5 Guests viewing this page
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Got up a first post as both Jimmy and Peter. Hopefully they are fine.


I have two minor issues, but not enough to require an edit or anything. The first is that you had the ship enter the atmosphere in Wolverine's intro, though normally these Sentinels keep their ships in orbit and teleport down to the surface. However, I'm willing to overlook that and not require an edit since it is a small, trivial thing. My second issue is the Sentinels boarding the Excalibur, meaning a Traveler Scar is on a space station that has apparently only existed for a few months. If America had suddenly opened a star portal onto the Excalibur, chances are such an event would have triggered a massive security alert by the station's personnel and put everyone on edge. You mentioned there had been no incursions since the station was built, so it seems unlikely that any star portals opened on the facility once it was operational. However, I am willing to overlook this, and we can just assume that some part of the station was constructed using repurposed materials, perhaps a large piece of scrap metal that at one time was sitting in a junk yard somewhere and had a Traveler Scar embedded into it while America was passing through.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Martian
Raw
Avatar of Martian

Martian Possibly a mage

Member Seen 1 yr ago

<Snipped quote by Martian>

I have two minor issues, but not enough to require an edit or anything. The first is that you had the ship enter the atmosphere in Wolverine's intro, though normally these Sentinels keep their ships in orbit and teleport down to the surface. However, I'm willing to overlook that and not require an edit since it is a small, trivial thing. My second issue is the Sentinels boarding the Excalibur, meaning a Traveler Scar is on a space station that has apparently only existed for a few months. If America had suddenly opened a star portal onto the Excalibur, chances are such an event would have triggered a massive security alert by the station's personnel and put everyone on edge. You mentioned there had been no incursions since the station was built, so it seems unlikely that any star portals opened on the facility once it was operational. However, I am willing to overlook this, and we can just assume that some part of the station was constructed using repurposed materials, perhaps a large piece of scrap metal that at one time was sitting in a junk yard somewhere and had a Traveler Scar embedded into it while America was passing through.


Sorry about the mix up. As for the Wolverine scene, I completely wasn't remembering properly when I said the ship appeared in atmosphere. If you wish I can edit it, but that will be up to you. As for the Darkhawk scene, I did have a sentence stating that the only thing interesting that had happened on Excalibur was an unknown powered individual teleporting onto the station before teleporting away. While I didn't specifically say that this was America, that is what I intended to happen. So let me know if you want me to do any edits.
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

<Snipped quote by CaptainManbeard>

Sorry about the mix up. As for the Wolverine scene, I completely wasn't remembering properly when I said the ship appeared in atmosphere. If you wish I can edit it, but that will be up to you. As for the Darkhawk scene, I did have a sentence stating that the only thing interesting that had happened on Excalibur was an unknown powered individual teleporting onto the station before teleporting away. While I didn't specifically say that this was America, that is what I intended to happen. So let me know if you want me to do any edits.


Ah, okay, since you mentioned teleporting instead of a portal, I didn't think you meant America. I just figured maybe it was Nightcrawler reference or something, lol. That makes more sense now XD. No, no edits are necessary. Great posts everyone! Although there were some aspects of a couple of the posts that I took issue with, overall, it seems we have a strong writing team! Everyone seems rather adept at creating a scene that is fun to read. Great job, everyone!
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by udonoodles
Raw
Avatar of udonoodles

udonoodles One thousand lonely stars

Member Seen 1 mo ago

posted for iron lad and jasper—i think that's all the characters accounted for!
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Mistress Dizzy
Raw
Avatar of Mistress Dizzy

Mistress Dizzy Fandom Auntie Dizzy

Member Seen 18 min ago

*low snort at Jasper*
1x Like Like
Hidden 2 yrs ago 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@Dead Cruiser

Much better! Great job!

posted for iron lad and jasper—i think that's all the characters accounted for!


