountains and making her way to civilization Sparrow began to formulate a plan. She remembered her father telling stories of the last Iron Fist, a man from Earth who had somehow slipped into K’un-Lun as a child and grew up to win the tournament and become the immortal Iron Fist. The last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in order to live out the rest of his life on Earth which is where Sparrow’s plan came from. She would venture out and find the last Iron Fist and beg him to return to K’un-Lun, using the power of the Iron Fist held in the cauldron, and save the city from Davos.
Going off the few clues Sparrow remembered from the stories, she made her way to America, starting her search in New York. After a few days of searching Sparrow was exhausted, using what little resources she had managed to smuggle out of K’un-Lun to look for an obscure superhero in a land where they were commonplace. In her exhaustion she didn’t notice the men pining after the fancy bucket she was carrying. Sparrow was taken by surprise in an ally as one of the men bashed her over the head in an attempt to knock her out. The blow knocked the cauldron from her hands but she managed to keep awake and begin her counterattack. However, she wouldn’t be alone as a man ran from the street to her rescue and began using his own assortment of punches, kicks and palm-strikes to fight off the men alongside her. Things were going well until one the men got a lucky blow on Sparrow’s savour knocking him down next to the cauldron. Sparrow’s eyes widened in despair and fear as the man decided to use the cauldron as an impromptu weapon, dipping his hand in the liquid that the cauldron held and clocking one of the men with the stone and metal vessel.
Danny’s first attempt at heroism had resulted in him nearly killing a thug with a superpower punch and a ornate pot, a furious martial artist/owner of the magic bowl and, a new career path set out before him. After a lot of yelling from Sparrow the two introduced themselves to one another and Sparrow explained her problem and the fact that Danny was now a very major setback too said plan. Danny offered to help Sparrow track down the previous Iron Fist so he could hand the power over. Sparrow reluctantly agreed as she admittedly wasn’t even certain how the last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in the fist place. Wendall was devastated when he heard his son went missing but Danny felt better than ever now that he could go out show-boating his new powers around the world as they followed the trail of the last Iron Fist.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
I can’t remember when but I’d applied with this very same premise to one of these games a while back. I never ended up getting to write very much of it but it’s one of my biggest regrets in terms of RPs as I loved the concept to death. I’m really hoping that this time I’ll be able to flesh out all the ideas I had for Danny and Sparrow and write something that I’m happy with. As for character goals Danny and Sparrow will be traveling around the world looking for the last Iron Fist in order to get someone more qualified than the two of them to kick Davos’ ass. This tracking will mostly go down by Danny using his powers to detect sites where a load of Chi was used like when someone uses the Iron Fist. Getting to these sites Danny would get glimpses of the last Iron Fist using his powers in some way. Through these sites Danny would learn new Iron Fist techniques, expanding his arsenal and helping him and Sparrow find their Kung-Fu saviour. Over the course of the journey Danny would be helping Sparrow but also actively trying to prove himself good enough to live up to the name of Iron Fist initially as another way to showboat and brag but eventually he’d just want to since the mantle gives him purpose. Over the course of their adventures Davos would also send assassins, monsters and everything else in-between after Danny and Sparrow in an attempt to get the other fist of the Iron Fist.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
◼ Sparrow refuses to call Danny Iron Fist for the same reason she didn’t dunk her hand in Shou-Lao’s molten heart herself. The Iron Fist is a position held in high regard among K’un-Lun culture and Sparrow adamantly believes in her culture’s values and practices.
◼ Danny can channel the power of the Iron Fist all over his body but his techniques are most powerful coming from his right hand, which glows bright yellow where the molten heat of Shou-Lao touched but only when using his one of said techniques.
◼ Davos is superior to Danny in almost every way, that’s why Sparrow doesn’t break down and just train Danny to beat Davos.
◼ Danny can channel the power of the Iron Fist all over his body but his techniques are most powerful coming from his right hand, which glows bright yellow where the molten heat of Shou-Lao touched but only when using his one of said techniques.
◼ Davos is superior to Danny in almost every way, that’s why Sparrow doesn’t break down and just train Danny to beat Davos.
S A M P L E P O S T:
Danny stood with a vacant look on his face as he stared at all the clothes in the thrift shop. It was a far fall from getting suits custom made and flown in from some distant corner of the world but he knew he had to make do. Snapping back to reality Danny went back to looking for his new get up that would fire him into stardom along with the likes of Captain America, Wonder Woman and Bon Jovi. He walked past jean jackets, leather jackets, leather pants and all sorts of goofy secondhand clothes. As he looked around he began to zone out again as he imagined himself kicking ninja ass with his souped up arm.
“Can I help you find what you’re looking for?” asked a store employee as Danny was once more got snapped out of his own head.
[color=limen]”Got anything green and kick-ass looking?”[/color] Danny’s response was more so a stream of consciousness than a premeditated thought.
“Uhh, I think we have a green tracksuit?” the woman said, slightly caught off guard by Danny’s sudden blurt, as she fished out the vest and pants off a rack that was stuffed too full to be able to discern any of the clothes from each other. Danny took the clothes and walked to a changing room near the back of the store. He wasn’t very jazzed about the suit but he also wanted to save himself the embarrassment so he decided to give the two piece suit a shot. While Danny changed into the old suit, a frail looking woman entered the store and began to look around for nothing in particular. The only employee on shift went to ask if the elderly lady needed help finding anything.
“How about all the cash in the register?” she said in a deep voice as she deftly drew a gun from his little old purse. The store clerk was surprised and immediately put her hands in the air. The two walked tensely to the cash register and the clerk opened the till, beginning to hand over the small amount of cash and cupping change in her hands. All was going well for the villain known as Madame Fatal. That was until Danny stepped out of the changing room wearing the run down and faded green and yellow tracksuit.
”Hey, you should really think about sticking a mirror in there, it’d spe-“
“Hands in the air asshat!” yelled Mr.Fatal, swinging his aim in Danny’s direction.
Danny’s arms shot above his head, staring the gun right down the barrel. If he was closer he might be able to disarm the cross-dressing criminal but being at the other end of the store he was out of luck. Madame Fatal turned back to the terrified clerk, holding his purse to the woman’s change filled hands as she dumped the change in the bag. Danny’s mind raced, grasping for a way to get his hands on Madame Fatal. His mind began to think back to Sparrow telling him about all the things the old Iron Fists could supposedly do, namely firing bolts of chi from a bow or a gun. He hadn’t gotten a whole lot of information about how to go about the technique or if the long range weapon was a requirement of the move but at the moment it seemed like his only option. He figured maybe if he willed it hard enough and went with his gut on what to do he could let loose something to close the gap. Closing his eyes, Danny focused his chi like Sparrow had been teaching him and felt the life force of that dragon flow through him. His right hand contorted into an awkward ‘hang-loose’ gesture and he snapped his eyes open, zeroing in on the deceptively undecrepit thug. Danny held his breathe and brought his hand down in a flicking motion to fire his bolt of pure chi. What really happened was a whole lot of nothing coming from his hand and Madame Fatal spinning around to face Danny again, gun trained on his chest.
With less of a plan than before and frazzled fiend ready to end his heroic career with a bang. Danny decided to make one last ditch effort as he ducked down and lobbed a heavily overfilled rack of clothes into the air and at Madame Fatal. Gun shots rang out over the once quite afternoon as Fatal tried to fire at Danny through the incoming rack, only for the thick padding to stop the bullets and come crashing into him, sprawling him across the floor. Given his chance, Danny closed the distance as quickly as he could but Madame Fatal was already getting to his feet and once again taking aim at the track-suit clad titan. Focusing his chi again, Danny brought a chi empowered left jab straight to the man’s stomach, sending Madame Fatal through the shop’s window into the full view of the neighbourhood.
Still in a half crouched position Danny paused. He half expected to wake up outside the pearly gates or somewhere far worse but the fact that he could still feel the musty smell of the tracksuit in his nostrils let him know that he was still breathing. Danny stood up properly and looked out the shattered window with a smirk before turning his attention back to the frightened store clerk. That’s when the gravity of the damage he had done really settled in with the busted window and broken rack.
”I’ll take the suit!” Danny exclaimed as he quickly took out his wallet and slapped down 25 dollars in cash and proceeded to sprint out of the store before the police arrived, leaving the employee in shock. Danny didn’t stop running until he got back to his motel room where he proceeded to swear like a sailor as he realized he’d left his own clothes in the changing room.
“Can I help you find what you’re looking for?” asked a store employee as Danny was once more got snapped out of his own head.
[color=limen]”Got anything green and kick-ass looking?”[/color] Danny’s response was more so a stream of consciousness than a premeditated thought.
