▼ PERSONAL DETAILS
► Age - Twenty-five
► Gender - Male
► Sexuality - "Heterosexual", (still) Closeted
► Nickname - Con
► Occupation - Coach / PE Teacher
► Qualifications - Bachelor's in Physical Education
► Residence - Delton, Maine
▼ PHYSICALITY
► Scars - White dot on his left foot; nailgun accident
► Tattoos - N/A
► Piercings - N/A
► Style - Nike. Puma. Adidas. Reebok. Sports shorts and sweatpants, sneakers and sandals, caps and headbands, sunshades and reading glasses, funny shirts from the mall and plain shirts from Walmart, Ritman shirts and Ritman tanktops, the high schooler who hardly grew up, the generic townie athlete who settled and never left.
▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔ |  LIFE AT RITMAN Per his parents' request, Connor Sangster dedicated himself to Ritman High having spent all his time on fitness, baseball, wrestling, football, and track and field. In return for his active involvement, Connor got an allowance. His bedroom was decked with everything Ritman. Banners, posters, hoodies. He was one of those enthusiastic screamers in the crowd or while on the field. Then he would look at his parents. He would see they were either distracted with their phones or staring straight at him, clapping and shouting "Good job Connor!" His father Christopher was once military now a best-selling novelist and was frequently away on tours. His mother Sonya was a lawyer and was frequently away to meetings. Making eye contact with them were better than home runs and touchdowns if in his parents' eyes he found love and making eye contact with them however was worse than losing a game booed by everyone at Ritman if in his parents' eyes he found disappointment. He was mischievous and irritable during school years, subtly bullying classmates and teachers with sarcasm that landed him in trouble, making him realize he wasn't the class clown he had thought he was. Despite that, Connor was always polite to other people. He was in a much better mood when school was soon over and by that time summer, his favorite season, was rapidly approaching. Sure enough people at Ritman liked him best when it was summer, and they often told him so. He treated Ritman like a home, their gym and fields as if his yard or playground. He stayed on campus long past sundown, broken in sweat, pushing himself to his limits to do more than before. He put himself out there to support his teammates. He stayed over their houses some weekends. Other parents joked, asking if he had a home and parents he should be getting back to. He laughed before he returned to an empty, silent house. He would be on computers and video games all night. Energy drink cans occupied his desk.
Constantly fell asleep in algebra and english and woke up being told to leave the room. Although he was fascinated and engaged in history class, with all the horrors that humans committed and documented. How the world did or didn't change. Repeatedly frustrated with feeling stupid and unskilled in chemistry and art. He tried to write a book like his dad, and to handle law like his mom. Neither panned out. He found that he was far too sensitive to pressure and conflict, that he would rather his life be simpler and flow easily. He never missed Sunday church with his parents who focused all of their attention on the sermons. Connor aspired to become prom king, and for laughs, he took part in school plays. In the yearbook he was quoted that he would "get a boat and live off the lake", but this never happened. He took nightly car rides with friends, cruising streets and highways with windows down and dreampop music blaring. And he sniffed in deeply the worldly wind and thought it a life-changing experience. Until one summer, he got into a terrifying car accident. No one died but the night cruises stopped after that.
After his growth spurt and walking tall, Connor was never left alone. A girlfriend snagged his arm soon before a fight and waterworks before the loud breakup (this inspired his parents around a corner to play a betting game, eavesdropping, bickering, and shushing) and the next day there was already a new girl on his arm. A scarf, his parents would cackle. He was never really heartbroken by a girl but come senior year, Connor secretly crushed on his winning-combo teammate and wild partier best friend, a boy who after graduation he may never see again. In small signs, his parents Christopher and Sonya learned of this secret, decided that this new affection was unhealthy, and told Connor he cannot be gay. Outraged, Connor yelled insisting he was not gay. Connor was then allowed to follow his best friend to a local community college and (miserably) came back to Delton with a degree and a wife Karen. His parents couldn't have been more happier ... for him.
PSYCHE ESFJ; Gemini; only child; millennial born May 25, 1997. Tries to be a little of this, a little of that, to be adaptable, versatile, and potentially well-liked. Look in a dictionary and locate Connor Shaw Sangster and you'd find its definition: a hypocrite, a walking contradiction, a paradox, a chimera, an amalgamation. Curious, investigative, and yet wants to be free to change his mind. Doesn't like to be wrong or pinned to a label (which confuses people because he brands himself all the time). He has a penchant for adjectives and adverbs. He enjoys sports analogies and tasting beer hops. Quick to make friends with strangers but also quick to disappear and to flake. People-pleasing, caregiving, great listener. Being the son of a man who fought in a war, Connor wants to help and serve while at home. Vulnerable to criticism. Sometimes worried about social status and reputation. Uncertainty, isolation, or being publicly outed and shamed are triggers to anxiety. He is plagued with conditional love, fake love, and the facades of relationship and marriage. He is the perfect husband even though it leaves him exhausted and feeling stuck in someone else's story.
Talking is a way to feel fulfilled. Communicating has become a ritual, a sacred exchange of information that influences the futures of himself and those around him. He goes to therapy but he can't help it, he lies. He hides his secrets and confuses and gaslights his therapist. He says one thing but may mean another. Ask Connor his favorite spot in town, and you'll get a different answer each time. Creative, savvy, and sassy with words and storytelling. He unconsciously tries to leave a feel-good impression, that his presence equates to a good time. Connor must be on the move and multi-task or else he will feel stagnant and irresponsible. As a coach and PE teacher, he ensures that each kid understands the importance of their health, diet, exercise, and staying relaxed and limber. When not at work Connor is surprisingly hard to get ahold of, and his phone calls and texts are brief. Always up for going out with friends for drinks or dinner but sometimes is a no-show. His wife Karen is concerned at times because she is usually the only one who sees Connor's bipolar tendencies and she tries to compensate for it by getting him to talk to her. He talks to her about boating at the lake and how the old school is being demolished. Karen suspects he's hiding something because these two topics can't surely be weighing that heavily on his mind. ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔ |
