That bio...

guyvolk said
That bio...

Yeah .... I suck at summarizing, or keeping things short.

Laufey said
Yeah .... I suck at summarizing, or keeping things short.

I'm here to say that I share this dilemma. I honestly have to go over everything I write like five times so it's not too wordy to post. But I think it's great to have detail. =^w^=

And than you for reserving my spot, Light. I'll be posting my bio tonight (when I can) :3

Laufey your Bio looks good but there's just a few things I wanna point out time-wise to make sure we're on the same page:

4551 - Callus is born
+18
4569 - Callus is 18, begins to work at mines
+3
4572 - Callus is 21, trapped in mines from secessionist attack (JFA not yet formed), Callus escapes and moves to Mars (you should correct the offer to "go anywhere in Sol," as only Earth, Mars and Asteroid Belt are inhabited by humans at this point), works at Anubis bar and club
+1
4573 - Callus is 22, learns to read (apparently), enlists in Martian Military Police (there's no "war-time armed force" because there has been peace since the late 2000's)
+5
4578 - Callus is 27, JFA forms and attacks (this is actually 8 years off. 4598 -12 = 4586, the year the JFA declared war on the EMA)
+7
4585 - Callus is 34, taken by OSS. (with the 8 -year fix, this would be 4593. This is still an issue though, as the Beta stage of OSS (the players) doesnt start until AFTER Sabre 01 goes AWOL, in January of 4598.)

Everything checks out content-wise, but you need to change some time-gap numbers. The end of the time line should look like this:

4572 - Callus is 21, trapped in mines from secessionist attack (JFA not yet formed), Callus escapes and moves to Mars (you should correct the offer to "go anywhere in Sol," as only Earth, Mars and Asteroid Belt are inhabited by humans at this point), works at Anubis bar and club
+1
4573 - Callus is 22, learns to read (apparently), enlists in Martian Military Police (there's no "war-time armed force" because there has been peace since the late 2000's)
+13
4586 - Callus is 35, JFA forms and attacks.
+12
4598 - Callus is 47 (as stated in your CS), taken by OSS (Operation Shadow Sabre).

Wait I did something wrong. Hold on.

There we go. You still need to edit your time gaps Laufey.

doesn't Laufey still need to do appearance and Specs?? just pointing that out unless i missed something

He does, he needs to do all three before he gets accepted.

Laufey said
I've already stated that Mars has been invaded. I hope that's okay, and I haven't over stepped too much?

This is fine. With the JFA controlling most of the Belt, it would make sense that from Mars to the Belt would be most of the action, while Earth and Jupiter are chillin.

Heh, that's a few more problems than I expected there would be. I should also probably of spent more than an hour on that, and not also be a in room with several people trying to talk to me. That, and actually proofread and cross check things before posting them ... yah.

I'll fix up those errors and finish the app later tonight, or this morning, however you one to define half past twelve in the morning.

Oh and the reading thing, I meant it more that he can read, but he couldn't at the time write. Think of it this way, you can speak Mandarin, but can you write it?

Wait, I can speak Mandarin?

I don't know, do you?

It'd be nice, it's a quite nice language.

I don't.

Updated my app with images.

Accepted

Can you please reserve #08. I'm going away from home for weekend. So i will finish it Sunday evening or Monday. I hope that is not a problem. This is what i managed to do for now but I'm after night shift and my brains are sleeping...

WIP

Logging in...
Checking clearance...
Logged...
Welcome Marshal...
Opening file #21654321
Access granted...
Opening file Saber #08...



General info

Name: Kazimieras Prokop

Nickname: Kaz

Sex: Male

Age: 30

Place of Origin: New Europe sector, Lithuania, Moon 1182

Height: 5'9

Weight: 180 lbs

Hair: Black

Eyes: Blue

Notable markings: Scars - right side of back and chest
Scars - lower left arm
Scars - upper right leg
Scars - right side cheek
Tattoo - upper left chest KING symbol [crowned skull holding dagger in its mouth]

---

Military info

Military Rank: Petty Officer Second Class

Military Decorations: 4591yr, "Star Marshal" medal for extraordinary actions facing enemy forces in battle [Operation "Homecoming"]
4596yr, "Wounded in Combat" ribbon [*Information Classified*]

Military Career: 4586-4587yr, EMA Navy Boot Camp
4587-4589yr, 135th EMA NAVY Division, 13st Battalion, 26th Infantry
4589-4591yr, 135th EMA NAVY Division, 13st Battalion, 13th Orbital Deployment
4592-4597yr, EMA NAVY Special purpose detachment "KING"

Notable missions: 4587yr, Operation "House cleaning" [Sector #19628]
4588yr, Operation "Fox Hunting" [Sector #56453]
4590yr, Operation "Homecoming" [Sector #19628]
[*Information Classified*]

---

Biography

---

Health condition/Augmentations

Health condition: Fully recovered. Lost limbs replaced with newest "Lizard" Mark 1 biomechanical limbs with artificial skin.

Biological augmentations: Injections of "Titan" serum to spinal core and blood. Tests show that subjects skeleton is now capable to handle high shock damage. Further tests show dramatical increase in regeneration capabilities of subject body. Because of faster regeneration subject body developed resistance to medium amounts of radiation and biological poisons.

Subject liver was upgraded with ADR12 fluid injector. Serum inside it can be injected directly into blood stream of subject. For short time serum mimic adrenaline rush boosting subject muscle power and reaction time. Although increased regeneration capabilities shield user inner organs abuse of serum can lead to failure of main organs. Because of dangers ADR12 has cool down that prevents abuse of it.

Biomechanical augmentations: Subject lost limbs [left palm, right shoulder and arm, both legs below knee] were replaced.

Left palm: has built in kinetic shield. User is capable to make kinetic shield and change width and form of it. If used to shield only user it can withstand direct hit of grenade launcher but with every inch user expand it it loses thickness and resistance. If fully drained shield has 5min cool down until it can be used again otherwise cool down time varies depending on how much power was drained.

Right arm: is equipped with hidden blade. User is capable to manipulate blade length from dagger to sword. Newest biomechanical developments helps to manipulate hand with high precision. It can touch things very gently or crush rocks between his fingers if needed.

Legs: are equipped with small rocket boosters that can lift soldier few meters up or soften landing. Technology is still in development and it has long cool down before subject can use it again.

---

Mental Evaluation

---

Skills

---

Issued equipment

Ah, sorry. I seemed to have lost track of this roleplay! Do forgive me.

I'll have my form up in a bit; I'm extremely busy.

Sabre 07

Military Rank: Sergeant Major

Name: Crowna Shi

Age: 29

Sex: Female

Appearance:

-Regular: Crowna, or Crow, is a diminutive woman, around the height of 4'9'', and her body is lithe and toned from hours of exercising and training. Her skin color is a light mocha in hue. Atop her head is raven colored hair that is cut short, with most of the hair reaching just below her chin with a mullet-like tail in the back ending near her mid thighs. Her hair is in a constant state of disarray except for the tail, which hangs loosely. On her heart-shaped face are large amber eyes, a very slightly up-turned nose, and a near permanent scowl.

-Sabre: Crowna's Sabre is a full-body suit with a metallic midnight purple outer layer. Attached to the arms of the suit are two long obsidian tinted chain-blades that she can extend and retract, almost like whips. The Sabre is reminiscent of a knight's armor, but extremely modernized, fit to Crowna's body for flexibility and an a sleek design. (A better explanation will be given in picture form when I draw it).

Personality: Crowna is extremely sarcastic and grumpy, with a sharp mouth to accompany her attitude. However, she is dedicated to her work and strives to further herself to greater heights. She will never stoop to underhanded means to achieve what she wants, although many would assume so from her aggressive personality. When you push past her outward roughness, you'll find a friend who can joke around with the best of them, who can be incredibly loyal, but also be bluntly honest, sometimes to damaging degrees.

---

Biography:

Crowna is from Earth, her family among the nobility of the planet. The Shi family is made up of politicians and doctors, all doing decently in their fields - until Crowna. She wasn't just decent, she excelled in the medical field, saving lives by performing surgeries by the young age of fifteen. The percentile of lives she saved or improved raised the bar for many other surgeons to meet, and attracted the notice of EMA, who recruited her for their army as a combat medic and surgeon when she turned eighteen. During her service, her skills flourished dramatically with stem-cells and robotics, lending her skill in building stem-robotic limbs and internal organs that would function better than their entirely organic counterparts.

Her life changed forever when she successfully replaced a little over 58% of a soldier's body with stem-robotics after he was caught in a horrific explosion while in a heated skirmish with the Jupiter Freedom Alliance. This surgery was the highlight of her known-career, gaining her accolades and presence within the medical community and among her peers in the army.

Not more than a week passed until she was whisked away by the Sabre-Project and told she was to join their ranks as a Sabre - and "no" wasn't an option. She wasn't necessarily going to try to reject the offer, as the nature of the program sparked her thirst for the knowledge they had on augmenting the human body, from what little they briefed her on.

Her interest peaked, and her choices limited, she got ready to be augmented.

---

Specializations:

AUGMENTS
-Precise: An augmentation that allows her eyes and hands to work on and see tiny details unaided while doing things like surgery or tinkering with mechanical wiring, and gives her an edge in CQC.

-Nimble: An augmentation in her legs that gives her the ability to run faster and jump higher than usual. Used for dodging attacks, or scaling small buildings.

-Vigor: An augmentation in her brain that grants her with a body-heat detection and vital stat HUD of those in her surroundings by scanning their internal organs, blood pressure, etc. While not it's primary use, Crowna has found it can function as a makeshift lie-detector.

-
TRAINING & SKILLS
-Medicine/Surgery: From her background as a celebrated surgeon and combat medic, it's not surprising for her to have extensive training in nearly all of the known medicinal and surgical methods.

-Combat: During her time in the army she ended up receiving basic combat training with firearms and CQC. However, when she was chosen as a Sabre she was trained extensively to use her signature chain-swords and a variety of defensive martial arts.

-Robotics/Electronics: While Crowna knows most of her robotics from building organs involving them, she can guess her way around other basic mechanical devices, although not to a great degree. She's been so invested in being a top-notch surgeon her whole life that she lacks in using any electronic that isn't involved in medicine.

-Vehicles: She knows how to operate basic vehicles (cars, motorcycles), but any aircraft or advanced vehicle is beyond her current capabilities.

Nyaonukusu is there a specific number you'd like to reserve?

Aphelion, I can see the kind of character going for and it's really cool, but her Innocento and Arma augmentations seem a bit to "fantasy" like for this roleplay. Other than augmentations, you can list other skills, training or specializations she excels in, but I still encourage you to come up with other augmentations.

Something (that you can use if you want) that would be a good example of something I'd approve of that fits your character could be some sort of Heat-Beat Sensor or "life detector" with accompanying HUD build into her brain/eyes. As long as you can make it sound scientifically/militarily fancy.