“Uhh, I think we have a green tracksuit?” the woman said, slightly caught off guard by Danny’s sudden blurt, as she fished out the vest and pants off a rack that was stuffed too full to be able to discern any of the clothes from each other. Danny took the clothes and walked to a changing room near the back of the store. He wasn’t very jazzed about the suit but he also wanted to save himself the embarrassment so he decided to give the two piece suit a shot. While Danny changed into the old suit, a frail looking woman entered the store and began to look around for nothing in particular. The only employee on shift went to ask if the elderly lady needed help finding anything.
“How about all the cash in the register?” she said in a deep voice as she deftly drew a gun from his little old purse. The store clerk was surprised and immediately put her hands in the air. The two walked tensely to the cash register and the clerk opened the till, beginning to hand over the small amount of cash and cupping change in her hands. All was going well for the villain known as Madame Fatal. That was until Danny stepped out of the changing room wearing the run down and faded green and yellow tracksuit.
”Hey, you should really think about sticking a mirror in there, it’d spe-“
“Hands in the air asshat!” yelled Mr.Fatal, swinging his aim in Danny’s direction.
Danny’s arms shot above his head, staring the gun right down the barrel. If he was closer he might be able to disarm the cross-dressing criminal but being at the other end of the store he was out of luck. Madame Fatal turned back to the terrified clerk, holding his purse to the woman’s change filled hands as she dumped the change in the bag. Danny’s mind raced, grasping for a way to get his hands on Madame Fatal. His mind began to think back to Sparrow telling him about all the things the old Iron Fists could supposedly do, namely firing bolts of chi from a bow or a gun. He hadn’t gotten a whole lot of information about how to go about the technique or if the long range weapon was a requirement of the move but at the moment it seemed like his only option. He figured maybe if he willed it hard enough and went with his gut on what to do he could let loose something to close the gap. Closing his eyes, Danny focused his chi like Sparrow had been teaching him and felt the life force of that dragon flow through him. His right hand contorted into an awkward ‘hang-loose’ gesture and he snapped his eyes open, zeroing in on the deceptively undecrepit thug. Danny held his breathe and brought his hand down in a flicking motion to fire his bolt of pure chi. What really happened was a whole lot of nothing coming from his hand and Madame Fatal spinning around to face Danny again, gun trained on his chest.
With less of a plan than before and frazzled fiend ready to end his heroic career with a bang. Danny decided to make one last ditch effort as he ducked down and lobbed a heavily overfilled rack of clothes into the air and at Madame Fatal. Gun shots rang out over the once quite afternoon as Fatal tried to fire at Danny through the incoming rack, only for the thick padding to stop the bullets and come crashing into him, sprawling him across the floor. Given his chance, Danny closed the distance as quickly as he could but Madame Fatal was already getting to his feet and once again taking aim at the track-suit clad titan. Focusing his chi again, Danny brought a chi empowered left jab straight to the man’s stomach, sending Madame Fatal through the shop’s window into the full view of the neighbourhood.
Still in a half crouched position Danny paused. He half expected to wake up outside the pearly gates or somewhere far worse but the fact that he could still feel the musty smell of the tracksuit in his nostrils let him know that he was still breathing. Danny stood up properly and looked out the shattered window with a smirk before turning his attention back to the frightened store clerk. That’s when the gravity of the damage he had done really settled in with the busted window and broken rack.
”I’ll take the suit!” Danny exclaimed as he quickly took out his wallet and slapped down 25 dollars in cash and proceeded to sprint out of the store before the police arrived, leaving the employee in shock. Danny didn’t stop running until he got back to his motel room where he proceeded to swear like a sailor as he realized he’d left his own clothes in the changing room.
P O S T C A T A L O G:
Tales yet to be told...
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rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
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C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
D A N N Y R A N D ♦ A D V E N T U R E R ♦ V A R I O U S ♦ P R O T E C T O R S O F K ’ U N - L U N
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”I’m gonna dragon kick your ass into the Mily Way!"
Danny Rand grew up in the lap of luxury. His father Wendall Rand ran Rand industries and was able to more than provide for his family, leading Danny to become a spoiled rotten upperclass kid with an unusual family pass time. Wendall didn’t like to talk about the origin of his obsession with martial arts but he was very adamant about sharing his passion with his son. Wendall paid top dollar for his son to train with some of the greatest martial artists on the planet. Danny didn’t complain as he enjoyed the power he felt came with getting in shape and learning to fight better than your average joe. However, despite his excellence in martial arts, Danny was more of a blemish on his family’s high held reputation. He abused his family’s fortune to throw wild and destructive parties, fly around the world and generally showboat his martial arts prowess. This came to a head though when his father finally had enough and cut Danny off after yet another wild party. Danny was set up with a small apartment in Manhattan and told he would have to make it on his own if he ever hoped to win back his family’s trust and be accepted back into the family fortune.
Around the same time Sparrow of K’un-Lun was experiencing a similar exile from her normal way of life at the hands of her own family. Her situation was a little worse all things considered. Her brother Davos had made an attempt on the title of K’un-Lun’s champion after losing to Shu-Hu in the final test to gain the title. Against tradition Davos attempted to forcibly gain the power of the Iron Fist for himself by sneaking out of the city and to the shrine to dunk his fists in molten heart of Shou-Lao, the undying dragon. Sparrow, seeing her brother heading to the shrine, warned her father The Thunderer and the protectors of K’un-Lun. The horde of people rushed Davos but they couldn’t get to him before he dunked one of his arms in the stunning yellow stew. The Thunderer tackled his son but the damage was done as Davos now had half the power of the Iron Fist which was more than enough to amp up own martial prowess to super-human levels. Davos now easily fought off his attackers while Sparrow watched in horror. Sparrow knew she was out of her league against Davos and instead opted to grab the cauldron of molten dragon heart. Davos tried to chase her down but the K’un-Lun protectors and her father managed to keep him busy as she made her way back to the city.
Sparrow knew there was nowhere in the realm that she could hide from Davos for long so she instead looked towards the massive gates that seemed to lead to nowhere for decades at a time. However, as Sparrow approached with the cauldron, a storm began to pick up around the gate with the faint outline of a rope bridge visible just beyond the veil. Without much of a choice, Sparrow rushed through the gate finding herself on Earth. After escaping the mountains and making her way to civilization Sparrow began to formulate a plan. She remembered her father telling stories of the last Iron Fist, a man from Earth who had somehow slipped into K’un-Lun as a child and grew up to win the tournament and become the immortal Iron Fist. The last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in order to live out the rest of his life on Earth which is where Sparrow’s plan came from. She would venture out and find the last Iron Fist and beg him to return to K’un-Lun, using the power of the Iron Fist held in the cauldron, and save the city from Davos.
Going off the few clues Sparrow remembered from the stories, she made her way to America, starting her search in New York. After a few days of searching Sparrow was exhausted, using what little resources she had managed to smuggle out of K’un-Lun to look for an obscure superhero in a land where they were commonplace. In her exhaustion she didn’t notice the men pining after the fancy bucket she was carrying. Sparrow was taken by surprise in an ally as one of the men bashed her over the head in an attempt to knock her out. The blow knocked the cauldron from her hands but she managed to keep awake and begin her counterattack. However, she wouldn’t be alone as a man ran from the street to her rescue and began using his own assortment of punches, kicks and palm-strikes to fight off the men alongside her. Things were going well until one the men got a lucky blow on Sparrow’s savour knocking him down next to the cauldron. Sparrow’s eyes widened in despair and fear as the man decided to use the cauldron as an impromptu weapon, dipping his hand in the liquid that the cauldron held and clocking one of the men with the stone and metal vessel.
Danny’s first attempt at heroism had resulted in him nearly killing a thug with a superpower punch and a ornate pot, a furious martial artist/owner of the magic bowl and, a new career path set out before him. After a lot of yelling from Sparrow the two introduced themselves to one another and Sparrow explained her problem and the fact that Danny was now a very major setback too said plan. Danny offered to help Sparrow track down the previous Iron Fist so he could hand the power over. Sparrow reluctantly agreed as she admittedly wasn’t even certain how the last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in the fist place. Wendall was devastated when he heard his son went missing but Danny felt better than ever now that he could go out show-boating his new powers around the world as they followed the trail of the last Iron Fist.
Around the same time Sparrow of K’un-Lun was experiencing a similar exile from her normal way of life at the hands of her own family. Her situation was a little worse all things considered. Her brother Davos had made an attempt on the title of K’un-Lun’s champion after losing to Shu-Hu in the final test to gain the title. Against tradition Davos attempted to forcibly gain the power of the Iron Fist for himself by sneaking out of the city and to the shrine to dunk his fists in molten heart of Shou-Lao, the undying dragon. Sparrow, seeing her brother heading to the shrine, warned her father The Thunderer and the protectors of K’un-Lun. The horde of people rushed Davos but they couldn’t get to him before he dunked one of his arms in the stunning yellow stew. The Thunderer tackled his son but the damage was done as Davos now had half the power of the Iron Fist which was more than enough to amp up own martial prowess to super-human levels. Davos now easily fought off his attackers while Sparrow watched in horror. Sparrow knew she was out of her league against Davos and instead opted to grab the cauldron of molten dragon heart. Davos tried to chase her down but the K’un-Lun protectors and her father managed to keep him busy as she made her way back to the city.
Sparrow knew there was nowhere in the realm that she could hide from Davos for long so she instead looked towards the massive gates that seemed to lead to nowhere for decades at a time. However, as Sparrow approached with the cauldron, a storm began to pick up around the gate with the faint outline of a rope bridge visible just beyond the veil. Without much of a choice, Sparrow rushed through the gate finding herself on Earth. After escaping the mountains and making her way to civilization Sparrow began to formulate a plan. She remembered her father telling stories of the last Iron Fist, a man from Earth who had somehow slipped into K’un-Lun as a child and grew up to win the tournament and become the immortal Iron Fist. The last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in order to live out the rest of his life on Earth which is where Sparrow’s plan came from. She would venture out and find the last Iron Fist and beg him to return to K’un-Lun, using the power of the Iron Fist held in the cauldron, and save the city from Davos.
Going off the few clues Sparrow remembered from the stories, she made her way to America, starting her search in New York. After a few days of searching Sparrow was exhausted, using what little resources she had managed to smuggle out of K’un-Lun to look for an obscure superhero in a land where they were commonplace. In her exhaustion she didn’t notice the men pining after the fancy bucket she was carrying. Sparrow was taken by surprise in an ally as one of the men bashed her over the head in an attempt to knock her out. The blow knocked the cauldron from her hands but she managed to keep awake and begin her counterattack. However, she wouldn’t be alone as a man ran from the street to her rescue and began using his own assortment of punches, kicks and palm-strikes to fight off the men alongside her. Things were going well until one the men got a lucky blow on Sparrow’s savour knocking him down next to the cauldron. Sparrow’s eyes widened in despair and fear as the man decided to use the cauldron as an impromptu weapon, dipping his hand in the liquid that the cauldron held and clocking one of the men with the stone and metal vessel.
Danny’s first attempt at heroism had resulted in him nearly killing a thug with a superpower punch and a ornate pot, a furious martial artist/owner of the magic bowl and, a new career path set out before him. After a lot of yelling from Sparrow the two introduced themselves to one another and Sparrow explained her problem and the fact that Danny was now a very major setback too said plan. Danny offered to help Sparrow track down the previous Iron Fist so he could hand the power over. Sparrow reluctantly agreed as she admittedly wasn’t even certain how the last Iron Fist gave up the power willingly in the fist place. Wendall was devastated when he heard his son went missing but Danny felt better than ever now that he could go out show-boating his new powers around the world as they followed the trail of the last Iron Fist.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
I can’t remember when but I’d applied with this very same premise to one of these games a while back. I never ended up getting to write very much of it but it’s one of my biggest regrets in terms of RPs as I loved the concept to death. I’m really hoping that this time I’ll be able to flesh out all the ideas I had for Danny and Sparrow and write something that I’m happy with. As for character goals Danny and Sparrow will be traveling around the world looking for the last Iron Fist in order to get someone more qualified than the two of them to kick Davos’ ass. This tracking will mostly go down by Danny using his powers to detect sites where a load of Chi was used like when someone uses the Iron Fist. Getting to these sites Danny would get glimpses of the last Iron Fist using his powers in some way. Through these sites Danny would learn new Iron Fist techniques, expanding his arsenal and helping him and Sparrow find their Kung-Fu saviour. Over the course of the journey Danny would be helping Sparrow but also actively trying to prove himself good enough to live up to the name of Iron Fist initially as another way to showboat and brag but eventually he’d just want to since the mantle gives him purpose. Over the course of their adventures Davos would also send assassins, monsters and everything else in-between after Danny and Sparrow in an attempt to get the other fist of the Iron Fist.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
◼ Sparrow refuses to call Danny Iron Fist for the same reason she didn’t dunk her hand in Shou-Lao’s molten heart herself. The Iron Fist is a position held in high regard among K’un-Lun culture and Sparrow adamantly believes in her culture’s values and practices.
◼ Danny can channel the power of the Iron Fist all over his body but his techniques are most powerful coming from his right hand, which glows bright yellow where the molten heat of Shou-Lao touched but only when using his one of said techniques.
◼ Davos is superior to Danny in almost every way, that’s why Sparrow doesn’t break down and just train Danny to beat Davos.
◼ Iron Fist Playlist
◼ Danny can channel the power of the Iron Fist all over his body but his techniques are most powerful coming from his right hand, which glows bright yellow where the molten heat of Shou-Lao touched but only when using his one of said techniques.
◼ Davos is superior to Danny in almost every way, that’s why Sparrow doesn’t break down and just train Danny to beat Davos.
◼ Iron Fist Playlist
S A M P L E P O S T:
Danny stood with a vacant look on his face as he stared at all the clothes in the thrift shop. It was a far fall from getting suits custom made and flown in from some distant corner of the world but he knew he had to make do. Snapping back to reality Danny went back to looking for his new get up that would fire him into stardom along with the likes of Captain America, Wonder Woman and Bon Jovi. He walked past jean jackets, leather jackets, leather pants and all sorts of goofy secondhand clothes. As he looked around he began to zone out again as he imagined himself kicking ninja ass with his souped up arm.
“Can I help you find what you’re looking for?” asked a store employee as Danny was once more got snapped out of his own head.
[color=limen]”Got anything green and kick-ass looking?”[/color] Danny’s response was more so a stream of consciousness than a premeditated thought.
“Uhh, I think we have a green tracksuit?” the woman said, slightly caught off guard by Danny’s sudden blurt, as she fished out the vest and pants off a rack that was stuffed too full to be able to discern any of the clothes from each other. Danny took the clothes and walked to a changing room near the back of the store. He wasn’t very jazzed about the suit but he also wanted to save himself the embarrassment so he decided to give the two piece suit a shot. While Danny changed into the old suit, a frail looking woman entered the store and began to look around for nothing in particular. The only employee on shift went to ask if the elderly lady needed help finding anything.
“How about all the cash in the register?” she said in a deep voice as she deftly drew a gun from his little old purse. The store clerk was surprised and immediately put her hands in the air. The two walked tensely to the cash register and the clerk opened the till, beginning to hand over the small amount of cash and cupping change in her hands. All was going well for the villain known as Madame Fatal. That was until Danny stepped out of the changing room wearing the run down and faded green and yellow tracksuit.
”Hey, you should really think about sticking a mirror in there, it’d spe-“
“Hands in the air asshat!” yelled Mr.Fatal, swinging his aim in Danny’s direction.
Danny’s arms shot above his head, staring the gun right down the barrel. If he was closer he might be able to disarm the cross-dressing criminal but being at the other end of the store he was out of luck. Madame Fatal turned back to the terrified clerk, holding his purse to the woman’s change filled hands as she dumped the change in the bag. Danny’s mind raced, grasping for a way to get his hands on Madame Fatal. His mind began to think back to Sparrow telling him about all the things the old Iron Fists could supposedly do, namely firing bolts of chi from a bow or a gun. He hadn’t gotten a whole lot of information about how to go about the technique or if the long range weapon was a requirement of the move but at the moment it seemed like his only option. He figured maybe if he willed it hard enough and went with his gut on what to do he could let loose something to close the gap. Closing his eyes, Danny focused his chi like Sparrow had been teaching him and felt the life force of that dragon flow through him. His right hand contorted into an awkward ‘hang-loose’ gesture and he snapped his eyes open, zeroing in on the deceptively undecrepit thug. Danny held his breathe and brought his hand down in a flicking motion to fire his bolt of pure chi. What really happened was a whole lot of nothing coming from his hand and Madame Fatal spinning around to face Danny again, gun trained on his chest.
With less of a plan than before and frazzled fiend ready to end his heroic career with a bang. Danny decided to make one last ditch effort as he ducked down and lobbed a heavily overfilled rack of clothes into the air and at Madame Fatal. Gun shots rang out over the once quite afternoon as Fatal tried to fire at Danny through the incoming rack, only for the thick padding to stop the bullets and come crashing into him, sprawling him across the floor. Given his chance, Danny closed the distance as quickly as he could but Madame Fatal was already getting to his feet and once again taking aim at the track-suit clad titan. Focusing his chi again, Danny brought a chi empowered left jab straight to the man’s stomach, sending Madame Fatal through the shop’s window into the full view of the neighbourhood.
