[OOC] The Promise - The Ghost Note Wuz Here. He said "Say the N Word."

[Mixtape Ghost N]

@JunkMail Allow me to say that the changes you made to my sheet make zero sense!

:D

[JunkMail]

@Mr Allen J

I added 'Year'. Because I figured it'd be important to say how many years they've been on The Promise if they're not new.

That's it.

Literally that's all I altered.

I even showed you the new sheet.

Why are you commenting on it now?

u skrub

[KaiserElectric]

We're going to have a lot of girls, it seems.

[SepticGentleman]

We're going to have a lot of girls, it seems.

@KaiserElectric

It's inevitable, really. Almost like a law of the universe (in roleplaying). We must have grills.

[JunkMail]

We're going to have a lot of girls, it seems.

@KaiserElectric

I'll just make this a Mean Girls RP but in space and with superpowers.

[Mixtape Ghost N]

We're going to have a lot of girls, it seems.

@KaiserElectric

boys r gross

like have you ever seen a penis before?

the worst shit ever

[Ellion]

I swear I am working on a CS....okay, maybe not swear, but I promise it is happening...maybe...probably. Yes. And I'll even make one of those gross penis things @Mr Allen J

[JunkMail]

I swear I am working on a CS....okay, maybe not swear, but I promise it is happening...maybe...probably. Yes. And I'll even make one of those gross penis things @Mr Allen J

@Ellion

Boys go to Jupiter to get moar stupider. Girls go to Promise to get more knowledge.

[SepticGentleman]

<Snipped quote by Ellion>

Boys go to Jupiter to get moar stupider. Girls go to Promise to get more knowledge.

@JunkMail

You suck.

[Mixtape Ghost N]

<Snipped quote by Ellion>

Boys go to Jupiter to get moar stupider. Girls go to Promise to get more knowledge.

@JunkMail

This post is so bad that it literally blinded me.

[JunkMail]

<Snipped quote by JunkMail>

This post is so bad that it literally blinded me.

@Mr Allen J

But I ain't a rapper

<Snipped quote by JunkMail>

You suck.

@SepticGentleman

Not all heros wear capes.

[Mixtape Ghost N]

Not all heros wear capes.

@JunkMail

But, do you know what happens if you don't die a hero?

[JunkMail]

@Mr Allen J

You die of old age?

[Hippocamp]

Jayne Brandwick

Jayne Brandwick

⫸ B A S I C I N F O R M A T I O N ⫷

⫸ A P P E A R A N C E ⫷

▼ | S T A T S : |

▸ B I R T H N A M E : | Jane Brandwick.
▸ N I C K N A M E / A L I A S : | The Cultist
▸ G E N D E R : | Female
▸ A G E : | 17
▸ H E I G H T : | 6’
▸ W E I G H T : | 176 lbs
▸ E T H N I C I T Y : | Caucasian, American
▸ Y E A R : | Freshman

▼ | P H Y S I C A L D E S C R I P T I O N : |

Jayne looks like she arrived from the pages of a fucked up fairytale where she just finished killing the wicked stepmother, to prove she herself is twice as wicked. Her tattoos are uncountable, and she rolls her eyes at anyone who asks how many there are. She is able to name the states she had them put on in, however. Even the whites of her eyes are inked purple, so that she looks as otherworldly as possible: which is how she likes to feel, as well. She feels most herself when she able to be completely expressive with the surface of her skin, be it the elegant scarring on her forehead or the tattoos of flying geese encroaching up her shoulder blades.

⫸ P S Y C H O L O G Y ⫷

▼ | P E R S O N A L I T Y : |

Jayne understands that the use of her power can bring hardship to others. It’s just that, she doesn’t care. She has become addicted to feelings of power it gives her, the rush of energy from twisting the victims of her corruption into malicious deeds. It has become akin to a drug problem for her, though those in her surroundings would have difficulty placing her as the cause of these contortions of emotion. Besides this, she herself is not needlessly cruel. She does not typically pick on those who are already down, she has a rudimentary sense of justice. She enjoys that her power can inflict harm even to the best of those around her: meaning she has some control even over people who think themselves her superiors. She once caused her seventh grade math teacher, Ms. Albright, to become so infuriated after breaking a nail that she threw a chair out of a window. Math class was then canceled for three entire days. It made Jayne feel great, so she continued to be a malignant influence ever since. She never learned to enjoy doing math, however.

