Josh followed her out, feeling lucky they were both still in their clothing from the day before or he would have pulled Serena back inside. "right, you sure you're strong enough for this?" he asked her, slightly jogging to walk beside her and without even thinking about it, he reached his hand out and took hers into his.

Chas sighed and watched his mate falling into that dangerous moment where he could mentally dip back down into that hole of self pitying. "don't think like that just yet. You don't know what her reasons were for walking away just now. Other than she needed to just be alone for a moment. When she comes back, I think you two need to have a chat alone without any of the rest of us around." he told him.

Kay stood up and sighed, trying to gain that mental strength to go show her face to John and the others again, not knowing that Josh and Serena had left. "you can do this Kay, it's just John." she told herself, taking a few deep breaths to try and steady herself before she stepped forward and opened the door. "you're not gonna ruun away now.. Not this time Kay. You're gonna face this head on with him" she told herself under her breath, then walked out the room and down the hall to the main room area where the others were.

"Chas, Trish? Mind leaving me alone with John so we can talk?" she requested. Her voice ringing out and making Chas look up and behind him, "sure" he replied, gesturing for Trish to follow him.

Serena smiled and nodded as they walked. “Yes I’m alright. The fresh air helps a bit. Now this is a lovely area. Look” she pointed to the huge trees and she said “a nice morning walk…or you find a tree to make out against. That’s what Kay or John would say right now”

Trish nodded and got up. “Chas we can go get breakfast cleaned up and set aside for Josh and Serena?”

John didn’t look up, ready to hear the words coming. He wasn’t worthy. He was waiting for her to tell him she was leaving and never thought he should be a father.

Josh smiled and then laughed as Serena said what she reckoned Kay and John would say if they were out here. "I get the feeling they'd be more about actually making out under a tree than just mentioning it" he laughed as he took in the area where the mill house sat properly. It was a lovely hidden away area, that much he did have to admit to.

"good idea kiddo" Chas replied, grabbing the empty bits from Trish's breakfast and Kay's that had since gone cold and stale from everything, and brought it into the kitchen with Trish.

Kay saw how John was refusing to look up at her, no doubt thinking the worst was about to be said which made her feel guilty for how she just reacted a short while ago. She waited for Chas and Trish to exit the room then walked to where John was and sat beside him. "I'm not leaving..." she started with the big reassurance. She stared at her lap as if it would help her get her words out, "I just can't wrap my head around it all that's all. The kid thing? That's a shock yeah, but nowhere near as sho King as what Serena told us... I'm still learning to accept the fact I love someone that's not family. Let alone having to think about our future together and if kids would even be a thing for us.

I... I'm just terrified by the prospect of bringing a child into this world and putting them in danger constantly, even if this person was capable of saving you yesterday. The idea that we may in the future would have said or done something that meant they felt the need to have to set things right? It scares me John. It scares me to think about how wrong we must have gone or how bad it must be in her world that she had to come back to ours. But the idea of losing you even before we get that far in our relationship or I end up pregnant with your kid scares me even more. I'm terrified that I'll snap and I won't just lose you and the oppoeto have a family with you, but also that I'll lose myself and give Hell and all its demons a world on earth they're wanting to use me for." she sighed.

"I don't want to become this raging monster and be seen as nothing but that... Fee told me my kind can be known for turning dark if their negative emotions overpower them and I know if I lose you I will be that monster. I don't want to be alone John... I can't lose you or our chance to be a family" she said, beginning to choke on her words as she tried to not cry all over again, grabbing for his hands and wrapping them in her own hands. Feeling the roughness of his skin in the smoothness of her own. "I need you John" she said shakily again.

Serena a chuckled as they turned and said “it’s been a while since I’ve done anything like that…crazy how you forget the small things till you crave rthem again…”

Trish walked with him and she whispered “are they okay?”

John listened to her closely then finally looked at her. “Kay…I’m not going anywhere I swear…”

Josh smiled as his comment made Serena chuckle, he listened to her and nodded in agreement "mm, those mundane things always seem to mean so much to people" he commented, before grinning mischievously and eith her hand in his he jogged over to a tree pulling her with him. He felt like a kid again and he wanted to bring a bit of positive spark to Serena also, so when they reached a big fern tree he swung her round to face him, pushed some of her hair behind her ear and with his thumb and index finger, he pulled gently her face to his and kissed her.

Chas put the dirty plate and glass in the sink and he wished he could say for certain if Kay and John would be okay but he had faith that they would be. "they will be, if they let both their walls down and let each other in." he told her. "or so I hope" he muttered.

