[OOC] A Land of Wonder and Nightmare

[kiiblade]

That made me smile so much! The fox happily playing with the toy he stole was adorable, and the dog barking angrily cracked me up.
After watching that, I imagine Margen playing too. How stinking adorable. I feel the need to hug something now. ^_^

For my reply, let me know if you would like it to be altered. I'm not sure if I wrote too much without giving you a chance to respond with your characters. I try never to do that, but sometimes it's hard to judge.

[Riven Wight]

*Offers you one of my stuffed animals to hug.*

It all worked out! Well, I hope so, anyway. xD Since the pacing of a fight is really quick, it tends to make things a bit difficult in a post-by-post situation. From what I've noticed, you'll end up with either short, open-ended posts, or semi-longer ones and working around what is written. I mean, in the time it takes to read about a single action (depending on the description and reader's reading speed, I suppose), realistically, one could have likely completed a couple different attacks depending on the circumstance and character's skill and agility. It can take a couple paragraphs to describe actions that occur simultaneously, or near to it. A fight that takes four-ish pages to write about could be over in technically 30 seconds to a minute (rough gustimate. Never actually fully checked word-count to time-count... Aaaand that's been added to my "To Do" list).

In short, don't worry about possibly misjudging when to end a post. Just write what you want and are inspired to write. One way or another, it'll work out. If I ever can't work around something or one of my characters would interrupt and completely derail the rest of your post, I'll be sure to let you know! Just be sure to do the same for me if I do that to you! :-)

P.S. Your whole post was wonderful (love how Ghent responds and tries to talk Drust down), but this stood out to me: "Staring down at the dagger he managed to retain, Ghent's mind spun. He wasn’t a stranger to a brawl or two, but this was different. This was Drust. Armed or not, he didn't stand a chance." It, in particular, gave me happy reader shivers.

[kiiblade]

It does! Somehow we've managed to make it flow nicely. My post before this one was almost one of the shorter posts. I nearly ended it where Ghent asks Drust to listen, but then I figured...hey, if he talks really fast, maybe he can get his message across without me having to drag that into another post. xD

"A fight that takes four-ish pages to write about could be over in technically 30 seconds to a minute".
Wow. That's crazy to think about, but it makes sense, since there are so many actions to cover. Not to mention dialog, reactions, terrain, weapons, etc. Sounds like a good guesstimate to me. If you ever get around to calculating it, let me know your findings!

I will do that then. Usually I have a pretty good feeling where to stop a post, but I wanted to make sure I didn't overstep on this one. And absolutely, I'll do the same for you, should that ever happen!

I'm so pleased you liked it! Happy reader shivers is precisely what I got when reading yours. I loved every second of it. I'll add my thoughts below. :D

thoughts!

First, the way you had Elayra intervene. That was awesome. You wrote her actions so well, and Drust's reaction, I could see it perfectly. I love how fierce she is. (Did I mention I love your characters?!)

Like Ghent, I was foolish enough to believe Drust would actually listen to reason...then...THIS:

His lips pulled back into a snarl. “Adorable notion.” He raised the sword and stepped to lunge at Ghent.

I got chills. My heart beat doubled in speed. I FELT the darkness in that.

Last but not least, the part with Margen. The way you wrote that scene was flawless.

Blue and silver strands of electricity occasionally sparked through his body. The glow radiating from his fur illuminated the space around him like a living lantern. Mist rained upward from his back and swishing tail, only to dissolve into the air.

The way you describe his appearance and actions. *Places hand on heart* Thanks to your writing, it takes little effort imagine and to see him, even though he's a made up creature. I love him.

[Riven Wight]

Quick note: Not sure if you were just writing for how Ghent saw it or if I didn’t get it across well enough, but, just in case, I was attempting to imply that the mist in Margen’s sneeze knocked Drust out. If it’s the latter, I’ll try to make a mental note to be clearer about that kind of thing in the future!

Well. You’re a great writer. It’s not surprising we managed to make it flow nicely. ;-) Even ending it there would have still given enough to move things forward. But I like it better that you added that in there!

I will be sure to let you know if I ever end up calculating that! Heh.

I’m glad to hear it! Oh! Wasn’t expecting the comments. Sweet! Hey, Elayra warned him there would be no talking Drust down if he woke up outside a Safe Zone. ;-)

Post Comments

My intro to psych teacher was a believer that the "fight or flight" response should have "freeze" added to it, since that is such a common reaction in stressful situations. We know which one Ghent's most prone to, I think! Seriously. You play his fear so well! That he forgot about Elayra being down in the heat of, well, almost getting ran through was great, too.

And seriously, you can turn some good phrases! Some of my favored lines:

> Any remaining hope was shattered with two words. (... Yes. Just yes.)
> Shock robbed him of his senses and left him unable to react. (There's that "freeze" so wonderfully and simply explained!)
> Hollow Forest was denied another victim...
> It happened so fast and effortlessly, Ghent wondered if Margen was better suited to save Wonderland. (Aww, poor Ghent. Outdone by a spirit fox. xD)
> The state of sleep hardly made Drust appear less threatening, but it was definitely an improvement.
> She remained where Drust left her, her frame looking smaller than usual against the tall, looming tree. (That's a fantastic contrast. Hadn't thought about that. Awesome sauce! And I like the word "looming.")

[kiiblade]

Oh, darn. Nope, that was my fault. You wrote the scene very clearly and I totally understood, but after reading my response, I realized I made it sound as if Drust tripping was the cause for his returning to unconsciousness, and not Margen's sneeze. xD Sorry about that! I was trying to explain what Ghent saw, yes, but I think I could have worded that better.

As for your comments: I like your psych teacher, because "freeze" is definitely an option I see for a stressful situation! And thanks so much, I'm super glad you think so! Fear is a fun reaction to write for, and this is the first time I really get to do that. So, it's quite fun. For me, at least. For him? Not so much. ;P

And thanks again for the phrases you picked out! I didn't realize I did that, so it's fun when you point them out to me! I absolutely loved Elayra's reaction when she first woke up, by the way. And then...this. I love your brand of humor.

- “You… actually… found one?” she asked incredulously, deciding to first address the easiest of the oddities before her. Her voice came out a bit weaker than she expected.

- “And… took out Drust?” She had to still be unconscious.

I mean...can anyone blame her for being disbelieving?! xD

[Riven Wight]

No worries! I reread before I brought that up and realized I could have worded my part a bet clearer as well, thus wanting to make sure. Something to always remember about a roleplay: no matter how many times you edit a post, it is all still a first draft. When you edit a post (or something you just wrote in a first draft), it's usually immediately or soon after you write it. What you thought or wanted to say is still super fresh in your mind, so you're more likely to read it the way you want to, not necessary the way it is. On the other hand, when you edit other work (or a second, third, or one-hundredth draft), typically you want to let it set for at least a couple days so you can better separate what you had meant from what you put, and catch more mistakes... and get over the pride and/or excitement over having written something. Those can cloud editing abilities. So know you should never feel bad about something like that! That I look at RPs as one big, fun first draft is one reason I don't get nitpicky with posts, and only mention more reoccurring, overarching issues/mistakes I may notice. After all, first drafts are never as clean as they could be.

Yep, you're definitely a writer! Fear really is such fun to write for. We're such horrible people. But I'm pretty sure that that comes with being a writer. I mean, you heard those prologues from the big-names the other day! xD
You phrase things in amazing ways more often than you think, it seems! If I was reading your posts printed out, I'd be using a lot of green tabs (for short descriptions I love and want to remember, typically two-three words long), pink tabs (longer descriptions I usually have to reread just for the pleasure of reading them again), and blue tabs (quote-worthy phrases)!

Thank you! I'm glad you like my humor! xD I'm never really sure if something will be perceived as funny, cute, or just a part of the scene, so I'm glad you find that in there. As I've probably said (multiple times, knowing me) I don't consider humor to be one of my strengths. It's one of those things where if I find something I write amusing, I have no idea if anyone else would. It goes pretty much like this:



Quick addition: I added those links to the pictures to Elayra's profile! They're under "Weapons."

[kiiblade]

That's a wonderful way of looking at it! I never considered a RP being like a big, fun draft. That makes me feel a bit better, since there are things I wish I had changed, added, or worded better. Especially in my earlier posts. Still, I remind myself it's for fun as you said, and I know we've been having a blast so far. :D

We are horrible, aren't we?
Oh, stop that. XD You're too kind. That made me smile, though. Thank you kindly! Gosh, I'd probably run out of tabs for yours if this was printed out.

I absolutely do. In my opinion, humor is one of your strengths. It's especially telling when you have a character that isn't of the humorous sort (Drust and Elayra) to have moments that are funny to the reader. You add just the right amount and the timing is fantastic.

An example:

Drust turned just as Ghent raised a hand for a high-five. His eyes narrowed and his pale lips pulled down in a knowing frown, but he made no move to return the gesture.

See, you didn't even need any dialog, just his reaction cracked me up. I would say humor is one of your strengths, because you somehow manage to have it with characters that aren't intended to be humorous.

I love that image. That's how I feel after I speak sometimes. xD

Wow! Those are awesome! I love the color (I keep forgetting they're blue!), and the shape of the kris one is especially cool.

[Riven Wight]

Hmm. I forgot I never actually responded to your last OOC here. Sorry!

Yep! So don't ever worry about that. It's all about learning and, most importantly, having fun! Which yep, I'm having a flippin' blast here!

Aww, well, thanks! I appreciate it, and am happy you do find humor in it! I appreciate you taking the time to put an example. :-)

I sometimes forget they're blue, too. xD When I suddenly remember is about when I put the reminders in IC!

On to what I had actually come here to say that made me realize I never replied:

Your description works just fine, but just as a quick reminder since it's been a while: it’s Earth’s magic that was extremely eager and excitable. Wonderland’s magic is typically a bit less so, especially to those new to it. Wonderland’s magic has to get used to Ghent before it will readily come to his every command when his emotions aren’t intensely influencing his choices, but once there’s that connection—which Ghent has from his first use of it at the portals' gate—it will come because of his race.

The difference in aura Ghent may notice is that on Earth, it’s almost childlike (or like a new puppy, to keep with the analogy I used in IC), curious and overly enthusiastic. In Wonderland, on the other hand, it’s like a weathered veteran or old, wounded hound. It’s ancient and well-used, and would feel/act proud and impatient. He may also notice that the stronger and more uncontrolled his emotions when he calls on it, the quicker the world’s magic will pick up on his commands/desires and react.

Most of that will likely get explained to Ghent in detail at some point, but thought I would put that here for future reference if we take a while to get to that. I imagine it would be soon-ish, though, now that they have the potential of having some down time to ask and answer questions.

[kiiblade]

No worries! I kind of forgot we had an OOC chat here, since we've been utilizing the Shackles one so much.

Oh, shoot! My apologies for forgetting that! I'll keep it in mind from here on out. I can edit my post before last, if you'd like. I completely forgot that the magic differs depending on if they're on Earth or Wonderland. My bad!

Yay, downtime! Prepare yourselves, Wonderlanders...it's 20 Questions time.

[Riven Wight]

In case you decide to check the OOC first, go read the IC post first. 'Cause this kinda has spoilers, otherwise.

The Rest of this Post

Have a picture reference:

Ghent's Weapon

I had fun editing that together. xD

Of course, if you don't like it or would rather something else, just let me know! And since he has that book, you're welcome to make up focus words! I've been mixing different Latin words for them and giving them a bit of my own twist for the others. The journal has mostly beginner stuff. Simple, low-level instructions and focus words that even a common Wonderlander could potentially use at one point in time. And everything that's written up in the information post about magic would also be in there. I will let you know if/as I update it! And of course, as Drust said, if you have any questions or want to know if something would be possible/work or not, don't hesitate to ask!

[kiiblade]

Said it before in Hangouts, but I gotta say it again: I absolutely love the staff, and nothing at all has to be changed. Everything about it is perfect. I adore the picture edit as well! You described it beautifully, but it's always fun to have concept art. (Will be nice as a reference for art, too).

Drust giving him Hatter's book made me smile. Ghent definitely needed that! Super, about making the focus words up! When I think of some, I'll run them by you first. And thank you so much! I liked how Drust told Ghent to come for him with questions.

Speaking of questions -- I didn't get around to it yet, but Ghent has plenty more to ask. Still planning on him accidentally finding out about what Drust is, and maybe he'll even ask about what Elayra's mistake was later on. He's too busy admiring his gifts right now. For once, I can't blame him. ;P

I'm still so invested and curious about their travels with Ellheim, Alden, and the rest of the Omitten! Ahh! We need a spin-off series. I went back to make sure Ghent knew who the Omitten were -- he did, and they were mentioned on page 4. Found it thanks to your handy dandy list of Wonderland terms. Thank you for being so organized. XD

[kiiblade]

He sat back, one knee bent and the other leg beneath him. He rested a hand on his raised knee, staring at the flickering flames as he recited the inscription.

