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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Raylah
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*mysterious silence*
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Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Damo021
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Here is my WIP sheet for you guys to get a feel for the FSA. sorry for hold ups, Only a few sections to be completed, for now are blank until they are fully complete. but I present to you the FSA so far.

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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Dog
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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@Dog

First of all: I really, really like the quirky and conversational way that you wrote this.

Second of all: it's a good sign that I'm doing this here, instead of in a PM. I only critique publicly when the problems are very mild.

Honestly, all I really need from you is more. I don't care about sheet length (my own sheet is hilariously short) but it feels like there's a lot of vital stuff missing here. You mention that the Federal Union conquered an alien civilization: when, how, why? And if you are going to include aliens, I also need those talked about somewhere. What do they look like? Who are they? We know nothing about them but their species' name.

Also, you've talked to us about how (wage) slavery was a component of your nation, but I don't really see that reflected here.

We've discussed in Discord how sheets here are pretty mild. That's true! But if your nation has something special about it- aliens, wage slaves- then you should still describe that special thing. So if you can just fill those missing sections out, I can approve you and you can get posting :)
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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@Dog
Edits look nice: you're super approved. I'm honestly fascinated by the Ozols and def. hope we'll get to learn more about them IC.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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Just wanna say congratulations you guys! In under six months, we made to tens pages!
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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It's been a wild ride. A war, a civil uprising, multiple conflicts, too many diplomatic meetings to possibly count, trade deals and mercenary hirings and character moments and monkeys and who knows what I'm forgetting.

I'm thinking about doing the "Achievements" thing again soon.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Enigmatik
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Enigmatik Overly-Caffienated Thembie Supreme

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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by SgtEasy
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SgtEasy S'algood bro

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Hey @Sigma, is there a nation sheet for the Gaians out?
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Sigma
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@SgtEasy Yup, just haven't posted it in the character tab. It's in page 15.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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Antediluvixen Kemonomimi Dystopia Creator

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Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Dog
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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@Lady Lascivious

This is probably one of the best sheets I've ever gotten, in a story-telling sense. I love the feeling that, by the end, the Tiamat are a completely traumatized people: trying to wipe out the natives because they might speak of the Terrible Truth. They even gouged their own eyes out so they don't have to see it. Spoopy.

Questions:
How would the redundant brain be able to transfer memories in the event of physical-death? Like, say you got shot in the head. How can your primary brain, that just got shot and is dying, have time to transfer anything to the secondary, redundant brain? Wouldn't primary brain die first? It can't be instant, since- if I remember correctly- the brain stores some things physically. Unless all memories, thoughts and feelings are always been stored on both brains, simultaneously?

You never explain what the Hive strain is, or where it come from. I guess that's intended to be in one of the archives?

@Dog
I'll have to check out your sheet a little later on.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Antediluvixen
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Antediluvixen Kemonomimi Dystopia Creator

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@Lady Lascivious

This is probably one of the best sheets I've ever gotten, in a story-telling sense. I love the feeling that, by the end, the Tiamat are a completely traumatized people: trying to wipe out the natives because they might speak of the Terrible Truth. They even gouged their own eyes out so they don't have to see it. Spoopy.

Questions:
How would the redundant brain be able to transfer memories in the event of physical-death? Like, say you got shot in the head. How can your primary brain, that just got shot and is dying, have time to transfer anything to the secondary, redundant brain? Wouldn't primary brain die first? It can't be instant, since- if I remember correctly- the brain stores some things physically. Unless all memories, thoughts and feelings are always been stored on both brains, simultaneously?

You never explain what the Hive strain is, or where it come from. I guess that's intended to be in one of the archives?


First of all, thank you very much! Your praise means a lot ^-^

And second: The redundant brain is essentially a small, real-time backup located within the armored organ sac of the Ishtari. If you are shot in the head, you will be for all intents and purposes dead - but a snapshot of your consciousness in the moment preceding it will continue to function. Some times this organ can malfunction, and begin to develop a secondary consciousness that cannot actually control the body but can some times war with the main one, and it's always a massive can of worms figuring out what to do. So it is, well, yeah - it's two brains operating in tandem, with one sending everything it decides to the other to be stored or overwritten.

Third: The Hive Strain will be partially explained in one of the archives, but it's also intended to retain some mystery about it to fuel people's imaginations about just what could impart such primal fear in them at the mere similarity to it. Essentially, the hive strain were the at first cloned, and then... I think the best way to put it is "reprocessed" organisms derived from the DNA of a contemporary of Tiamat herself. A well regarded geneticist, exactly what experiments lead to him becoming the first Hive Strain is unknown, but they formed a hive mind that was in part enabled by a fleshy web of nervous tissue that covered the surfaces of the regions of the ship they held. The Hive Strain resembled... pretty much a fusion of human and spider, I've attached an image below that's pretty close to what I envisioned. They were in many regards even harder to kill and more adaptable than the current Ishtari, even able to survive vacuum exposure for some time, and attempted to forcibly assimilate the rest of the ship's crew. Tyranid style ^-^

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Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by jorvhik
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Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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@jorvhik
Yo, love the feel here. I have a weakness for technobarbs and you are exploiting it for approval, I can feel it. :

But for real, there's only one issue I gotta ask you to correct. If you've spotted the Discord chat lately, you can tell there's been some debate about the existence of fusion. In the tech section, you mention probable fusion used to generate weapons. We might wanna change that.

Perhaps their energy weapons simply use batteries, created via non-portable fission reactors somewhere? It would mean an energy sword could run out of juice on the battlefield- but that sounds like a fun thing to write. Drama!

If you can edit that, you're approved and may drop your NS in the char tab and start posting whenever.

Can I offer a bit of personal advice tho? You seem to have based Kudrion society entirely off of martial acts. That's totally fine for the NS, but in IC, remember that even the most warlike of people are still human. What does a warrior do when they aren't fighting? What about the Kudrions who don't fight at all, like the old? Humans aren't Klingons. Just a thing to keep in mind.

@Lady Lascivious
Approved!

@Dog

Messaging on Discord. Stuff we should discuss.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by jorvhik
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@Tortoise I have removed all mention of the fusion technology from my sheet, as most other sheets didn't seem to mention power sources for their tech either. I do ask that you give my sheet a once-over so that I can be sure everything is okay, and then I will post it in the characters tab with your approval.
Hidden 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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@jorvhik
Approved!

Can't wait to be decapitated by one of these guys.
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Hidden 3 yrs ago 3 yrs ago Post by Tortoise
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Still need to finish the Military and History sections, but:

EDIT: Now just the history section!

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