The whole time she spoke, Kay refused to look at him as she knew if she did, she wouldn't have been able to finish what she had to say. It was only when she felt him look at her, did she look up slightly and look at him back, she didn't know what else to say, her mind being a jumbled up mess of words struggling to form any kind of sentence. "I'm scared John..." was all she could get out.

Serena giggled as he pulled her to the tree, then kissed him back as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned back into the tree. She pulled him to her, almost melting into him.

Trish looked back and asked “what was John’s father like? His mother?”

John reached over and took her hand. “I know. All parents are. But it’s not like your having the baby now. This is probably years down the line. And at least we know she’s out there. A positive light thru all of this…”

Josh smiled into the kiss as she pulled him back with her so she could lean on the tree trunk. He leaned onto her slightly, placing his hands flat against the trunk as he kissed her more, deepening the kiss but remaining sweet with her. He was brought up to be a gentleman, not an animal.

Chas paused what he was doing and sighed when Trish asked about John's parents. "John's mum died giving birth to him. His twin also died in the womb and only he survived. His father took great hatred toward John for that and although he raised him, poorly I may add, he called John killer his whole life." Chas explained in a way that the most child friendly he could think of. He purposely left out how John killed his father by burning the house down however.

" it's not just the prospect of our kid though John...its everything else as well. I'm terrified I'm gonna become a monster" she told him, keeping hold of his hands. "more terrified than I can put into words. John please don't let me get that far gone... I'd rather be killed than turn into some kind of monster and hurt people" she told him, her eyes practically begging him to kill her if it came to it without her even saying the words.

Serena smiled in the kiss and pulled back a little bit. “My Josh…I didn’t know you had this side of you…”

Trish gasped and covered her mouth. “Oh John…that’s terrible…no wonder his worried. He must feel that he is the risk to the women in his life since the most important one of his child he was told he killed her…”

John blinked and said “Kay…from what I have learned. That might only happen if I’m killed. So…I promise not to die and then everything will be alright?”

Josh smiled and chuckled sheepishly, "I guess you bring it out of me" he told her, tucking some of her hair behind her ear as he looked at her in the eyes. "I guess sometimes being spontaneous can do us all good" he added, "and if I'm honest? I've always wanted to kiss you" he admitted to her.

Chas nodded, "He's very touchy about the story which is understandable but yes, that's why he's always been super careful before Kay came into his life with who he slept with. He never before wanted the ties to people, then Kay came into his life and things changed it seems. But he's never truly gotten passed that trauma of being called a killer all his childhood, even when he got closure. But I'm hoping that now Kay and Serena are in his life, maybe he'll get to move on finally" he said to her.

Kay sighed when John replied to her, avoiding her plea which somehow didn't fully surprise her. "But if it does...if anything makes me snap...I mean it John, I need you to kill me to stop me" she told him, gripping his hands tighter.

Serena looked at him and said “since when? I thought I was crazy when we first met…” she rested a hand on his chest.

Trish looked at Chas with a serious look and said “you need to tell Kay. She needs to know this about him”

John sighed and took her hands in his. “Babe…I won’t let you lose it. But if you do lose control and I’m still alive. I will stop you alright?” His hands were shaking as he said this, not really able to say kill her.

Josh smiled as he clearly took her by surprise with his words. "Since we left the hospital and then I saw how good you were with everyone, especially Trish" he told her truthfully, knowing that that day he was taken aback by her courage and bravery that it just made him feel drawn to her. That feeling had only grown and it seemed all this time Trish knew it judging by her little quips she had made.

Chas sighed, "it's for John to tell her if he ever feels it's needed to be told. But if he doesn't then I'll look into telling her myself" he told Trish. He felt bad enough that he had told a kid without John's permission, he didn't want to go behind his mate's back and tell the woman he loved behind his back as well.

At John's promise to stop her if she ever lost control, Kay nodded and exhaled a breath she didn't know she had been holding in for the last few seconds. "Thank you" she told him, letting go of his hands and hugging him tightly. She knew it had to be difficult for someone to agree to such a request but the other scenario was even less appealing in her mind.

Serena smiled softly and said “I saw it when you showed how much you love Trish…I love that trait…”

Trish pointed to the other room and said “Chas…trust me she needs to know. Tell John he needs to tell her”

John hugged her back and said “I swear I’ll protect you…”

Josh smiled and looked down slightly shyly. He wasn't normally this shy around a woman but there was just something about Serena that did it to him. He then looked back up at her, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "you're one hell of a woman Serena." he said to her, admiration in his eyes. "we should uhh...should get back to what we need to do" he then said.