Why is this the most beautiful sentence I've ever read?!

*ahem*

I had a few questions related to my post so I thought I would put them here.
First, I don't recall Drust's age ever being mentioned, correct? If it did, I can delete that from the questions Ghent asked him.
And this is a tad random, but does the cloak have a hood?

On a side but Drust related note, your current avatar {RotSH} gives off teen Drust vibes.

Update: minor edit, but I had to add the "what are you?" question to my post. An obvious one that I somehow forgot to add.

[Riven Wight]

No clue, but thanks!

> No, I don’t think Drust’s age has been mentioned in IC. Can’t recall that ever coming up, or having the opportunity to come up in conversation for them. Just how old Ghent would perceive him as, I think, appearance-wise. If I’m wrong, sorry!

> Hey, it’s pertinent. :-D Yep, it has a hood! It’s a deep hood, intended to hide Drust's face if necessary.

Ha! I'm beginning to wonder if anyone with a menacing and/or crazed look and dark hair makes you think of teen Drust. xD <3

Oh, hey! You mentioned that here. Heh. Promise I didn’t even know you edited this section until I went to respond.

Woo! Yep, he asked the ‘right questions’ for the tidbit of info I’d been dying to share. That I’d bet you’ve guessed already. ;-) But poor Ghent and his obliviousness. xD At least he doesn’t immediately trust them! He’s got the sense for that. Heh. As always, the little things you add are wonderful, and I'll forever love his personality! And he went to The Powerpuff Girls. How’s ‘Powerpuff’ not stranger than OmniChrono, Ghent?

So! I’ve gotten the first chapter thing up for the first side-story under “Story Time!” It’s at the very bottom of the info post. Two notes on it: First, something stated in it is different from what’s been stated in IC. Know it’s an intended contradiction in the moment, and there’s a reason for that, which will get stated later. What’s in IC is how it was planned. Then, since you’ll find Ghent’s name used freely in more than just what’s there so far, I wanted to get that explained to you since Drust’s told him to think about an assumed name. Plus, that info would also be found in Hatter’s journal somewhere with other notes about vinifcium, so it’s likely Ghent would read that at some point if he reads the journal. Only in a more condensed form. Will add a sub-section for that under “A Guide to Magic.”

Vinifcium Name Info

When a vinifcium is born, like everyone else, they’re given a true birth name. However, because of their race, this birth name is one that magic itself knows them by, one that can give spells power, be they cast by or against the vinifcium. Thus, it’s one that's only ever used or known by a grand total of three people: the one it belongs to and their parents.
To avoid any mishaps before a child is old enough to understand the implications of using his/her true name, they’re given a second name. A faux name. This is a name vinifcium parents give their child a few months after their birth. It serves as a substitute name, preventing the ignorant child from giving out his or her true name, and gives parents a means of addressing their child. Though some have been told much earlier depending on the child's maturity and understanding, a vinifcium is told their true name typically around the age of ten.
Between the ages of 12 and 15, they’re required to shed their faux name and take on a new alias they’ll keep through adulthood. This final name ultimately holds no magic power over them since it’s technically the third name they’ve had, and one they chose for themselves. However, if the faux name isn’t abandoned by the vinifcium, it can begin to hold a certain amount of power over them after the age of 16, its power increasing with each year that passes. Should this combine with not knowing their true birth name, it holding some form of power over them is guaranteed. Though only a portion of the strength of knowing a vinifcium’s birth name, it’s still enough to cast many spells on them that would typically be useless without knowing their birth name, though a much deluded version of the full spell.

Hatter’s jounal version (or something like it):
Vinifcium=three names
1. True/birth name (powerful with spells, tell it to no one)
2. Fake given name (mostly useless in magic, but must be dropped before 16)
3. Assumed name (powerless against owner—Get thinking now!)

[kiiblade]

Alrighty, sweet! Means I didn't mess up. Heh.

Ooh, mysterious. On Drust, that is...I have a feeling Ghent will get lost in the hood.

Glad I had him ask the right questions! As for the tidbit...(incoming spoiler for anyone lurking...)

...HATTER CREATED DRUST. You know...I'm not sure if I suspected that. I may have, had I thought about it, but it came as a surprise to me. So, so cool! I thoroughly enjoyed learning about Drust's abilities too. Ghent may need a while to take everything in.

Now for Story Time...

I have a lot to say about each, so I'll begin with my thoughts on part one.

Part One Thoughts

“Death marches here for us not as a reaper, but as a woman in red."



That has got to be one of my favorite quotes ever.

Let me begin by saying both parts were a DELIGHT to read. My immediate thought was how cool it is to have a prologue to an already amazing story you created. I know you've put a crazy amount of thought and work into the plot and characters so far, but this added a lot of depth and weight to the journey our characters are on. Seeing a time before the Curse makes it all the more tragic to see the aftermath.

The way you establish the setting is wonderful. Thanks to your descriptions and attention to detail, it's easy to imagine the scene taking place. The characters are unique and you captured them beautifully, while also connecting things to the current RP. (The voice Ghent heard through the portal, Drust's connection to Hatter and the White Queen, etc).

I love the White Queen. She's so dignified and you get a sense of how strong her will is. Also, the tension between her and Hatter was brilliant. Speaking of, Hatter is spectacular. It's admirable, yet painful, to see how much he wants to save everyone despite the odds being against stacked them. </3

“There’s been too much death already.” He tilted his head back down and scrunched his eyes shut. “Ghent and Elayra have already lost a parent. Neither should have to lose both.”



Why must you hurt me like this?!

As for the other characters, they were a blast to read for. The comment about the table earned a chuckle from me.
It was great seeing Drust, he's so poised and unbelievably loyal. <3 It was really interesting to see him before the Curse! His and Hatter's interactions were golden. I loved their friendship before, but this only fueled my admiration. Also, their banter near the end made me grin. :'D

*takes breath* Alright, now for my comments for part two.

Part Two Thoughts

There's so much cuteness packed in part two. I'm a sucker for fluff moments. And seeing our characters when they were so small and precious and---



My first impression: you have a knack for writing for little kids. Excuse me while I die over little Elayra latching onto Drust's leg. And Ghent... You captured him so well! I grinned when he was armed and ready to avenge Elayra. Or, Ellie, as he calls her. Which is freaking ADORABLE.

I checked back to make sure Soren wasn't mentioned before. For some reason, his name was familiar but I couldn't find him in the IC posts so it must have been my imagination. Regardless, he's darling. I hope he finds his parents... ; - ; Holeland, I do remember. It was fun seeing him as the stand-in babysitter. Give this man a raise!

Hatter raised an eyebrow. “You sure it was her?”
“Aye!”
Hatter sighed. He held out a hand toward Ghent and snapped his fingers to get his son’s attention. “Did you eat it or keep it?”

Hatter is definitely his dad.

Also this:

Drust shook his head. “I don’t care how many languages you know; it’s still beyond me how you can understand him,” he muttered.

x'D

I'd like to mention this again, you write for children remarkably well. This is something I've struggled with in the past (I had a five-year-old character in a former RP) so I can appreciate that this age range presents new challenges. I love how believable you made them. And clingy. :'D

More scattered thoughts I thought I'd include:

- The chance to see Hatter and Ghent interacting is more than I could've hoped for.
- Hatter knows other languages!!
- Awwh. Soren. He just wanted his tart back. Such a thing for kids to fight over. xD
- The Knights are amazing, and I'm loving the name Vardin.
- THE MANTRA. I love that it existed even then!
- Elayra is too precious. "Dust". ; ~ ; My heart.

Overall, you did a marvelous job with this. Your characters are lifelike and have so much dimension to them, it's impossible /not/ to get invested. I can't thank you enough for doing this! If it's even possible, it makes me adore the characters and plot all the more. I look forward to what happens next!

Once the prologue is finished, I'll tweak my former post a bit to stay more true to what actually happened, if that's alright!

As for the Vinifcium name info...

Thank you so much for explaining that! He'll be going through the journal soon enough here so that's really good to know. It also reminded me that I need to get thinking on an assumed name for him. Unless he wants to stick with Featherhead, of course. xD The entire concept is wonderful!

[Riven Wight]

I forgot I never actually responded to this. Heh.

Think we should get the search party ready to rescue him? xD

Yep! *Grins.* I'd been waiting sooooo long to get that bit of info out there! It was almost painful keeping it inside. I'm thrilled you like that tidbit!

Ch. 1

Admittedly, I was quite fond of that quote too. Glad I wasn't the only one!

Really, again, wow! I'm soooo happy you liked those first couple chapters so far! Yeah, where all of that came from has been mulling around in my head since around the beginning, so it's nice to get it out and solidified.

Hmm. I bet Hatter would get along well with Emma.

'Cause I'm a writer:


I honestly kinda hope I get the reason/inspiration to write a bit more for some of the council at some point. There was actually one member absent. He was on a different errand. ;-) And the banter of besties! xD

Ch. 2

I’m curious: you’re using “fluff moment” to mean a sort of cutesy, light-hearted scene, right?

^.^ I’m glad you found them so adorable! I guess being forced to be around a bunch of kids fairly often before moving came in handy. Plus some random research. Yeah, ‘clingy’ definitely describes little Elayra! And glad I was able to do little Ghent justice!

Nope, Soren’s a random kid who came in with the rest of the townsfolk for safety.

Thanks for adding the random/scattered thoughts! And, well all of what you've written/said about it. I always love hearing/reading your reactions to things. And yep, Hatter knows many languages!

Aww! Thank you so much! It’s been my pleasure. I’ve enjoyed writing it out. If nothing else, it’s good for practice. And thank YOU for being a part in this! It honestly wouldn’t have built up so much if you hadn’t gotten involved with it. It’d probably be another single idea in a random document somewhere gathering virtual dust.

Aaaand still need to get that extra section up for Hatter's book. But LAZY on that front.

On a random note, since I doubt it’s information he’d find out unless he brings it up, what Ghent perceives as warts in the jerky is actually hardened pockets of certain nutrients that welled up during its curing process. He doesn’t know that, but doesn’t mean you can’t. :-)

And so you know, if he’d have noticed what Elayra did, Ghent’s cloak also has the hidden slits in the back. Though, it’d probably be big enough on him for him to just drape the cloak over his backpack, too.

[kiiblade]

I'll bet! That's huge. Such a great plot twist! Man, I just love your characters and the thought you put into them and their backgrounds. You know that, but I feel the need to say it.

Hmm. I bet Hatter would get along well with Emma.
^ Definitely! Because they both want to save everyone despite the odds being stacked against them? Now I'm imagining them working together. Best crossover ever. Save all the kids/Wonderlanders!



Someone was absent? Now I'm really curious as to who they are, and what their errand was...

No rush! Ghent needs to crack that journal open already.

Oh, yeah, that's what I meant by fluff moment. I was under the impression that's what the term meant, sorry if that has a double meaning I'm not aware of?

They're absolutely wonderful. It's so neat to see them at that age, and that's cool you were able to use inspiration from having kids over! Funny how stuff like that can aid in writing. You never know where inspiration will come from.

Love the thought you put into the toatunt jerky. Is it weird I want to try some? It'd probably make Ghent feel a tiny bit better to know the bumps aren't warts. Think the damage has already been done though.

Sweet! I had him notice that about the cloak having that function.

[Riven Wight]

So, once you get Ghent into the forest, unless you have something else you'd want to do/to happen, I'll do another time skip to when they're out of the forest. Likely a little after, when they're closer to the town, if you don't mind!

Side note, just in case: Drust had explained the ghost bit for Ghent's sake, technically talking to him, but wasn't looking at either of them. Elayra was observing him to make sure he wasn't curse-ridden, but his focus was on the Chrono. Also, for reference if you'd like, this is a hooded cowl, which is what Drust has on.

Well, thank you so much! I always appreciate hearing it. :-) It's always nice to know when you're work's being appreciated by someone besides yourself! Heh.

Oh my gosh. With Hatter on their side, think they'd have a good chance of survival?

Yep! And one of the descendants of that member will likely come into play at some point.

Not like Ghent's had the chance or anything!

