Dean Winchester
Dean stepped forward toward the door of Rusty's reaching his hand out and touching the handle. He lowered his head for a second, and turned to the girls, his eyes first falling on Esme. There was a pit in his stomach, a pit that had been there since the day they parted. Things were so good. Things were almost perfect, and he made a mistake, that ruined everything. Just a few words and she practically ran from him.
But when he came to her, he was so broken. He was drunk, banged up, and actively trying to convince anyone that would have him...to kill him. Before he could succeed, she brought him in, gave him a safe ear and a warm bed. If it was possible in life, to have more than one great love...Esme was one of two. It's why his heart was so torn.
As he chewed on his lip, he thought back to the good times. One scene, in particular, played over in his mind, like a vivid movie. He almost knew that if Mika could have just seen (outside of the more illicit memories) how Esme kept him safe from himself, and from hurting others, she might understand.
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Ravenden, Arkansas - 5 years earlierDean sat with a small groan, glad to finally be off his feet for the day. The hunt he and Esme had been on was exhausting, and even though it was open and shut, he felt like they had walked for miles.
Shaking himself out of a tired haze, he looked up at her and smirked, "You know, I've been around you now for a while...and you still impress me, every day?"
He pulled her onto his lap with a small laugh and leaned in for a kiss, butterflies still coming up in his stomach when their lips touched. This was the happiest moment Dean Winchester could remember in a long time, on the road, with someone he cared about...no worries. Just hunting, and spending time together.
Esme stood close by Dean as he sat down. She was exhausted, but still felt wired at the same time as the events played out in her mind. Even if it had been open and shut, it had taken more out her than she expected. His voice pulled her out of her thoughts and brought a bright smile to her lips.
“I impress you? How could I possibly do that?” she asked in mock surprise. When he pulled her into his lap, she couldn't stop the laugh that followed. She put an arm around his neck, resting her hand on his shoulder and her other hand rested on his chest. When he leaned in for a kiss, she hesitated briefly, feeling her own butterflies in her stomach, before closing the gap by brushing her nose against his and kissing him back.
Dean didn't answer right away, just enjoying their closeness as he kissed her, and then pulled back, brushing his nose against hers with a sweet smile on his lips. Just the touch of skin was like a magnet, when he was stressed, or when he got lost in her thoughts.
"The fact that you don't know...", he scoffed, "The way you handle yourself on a hunt, but are absolutely calm and collected when we're home. It impresses me. I wish I could be more like that."
It was true. Every time they came back to the motel, he couldn't help but notice how calm they both seemed around each other. His rage wasn't as much of an issue, and honestly, he was getting used to the new constant.
Esme sighed softly into the kiss, taking in the closeness and calm that washed over her. She knew it sounded silly, but this was when she felt the most content and calm. With his arms around her and his lips against hers, how could she not? When he pulled back, she almost chased after his kiss, not wanting it to end.
A smile returned to her lips as his nose brushed her, and she saw his sweet smile. “That truly impresses you?” she grinned. She closed her eyes and shook her head softly before opening them again. “You want to know a secret?” she asked him in a whisper. She hesitated for effect, not really expecting him to say yes or no. “It’s because I’m returning with you.” she confessed.
“If I were doing this on my own, I don’t think I’d be so calm and collected.” She gazed into his eyes to show him she really meant it. Not to mention, she strived to be that way so he wouldn’t worry about her. She then slid her hand from his chest up to rest on his cheek. “You’re getting there. A little more work and you’ll have it.” she smiled as she stroked his cheek with her thumb.
Dean smiled even brighter at her question, and nodded, kissing her chin. He raised his eyebrows and pulled his head back to look at her when she confessed that he was her reason for her feeling safe and calm. He had always seen her as the reason he was able to handle himself, outside of just killing and being angry.
He had never seen herself as her calm. He looked into her eyes, scanning between each of them carefully, before letting his eyes flutter closed at her touch, with a gasp, “It just feels good to not feel…mad all the time. I can relate. I wouldn’t be alive, if it weren’t for you, if I’m being honest.”
He hated the words leaving his mouth, as he felt that they made him seem weak, but he felt the need to finally tell her.
Esme had watched his reaction as she confessed what she had been hiding from him. It wasn’t something she had fully planned on doing, but his reaction couldn’t have been better. It seemed that all this time they had been each other's calm, and it filled her heart with joy and she smiled. She then watched as his eyes fluttered shut and gasped at her touch, making her smile even more.
“I know it does. You don’t know how much it hurt seeing you like that.” she whispered as she stroked his cheek again. She then leaned in and placed her forehead on his when he said he was alive because of her. “You give me too much credit.” she whispered, closing her eyes. She knew it was something for him to tell her that, thinking she’d think him weak, but she thought the opposite.
Dean let out a shuddered sigh, and shook his head, "No. You don't get
enough credit..."
Rolling his forehead against hers, he brushed his nose by hers, and kissed her deeply. After a few seconds of the kiss, he stood carefully from the chair, not pulling away from her, and picked her up.
He ran over to the bed with a giggle against her lips and threw her onto the mattress...
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Dean shook himself from the memory, and smiled warmly toward Esme with a sigh. He then turned to face Mika, walking over and opening her car door, offering his arm to her.
"Need a hand?", he asked her sweetly.
What Dean didn't know, was Cupid was placing an arrow into his bow...and the arrow was not aimed in the direction any of them had hoped. The cherub sat on top of Rusty's roof, tears still in his eyes from the scene earlier in the night. He wanted to get this one right. He took aim at Dean again, placing his bounty with a delay, for the right...time...