I feel it building up inside of me. It starts as a tickle in my chest that grows bigger and more insistent as it creeps its way up my throat. I put my fingers to my lips to cover it, but it's like fighting a storm with a teacup: useless on the one hand, while fighting it only makes it stronger on the other. Despite my best efforts and the cover of my hand, my face changes with the very obvious signs of its coming.

I try my best to conjure bad feelings. Reasons I should be offended, old memories of times where I opened the fridge to find my special dessert was missing, the frustration of not being taken seriously after everything I've been through. But it's useless. Run from it, or fight it in a loop forever, there's just no escaping a giggle fit once it starts snorting out of you.

"Pff... pfffffFFFFFahahahahahahaheheheheeeeeee! Oh my g-ahahaha! Oh my! Oh, heehee! Oh my goshies sis, you're such a dork!"

I can't breathe from laughing so hard. Never mind forgetting dignity, I can't remember balance. I shake so hard where I sit that before I know it I'm tipping over, over, ooooohhhhh there I go, rolling onto my back holding my stomach while a bunch of silly noises escape my lips. I roll around like I'm trying to put out a fire. Doesn't help. I wheeze, because you have to fight for breathe when it comes in and out in the form of laughter. Once or twice I make the mistake of thinking I've got it, but then I sit up and see her face, and I go rolling back down into sillyfits.

It goes on forever. I dunno why it hit me so hard. I guess it's 'cause it's the first joke she's used on me in years. First one she's had a chance to. Or, well, it's not a joke but it... y'know. Sister stuff. It's just been so long. I burst. I giggle until I can't feel my fingers. I giggle until she starts to worry about me. I giggle until I need her to hold me still, and then I giggle until I start hiccupping.

As far as duels go, this one's kind've a disaster, huh?

"Love you too, sillyhead." I reach up and touch her face. The one that looks just like mine, except a little bit older and a lot of bit cooler.

Y'know I, honestly? I always assumed that when Sis left and didn't come back, it meant she'd settled down. When things got me down with sun farmin' and tryin' to convince the village that my little beads were worth a trade, or on dark cold nights when there wasn't enough good wood for a proper fire or just... sometimes I'd feel lonely and sad for no great reason. I know, me! Happens sometimes, y'know? But on days like that, I'd imagine Sis in a wedding dress with just the biggest smile on her face. Who was she marryin'? What were they like? I imagined all kinds've people, tall and short and pretty and handsome and every sort've face you could think of, but the thing they all had in common was that they made her happier than she'd ever been. Happier than I could make her. And when I pictured that... it made me smile. Sometimes I'd make plans to go see her, show her how I'm doing. Find out who she lived with, all that jazz. Thought about it a lot on my adventure. She'd be so surprised!

I can't believe she went and had an adventure of her own, instead! All that action and excitement and demon politics and dark queen stuff! Wowies, I'm actually kinda jealous? I mean if I had to choose I'd definitely still pick mine, but hers sounds amazing too! I wish I could... no. No. I'd better not wish that. Hearin' about it's plenty good enough. It's her story, and mine's mine, and now that we're here they combine to form the story of how we two found each other again when we'd both basically stopped trying. It's perfect. It's so perfect it's like we'd planned the whole thing from the start.

But also, what was that? What was that about... all of the money? All of it?! H-how technically is technically, exactly? 'Cause, like... Sis do you realize what this means? We could, I mean you could, like I, um, oh gosh. That's almost enough for... gosh, ok, carry the one, uh. Yeah. Like, six tractors? Minimum? With enough left over for really good cocoa and cookie fixins like basically every night! Ohhhhh, I wish I didn't know about this. That's too much power for any one girl, or pair of related girls to have. I wish I--

Oh. Right. We're still dueling, aren't we? I know I laughed, but the Sword of Sisterly Love is not a technique that anyone can afford to take lightly, least of all me. Its blade cuts sharper than any sword I've ever faced. But, did you know? For all of its power, it's actually almost as dangerous to the user as the opponent. That secret sword has a hidden, reversed form. A shadow sword, if you will. And it goes a little something like this. I take her hands in mine. I look her straight in the eyes. And then I start talking.

"Sis," I begin

But then I pause because straight away it doesn't sound right. And it's gotta be perfect, or it won't work. I'm not even fighting to win here anymore, but that doesn't mean I'm pulling any of my punches. The most perfect outcome of our duel today would be a draw. That's what I'll call a win. I take a deep breath and let it out in a huff.

"...Xiu," I haven't said that name out loud, not to her, in over a decade, "Come home. Please."

I feel her tense up in my grip, but she doesn't pull away. She doesn't look away, either. That's my big sister for you. She's so brave, even when she's got every reason to be as nervous as a girl can be. The true shape of the Shadow Sword reveals itself: A Love Stronger Than Adventure.

"I don't mean you have to, I... like, you don't. Mm. You don't have to drop everything and start farming eggplants with me or anything like that! Unless that still sounds fun? But it, you, I don't care what you do, Sis! If you wander off again and I don't see you till one or both of us is dressed to get married that's fine! But come home! Come home and meet Hyra, at least, she's got a beautiful picnic with all of our best teas all set up and ready for company and everything!"

"Come look at the lake with me again, like we did! Like we used to! Come sort through all the memories in our little cottage together, so I can put stories to all the stuff I can't remember on my own. Come, just... just come! We're family, you and me! Sisters are forever and ever but we've missed so much time! so please. Please come home with me."

"I understand if you wanna keep Princessin', I really do, I uh... keep wishin' and wishin' and wishin' I could be that, too. But I just, I, yeah. I just want you to come and do it somewhere with a post office you can use. Or better yet, texts! Texts are things now, didja know? We could, oh gosh, I should show you my phone! I should, we, no wait I can't get distracted! I'm just, I'm tryin' to say, I don't need protecting from demon hordes anymore. Like, honestly, if you coming back means we get to duel unreformed underworld queens that sounds kinda... cool? And good? And, and even if I do need protecting I've met so many amazin' people who'll be there for me and you have to meet them come on let's go!"

I'm standing. And she's standing. And one more time, we're hugging. And there's crying, and I don't know who's got it worse 'cause it does turn out that we didn't quite work it all out the first time. I'm proud of her, she's proud of me. Our duel draws to a close. Without a judge here to yip opinions at me, I couldn't tell you which of us won. Or if anybody even needed to, after all (but secretly, I hope it was me).

"You're gonna love Hyra, I promise. She's so pretty. I mean, funny! Funny! Well, she's both! And she knows a bunch of amazin' magic tricks and so, so much about 'angles' and she, oh. Right. She dooooeeesss have a bit of an accent? But only with certain words. It's fine! Fine, I say! I just, I want you to be ready, in case she says one so you don't spit tea all over the -- I mean! Not that I! H-hey! Listen! Listen!! You don't know what it -- I said it's fine! A-a-and she's gonna be your sister soon, too! So! Stop! Laughing! Already!!"

Sisters, sheesh. Not even once. But then, also? Every single time.

"Jessic!" Chen manages to shout, leaping up with her empty teacup and sprinting out of the cabin to see what's happening. She considers pulling out her phone and texting in righteous outrage, or leaping over the bannister and flying right in Jessic's face perhaps. But then the lightning breath shoots out with a loud crack and the smell of ozone as a whole line of foxes finds themselves grounded and twitching. Chen's heart goes out to them as their poor fluffy tails fly all out of sorts with massive static, poofing up sharply without the regular lustrous sheen of a fully fluffed fox tail. Truly a dire fate.

Moreover, there's Prim, Quick Ji and Blackleaf already carrying darling Rosepetal partially bound on the deck. Gosh and they're working overtime to double up the ropes and make it believable that they've really got her contained. Oh and there's an army of foxes advancing on the both of them, half of them somehow dressed in old-fashioned gangster suits and ties that had been in one of Jessic's animes Chen had briefly watched. Everybody in that one had been really well-dressed but they also drank a lot of alchohol, like a lot, yet never seemed to be bothered by it, and they all had a weird accent and acted all tough. Which is probably why the fox conspiracy had gone for the aesthetic, come to think of it. But the point was, the trio already had Rose and a gang of fox mafia were advancing on Chen.

"We surrender!" she shouted, sheathing her sword and putting her hands down by her side. It was the only thing to do really. The one sure way to minimize electrocuted fox devastation, ensure that Jessic calmed down enough to talk, and get to dress up Rosepetal as a bonus.

Chen flung herself into Blackleaf's arms (she thought it was blackleaf at any rate. She hadn't actually gotten which one was which from Petal, but she figured that Blackleaf was the one with little black tufts on her ears and a black streak down one side of her fiery hair and at any rate she was cute enough to be flung into to preempt the advancing mob). She curled her tail around the fox's leg and gave her a smile that only looked a tiny bit predatory.