"are you sure you're not 22 and not 12?" Chas smirked, "when I can talk to him about it I will okay?" he said in compromise to her. He didn't want to disturb John and Kay yet, just incase they weren't ready to be disturbed. He had no idea how long either of them would need to talk things out, he just hoped they could.

Those words he spoke to her made her grip onto him and bury her head into his shoulder. "I know you will" she said in a muffled manner back. "I need you John..."she said again, still muffled. It took her a good couple of minutes before she pulled away and looked at him, wiping her face with the back of her hand. "let me finish healing you so you're not in as much pain" she suggested.

Serena sighed then said “in a minute…the lay line isn’t going anywhere…” she pulled him back and started kissing him again, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Trish sighed then nodded “alright alright…and I’m 12…it’s just the dreams I had the last two nights are making this stuff clear”

John shook his head and said “no, you need your strength and I deserve to have to do this…my dumb move caused all of this…” he looked down, holding his chest.

Josh smiled and chuckled as Serena said what she did, he gladly leaned back in, closing his eyes as his lips touched hers. He slithered his arms round into the arch of her back, pulling her closer to him even though it was barely possible for such a feat. He held her there as he kissed her sweetly but deeply. He just wanted to revel in the fact he found someone he liked and was kissing. The feel of someone being this close to him felt so right and nice, made him feel like for once he found something and someone just for him.

Chas chuckled at first but then went back to being serious when Trish continued talking. "you wanna talk about the dreams you've been having?" he asked her, realising that barely anyone had been talking to Trish about how she has been doing.

Kay sighed and followed his gaze to his chest, she hated seeing him in so much pain and agony. She just wanted to help but it seemed that his stubbornness was going to be stopping her from doing so. "I just wanna help... I hate seeing you like this" she said to him back.

Serena kissed him back and finally safe and secure for the first time since she was attacked in the ER. She sighed in his arms and smiled in her kiss

Trish sighed and looked at her feet. “They have been scary and confusing…stuff happening the last few days have been helping but still…”

John sighed and said “I know babe…I just can’t keep hurting you…I’ve been messing up enough the last few days”

Josh could tell that she was comfortable and secure with him and that made him feel glad that he wasn't making her uncomfortable. He deepened the kiss a bit, but mentally told himself not to take things too far or get carried away as they were outside and he didn't want to possibly ruin what was blossoming between himself and Serena.

Chas frowned slightly seeing how the dreams were effecting Trish. He lifted her up and perched her on the counter, lifting her chin with his index finger. "hey, you can tell me all about them if you think it'll make them less scary. I'm a pretty decent listener" he told her.

Every part of Kay wanted to protest, say that helping him didn't hurt her, but she knew it'd be pointless. Sure, it wore her out but that didn't stop her wanting to be of us and help. So she backed down and nodded with a heavy sigh. "okay...okay" she simply said.

After a few minutes Serena pulled back and smiled at him. “Let’s find that layline then we can get back…maybe continue this later on?”

Trish looked at him and said “I keep seeing two people calling out for help. A woman and a young man…the girl loons like a mix of John and Kay. The young man looks like how Josh did when he was younger. They are running from something scary…then a huge bird comes out of no where and everything is gone…”

John held his head and closed his eyes, feeling sick suddenly. Then he said “I’m sorry…for all of this…I keep hurting the important women in my life…”

Josh slowly opened his eyes as Serena pulled away from the kiss first, making him pull back also. "right" he replied to her smiling, pecking her lips one more time then he let go of her, stepped back a bit so she could step away from the tree before he grabbed for her hand.

Chas listened to Trish speak, letting her say everything she wanted to before he even thought about replying to her. What she was describing sounded like something that really could terrify a young child, no wonder she was so scared at night. "sounds like their daughter and someone else...no wonder you were scared Trish." he replied to her. "with the bird, when you say everything is gone. Is it the bird that destroying everything?" he asked her.

Kay sighed and wished there was more she could do to help. "what do you mean...hurting the important women in your life?" she asked cautiously, not wanting to overstep her mark with her questions.

Serena took his hand and headed to the lay line, which they found after a few minutes. She knelt down to touch the line and said “this is where the message came from…let’s see if I can trace it…”

Trish shook her head and said “it was more just vanished. Like the black bird appearing made everything fade away.”

John sighed and closed his eyes. “My whole life…I was called a killer by my father…because my mother died giving birth to me and my twin who didn’t make it either…”