Still in a half crouched position Danny paused. He half expected to wake up outside the pearly gates or somewhere far worse but the fact that he could still feel the musty smell of the tracksuit in his nostrils let him know that he was still breathing. Danny stood up properly and looked out the shattered window with a smirk before turning his attention back to the frightened store clerk. That’s when the gravity of the damage he had done really settled in with the busted window and broken rack.
”I’ll take the suit!” Danny exclaimed as he quickly took out his wallet and slapped down 25 dollars in cash and proceeded to sprint out of the store before the police arrived, leaving the employee in shock. Danny didn’t stop running until he got back to his motel room where he proceeded to swear like a sailor as he realized he’d left his own clothes in the changing room.
“Can I help you find what you’re looking for?” asked a store employee as Danny was once more got snapped out of his own head.
[color=limen]”Got anything green and kick-ass looking?”[/color] Danny’s response was more so a stream of consciousness than a premeditated thought.
“Uhh, I think we have a green tracksuit?” the woman said, slightly caught off guard by Danny’s sudden blurt, as she fished out the vest and pants off a rack that was stuffed too full to be able to discern any of the clothes from each other. Danny took the clothes and walked to a changing room near the back of the store. He wasn’t very jazzed about the suit but he also wanted to save himself the embarrassment so he decided to give the two piece suit a shot. While Danny changed into the old suit, a frail looking woman entered the store and began to look around for nothing in particular. The only employee on shift went to ask if the elderly lady needed help finding anything.
“How about all the cash in the register?” she said in a deep voice as she deftly drew a gun from his little old purse. The store clerk was surprised and immediately put her hands in the air. The two walked tensely to the cash register and the clerk opened the till, beginning to hand over the small amount of cash and cupping change in her hands. All was going well for the villain known as Madame Fatal. That was until Danny stepped out of the changing room wearing the run down and faded green and yellow tracksuit.
”Hey, you should really think about sticking a mirror in there, it’d spe-“
“Hands in the air asshat!” yelled Mr.Fatal, swinging his aim in Danny’s direction.
Danny’s arms shot above his head, staring the gun right down the barrel. If he was closer he might be able to disarm the cross-dressing criminal but being at the other end of the store he was out of luck. Madame Fatal turned back to the terrified clerk, holding his purse to the woman’s change filled hands as she dumped the change in the bag. Danny’s mind raced, grasping for a way to get his hands on Madame Fatal. His mind began to think back to Sparrow telling him about all the things the old Iron Fists could supposedly do, namely firing bolts of chi from a bow or a gun. He hadn’t gotten a whole lot of information about how to go about the technique or if the long range weapon was a requirement of the move but at the moment it seemed like his only option. He figured maybe if he willed it hard enough and went with his gut on what to do he could let loose something to close the gap. Closing his eyes, Danny focused his chi like Sparrow had been teaching him and felt the life force of that dragon flow through him. His right hand contorted into an awkward ‘hang-loose’ gesture and he snapped his eyes open, zeroing in on the deceptively undecrepit thug. Danny held his breathe and brought his hand down in a flicking motion to fire his bolt of pure chi. What really happened was a whole lot of nothing coming from his hand and Madame Fatal spinning around to face Danny again, gun trained on his chest.
With less of a plan than before and frazzled fiend ready to end his heroic career with a bang. Danny decided to make one last ditch effort as he ducked down and lobbed a heavily overfilled rack of clothes into the air and at Madame Fatal. Gun shots rang out over the once quite afternoon as Fatal tried to fire at Danny through the incoming rack, only for the thick padding to stop the bullets and come crashing into him, sprawling him across the floor. Given his chance, Danny closed the distance as quickly as he could but Madame Fatal was already getting to his feet and once again taking aim at the track-suit clad titan. Focusing his chi again, Danny brought a chi empowered left jab straight to the man’s stomach, sending Madame Fatal through the shop’s window into the full view of the neighbourhood.
Still in a half crouched position Danny paused. He half expected to wake up outside the pearly gates or somewhere far worse but the fact that he could still feel the musty smell of the tracksuit in his nostrils let him know that he was still breathing. Danny stood up properly and looked out the shattered window with a smirk before turning his attention back to the frightened store clerk. That’s when the gravity of the damage he had done really settled in with the busted window and broken rack.
”I’ll take the suit!” Danny exclaimed as he quickly took out his wallet and slapped down 25 dollars in cash and proceeded to sprint out of the store before the police arrived, leaving the employee in shock. Danny didn’t stop running until he got back to his motel room where he proceeded to swear like a sailor as he realized he’d left his own clothes in the changing room.
P O S T C A T A L O G:
Tales yet to be told...
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C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
B I L L ♦ C H A M P I O N ♦ S K U T T L E B U T T ♦ K O R B I N I T E I M P E R I U M
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
""
The Korbinites were on a path of rapid technological advancement whilst still managing a good balance between nature and industry. This age of progress was stunted by the demon they knew as Surtur as he began wreaking exponentially more havoc on the denizens of the Burning Galaxy. In an effort to have their species survive, the Korbinites constructed massive spaceships out of the husks of their once colonized planets in order to escape Surtur’s infernal spawn created from their galaxy’s star. To guide their ships away from their dying galaxy, the Beta Ray initiation was implemented to find/construct a champion for all Korbonites. The soldier known as Bill was chosen to take up the title and through cybernetics, genetic tampering and, a legal name change, Beta Ray Bill was born. Manning the Skuttlebutt to lead the other ark spaceships away from their Burning Galaxy, Bill in his new form was destined to watch over his people’s odyssey across a dark sea that once spurred hope in the Korbonites but now seemed like an ever shrinking corner they were forced into.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
Beta Ray Thor kicks ass. Ever since I first saw him in the Planet Hulk movie I loved the idea of this distinctly sci-fi looking dude using some ancient godly power. The juxtaposition of the two themes really makes the character for me. That said I’ve always wondered what things were like before Thor and Bill crossed paths and what it would have been like if Bill never took up the awesome power of Thor. That’s what i want to write about here; a Bill that still feels like that cool juxtaposition but without the need to rely on Thor’s mythos (at least initially, I don’t have any solid long term plans as of yet).
As for Bill’s goals, at the moment it’s just to protect his people as they make their way to an idyllic new home scouted out before the home system’s cataclysm. Bill will have to deal with pirates, Surtur’s forces and whatever else I think would be cool to throw at him. Ideally I’d like to have him facing off against some New gods or maybe the forces of Thanos in the future but like I said before, I don’t have anything real concrete as of yet.
As for Bill’s goals, at the moment it’s just to protect his people as they make their way to an idyllic new home scouted out before the home system’s cataclysm. Bill will have to deal with pirates, Surtur’s forces and whatever else I think would be cool to throw at him. Ideally I’d like to have him facing off against some New gods or maybe the forces of Thanos in the future but like I said before, I don’t have anything real concrete as of yet.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
- One of my going ideas is having Bill collect various weapons over the course of the RP or possibly fill another hero’s shoes.
S A M P L E P O S T:
The Skuttlebutt moved slowly through space, leading arks from the many dead planets of the Burning Galaxy. A lone figure stood on the outside of the ship, housed within his EVA suit as he watched the dancing flames that followed behind the massive ship fleet. To the uninitiated the view would be beautiful but Bill knew the sinister nature of these cosmic flames. Fiends spawned from the remains of his home galaxy by a demon they knew as Surtur. The Korbonite looked at them with disgust as they matched the speed of the ships, them unable to catch up and him unable to outrun them. Taking a deep breathe from his recycled air, Beta Ray Bill turned away and headed back for the air lock of the Skuttlebutt.
It had been decades since what was left of the Korbonites fled from their home, rushing into a technological league they were in no way prepared for. Like many species of the universe the Korbonites yearned to see more and more of the universe but their best and brightest estimated it wouldn’t be safe enough without at least another century of research and development. Instead they had to scramble together massive monoliths of ships made of anything they could get their hands on; metal, polymer, wood and stone were just some of the components that made up their ugly fleet with interiors like rat’s nests and completely devoid of any life support. The only exception to this aesthetic was the Skuttlebutt, home to Bill and their guide through the great unknown.
Getting out of his EVA suit, Bill returned to the helm of his ship with only the sound of his footsteps and the ever so slight hum of the ship to keep him company. Over the years the thought of what he would do after the ships settled on their new home came to him more and more frequently. For the most part he’d been in isolation from any other living being, occasionally coming into contact with those that saw the odd ships as easy prey. Though Bill had lost a fair few Arks already, he’d taken down many more enemies in their wake. Trying to push both these thoughts from his mind, Bill sat down at the helm, looking as another solar system began to come into view. In an almost uncurious manner Bill turned on his general range comms receiver to hear what possible signals he could pick up from the incoming system as he normally did. As he settled in for another leg of his journey of monotony the speakers lit up with a decently clear transmission of a song.
It had been decades since what was left of the Korbonites fled from their home, rushing into a technological league they were in no way prepared for. Like many species of the universe the Korbonites yearned to see more and more of the universe but their best and brightest estimated it wouldn’t be safe enough without at least another century of research and development. Instead they had to scramble together massive monoliths of ships made of anything they could get their hands on; metal, polymer, wood and stone were just some of the components that made up their ugly fleet with interiors like rat’s nests and completely devoid of any life support. The only exception to this aesthetic was the Skuttlebutt, home to Bill and their guide through the great unknown.
Getting out of his EVA suit, Bill returned to the helm of his ship with only the sound of his footsteps and the ever so slight hum of the ship to keep him company. Over the years the thought of what he would do after the ships settled on their new home came to him more and more frequently. For the most part he’d been in isolation from any other living being, occasionally coming into contact with those that saw the odd ships as easy prey. Though Bill had lost a fair few Arks already, he’d taken down many more enemies in their wake. Trying to push both these thoughts from his mind, Bill sat down at the helm, looking as another solar system began to come into view. In an almost uncurious manner Bill turned on his general range comms receiver to hear what possible signals he could pick up from the incoming system as he normally did. As he settled in for another leg of his journey of monotony the speakers lit up with a decently clear transmission of a song.
P O S T C A T A L O G:
None yet
OP
rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
Member
Seen
10 days ago
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
B I L L ♦ C H A M P I O N ♦ S K U T T L E B U T T ♦ K O R B I N I T E I M P E R I U M
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
""
The Korbinites were on a path of rapid technological advancement whilst still managing a good balance between nature and industry. This age of progress was stunted by the demon they knew as Surtur as he began wreaking exponentially more havoc on the denizens of the Burning Galaxy. In an effort to have their species survive, the Korbinites constructed massive spaceships out of the husks of their once colonized planets in order to escape Surtur’s infernal spawn created from their galaxy’s star. To guide their ships away from their dying galaxy, the Beta Ray initiation was implemented to find/construct a champion for all Korbonites. The soldier known as Bill was chosen to take up the title and through cybernetics, genetic tampering and, a legal name change, Beta Ray Bill was born. Manning the Skuttlebutt to lead the other ark spaceships away from their Burning Galaxy, Bill in his new form was destined to watch over his people’s odyssey across a dark sea that once spurred hope in the Korbonites but now seemed like an ever shrinking corner they were forced into.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
Beta Ray Thor kicks ass. Ever since I first saw him in the Planet Hulk movie I loved the idea of this distinctly sci-fi looking dude using some ancient godly power. The juxtaposition of the two themes really makes the character for me. That said I’ve always wondered what things were like before Thor and Bill crossed paths and what it would have been like if Bill never took up the awesome power of Thor. That’s what i want to write about here; a Bill that still feels like that cool juxtaposition but without the need to rely on Thor’s mythos (at least initially, I don’t have any solid long term plans as of yet).
As for Bill’s goals, at the moment it’s just to protect his people as they make their way to an idyllic new home scouted out before the home system’s cataclysm. Bill will have to deal with pirates, Surtur’s forces and whatever else I think would be cool to throw at him. Ideally I’d like to have him facing off against some New gods or maybe the forces of Thanos in the future but like I said before, I don’t have anything real concrete as of yet.
As for Bill’s goals, at the moment it’s just to protect his people as they make their way to an idyllic new home scouted out before the home system’s cataclysm. Bill will have to deal with pirates, Surtur’s forces and whatever else I think would be cool to throw at him. Ideally I’d like to have him facing off against some New gods or maybe the forces of Thanos in the future but like I said before, I don’t have anything real concrete as of yet.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
- One of my going ideas is having Bill collect various weapons over the course of the RP or possibly fill another hero’s shoes.
S A M P L E P O S T:
The Skuttlebutt moved slowly through space, leading arks from the many dead planets of the Burning Galaxy. A lone figure stood on the outside of the ship, housed within his EVA suit as he watched the dancing flames that followed behind the massive ship fleet. To the uninitiated the view would be beautiful but Bill knew the sinister nature of these cosmic flames. Fiends spawned from the remains of his home galaxy by a demon they knew as Surtur. The Korbonite looked at them with disgust as they matched the speed of the ships, them unable to catch up and him unable to outrun them. Taking a deep breathe from his recycled air, Beta Ray Bill turned away and headed back for the air lock of the Skuttlebutt.
It had been decades since what was left of the Korbonites fled from their home, rushing into a technological league they were in no way prepared for. Like many species of the universe the Korbonites yearned to see more and more of the universe but their best and brightest estimated it wouldn’t be safe enough without at least another century of research and development. Instead they had to scramble together massive monoliths of ships made of anything they could get their hands on; metal, polymer, wood and stone were just some of the components that made up their ugly fleet with interiors like rat’s nests and completely devoid of any life support. The only exception to this aesthetic was the Skuttlebutt, home to Bill and their guide through the great unknown.
Getting out of his EVA suit, Bill returned to the helm of his ship with only the sound of his footsteps and the ever so slight hum of the ship to keep him company. Over the years the thought of what he would do after the ships settled on their new home came to him more and more frequently. For the most part he’d been in isolation from any other living being, occasionally coming into contact with those that saw the odd ships as easy prey. Though Bill had lost a fair few Arks already, he’d taken down many more enemies in their wake. Trying to push both these thoughts from his mind, Bill sat down at the helm, looking as another solar system began to come into view. In an almost uncurious manner Bill turned on his general range comms receiver to hear what possible signals he could pick up from the incoming system as he normally did. As he settled in for another leg of his journey of monotony the speakers lit up with a decently clear transmission of a song.
It had been decades since what was left of the Korbonites fled from their home, rushing into a technological league they were in no way prepared for. Like many species of the universe the Korbonites yearned to see more and more of the universe but their best and brightest estimated it wouldn’t be safe enough without at least another century of research and development. Instead they had to scramble together massive monoliths of ships made of anything they could get their hands on; metal, polymer, wood and stone were just some of the components that made up their ugly fleet with interiors like rat’s nests and completely devoid of any life support. The only exception to this aesthetic was the Skuttlebutt, home to Bill and their guide through the great unknown.
Getting out of his EVA suit, Bill returned to the helm of his ship with only the sound of his footsteps and the ever so slight hum of the ship to keep him company. Over the years the thought of what he would do after the ships settled on their new home came to him more and more frequently. For the most part he’d been in isolation from any other living being, occasionally coming into contact with those that saw the odd ships as easy prey. Though Bill had lost a fair few Arks already, he’d taken down many more enemies in their wake. Trying to push both these thoughts from his mind, Bill sat down at the helm, looking as another solar system began to come into view. In an almost uncurious manner Bill turned on his general range comms receiver to hear what possible signals he could pick up from the incoming system as he normally did. As he settled in for another leg of his journey of monotony the speakers lit up with a decently clear transmission of a song.
P O S T C A T A L O G:
None yet
OP
rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
Member
Seen
10 days ago
B E T A R A Y B I L L
B E T A R A Y B I L L
B E T A R A Y B I L L
B E T A R A Y B I L L
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rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
Member
Seen
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C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
B E T A R A Y B I L L
B E T A R A Y B I L L
B E T A R A Y B I L L
B I L L ♦ C H A M P I O N ♦ S K U T T L E B U T T ♦ K O R B I N I T E I M P E R I U M
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”There’s not enough Space for the both of us fiend!"
The Korbinites were on a path of rapid technological advancement whilst still managing a good balance between nature and industry. This age of progress was stunted by the tyrant Darkseid as he began wreaking exponentially more havoc on the denizens of the Burning Galaxy looking for a fraction of the anti-life equation supposedly held by their people. In an effort to have their species survive, the Korbinites constructed massive spaceships out of the husks of their once colonized planets in order to escape Apokolips' infernal parademons created from their galaxy’s fallen. To guide their ships away from their dying galaxy, the Beta Ray initiative was implemented to find/construct a champion for all Korbonites. The soldier known as Bill was chosen to take up the title and through cybernetics, genetic tampering and, a legal name change, Beta Ray Bill was born. Manning the Skuttlebutt to lead the other ark spaceships away from their Burning Galaxy, Bill in his new form was destined to watch over his people’s odyssey across a dark sea that once spurred hope in the Korbonites but now seemed like an ever shrinking corner they were forced into.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
Beta Ray Thor kicks ass. Ever since I first saw him in the Planet Hulk movie I loved the idea of this distinctly sci-fi looking dude using some ancient godly power. The juxtaposition of the two themes really makes the character for me. That said I’ve always wondered what things were like before Thor and Bill crossed paths and what it would have been like if Bill never took up the awesome power of Thor. That’s what i want to write about here; a Bill that still feels like that cool juxtaposition but without the need to rely on Thor’s mythos (at least initially, I don’t have any solid long term plans as of yet).
As for Bill’s goals, at the moment it’s just to protect his people as they make their way to an idyllic new home scouted out before the home system’s cataclysm. Bill will have to deal with pirates, Darkseid's forces and whatever else I think would be cool to throw at him.
As for Bill’s goals, at the moment it’s just to protect his people as they make their way to an idyllic new home scouted out before the home system’s cataclysm. Bill will have to deal with pirates, Darkseid's forces and whatever else I think would be cool to throw at him.
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
- One of my going ideas is having Bill collect various weapons over the course of the RP or possibly fill another hero’s shoes.
S A M P L E P O S T:
The Skuttlebutt moved slowly through space, leading arks from the many dead planets of the Burning Galaxy. A lone figure stood on the outside of the ship, housed within his EVA suit as he watched the endless horde of parademons that followed behind the massive ship fleet. Fiends spawned from the remains of his home galaxy by a conquerer known as Darkseid. The Korbonite looked at them with disgust as they matched the speed of the ships, them unable to catch up and him unable to outrun them. Taking a deep breathe from his recycled air, Beta Ray Bill turned away and headed back for the air lock of the Skuttlebutt.
It had been decades since what was left of the Korbonites fled from their home, rushing into a technological league they were in no way prepared for. Like many species of the universe the Korbonites yearned to see more and more of the universe but their best and brightest estimated it wouldn’t be safe enough without at least another century of research and development. Instead they had to scramble together massive monoliths of ships made of anything they could get their hands on; metal, polymer, wood and stone were just some of the components that made up their ugly fleet with interiors like rat’s nests and completely devoid of any life support. The only exception to this aesthetic was the Skuttlebutt, home to Bill and their guide through the great unknown.
Getting out of his EVA suit, Bill returned to the helm of his ship with only the sound of his footsteps and the ever so slight hum of the ship to keep him company. Over the years the thought of what he would do after the ships settled on their new home came to him more and more frequently. For the most part he’d been in isolation from any other living being, occasionally coming into contact with those that saw the odd ships as easy prey. Though Bill had lost a fair few Arks already, he’d taken down many more enemies in their wake. Trying to push both these thoughts from his mind, Bill sat down at the helm, looking as another solar system began to come into view. In an almost uncurious manner Bill turned on his general range comms receiver to hear what possible signals he could pick up from the incoming system as he normally did. As he settled in for another leg of his journey of monotony the speakers lit up with a decently clear transmission of a song.
It had been decades since what was left of the Korbonites fled from their home, rushing into a technological league they were in no way prepared for. Like many species of the universe the Korbonites yearned to see more and more of the universe but their best and brightest estimated it wouldn’t be safe enough without at least another century of research and development. Instead they had to scramble together massive monoliths of ships made of anything they could get their hands on; metal, polymer, wood and stone were just some of the components that made up their ugly fleet with interiors like rat’s nests and completely devoid of any life support. The only exception to this aesthetic was the Skuttlebutt, home to Bill and their guide through the great unknown.
Getting out of his EVA suit, Bill returned to the helm of his ship with only the sound of his footsteps and the ever so slight hum of the ship to keep him company. Over the years the thought of what he would do after the ships settled on their new home came to him more and more frequently. For the most part he’d been in isolation from any other living being, occasionally coming into contact with those that saw the odd ships as easy prey. Though Bill had lost a fair few Arks already, he’d taken down many more enemies in their wake. Trying to push both these thoughts from his mind, Bill sat down at the helm, looking as another solar system began to come into view. In an almost uncurious manner Bill turned on his general range comms receiver to hear what possible signals he could pick up from the incoming system as he normally did. As he settled in for another leg of his journey of monotony the speakers lit up with a decently clear transmission of a song.
P O S T C A T A L O G:
None yet
OP
rocketrobie2 Money owns this town
Member
Seen
10 days ago
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T P R O P O S A L
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The Nostalgia Critic
Doug Walker ♦ Critic ♦ Illinois ♦ Channel Awesome
C H A R A C T E R C O N C E P T:
”Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to!“
Doing a justice for the denizens of the internet, now Mr.Walker has his spectacled eyes set on the DC universe! With numerous feats under his belt, The Nostalgia Critic will be perfectly accepted in the DC universes with the likes of Super-man and Arnold Burnsteel. HE will be shunted from the CACU (Channel Awesome cinematic Universe) and put in the dc universe via going into the phantom zone from his universe and then put into the dc universe from there.
C H A R A C T E R M O T I V A T I O N S & G O A L S:
The Nostalgia Critic is really cool and I want to write him out in a collaborative format. Being around Linkara for so long Doug would obviously want to bring his critic powers to the super hero scene and help the citizens of the planet. Why do I want play him? I don’t know man I’m a mess, my car wasn’t working and now that’s it’s running it need body work and all of my time has been taken up with that or school work to the point that I feel guilty for doing anything else and all my interests have fallen to the wayside to the point I don’t know if I like any of them anymore and I also just really enjoy the Chennal Awesome movies so why wouldn’t I want to play him!
C H A R A C T E R N O T E S:
I’m going to make him turn into a version of doctor insano in season two and have him deal with that
S A M P L E P O S T:
NC: Man, I remember that being a good teaser.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.
(He clicks on the video, and it plays)
Jor-El (voiced by Doug): Even though you have been raised as a human being, you are not one of them. (NC nods) They can be a great people, if they wish to be. I have sent them you, my son. (NC mouths, "Fucking awesome!", as the Superman logo appears) Superman.
NC: Man, that still holds up. Too bad the movie sucks ass.
(He clicks on something on YouTube, and several videos on how bad Superman Returns was are shown)
NC: The hell is this? I watched one Superman Returns video. It doesn't mean that's all I want to see.
(He clicks on another part of the YouTube site, only to come up with even more Superman Returns videos. NC groans and then clicks on the "Trending" page, which seems to be trolling NC now, because it consists of nothing but Superman Returns videos)
NC: No, Superman Returns will never be trending!
(He then does a search on news, and several videos on the Snyder Cut come up)
NC: Okay, that's a little different.
(He clicks on a video, and a nerdy woman in glasses, played by Tamara, appears)
Nerdy woman: Hey, movie nerds! Today, I want to talk about the Snyder Cut and how it's not Superman Returns.
NC: (confused) What the shit?
Nerdy woman: Now, I for one am shocked that's not Superman Returns. I mean, everything pointed to the Snyder Cut being Superman Returns. (NC stares in shock) ...Superman Returns!
(NC sighs and clicks on another video. This one is hosted by one of the Chart Guys (played by Malcolm))
Chart Guy: Today on "But the Chart Says...", we're going to be taking a look at the likelihood of the Snyder Cut becoming a hit. (NC sighs with relief) But seeing as how you clicked on a Superman Returns video, every video you see now has to be about that.
NC: (incredulously) How do you even know that?!
Chart Guy: You might be wondering to yourself how I would even know that. Well, if you look at the chart...
(He gestures toward a chart, which has appeared in the corner, which reads, "CLICK ON YOUTUBE VIDEOS = ALL RECOMMENDED VIDEOS WILL BE ABOUT THAT". NC sighs and throws his head around in frustration, realizing there is no other way out)
NC: All right, I guess I'm talking about Superman Returns.
(The title for Superman Returns is shown, followed by footage of it. Dozens of posters of various superhero movies, both made before and after this movie, are also shown in the opening thoughts)
NC (vo): In 2006, with almost 20 years since the last Superman movie, and several bizarre attempts with (Images of Nicolas Cage, Robert Downey, Jr., and Ben Affleck are superimposed) several bizarre people gone awry, Superman Returns settled on the master of comic book movies... (A rapid-fire montage of comic book movie producers is shown, before settling on Bryan Singer) ...at the time, Bryan Singer. He achieved surprising success with the first two X-Men films, so he seemed like a good middle-of-the-road choice for the Man of Steel. The only problem was, it was 2006. While superhero movies were just starting to make a comeback, they were nowhere near the powerhouse they are today. People didn't exactly know what the best way to handle them was, so they were mostly played pretty safe. Say what you will about comic book films after, but there's no doubt several of them pushed the envelope. Before then, even the biggest hits didn't take that many risks. Superman Returns might be the crowning achievement of playing it too safe. While certainly tapping on ideas that could be made interesting, it retreaded way too much of what's already been done before, resulting in a major bore-fest. Audiences mainly said the deep stuff is fine, but Superman doesn't even throw a punch in this, causing the film to majorly underperform at the box office. So, what happened to turn arguably the most popular superhero of all time into an excuse to catch some (An image of the Superman logo is superimposed, but with a Z instead of an S) super Zs?
(NC is shown coming into his review room)
NC: Let's talk about this two-and-a-half hour snoozer, as nobody else who talked about it I think could actually stay awake.
(The nerdy woman suddenly wakes up)
Nerdy woman: What? Oh. Uh, yeah, I tried, but I guess no one can get through this without falling asleep.
(The Chart Guy is shown holding a pillow and a blanket)
Chart Guy: I just thought that a pillow and blanket were required when discussing anything about this movie.
NC: (sighs) Let's snore our way through this with Superman Returns.
(The Chart Guy immediately falls asleep)
Chart Guy: (snoring) Charts, charts, charts, charts...
(The movie begins on the planet Krypton, Superman's home planet)
NC (vo): Okay, let's talk about, in my opinion, the biggest problem with the movie, and it's right at the beginning...
NC: Superman missing for years.
NC (vo): The excuse they go with is, astronomers discovered distant remains of Krypton and he vanished.
NC: Kinda weird, but I guess it could be interesting...
NC (vo): ...if we see the mindset, what led up to it, the choice of leaving his new home and the people he loves to possibly reconnect with the past one.
(Instead, it's all explained with simple text on the screen)
NC (vo): Nah, just text it to us! (Green arrows point out Superman's disappearance, told in a single sentence) In fact, only one sentence explained what happened; the rest reminds us what we already know! Is anyone going into a Superman movie really not aware of this information?
NC: It's like starting off The Dark Knight with...
(Text pops up reading: "Bruce Wayne is the guy dressed as a bat". Then after a beat, another word is added: "Dumbass". We then cut back to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It may seem odd spending the majority of time focusing on what's not needed, but you'll find that's kind of the wedding theme of this movie; it's gonna pop up over and over.
(The title for the movie is shown, which is identical to the original Superman, music and all)
NC (vo): So, you'll quickly put together this is supposed to take place in the same universe as the Richard Donner films, using the same theme and even casting their lead (Images of the two actors playing Superman are shown: Christopher Reeve and Brandon Routh) based on how much he looks and sounds like the late Christopher Reeve.
(Cut to a clip of the original Superman)
Superman (Christopher Reeve): (to Lois Lane) Well, I certainly hope this little incident hasn't put you off flying, miss. (Lois shakes her head)
(Cut to a clip of Superman Returns, on an airplane, which Superman had just saved from going out of control and crashing (given the oxygen masks hanging from the ceilings))
Superman (Brandon Routh): (to the crowd he had saved) Well, I hope this experience hasn't put any of you off flying.
NC (vo): Judging by the credits, you might think maybe this could work. The music and visuals are pretty cool, getting you hyped up...
NC: ...but tell me if this matches the style of the Donner films...
(As the credits end and the camera closes in on Earth, there is an abrupt cut to black for a beat before flashes of lightning illuminate the exterior of a mansion, with several cars parked outside)
NC: (dramatically) Superman battles (now imitating Scooby-Doo) g-g-g-ghosts!
NC (vo): This immediately doesn't match! It'd make more sense if this popped up after that shot...
(The mansion, illuminated by lightning, is shown again. This time, the words "Super Scooby Doo Where Are You!" pop up, while the Scooby-Doo theme plays)
NC (vo; singing): Super Scooby-Doo, where are you? (normal) It looks like a dying old millionaire is leaving to Lex Luthor for, sadly, the exact reason you would expect.
Millionaire: (to Luthor) You've shown me pleasures that I've never known.
(A shot of a CG-animated girl is shown in the corner)
Girl: Ewwww! (covers her mouth)
NC (vo): ...as the cast of Knives Out discover this via a snarky Kevin Spacey performance.
(Lex Luthor, who seemed to have hair as he entered the room, pulls on his hair, which comes off his head easily, revealing that it was only a wig, and his dome is as bald as ever. He gives his wig to a little girl)
Luthor: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
(The little girl screams)
NC: Agreed. By far, that's the most shocking thing Kevin Spacey will ever reveal about himself.
NC (vo): Meanwhile, in Smallville, we see Superman's mother [Martha Kent, played by Eva Marie Saint] playing Scrabble with her dog... She might be nuts. ...as something lands in her backyard.
(As Martha looks out the window to investigate, she spots a huge meteorite crashing into the ground. Cut briefly to a clip of (I don't know what the movie is))
Man: Vegas.
(Cut back again to Superman Returns)
NC (vo): It looks like it's Clark, played this time by Brandon Routh, arriving home via Kryptonian pod. You might be wondering where he got that pod from. Did he make it? Did he find it?
(A clip of the original Superman movie, showing the pod Kal-El was delivered in as a baby is shown)
NC (vo): Is it the one he was delivered to Earth in, made to fit a grown man instead of a baby?
(The opening words about the astronomers discovering the remains of Kryptonian is shown in the corner)
NC: We wrote you a sentence! (reaches out hand) Check, please!
(We then cut to a ship in a storm, rolling over some violent waves as it does)
NC (vo; singing to the Gilligan's Island theme): The movie started getting dull, this boring film will flop...
(Meanwhile, Luthor and his henchmen enters Superman's Fortress of Solitude)
Henchman: Was this his house?
Luthor: This is where he learned who he was.
NC (vo): Lex Luthor goes searching for Superman's home once more, as this version is kinda (A shot of the poster for Halloween is superimposed) Halloween-ing itself, as rather than work with the challenges of (Posters for remakes/sequels of classic movies are shown: Creed, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, The Purge: Election Year, Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse) the previous bad films like other clever franchises, Singer does what he always does: says, (Posters of X-Men: Days of Future Past and Superman Returns are shown) "Nah, I don't wanna," (A shot of an Etch-a-Sketch is shown shaking) then shakes up the franchise like an Etch-a-Sketch. So now, (Posters for the first two Superman movies are shown briefly) only Parts 1 and 2 are canon, even though I can't think of anything in (Posters for the third and fourth Superman movies are shown now) III and IV that technically gets in the way of anything here. In fact, I'd argue if Superman is aware (A shot of Luthor in the first movie is superimposed) Lex Luthor knows where he is, he'd upgrade his security a little bit, at the very least to beef up (A shot of a German shepherd is shown) Krypto [Supes' dog]. And yes, I do appreciate the irony that a film ignoring previous installments in a franchise is (Posters for later movies featuring Superman are shown: Man of Steel, Batman v Superman, Justice League) ignored by the continuing installments in the franchise.
(Jor-El's face appears in one of the crystal screens)
Jor-El (Marlon Brando): My son...you do not remember me...
NC (vo): Luthor comes across a crystal with Superman's father, played by Marlon Brando's...let's just assume pissed-off ghost, who is unaware he's talking to Luthor.
Luthor: Tell me everything...starting with crystals.
NC: And cinematography...
(Shots of wide-angle closeups in other Singer productions are shown)
NC (vo): ...as Singer is still convinced wide-angle closeups are the only shots there are.
(We then cut back to the Kent farm, where Clark Kent is seen)
NC (vo): Clark wakes up at his mother's, has a flashback to when he was a kid playing with his powers, and tells his mom he didn't find anything on his journey.
Martha: Five years to find what you were looking for. Your home.
Clark: That place was a graveyard. I'm all that's left.
NC (vo): You might be wondering what he's talking about exactly. What are the details of this already-vague setup?
(The "astronomers" message is shown next to NC again)
NC: The sentence is (points to it) right there! You're gonna make him think he did a bad job!
(The message shakes up and down, with the sound of crying added in, as though the message is the one crying. NC looks at it)
NC: No, no, no, sentence, you were great, you did wonderful. (points at camera) They're wrong!
NC (vo): Apparently, this is enough to jump right back to normal, as Clark goes back to the Daily Planet, ran by the loud and eccentric Perry White, played by the sleepy-eyed and fascinatingly disinterested Frank Langella.
(A montage of clips of White is shown)
White: I want to know it all, everything. / Lois, Superman. / (looking at a piece of paper) What are these, lottery numbers? / Yeah, that makes you an expert, so you're gonna do them again. / Great Caesar's Ghost! / Come on!