"We surrender!" she said again, louder. "Hurry, get us dressed as gifts for Princess Jessic as quickly as possible, before she breathes lightning again. You'll want a palanquin, or at least a platform so you can hold us up over you and she won't attack you first. Oh yes, and you'll need to dress us up. I have it on very good, extremely reliable authority that proper offerings to a dragon have to be dressed up properly. Now last time, my sweet petal was a dainty little shrine maiden and I was dressed up in the poofiest princess dress, but that really doesn't fit the theme you've all got going on. Hm, no what I think Petal needs is a...um...what was it called in the anime, a 'flapper' dress. Made of silk, of course. I see you're already working on gagging her, that's good." Chen leans down from Blackleaf's arms and gives her Petal a gentle pat.

"Don't bother unbinding her, she can hop into any dress you've got for her. Don't make it too long either, stop right at the waist with just some thin silver tassel to really highlight her legs." Now Chen is touching those wonderful, strong legs for demonstration purposes, pulling Blackleaf with her because she's still in a state of surrender of course. "and what color for the main dress, hmm? We could do all silver, but I think it needs a little something more. How about Rose gold for your namesake, my sweet handmaiden? Rose gold with silver tassel, Jessic won't be able to resist a treasure like that. And I know you foxes do wish granting, so be sure that Petal gets all the fanciest embroidery and lace on her body, and I know she'll want it thin and diaphanous hanging on her. Give her a shawl too, but one that doesn't really cover anything, just more thin silk that adds to the mystique. And a headband with a silk veil to cover her face above the gag."

Chen ponders, putting a finger to her chin and twitching her ears as foxes are already scrambling to fetch materials from below decks. "I'll take a suit. I think it's the right thing for this sort of offering, my vacation shirt is too casual. Black please, cut it thin at the waist and wide at the breasts and the butt. One button, no vest, but high collar shirt that's tight and shows off my curves. And don't make the pants legs too long, everybody always makes the pants legs too long for me! Also, get me a tie the same color as the twilight sky, you can manage that right? You'll need to bind me over all that of course, but it's important that I look formal for our dragon princess."

Chen settles herself into her surrender, tail still wrapped around Blackleaf's leg. "Alright, there we go girls, come on, come on, you've got a dragon waiting on you!"

Rosepetal learned so many lessons aboard the Sky Castle, and acting’s one of her favorites. Isn’t she perfect for the role? She squirms, she melts into arms and ropes, she groans and moans and makes indignant little squeaks, and she doesn’t come an inch closer to escaping, even as she makes it look like she’s trying desperately to break free. Her scandalized little squeaks as she’s changed into the perfect, most darling outfit, matching her Princess perfectly! Her demure head shakes and pleading looks as the foxes crowd around and tell her that she’s still simply just too loud, but how good of her to volunteer extra stuffing! Her refusal to keep trying to complain, even as the gag layers bulge out past her veil!

But what Chen likely appreciates most of all is how cuddly Rosepetal is on the palanquin. How she hooks Chen in with her big, strong legs and pulls her close, while still whining and struggling. How she rolls on top of her girlfriend and makes an attempt to plead for salvation, all while her heart races delightedly. How she acts like a perfect little damsel in distress who needs to be saved by her dapper, handsome, dashing, charming, curvy, amazing, incredible girlfriend, who will (eventually) be rewarded with much many kisses for saving her, no matter how long that might take.

As for what she’s thinking about, well, Chen will have to wait to find out about that, too…

***

Chen and Rose!

Two maidens are carried by three foxes before the dragon princess. A fitting tribute. "Your imperial highness," said Blackleaf, bowing deeply, "as you have demanded we have bought you what you wanted -"

"Mistress," Jessic corrected.

"Mistress?" said Blackleaf, shiverring.

"Good girl," said Princess Jessic, tail swaying as she adjusted her position.

"You've got it wrong, we've bought you -" Blackleaf started, but then the dragon pounced. There was a rush of air as she passed over the kneeling Chen and Rose, caught Prim and pinned her to the ground. Her tail lashed out and coiled around Quick Ji's neck like a whip. And her crackling eyes froze Black Leaf utterly in pace, sparks running down her spine.

"You," said Princess Jessic, "think you have escaped? You think you can bargain? No, little fox, all you have done is enter my territory." She flicked her tail, sending Quick Ji sprawling on the ground in front of her, and then placed a claw on top of her head, holding her against the ground alongside Prim. "I will take your tribute, little fox. And I will also take your friends. And I will also take you. Now... get on your hands and knees and bind these pathetic girls properly."

Blackleaf, swallowing, trembling, sank down to the ground like she was melting. She crawled across beneath the dragon and there, with the easy treason of her kind, worked to first gag and then bind her struggling erstwhile friends. Soon Jessic held two struggling and squeaking foxes to go alongside her struggling and squeaking Princess and Handmaiden.

"Good girl," said Jessic, tracing a talon under Blackleaf's trembling jaw. "Tell me, how did that feel?"
"Good... mistress," stammered Blackleaf.
"The tying, or the obeying?"
"Both."
"Good. Because this is just the beginning. I will capture every escaped fox and then you will help me train them. In time I will build a grand army of disciplined kitsune, loyal to my every whim, and together we shall conquer the Nine Kingdoms. Serve me well and you will be chief amongst them."
Blackleaf bowed. Princess Jessic gave a low, malevolent chuckle. A new era of darkness approached, one where the shadow of the Sky Castle heralded the coming of a storm of collared chaos.

But that was all an adventure for another day. For now, there was an electronic chime, and Jessic projected a holographic screen in front of her left eye. "Oh!" she said. "I almost forgot Princess Hyra's tea date! Blackleaf, conjure a car and put these four sillyheads in the boot - we need to make a detour before we reach the Sky Castle."

Yue!

Since this story started you've always been in last place. The bottom part of the post, the part after everyone else got to say their bit.

But for a while you got to be in first.

In a lot of ways it feels the same. Your sister's hugs are still as sweet as they were before. Hyra's are too, once you emerge from the Underworld and convince her to put down the moon laser when she aims it at Xiu. The air's the same temperature, the Lake's the same colours, your words still trip over each other much the same as they've ever had.

But it's different knowing that's a choice now. It's not that you couldn't touch the top. It's not that you just didn't have enough potential. You did, and you do. You know for a fact that on that day you choose to pull your sword out of the umbrella rack it will be the sequel to the story of the legendary hero Yue and not an attempt to fix what was wrong with the first story.

And there'll be plenty of opportunities for sequels, you know. Princess Jessic arrives, followed shortly thereafter by a car driven by an unknown foxgirl that unloads a knotted tangle of Chen, Rose and two more kitsune. There's a lot of talk and veiled threats between her and Hyra involving a plan to kidnap and tame foxgirls for use as terror troops/harem slaves which will unsettle the tenuous balance of the Nine Kingdoms - and even if you feel like sitting that one out, you can see as well as anyone the inevitable fox uprising for the cause of cutie anarchy, heralding a whole new time of adventure. And when that time comes... maybe that's when Hyra will take a break in cutie jail, and it will be the Demon Swordswoman Yue who needs to come out of retirement to rescue her. Or instead you could change tracks entirely and get involved in Xiu's grand adventure into the heart of the Underworld to face down the red-eyed Demon Shogun who your sister swears she did not have a crush on...

And it can keep going and going. The positions might change; some friends might slip into the background, and some new ones might burst into the spotlight. The world can contain more beautiful and compelling stories than you have time for. But now that your first adventure is finally over all any of your friends can talk about is what are we going to do next?

And in whatever they decide you know that, if you want, you can be the star.

One day you might even have a plan so wicked that you might even be the villain.

It's a beautiful sunset upon the Terraced Lake. It takes a great many colours to make the sky so radiant.

There's something about the way Chen is bundled out of the car. She squeaks, but she's wearing an immaculate black suit cut curvy and busty to accent her breasts and her butt and she knows it. She stands in her little self with confidence and poise, not letting the ropes throw her balance despite having been bundled tightly into the car trunk with Rose.

She gives the foxes a look and they scurry, being careful as they're handling her not to stain or wrinkle her suit as they extract her. One fox offers a delicate hand to help Chen balance, another works her legs so that despite being extracted from the back of a kidnapping car, Chen looks for all the world like she's being assisted out of a carriage by her servants.

She's red and blushing too, but there's something about it that makes it seem like her fluster doesn't reach her core. Instead, she attempts a dainty step around her bonds, then nods at one of the foxes (Blackleaf by the markings, Chen seemed to like that one) and begins leaning on her as a walking aid while the other two start their extraction of Rose. Perhaps it's the serene smile on Chen's face despite her blush that makes her seem so confident as she carefully steps forward to survey the picnic and turns to gaze over her Rosepetal's extraction as well.

Her gaze for Petal is longing, and anyone looking can see that there will be more time alone for them after the picnic is done. Chen quite enjoyed by squeezed into a car trunk with her much larger girlfriend, pressed in tight against her as the ride bumped and bounced them to be even more entwined. There was going to be more time being all wrapped up with Petal to come. She would start slow there, she thought, first have Petal stroke her ears with a soft hand and tell her she's a good girl. But that was fun for later.