Baha I snickered at Jasper XD. And yep! All 12 characters are now introduced. Assuming no one has any last minute surprise characters they want to add, I'll write the next post after work tomorrow. At the beginning of the post, the story will show a nexus point where the Sentinel ships are depositing their thousands of cryopods into a space station sorting facility. Those not marked as Traveler Candidates are loaded into vessels bound for Battleworld, while the Candidates' pods are lined up in groups of 12 and loaded into smaller ships for transport to the Inquisitor's Citadel. The Arishem-Exar is among a larger fleet of these vessels, and then the Inquisitor teleports from ship to ship to Soulgaze each group of 12. Once they are dismissed as Candidates, a group is then sent to Battleworld as well.

EDIT for clarity: Our particular group doesn't make it to the Soulgaze due to Doctor Strange rescuing them.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Sanity43217
Raw
Avatar of Sanity43217

Sanity43217

Member Seen 0-24 hrs ago

Oh yeah. Looking forward to some interesting character interactions. Martin and Harley look like they’ll get along, maybe Martin will even give some of his Nanite blood to Harley to help his research. Plus Victorious and Wiccan being the old Science vs Magic is bound for fun.
2x Like Like
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Gah finding the right images to embed in posts can be so time consuming, lol. I may just move forward with less images than I was originally planning. Anyway, next post should be along within the next few hours.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
Raw
Avatar of Dead Cruiser

Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

Member Seen 11 days ago

@CaptainManbeard I don't think any of us would complain if you just posted the update and added images after the fact.
1x Like Like
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

@CaptainManbeard I don't think any of us would complain if you just posted the update and added images after the fact.


I don't actually have the entire post written yet, lol. Some parts of it I wait until I decide upon the images and then use those to help fuel my descriptions XD. Though a few parts I am going to forego images and just write them out how I see them in my head.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Sorry everyone, stuff came up, got distracted. Post is up now. It was already getting pretty long so I decided to wait to have Doctor Strange arrive until the next post. This way we can each introduce ourselves to the group within the story and you can each describe how your character/s deal with awakening from cryo and meeting everyone else. Also feel free to do a few quick back and forth posts between each other if you'd like, similar to how my characters were talking amongst themselves.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Just did a quick little post for a little flirt with Billy XD.
1x Laugh Laugh
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Mistress Dizzy
Raw
Avatar of Mistress Dizzy

Mistress Dizzy Fandom Auntie Dizzy

Member Seen 18 min ago

Am I allowed to give Kijani her go-bag? Contents are a full change of clothes, some money from her America, water, non-perishable snacks, cell phone, and as many stacks of paper as she could shove into it.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Am I allowed to give Kijani her go-bag? Contents are a full change of clothes, some money from her America, water, non-perishable snacks, cell phone, and as many stacks of paper as she could shove into it.


Yeah, I think you mentioned her grabbing stuff in her intro post, so you can say it was strapped to her when she was shoved in the cryopod. However, any electronics they have might not work properly after being frozen and thawed out. Then again, if it didn't damage human flesh, perhaps it's designed to not damage tech either. Yeah, let's go with that. Anything they had with them inside the pods is still fully functional.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Mistress Dizzy
Raw
Avatar of Mistress Dizzy

Mistress Dizzy Fandom Auntie Dizzy

Member Seen 18 min ago

Killer. Post get!
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
Raw
Avatar of Dead Cruiser

Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

Member Seen 11 days ago

Terra is up. Trying my best not to spoil Invincible too badly but, well.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Dead Cruiser
Raw
Avatar of Dead Cruiser

Dead Cruiser Dishonour Before Death / Better You Than Me

Member Seen 11 days ago

@udonoodles Jasper has one of my favorite superpowers, that body manipulation stuff. One of my sci-fi OCs has a very similar power, and I probably would have submitted them if we didn't have Jasper.
1x Like Like
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

So we're just waiting on Sanity and Martian. I am going to throw in another tiny post though while we wait.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by CaptainManbeard
Raw
GM
Avatar of CaptainManbeard

CaptainManbeard

Member Seen 2 mos ago

Okay, short post up. Oh, and I only used the character title images in my intro post since I'll also be writing NPCs and stuff, but everyone else can use them or not use them, I am cool either way.
Hidden 2 yrs ago Post by Mistress Dizzy
Raw
Avatar of Mistress Dizzy

Mistress Dizzy Fandom Auntie Dizzy

Member Seen 18 min ago

I wish you'd left out that last line to give us a chance to do something.
↑ Top
5 Guests viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet