The girl startles, shaken from a reverie by a sudden and shocking accusation. How serene her sister looks just now. How perfect. How graceful and majestic her feathers seem now that they're not jutting out at random angles and looking ready to shed. How pliant her fingers are and how they overlap in such perfect and intricate arrangements that it's impossible to imagine them failing at anything. She understood now, why that name had stuck. The awestruck smile was just spreading across her face, opening her lips to pay the start of some compliment.
When! All of a sudden!!
"Me?" she croaks, "No no no no. That's for you, sister. I couldn't be anyone Beautiful any more than I could be a Bella. You're, I mean, just look at you! You shine like starlight. When I watch you considering a question it's like watching a flower with infinite petals unfolding in the light of dawn. I wouldn't wish the name of a god on anybody, but if anyone could wear the mantle and not burn it'd be you. I don't... I mean,"
She holds a hand up, five plain fingers stretching to reveal thick, cruel claws.
"Just look at me. What part of me could be beautiful? I have hands like some kind of monster. My body's covered in fur in such strange ways that I can't tell which half of me was the accident. Am I meant to be growing more of it, or were my limbs struck by a disease when I was a child? I remember pain enough from back then, that feels like it might be right, but either way I'm caught in this land of in between. And just, look! Look!"
Now she pulls the shredded remnants of her dress up her leg to show off the hardened muscles that have grown in lean and irregular clusters. Whatever her history, she hadn't been born to these. Whether she was meant for softness or for the trim fit of a sprinter it was impossible to say, but her own body told her the story of someone who had fallen into and out of both shapes several times even just recently. There was no focus to any of it, no rhyme or planning. No divine hand reached down to touch her and tell her what she ought to be.
And in that absence she grew in to fit the space in all kinds of haphazard ways. Tall in ways that make her feel like ought not to be, hard and powerful but only to make her feel like a monster. Or like one is lurking just underneath her skin.
"I think I even lost an eye at some point? At least, one of these things doesn't feel like it belongs with the other. I think someone might have given me one of hers. Or maybe I am supposed to be this way. Everything about me feels like it's split along some invisible line. Maybe I was born so I could fill all kinds of roles at once. But whatever those were, none of them leave much room for being beautiful. I'm not even pretty. So come on. Don't tell jokes. At least not about this. You take the name. I look at you and my heart lights up to imagine you wearing it. It's perfect for you.
"I'll just be... hm. Where would I even begin? It felt so easy telling you, but I can't seem to turn it back around on me at all. What do I even want to be? What should I?"
When! All of a sudden!!
"Me?" she croaks, "No no no no. That's for you, sister. I couldn't be anyone Beautiful any more than I could be a Bella. You're, I mean, just look at you! You shine like starlight. When I watch you considering a question it's like watching a flower with infinite petals unfolding in the light of dawn. I wouldn't wish the name of a god on anybody, but if anyone could wear the mantle and not burn it'd be you. I don't... I mean,"
She holds a hand up, five plain fingers stretching to reveal thick, cruel claws.
"Just look at me. What part of me could be beautiful? I have hands like some kind of monster. My body's covered in fur in such strange ways that I can't tell which half of me was the accident. Am I meant to be growing more of it, or were my limbs struck by a disease when I was a child? I remember pain enough from back then, that feels like it might be right, but either way I'm caught in this land of in between. And just, look! Look!"
Now she pulls the shredded remnants of her dress up her leg to show off the hardened muscles that have grown in lean and irregular clusters. Whatever her history, she hadn't been born to these. Whether she was meant for softness or for the trim fit of a sprinter it was impossible to say, but her own body told her the story of someone who had fallen into and out of both shapes several times even just recently. There was no focus to any of it, no rhyme or planning. No divine hand reached down to touch her and tell her what she ought to be.
And in that absence she grew in to fit the space in all kinds of haphazard ways. Tall in ways that make her feel like ought not to be, hard and powerful but only to make her feel like a monster. Or like one is lurking just underneath her skin.
"I think I even lost an eye at some point? At least, one of these things doesn't feel like it belongs with the other. I think someone might have given me one of hers. Or maybe I am supposed to be this way. Everything about me feels like it's split along some invisible line. Maybe I was born so I could fill all kinds of roles at once. But whatever those were, none of them leave much room for being beautiful. I'm not even pretty. So come on. Don't tell jokes. At least not about this. You take the name. I look at you and my heart lights up to imagine you wearing it. It's perfect for you.
"I'll just be... hm. Where would I even begin? It felt so easy telling you, but I can't seem to turn it back around on me at all. What do I even want to be? What should I?"