Dyssia bears down on the Biomancer like a ship under full sail.
It's like an optical illusion, right? She's seen the ships in the yard, coming and (it seems to her, nowadays, more often) leaving. And it's amazing how slowly they seem to go, right? So calm, as if they're not mounting the heavens on a spear of flame.
The effect is very different when you're standing directly in front of one.
Words like impacable, unstoppable, inevitable come to mind. She is an avatar of Mars, suffused with a golden glow, and you could no more turn her aside than dam the sea.
Because of course, from a certain view, the biomancer is right.
This isn't her fight. She's acting completely against her own interests, and against the interests of her people, and against the interests of the Skies.
If she does nothing, she gets her life back. She saves her planet. She'll be hailed as--
Hmm. Well, no, no, let's be honest, she won't be hailed as a hero. Too much baggage to be a hero, too politically embarrassing for Merilt for her to have succeeded. No ticker tape parade for her--though can you just imagine the lemon-sucking face Merilt would make to see her back?
But her planet will survive, and balance will have been restored. She will have driven a useless species already on the brink of decommissioning into the loving hands of her biomancers, and the Skies will thrive.
She'll have exercised her right as the ranking Azura--you know, out of a total of one--to make a decision that will affect an entire species. She has the power of life and death, of reshaping life to better suit the skies, of deciding when foxes should go and when they should be remolded into adorable.
But.
But it would mean admitting that. You know.
Even the thought sticks in her throat, like a bit of food that you realized was bad too late, and is trying to come back up.
It would mean admitting that Aphrodite was right. That the Skies are more important than any sacrifice maid to maintain them. That so long as the machine functions, it doesn't matter how many people are ground into grease for its weels. That the system works.
It would mean accepting that she--Dyssia, Distracted, Fuck-up Supreme--is nevertheless the best person to make those decisions, just because she's an Azura.
As if Azura are magical, somehow different than the Servitors around them. As if they're not made of the same things. As if the blacksmith back home doesn't hide the little marks where the changes happened, and occasionally curse the way they did back at their home.
It would mean believing that the Pix--that all the servitors--are somehow less than people. Wind-up toys to be tweaked and tooled and decommissioned when no longer useful.
Her planet would survive. Dyssia might even be hailed as a hero, a saboteur.
But what would come back would not be her. She'd have lived, and have been gifted a dozen reminders of who she gave up.
Because, fuck you actually, you're dead wrong, and this is her fight.
Because if the system is right, and the system works, then she is more broken than the Pix. If she doesn't fight with everything in her to save these people, then who will fight for her? Who will stand with her if she does not stand with them?
She says none of this, but just brings the hammer down with a too-meaty splash.
It's like an optical illusion, right? She's seen the ships in the yard, coming and (it seems to her, nowadays, more often) leaving. And it's amazing how slowly they seem to go, right? So calm, as if they're not mounting the heavens on a spear of flame.
The effect is very different when you're standing directly in front of one.
Words like impacable, unstoppable, inevitable come to mind. She is an avatar of Mars, suffused with a golden glow, and you could no more turn her aside than dam the sea.
Because of course, from a certain view, the biomancer is right.
This isn't her fight. She's acting completely against her own interests, and against the interests of her people, and against the interests of the Skies.
If she does nothing, she gets her life back. She saves her planet. She'll be hailed as--
Hmm. Well, no, no, let's be honest, she won't be hailed as a hero. Too much baggage to be a hero, too politically embarrassing for Merilt for her to have succeeded. No ticker tape parade for her--though can you just imagine the lemon-sucking face Merilt would make to see her back?
But her planet will survive, and balance will have been restored. She will have driven a useless species already on the brink of decommissioning into the loving hands of her biomancers, and the Skies will thrive.
She'll have exercised her right as the ranking Azura--you know, out of a total of one--to make a decision that will affect an entire species. She has the power of life and death, of reshaping life to better suit the skies, of deciding when foxes should go and when they should be remolded into adorable.
But.
But it would mean admitting that. You know.
Even the thought sticks in her throat, like a bit of food that you realized was bad too late, and is trying to come back up.
It would mean admitting that Aphrodite was right. That the Skies are more important than any sacrifice maid to maintain them. That so long as the machine functions, it doesn't matter how many people are ground into grease for its weels. That the system works.
It would mean accepting that she--Dyssia, Distracted, Fuck-up Supreme--is nevertheless the best person to make those decisions, just because she's an Azura.
As if Azura are magical, somehow different than the Servitors around them. As if they're not made of the same things. As if the blacksmith back home doesn't hide the little marks where the changes happened, and occasionally curse the way they did back at their home.
It would mean believing that the Pix--that all the servitors--are somehow less than people. Wind-up toys to be tweaked and tooled and decommissioned when no longer useful.
Her planet would survive. Dyssia might even be hailed as a hero, a saboteur.
But what would come back would not be her. She'd have lived, and have been gifted a dozen reminders of who she gave up.
Because, fuck you actually, you're dead wrong, and this is her fight.
Because if the system is right, and the system works, then she is more broken than the Pix. If she doesn't fight with everything in her to save these people, then who will fight for her? Who will stand with her if she does not stand with them?
She says none of this, but just brings the hammer down with a too-meaty splash.