While I've noticed people using that term lately to mean cutesy scenes, its meaning in writing is very different. To my understanding, a fluff scene/wording is a bad thing. Fluff, in editing/writing terms, is essentially synonymous with filler, but can also refer to an overall writing style that fits that definition. Fluff words are your simple, weak words or whole phrases that really only need a word or two, and should be deleted or changed in an edit. A.k.a. filler words. A fluff piece is filled with painfully unnecessary details and often gets boring, fast. Like the articles you may get suggested on your phone that promise one thing in the headline, spend 97% of the article rambling on about something you don't care about, then get to what you want in a couple sentences toward the bottom that you likely skipped to anyway because you got bored of all the other crud that had nothing directly to do with the title. Fluff piece. BUT, in context here, I got your meaning for "fluff," it just gave me pause with its positive context before I remembered how it often gets used nowadays. :-)

Hey. I'm the kind of person who tends to know a little too much about my fictional world. THEY'RE REAL IN MY HEAD, DANGIT! You might be a writer, if... Ha! Well, if I ever stumble on a way to make something that matches the taste description of the jerky, I'll let you know. xD

Yep, yep! It's fantastic how you had him do that. Love that he didn't figure it out right away--makes it realistic! Thinking of, that's another thing you're good at from what I've seen, keeping things so they feel realistic, especially to your character.

If Drust’s abilities also covered reading minds, Ghent was as good as dead.

FOR REAL, DUDE! But, I quite like his thoughts, especially his, "You're welcome, by the way.. And that he's bitter, but smart enough to not saying anything at the moment. But man, I have a feeling it'll get interesting, depending on how/if that repressed bitterness manifests later on!

[kiiblade]

Sounds good! I was about to ask about that actually. If there's anything I could add to make the time-skip easier, let me know! I'd imagine he was jumpy but quiet for the most part. And probably stuck annoyingly close. Because who wants to get lost in a forest of ghosts?

Oh! I tweaked my post to reflect that. It makes sense he would be speaking to Ghent there. Also, I've never seen a hooded cowl before! Thanks for the reference pic, that's pretty cool. The way it's cut at the shoulders reminds me of an executioner's hood.

Of course! Thank you for taking the time to write, read, and share your work! It's always a pleasure. :)

Heck yeah! Hatter would singlehandedly save everyone. No doubt in my mind.

Ooh. A descendant you say?... Now I'm extra curious!

Ahh. I wasn't aware of it having a negative meaning in writing. I picked up the term from my Neopets days and saw people using it on here in their RP preferences, so I thought it was used solely to describe something lighthearted/cute. Oops. Well, thanks for telling me that! I definitely meant it in a good way of course. :D

Nothing wrong with that! Fictional characters and fictional worlds are wonderful. The more thought that's put into them, the more real they become.

Aw, thanks! Yeah, he's fun to write for now that I have a better feel for his character. Absolutely, that'll manifest itself, especially as things get more difficult. He can only take so much until he officially snaps.

[Riven Wight]

Quick note of small, unimportant detail: Ghent wouldn't have been capable of seeing the clearing from the outside in Hollow Forest. That's one of the things that make it a Safe Zone. I think that got mentioned before, but that would have been at least a page ago, if not two. So, you know, last year. Don't you just love life's unending obstacles?

Needless to say, nope! It was great as-is to lead into the time skip. For a future thought suggestion, maybe think about leading into a time skip like ending a chapter. Usually how it is in my head. Yay for an eleven-ish hour hike! It's a big forest. They would have rested along the way, of course, for as long as Ghent and/or Elayra would have needed each time. And they've been out of Hollow Forest and in your typical woods for between one and two hours at this point, following the stream.

Looks good! Hooded cowels are a medieva/renaissance piece of garb. That have actually been adapted in different forms into the modern day, from what I can tell... And yeah, huh? Makes it that much neater now! I like the way you see things.

Not sure about that, but he'd appreciate the thought!

:-D

Yep, yep! Gotta love when terms get other, opposite uses in different places. If you look up fluff writing, the negative term is what you'll get more of than another way to say light-hearted writing. And I know you did. :-)

I kinda can't wait to see how him snapping plays out.

[kiiblade]

Ah! No problem, I'll edit that as well. That sounds familiar. "Last year". XD For sure. Life's been ...interesting this year, hasn't it?

That's a great way to think about it, thanks for that tip! Eleven hours?! My feet hurt just thinking about it. Let's hope their boots/sneakers have good arch support. Thank you for the information too, I tried to incorporate into my post so it lined up with what happened.

I'm surprised I never heard of them before, but I can see how they'd be handy. Yet another thing I've learned through this! I think Enda would approve of it because it doesn't have the 'cape' -- er, cloak -- part.

*Googles* Wow! Now I wonder if I've ever accidentally upset someone by saying their writing had fluff moments in it.

Right?! That'll be very interesting. It'll probably even take me by surprise.