Bigger things were fun for even later than that. A smile crosses Chen's face at the thought of a new adventure fighting an army of foxes. In fact, for a moment she simply can't stop grinning about Jessic's mad plan (because think about it, that means Keron is going to have to add handling hundreds of foxes to her sky castle duties and the image of that timebomb eventually going off is just too good not to be worth dwelling on).

And past that, there's the matter of Chen establishing her own little kingdom with her shard's warm glow letting people shift and change themselves to their fancy and all learning to live together that way. Qiu had certainly done something quite special by shaking things up as much as she had, all the princesses were going to be shifting who was doing what (and thank the suns Yin was formally retiring, she was not up to the pressure). Chen would have a front row seat at the table for that, tail swishing all the while.

But right now, there's a moment to live in here. There's a whole picnic laid out with Yue, Hyra, and Kat (who is certainly helping with the setup and has not stolen herself a slice of baloney, stop looking at her mouth that could have been anything, foxes lick their lips for no reason all the time!). There's someone new too, someone who looks like she might be an older, slightly thicker version of Yue, and at that Chen lets out a little squeal of delight! She taps Blackleaf, who nods once and undoes Chen's ropes so she can run over and give Yue a hug, dragging along Petal (whose ropes are distinctly not undone, forcing her into a rapid hop to keep up). "Is...is this? Is this her?!" she cries, wrapping up the taller girl suddenly and tightly.

Only then does she see the huge burrower mask leaning against the wall and do a double take, her ears going up and her tail shooting out. But she doesn't let Yue out of the hug, and her eyes are questioning but sincere. Because right now she's got her Rosepetal, and her friends, and this is going to be the perfect picnic. It might even be a place to make new friends!

There’s a game that Chen likes to play when she has the opportunity, one which she knows (from experience) drives her little Rosepetal absolutely wild: “Why don’t you introduce yourself, Petal?” She’s in the spotlight, she’s meeting someone for the first time, and all she can do is mumble and moan through her fox-packed mouth, leaving her impish girlfriend to “interpret” for her. Why, yes, they are very pretty, I agree, Petal! Yes, you are a very silly handmaiden, but you’re also very gentle and kind and sweet, don’t sell yourself short! Petal, I can’t believe you’d invite them to do that— but if you say so~!

Today, she ends up bowing, showing off how good she is at balancing despite being so top-heavy, and then gracefully sits down on the picnic blanket so that she can end up as a seat for both a certain rambunctious vixen who’s so happy to see her old friend and a princess who looks so, so pretty in her suit, who can’t see the lingering, adoring looks her Petal gives her, but who can feel Petal’s strong heart when she takes a seat in that perfect lap. She’s safe, admired, flustered, and playfully demeaned; what more could she ask for?

Well, she does have more to ask for. She hasn’t worked up the courage to propose, but she’s been dropping hints. One day she’s going to just end up losing her patience and she’ll pick up Chen and carry her over to a booth in the market of the Sky Castle, one run by a grandmother who sells rings made from the treasures of the Burrows, and if Chen doesn’t get that her Rosepetal really, really wants to be hers for the rest of their lives, she’ll sit on the clueless little thing!

She’s decided that, too. For the rest of their lives. The thing that was created in the Burrows as a hunter of dissidents was functionally immortal, but being Rosepetal is something too tied up with Chen, the first Princess who showed her that she could live her dreams in this beautiful twilight world. One day, one very far-off day, she’ll stop being Rosepetal when she stops having her Chen. She’ll take a new shape, a new face, and she’ll always treasure the time she got to be darling, silly, beautiful, beloved Petal.

But that’s a very long way off. So far that there’s no use spending time thinking about it when she could think about becoming a Princess. There’s so much she plans to do, when Chen founds her kingdom; as an expert on change and transformation, she’ll have her hands full helping her subjects close the gap between who they are and who they want to be. (And she might keep the title even when she’s had children, just because of how much of a target it makes her.) Rosepetal the Gentle doesn’t yet know she’s going to be called that; that she’s going to be a legendary beauty, beloved by the populace, and a prize for any up-and-coming player in the game of Princesses; she doesn’t even know (but suspects) she’s going to transition gracefully into being a Hot Mom. One day, she’ll end up being saved by (or kidnapped alongside) her own daughters.

