Too nitpicky for my taste, good luck on it, I'm sure it'll be fun for others. 👍
This isn't for me, i wish ya the best of luck on it tho 👍
I'm still here.
A few things popped up that were distracting me. I'm working on a character concept :P
<Snipped quote by HEAVY METAL>
<Snipped quote by HEAVY METAL>
I didn't mean to nitpick you into leaving the RP, Like Odd said the backstory doesn't need to be 100% right this second.
However if you truly don't want to put any more effort into reading the lore and developing a character that fits it I suggest sticking to the Free Roleplay section of the site.
This is Casual Roleplay where its expected to produce 1 or 2 paragraphs per post. Id expect at least that much in a backstory before its considered complete.
Name: Sarah Kruze
Age: 22
Height and weight: 5"3 103 lbs[
Where are you from? The Colony Atlas
Quick skills: Convincing lying, good with children and able to throw her voice.
Advanced skills: Hacking, self-taught from a young age. She found a glitch in a library terminal which she exploited to elevate her access from children's literature to more adult topics. Ever since then she learned more and more. Most of her knowledge comes from a small highly illegal book that resided in her families personal collection. Mechanical design and repair, this knowledge is mostly theoretical and comes from handed-down information through the generations and books from the family library. She has some limited experience from fixing the occasional clock and watch that survived the end of the surface. Electronics, again, mostly theoretical, since parts are quite rare indeed to tinker with and without a college education? Pretty inaccessible. This comes from the library and a few dozen books in the family library.
Backstory: Sarah comes from what was effective nobility. A descendant of Tenna Kruze, whom without, the Atili just simply wouldn't have existed. His skills in Multidisciplinary engineering skills were simply legendary and the family continued on in his name, every expansion and major project the Atili commenced had A Kruze at its helm or involved. That was until about 30 years ago when Lindon Azure became convinced through calculation that the surface world was habitable. Of course, the government had known this for some time, but Lindon was quick to try and spread that information in a way that was provable and easy to understand. The funny thing was, his father, and his father's father all knew this. It just was never spoken, they knew the culture of the government, they'd worked within its inner circles all their lives. He'd committed the gravest of sins, and he paid for it with his life. His son Andrew thought well of his father, and quickly dragged the family's name through the mud. By the time Sarah was born? The family's once-legendary finances were rotten. Much of the wealth of the Kruze family was in its connections and ability to get things done. With Lindon disappeared and his son obsessed with his father's work and vanishing the connections the family had maintained had dried up, once Sarah was of age for university? Well, they simply didn't have the finances, nor the connections to get her education to be formalized. It didn't mean she didn't have the legendary Kruze mind, it's just she didn't have that piece of paper to work in the fields they were famous for.
With that, Sarah began to fall in with the wrong crowds, rebels, degenerates, free thinkers. It only served to tarnish her family's name more, it didn't matter too much though, the reality was, the name was already mud. There was little she could do to recover, nor build the name back to what it once was. A few families stuck by them, but they were of lesser provenance and couldn't do much to help. Now? She's among the better hackers in the atli, and she's found quite some information that could get her vanished like her grandfather, she refused to let her dad in on anything, he was close enough to being disappeared as it was, but she wanted nothing more than vengeance on the government for their crimes. For that list is long and varied.
Hahaha, lool. I fucked up. :P
Hmm,
In order to keep the surname. Perhaps her husband took her name?
<Snipped quote by DarkStar>
Everything in the biography looks amazing! Though, I would like to mention that Asmus and Tenna the 'creators' of civilization. Tenna was actually a female. I know this isn't specified at all, but I would like to clear things up because you are deriving from one of the important people in history!
Plus, I think in the future when I think through it enough. We will be having a PM conversation about your character and maybe the way they can help the rebellion against the Altas government if that sounds fun!
With all said, after you make the minor changes, you can put your character right into the character section! congratulations!
<Snipped quote by Emeth>
I wouldn't say that at all, Emeth. There are no need for such words, I was just politely telling you that in the lore, surface dwellers do not have the information, skills, or means to be advanced with technology like the Atlas civilization. The character idea you came up with is completely fine. The backstory/recent events would not be able to correlate with each other.
<Snipped quote by Emeth>
Yes I do believe this qualifies as anime. I think Odd would prefer more drawn out facial features so we actually know what the face looks like. That being said, I could totally see the bodyguard for officials being a thing however maybe instead of body integral weapons youre just programed to be good at using weapons? also... instead of being rescued by resistance or whatever that case may be. Maybe you just gained consciousness and decided to leave? (Because you knew as well as them, they couldnt stop you) yknow?
<Snipped quote by OddApproved>
I mean. Maybe it was just a weird server error, but I saw an image of, I guess, what looked to me like WoW universe OCs, a red devil-looking girl and a green guy, in a western comic style—no overly cutesy faces or any grossly exaggerated body proportions though, so I thought maybe that might be more of what you meant by "anime," and took a chance that something with a grittier mood might be accepted, even if the art style shared the namesake. It did look out of place, which is why I asked about it. I see what I assume is the correct image now.
You didn't give me an "oops, wrong image" or anything in your response, and I wasn't sure how to take that other than an emphatic "oh my god weeb trash alert, ew no, let me change the rules really quick." The third image is probably the least realistic of the three, but still considerably more detailed than what I put forward, so now I just look like an idiot, and... yeah. It seemed like a lost cause to try to defend any of my ideas. If "cloudinary" (never heard of that hosting site) pulled a fast one on me, I apologize for the sass.
<Snipped quote by Tsukai>
If body integral weapons are a problem for story reasons, like it needs to be possible for her weapons to get taken away, that's possible and we can work that out. If it helps, I did imagine her as more of a mechanical, "primitive model" whose armaments could be disabled or broken by sticks and stones if they were shoved in the right joints with enough force. On the plus side, her arm mechanisms would be primitive enough that surface dwellers could repair them—her brain, not so much. I'd want her to feel out of her element on the surface, handling surface weapons—like her arms could be disabled, someone hands her a bow and arrow and she's like "uh... what am I supposed to do with this?" I think that being a cyborg with heavy metal arms already gives her a huge advantage, so making her good with weapons in general (thank you for reminding me of the Jackie Chan ladder fight) is too much of a good thing. Filling those arms with weapons that can get jammed, twisted off, waterlogged, or just plain overheat when used too much gives me a bit more confidence in saying "yeah, this is balanced."
Following on that point about feeling out of place, I did want her to look at least a little inhuman at first glance; not uncanny valley terrifying, but just enough questionable features (white hair, red eyes, too-perfect face for example) that surface dwellers would know that she's not human and distrust her at first, even if she were dressed like one of them. Thought a "grittier" anime style might provide just enough of that effect, but now that we're here, try this on for size instead:
A fully artificial being suddenly becoming sentient would probably have a lot of explaining to do! By cyborg, I meant that she is part cybernetic, part organism. Imagine something at least somewhat human-looking on the outside, like the cast of Metal Gear Rising, but more mechanically primitive on the inside, like General Grievous from Star Wars Episode III. She used to be a normal person, once—possibly a terminally ill patient who hastily agreed to become what she did to go on living in some capacity, while her poor family receives a pittance in exchange for her service, her brain and some choice organs. As for why they wouldn't just make an android with a system that runs 100% on artificial intelligence, maybe this is a cheaper option, or maybe some powerful people are just sick and enjoy the thought that they have complete control over something that used to be a person with free will.
When I say she was rescued by activists, I didn't mean surface dwellers, but some "free the cyborgs" type people from below. If such a group doesn't exist, or aren't capable of disabling and kidnapping a cyborg, I'm fine with the receiver in her brain or whatever was controlling her having a factory defect, and my girl just casually playing it cool until she saw a chance to escape. I chose the deprogramming angle so that she could lose her memories from that time along with it and not remember any forbidden story knowledge you wouldn't want her to have. So, she could at least have been in the service of someone influential and interesting, and not just some minor B-list celebrity or throwaway NPC—could probably use some ideas there, if you're fine with that.
Please let me know if she's a welcome concept now that I've cleared up some things.
I do think I want her to start in Atlas and end up on the surface later, yes. Probably not very happy with the government, so she'd be with the activists/rebels. If her tech is (relatively) old at the time of the RP it makes sense that even if she once served as a bodyguard for some rich guy when her tech was state-of-the-art she'd probably have been sold once something better came out, and no matter where you go it seems the military is generally not a very picky customer. Maybe her rescuers didn't even have to deprogram her, they simply caught her and a few others in transit when ownership was being transferred and just booted her up again before she could be fully reprogrammed. One day she's signing paperwork in the hospital, and the next thing she knows her heads-up display is telling her that an error has occurred: orders cannot be retrieved, report to your CO immediately.
Depending on how fast technology advances in this setting, a lot of time may have passed, do you have an opinion on that?
I do know she'd likely have some more Star Wars tier tech like laser weapons, my question was more along the lines of how quickly do they innovate in the weapons tech department? Like for example the graphics card in your computer can be significantly outdated in less than a decade. I guess what I'm trying to find out is how old should she be? I know you don't need an exact age, but I'm guessing you'd appreciate something narrower than, say, anywhere between 30 and 80 years old, lol.
So let's say there are cooler cyborg arms out there with artificial muscles, more in line with the MGR type design, how long until her buyer went "wow, the new models are way better?" Is her family still alive after all this time? That's where my head's at, in the finer details before I grab the CS and write the story version of all my ramblings.
