It's not necessarily the decision itself that's nerve-wracking.

Oh no, that is definitely not it. If there is one thing Katherine isn't, it's impulsive. She'd done her homework. Everything from reading blogs upon blogs from other people who've adopted to entirely renovating the room next to her in order to make it all the more welcoming yet plain. (Room for her future child to grow and develop and fill the room with mementos and personality. That was key.)

No, Katherine was not nervous over the act itself. She was as prepared as she'd ever be despite having no idea who she was adopting. No, it wasn't until she got into her mini-cooper and actually started driving towards the orphanage (Oh, children's home. The woman she spoke to over the phone seemed very pointed in her correction.) that she felt any inklings of nerves.

Which, to be fair, was a reasonable response. This was the biggest decision of her life thus far. Bigger than passing her driver's test for the first time. Bigger than finishing her first completed draft. Bigger than the day she got the phone call that her first ever novel was on the New York Times Best Seller list. Hell, bigger than the first time she lost her virginity which was a horrifying experience in and of itself. But still, this was big.

Katherine used a hand to push up her glasses, the frames perhaps a bit too large to be fashionable. She tightened her grip on the steering wheel, a breath escaping her glossed lips. She'd even taken the opportunity to make herself look what she hoped was presentable. After all, this was the first meeting and she wanted to impress them. A lot. She couldn't imagine what her future son or daughter had gone through in their past to end up there. And all she knew was that she wanted them to trust and feel comfortable with her.

She can hear her mother's voice in her ear, an alto tone with a rasp from years of smoking. If she were an idiot and closed her eyes, she was sure she'd be able to picture the woman as clear as the last time Katherine had seen her.

”Adoption? Kat... is there something wrong? I know you're not dating Neil anymore but there are options out there. Artificial Insemination is a fantastic one. Oh! You remember Janet, right? Well, her daughter was recentl artificially inseminated after her divorce. Plenty of women are taking the reins and doing things themselves and, darling, you've got the money. Why would you want to adopt when you can have a proper child of your own?”

Katherine's dark brown eyes narrowed behind her frames, a spike of annoyance going through her. She loved her mother to death, she truly did. Her mother did her absolute best to raise her and her sister and she'll never forget that. It's just... sometimes her mother got this tone in her voice. This tone that seemed to make Katherine feel like a child all over again with how condescending it sounded. She knows her mother means well, she just doesn't understand why someone would choose to take care of... well...

”They're damaged, darling. Perhaps beyond repair. And if they are able to become functioning members of society, it will take a lot of work. You have such a fantastic career, I just don't want you to get lost in the push and pull of parenting, especially when you're alone.”

Her mother and she got into a fight that evening. Over dinner with her baby sister, of all people. She remembers seeing Linda stare at the table, tuning out everything to the best of her ability and found the sour taste of guilt begin to settle on her tongue. She, of course, apologized to her sister for her temper, promising to have breakfast after she finished the adoption to tell her all about it and finish catching up. Of course, her mother had been radio silent – she'd never been one to apologize so Katherine wasn't expecting her to. She knew she'd have to eventually swallow her pride and call her up all on her own.

Katherine was a grown woman and still had to be the first one to apologize to her 71 year old mother who was even more prideful than she. Suppose she'd had to get it from somewhere.

Shaking her head to clear those thoughts, she made a right past the iron gate as she drove up the path towards the orph... children's home. It was... more rundown than she'd expected, at least from the picture she was online. But, no matter. Her future child was in there and she was ready to meet them.

Stepping out of the car after parking, her boots made not a sound as she stepped onto the dirt. She tugged down at the skirt she was wearing, a long billowy thing she'd stared at for solid minutes before deciding on it. It was fall so it was rather cold, so she'd made sure to wear tights underneath and a leather jacket over the spaghetti strap top underneath. She'd always enjoyed more earthy tones, finding love in more muted colors and interesting fabric. She was 38, not dead.

Purse over her shoulder, she approached the front door (large and intimidating.) and took a moment to appreciate the older building before ringing the bell. She did jump a little when the door opened not even 10 second after she rung, not expecting such a quick greeting.

The woman wasn't particularly interesting, apart from the look on her face as she squinted at Katherine as if she was expecting something else. Katherine, of course, didn't let herself seem at all bothered by the attention instead giving a friendly grin. “Hello! I'm Katherine Henry, I believe we talked over the phone and I don't think I'm late, am I?” She wouldn't be surprised if she'd somehow managed to mishear the time, wouldn't be the first time. Her hearing was notoriously bad. She went to one too many concerts when she was younger and her hearing hated her for it.

The woman stared at her for a bit longer before nodding and opening the door wider for her to come inside. So, Katherine gave a nod of thanks and stepped inside, fully prepared to meet her future.