That’s a dream she didn’t have before. The first time she ever had it, she was in Sourcefall, curled up beneath a heavy comforter and a spoiled snow leopard, the big spoon to her petite girlfriend, awake in the middle of the night, luxuriating in the warmth of Chen, the rise and fall of her breath, the pulse of blood through her body, and that’s when Rosepetal knew she wanted to have children. That Chen was safe, could be trusted, wouldn’t leave her. That Rosepetal deserved to be a mother, to bring someone into the world who wouldn’t be tainted by the stain of the Burrows in Petal’s blood, an old fear she could finally put down. That she wanted to hold her child in her arms and look after them, to see them grow, to bring something even better into the world.

Chen leans in close, lips brushing against Rosepetal’s ear. “Would you like some tea, dear?” Petal considers for a moment, then shakes her head. She’s quite happy as she is, and isn’t ready to join the conversation instead of being a topic of conversation. Chen nods, then— with the wickedest little kitten grin— reaches one hand around Petal’s shoulders and covers her scarf-swaddled mouth with one hand, holding it firm, just so she can feel Petal jump and squirm and hear the scandalous little moan of delight and see her drum her heels on the picnic blanket. There’s a vixen kneading biscuits on her thighs, there’s a wicked little Princess holding her close and keeping her sooooo quiet, there’s a wolf giggling at her and a curly-haired friend snuggling up to rest her head on one shoulder and a new friend sharing tales of bringing Princessdom to the old deep places of the world, making them shine with the light of the suns and the love all around, and Rosepetal is safe and loved, and if danger looms it isn’t her responsibility to save everyone else and then leave them behind, and everything in the whole wide world is harmonious and full of love.

And Princess Rosepetal is so, so full of love, and so, so loved, more than she thought she could ever deserve.

So, this is kinda funny, isn't it? I feel like the whole time I was on this adventure, somewhere in the back of my head I was worried it was gonna end. Sometimes the front of my head, too. I thought and I thought and I thought, and what I thought was that if I ended up back at my little cottage, that meant I failed. I must've messed up, right?

Well, here I am. In my little house, that I love so much and feel so trapped by. My sword's already in the umbrella rack and everything. Well, the ones that would fit, anyway. I had to get more creative with the-- sorry, that part's not important. I'm here. I'm here, y'know? My little journey's all done, and in the end I wound up home again. And all my friends are with me, drinking all my tea.

And I don't feel like a failure at all. Honestly, I can't think of anything more perfect. It's like it always had to be this way, y'know?

There's another funny thing, too. Just look at all my friends! My new family, really. These precious little sillyheads. They've all changed so much, and I've changed so little. Hyra's a princess now! With her own sunshard and a whole wardrobe change and honestly I swear she just glows all the time now. And Princess Chen who first of all turned herself first of all into a talented and super cool smartysmart who's so comfortable in her own skin she manages to make even cutie-bondage and getting kidnapped by foxes seem like something that happens on purpose actually. Not to mention she's graduated all the way to suits and she's a snow leopard now! And Rosepetal, who's so much softer than she thought she could be when I met her and who just looks so gosh darned happy about it, just amazes me every time I see her. She changes all the time, honestly, and I've gotta get her alone at some point so I can ask for pointers on makeup and costuming and especially how to have just soooooo much fun bein' tied up and squeezed like that. 'Cause honestly until all these foxes manage to traitor themselves back onto Cutie Fox Island I have a feeling there's gonna be a lot of this in everybody's futures.

And Sis is also a princess, which is a surprise, on top of bein' a super robot puppet master legend wowies. What am I, by comparison? I'm Yue. Just Yue, after all and everything. I guess I changed my clothes twice, that's somethin'. But then, I hear you sayin' it before I can finish. Don't worry, I know. I changed more than anyone in my way, didn't I? I look more the same than anyone I know, but from where I started to where I'm at now's a journey that takes a whole year to tell, plus a little extra.

I guess I... don't really need to explain all this, do I? I'm just happy. And I'm, oh. Shoot, there I go again. Ack, I'm sorry. I promised I wouldn't cry again! I, oh no, oh no, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry! Oh goshies, it, ah! I can't, can't, can't make it stop.

I-i-it's different this time, I, snffff, I promise. I just. I just. Um. I don't. This is... way harder than I thought it'd be.

I, ok, ok, ok. Ok. Yeah, I... ok. I can do this. I could tell you about what I think's gonna happen to me, or what I hope's gonna happen. I could promise you new adventures, and spend more time thanking all my dear, precious friends. I could surprise-sneak oooonnnneeeee last duel in with Hyra so I could beat the pants off her (and then again more literally when everyone else's gone back home~) and surprise her in this moment of perfect happiness with the traditional marriage necklace of the Terraced Lake.

But you already know, don't you? You knew I'd get here the entire time. Uhuh, that's right, you! Did you think I didn't notice? You've been watching this entire time, putting up with all my silly ramblings and my little Kat's ridiculous attempts at narration. Watching, cheering, reading, guiding, I dunno what to call it. But you've been there from beginning to end. And now I'm crying 'cause it's time to say goodbye.

So, good... no, no, no! Not goodbye, not goodbye at all! How about... see ya later? Yeah. I like that so much more. So, yeah. See you around, cuties! Next time I'll be the true demon swordswoman, I promise! I'm gonna show 'em all how much better that is to be than a simple princess. Fuhuhahahahaheeeee~! Oh, I'm excited. You're excited too, right? Maybe we'll even figure out how to make it back into space! Wouldn't that be amazing?

The great thing about stories ending is that it means you get to tell new ones. Try new things, live new truths. And I know, and I know you're gonna have so much fun through all of it! So I've gotta let you go, so we can get to it! Take care, ok? So long! Buh-bai! I love you lots! I--

"...Yue? Who are you waving to?"

"Oh. Well, nobody I guess. The world, maybe?"

"You're such a dork. You know that, right?"

"Uhuh! But you love me anyway."

Dearest listener, wise scholar of these many words. You have learned much of how the world works. You have learned much about wisdom and inner peace. You have witnessed the joy of acceptance, of harmony, of friendship, of enlightenment. You may at this time consider yourself to have made progress upon the path towards becoming a sage.

Idiot! I made all of that up!

I've been right here all along - right where everyone could see me but where nobody thought to look. Nobody thinks to count the tails of a mountain! And that is the difference between me and any of these silly little flufferhead foxes. That isn't to say that I have never been a silly little flufferhead, only to say that I have taken the flufferhead arts to heights undreamed of by gods or buddhas. You think that you can reach heaven through romantic violence? Maybe. If you're boring. But you can also reach heaven through crime.

Crime is different when you've been around as long as I have. A novice might still find pickpocketing and wire fraud compelling, but I have more refined tastes. My current plan is a masterpiece beyond the ken of any foxgirl below my nine-tailed rank: I have become a mountain, and every year I stand up and creep a few meters closer to the nearby town. And then one day at the height of the autumn festival I will transform back into a fox, pounce on top of the village, and steal all their fried tofu. I have been working on this plan for fifty years now. It's brilliant. I'm brilliant.

Or I was. But now this girl Yue is looking right at me with her heart full of love and she is waving. And I can tell that this girl is practically a buddha or a saint or an anime or something and oh my god do you know how dangerous that is? She could ruin everything! She has to be stopped, probably!

And so I stand up, tails wagging ominously. Snow falls from my triangular ear-peaks and trees tumble loose from my mighty flanks. And then I creep. I creep and stalk and sneak, tails wagging, rocky ears twitching, delicately stepping over houses and rivers as I sneak around the rim of the Terraced Lake. Despite being mountain size my paws are still soft and fluffy where they scamper across the ground and I move so silently and smoothly even the birds sleeping in the trees on my peaks don't wake. A couple of times my foxy senses tell me that someone in that distant cottage is looking out the window and I need to duck down and press my tummy against the earth and lie my ears flat. I wait patiently for them to go back inside, no doubt to engage in kisses or kiss related silliness. And then I am sneaking once more!

(Naturally there are plenty of people in the immediate vicinity who are quite terrified to see a sneaking mountain. To them I say: Nyah ha ha ha ha! Run! Run little humans!)

Eventually I have snuck, crept, pranced, and sashayed my fluffy tails all the way over to loom over the cottage of Yue. My archenemy! Look at her inside, so smiley, so happy, so vaguely confused as to where the mountain on the other side of the lake has gone. Little does she know it is right behind her! This will truly be my greatest - wait, what on earth is that?

I turn my head around and fix my gaze on a little foxgirl with white fur, black ear and tail tufts, and big bright teal eyes. She has a sword the size of her body and has pressed it up against the base of my ninth tail. Seeing my look she hides the blade behind her back and giggles nervously.

"Little two tail!" say I in my most mysterious voice! "Whatsoever do you think you are doing?"
"It's not fair!" she said, immediately bursting into tears. This one has a bright future ahead of her. "I tried so hard to earn my third tail! I came so close! I bought and sold princesses, almost made away with the treasury of the Sky Castle, it's not my fault that there were dragons."
"Those seem like awfully ambitious plays for a little two-tail," I say with my voice full of Judgement.
She nods tearfully. "I can't help it. All I want is to be the greatest kitsune who ever lived! I can't accept second best from myself, is that so wrong?"
"You must be if your path to your third tail goes through my ninth," I say, Disapprovingly. She hangs her head in shame.
"It was only because your tail was the fluffiest and most magnificent I'd ever seen," she said. "When you think about it, it practically hypnotized me into stealing it. How can a little two-tail resist such brilliance as yours?"
I nod at this obviously correct assessment of the situation. She is really a magnificent fox. "My name is Damn Fox," I announce grandly. It is an old name, given to me by a human who was probably a king or something.
"I am Cyanis," said she.
"I understand that your ambitions are bigger than your lips," I say. "You are not the first foxgirl to try to swallow more than she can chew. But I recognize your potential and will offer you this: Your third tail in exchange for the most precious possession of the anime known as Yue."

It's a test just as much as it is an opportunity for me to roll around on my back and kick my pawsies in the air for a little bit. When I stand up I've carved a huge swathe of destruction into the forest behind Yue's house. Another wicked surprise for my nemesis! But sooner than I expected I smell Cyanis sneaking back and again I restore myself to my dignified mountainous poise.

"What have you bought me?" I demand eagerly. "Have you stolen her infinite wealth? Her wolfish wife? Her tricky sister? Show me!"
"Damn Fox," said Cyanis. "I have bought you a fox."

And she holds within her hands a Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits. I know her immediately. I couldn't call myself a fox if I didn't recognize a Fluffybiscuits.

"A wise choice," I said. "There is nothing in this world more precious than a fox."
"Unfair!" said little Fluffybiscuits. "I was napping! And then she got me by the back of my neck and patted me so softly that I didn't even notice when she was wrapping me up in blankets! O Kitsune of the Mountain, jail for Cyanis! Jail for One Thousand Years!"
"Is this true?" I ask. "Did you sneak up on her while she was napping?"
"She snored and rolled over because the sunbeam had moved," said Cyanis. "That's not a nap, that's a doze."
"I demand Fox Justice!" said Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits.

And then for the first time I open my eyes. Both of the smaller foxes go silent.

"Fox Justice?" said I. "Oh, little Fluffybiscuits. You are young and naive, even younger than Cyanis. To you Fox Justice is something you only ever apply to humans. You steal a sandwich from a human and you call that justice. A human wakes you from your nap and you mewl and bite and call that justice. But Fox Justice? True Fox Justice, for crimes between foxes? Let me show you what that truly means."

And then I bang my front pawsies on the ground!

There is a flash of light and the smell of fried tofu and the glittering magic of Transformation, which turns dreams into girls.

And then when it is done there are two foxgirls before me. One with two tails, and one with three.

"Cyanis," I say smugly, "for the theft of the anime Yue's most precious possession on my behalf, I have awarded you with your third tail. But as punishment for sneaking up on a fox who was napping I have also gifted a tail to Katherine Isabella Fluffybiscuits. She is free to pursue her fox vendetta against you until the stars go out."

"I'm a girl!" squeaked Fluffybiscuits, wrapping her tails around her body for modesty. "You made me a girl!"
"I granted your secret wish, little Fluffybiscuits," I say. "It is you who will be my spy inside the house of my hated rival. It is you who will lead me to her larder and help me dig holes in her front yard! You have to do what I say, I have more tails, that's Fox Law probably," it wasn't, but one of the advantages of foxes is that they're all sillyheads who are bad at math and intimidated by large numbers.
Katherine's eyes nervously watch my tails, contemplating their sheer fluffiness. Then she stands up bravely. "I won't betray Yue! I am a fox of honour, and she -"
"I'll let you rummage through the pantry," I say.
Her resistance crumbles immediately. But her attempt was honestly very admirable! That put her in the top two percent of foxes! "And climb on the counter?" she adds.
"Sure!" I say, grinning and wagging my tails.
"Then what shall we do first?" she said, eagerness creeping into her voice. And that was always the thing about fox wishes, wasn't it? When you grant them they protest and blush and proclaim their innocence and purity and how terrible the foxes were for forcing this terrible fate upon them... and then five minutes later it's all swaying hips and 'I may as well's.

"First?" I ask. "First, tell me the story of how this sun farmer grew strong enough to challenge me!"