@Akayaofthemoon I really wish I could say something that would be of any use but I can't. I've never been in anything remotely like your situation and can't imagine how it must feel, so I won't attempt to comment on that. My lack of experience might make me useless at giving you any meaningful advice, but what it can't express at least my appreciation of you as a person can. Akaya, you're an amazing friend and I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I know it isn't much compared to the painful situation you're in, but I support you and think as much of you as a friend who only knows you via the internet possibly can. Thank you for being here for us and being strong enough to keep us updated even through this awful experience.