NC: This man was Skeletor! (A shot of Skeletor from He-Man and the Masters of the Universe is shown) There was no way he was told to go bigger, and he held back!
Clark: Thank you for giving me my job back.
White: Don't thank me, thank Norm Parker for dying.
Jimmy Olsen (Sam Huntington): (to Clark) It was his time.
NC: The doctor said (A shot of Superman firing his eye laser beams at what looks like Norm Parker is shown in the corner) twin lasers through the heart, but we all know it was old age.
NC (vo): He also discovers Lois Lane, played by "I'm this many" Kate Bosworth, won a Pulitzer for her story "Why the World Doesn't Need Superman". (A shot of the editorial is shown, along with additional words added in by NC...) "...and Clark Kent is a Douche too".
Jimmy: (looking at a photograph of Lois, who has a child of her) He looks just like his mom. Fearless reporter Lois Lane is a mommy.
NC: (as Jimmy) She gave birth when she was fifteen! (normal) No, seriously, check the birth date. (A shot of Bosworth's page on IMDB is shown, showing she was born on January 2, 1983) Do the math. A little weird.
NC (vo): Lex returns to the mansion, where they see one of the dogs ate the other!
Kitty Kowalski (Parker Posey): (looking at dog, still chewing) Weren't there two of those?
NC: Dammit, that's so dark, I kinda have no choice but to love it.
NC (vo): ...where he tells Kumar to test the power of the crystal on a model of the city.
This article is a stub. You can help Channel Awesome by expanding it.
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MOON KNIGHT
Marc Spector, 26-27 (b. 1952-54)Vigilante operating out of California
Active since approximately Summer 1967
Character Concept
In the early days of the Vietnam war a unit of American Soldiers got lost in the dense growths of Vietnam. The group happened upon a large farm house with clear signs that more than just a single family was living there. After resting, the troop's leader came across something stunning; a small collection of pure gold statues and jewellery hidden away under the home. At that time the residents of the building returned; a large collection of women donned in silver. They were understandably angry with the foreigners breaking into their abode. Seeing the potential profit from the found score, one of the troop members decided the loot was theirs for the taking. Wanting out of the war and into the lap of luxury, Ronald Bushman fired on his comrades and the women. Bushman took the group by surprise and managed to single handedly take the farm house with most of his previous troop fleeing and carrying each other back into the brush. One of the few left behind troop members was instead taken away by the remaining women to a small cave not to far from the house.
The women fully intended to take their revenge on the wounded soldier, an outlet for their anger towards the one that took their home. However, before too much harm was done the priest spoke up and put a stop to the act. Feeling their anger was mostly aimed at the wrong man, the priest declared that their deity Lieu Hanh had declared him to be a champion of hers and to help the tribe. At this declaration the soldier's heart finally gave out. In his near death state the man had a vision; he was on the surface of the moon with a bald woman bearing ash white skin and red eyes. She reiterated what the priest had said, bestowing the mission to the soldier to destroy the evil of the world and protect the good. After noticing the man's slipping conciseness the women who had been holding the bloody and broken man dropped him, restarting his heart. In the next day he was nursed back to relative health until the reappearance of Bushman at the cave.
Having packed up all the trinkets he could carry, he now came in search of a guide and any other treasures housed in the cave. Rather than that, Bushman found his felled brother in arms donned in a silver cloak and hood. The pillager brought his gun up to fire once more as the soldier raced for Bushman. By shear luck the gun jammed, giving the soldier enough time to get close and and bash Bushman with a small statue dedicated to Hanh. The fight was bloody but short. Both combatants were running on empty and in the end both fell to the forests floor though only one was left living.
The soldier woke up days later in excruciating pain in an American camp. His doctor told him he was delivered to the camp by some locals who left in a hurry after leaving him and some possessions, of which included many of his missing troop's dogtags, a bloodied statue and the cloak they'd found him in. When asked to recount the events the soldier told his doctor he couldn't remember the events of the last few days and most of his life at that point. Wether from shell-shock or wounds, the soldier couldn't seem to recall much more than his name. As such Marc Spector was sent home in light of his injuries and hampered mental facilities.
The Spector family threw a party to welcome their blood home, shilling over a small fraction of their 'old money' to give the man the best of the best in plastic surgery, coming out nigh identical to before his conscription. Spector had only vague memories of the family around him but was grateful to be home nonetheless. Marc Spector's life was a good one after the serving his time though at night he couldn't help but feel empty, staring at the statue trinket left with him by his supposed saviours in overseas. This continued for a few months before Hanh returned to Marc in his dream. Giving him a grace period to heal properly, Hanh gave her demands to her champion once more, jogging his memory. Literally overnight Marc Spector bid farewell to his family as he planned to move to California. His parents didn't like losing their son again but were content with having him in country.
While being driven to his new home, Marc pondered how he could go about following the will of Hanh. As if by divine intervention the radio came on about about a masked vigilante in Gotham City taking down criminals in the dead of night. This snippet was enough to inspire Marc to take up his carefully packed away cloak and make a vigilante persona of his own. Inspired by his first meeting with his patron,
Essentially this is Barbara Gordon… Year Zero… in 1967-68? Roughly. Errors will be made. Fun will be had.
Largely independent of the Batman writer, though at some point he’s going to need to teach Barbara some new things. Probably on weekends. That aside, the idea here is to tell serialized pulp stories that you might not find in the modern DCU due to how advanced technology is and how it creates threats in said stories. Ultimately I have in mind to touch themes of the 60’s Women’s Liberation movement, the cultural drift due to the new generation and its counterculture, and the tension between mutants by extremists. All while Barbara stumbles around and gets her ass kicked. Hopefully, she’ll not be too incompetent.
Some storyline pitches to consider:
- The Purifiers rounding up accused mutants and trying to execute them in Robinson Park, because of course it’s Robinson Park.
- A film production of Dread Castle halts around Old Gotham when two cast members turn up dead. Whispers of the production being cursed happen. Babs investigates!
- Potential crossover with the one and only Boy Wonder, though how does he stand up against the newly minted Batgirl? Will she be lectured about endangering her life? Probably!
- Possibly some drama at Agatha Wayne’s Finishing School for Young Girls, a prepatory academy that Barbara goes to.
Key Notes
Listed below will be my scratchpad for all events, key definitions, and ongoing/potential arcs that I’ll involve myself with through this character.
The first notation of most importance is the family dynamic of the Gordon family in this universe. Jim is the Captain of GCPD’s central precinct and Barbara’s mother serves as a Professor of foreign languages at Kane College, Gotham’s central university that is as old as it is prestigious. As mentioned in the character concept section, Barbara was a talented gymnast that was projected to be an Olympic-level talent before she quit abruptly in the previous summer. She’s highly gifted beyond this and her scholarship to Agatha Wayne’s Finishing School for Young Girls is certainly in danger with her out of the gymnastics program. This has put stress on Barbara, but her mother has pulled what little influence she has a College Professor to keep her in school in spite of her decision to quit gymnastics.
In the recent weeks, Barbara has been moonlighting as a vigilante; inspired by the Justice Society and more specifically, Batman. She has met Batman, but she hasn’t met Batman. There’s also the matter of her older brother, who is a current patient at the Arkham Asylum for the Mentally & Criminally Ill. More on that later, but it’s important.
Barbara’s skills beyond being an Olympic-level gymnast also are to facilitate her intelligence. In conventional DC stories Barbara is described as a computer expert, but in 1968 computers are not a thing a middle class girl from south Gotham has access to. So her intelligence is portrayed here in more practical ways; in how she can memorize things quickly and adeptly like foreign languages, in being savvy with the science of chemistry, critical thinking, and mechanical engineering. She is not a trained fighter yet, so all of her fighting skill is currently reactive, though she does pick up things she sees well.
So enough to really be true to the character but without going too hard into “she is good at everything, okay” territory.
With that out of the way I can explain some characters of note, events of importance, and other such things.
Characters of Note
Captain James Gordon
Her father, and the Captain of the 1st Precinct of the Gotham City Police Department.
Notable Events and Lore
TBD
Ongoing & Upcoming Arcs
The Terror
References / Sample Post
I come by every weekend. To the old asylum.
It’s an old brick and mortar building, pieced together in Gotham’s quaint, creepy way. Everything that’s older than the 20th Century looks like its straight out of a Dracula picture. Arkham is no exception. I hate it.
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It’s an old brick and mortar building, pieced together in Gotham’s quaint, creepy way. Everything that’s older than the 20th Century looks like its straight out of a Dracula picture. Arkham is no exception. I hate it.
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