▼ | B A C K S T O R Y : |

Jayne was raised in a traditional American nuclear family, who she corresponds with regularly even if they are separate: her mother, father and younger sister. She doesn’t remember when or why she first used her powers, but she demonstrated her ability to freeze water so that she would be able to go to the Promise. None of her family members prior to her possessed any meta-human ability, so she impressed them when she announced she was going to the academy in the sky. She enjoyed the fact that she wouldn’t have to go to college: she had felt trapped in her classroom environment for too long, and could only entertain herself so much before she felt like freezing someone’s jugular. Her hope is that there will be more liberty granted to her on the Promise than there was below, on the ground. Freer above the clouds, right?

⫸ P O W E R I N F O R M A T I O N ⫷

▼ | P O W E R C L A S S I F I C A T I O N : |

Other

▼ | P O W E R D E S C R I P T I O N : |

VILE CORRUPTION: Jayne is able to greatly increase the cruelty, maliciousness and generally aggressiveness of wounded target. As long as the target has felt pain, or emotional trauma, within the last few minutes, she can sway their mood deeply into the negative. An example would be someone who has just cut their hand chopping vegetables: or someone who has just been laughed at by bullies. These susceptible targets can then be invited to cause destruction in what they suddenly feel is an entirely justifiable act: like throwing their knife at the floor, or kicking one of the bullies in the stomach. Jayne physically gains strength and stamina by corrupting others, and recharges her Frost Blight.

FROST BLIGHT: Jayne is able to freeze liquids on contact, but at the expense of great strength and endurance. Cooling blood to standstill state takes extended concentration, so while her power cannot be used to kill at any quick pace it can be utilized to coup de grace a fallen opponent. The Cultist is also impervious to the cold, and will never suffer any ill effect from being too cold: the only difficulty for her in swimming in a vat of arctic water naked would be the lack of air.

▼ | L I M I T S | W E A K N E S S E S : |

The Cultists powers require the right circumstances: a mental or physical injury, or the presence of water or pools of liquid. Excepting these, she can only harm by touch at the expense of much of her energy, not enough besides to finish off an opponent. She is able to become stronger under the right circumstances, such as a situation of strife where her corruption can gather more energy to be used to chill what she touches.

While the Cultists Frost Contagion is regulated by the scientists aboard the promise, she possesses the discreetly dangerous emotion altering ability in total secrecy. By an immense amount of luck on her part, it was not detected in any way, perhaps overshadowed entirely by the freezing ability. This means that it has not been considered whether to kill her over her emotion controlling ability as of yet, and if she uses it wisely enough, it could remain unaddressed.

⫸ O T H E R ⫷

Nu

Is dis ok?

[JunkMail]

Alright, @Hippocamp, I've read it over, given it an hour of thought, and sat down.

I'm fine with an edgy character, a certain level of abrasiveness is necessary for some character's backstory and oftentimes can create a sense of depth. This character takes that and runs with it to a certain degree- but that degree is a bit beyond the realm of normal. Even by metahuman standards.

I'll note a few things.

Jayne looks like she arrived from the pages of a fucked up fairytale where she just finished killing the wicked stepmother, to prove she herself is twice as wicked.

Kek

Jayne understands that the use of her power can bring hardship to others. It’s just that, she doesn’t care.

Besides this, she herself is not needlessly cruel.

She does not typically pick on those who are already down, she has a rudimentary sense of justice.

She enjoys that her power can inflict harm even to the best of those around her[...]

I've cut these few sentences out for a reason, to remove some of the filler and to highlight that the personality you've written for this character just doesn't add up. I understand that she is supposed to come off as unstable, but there doesnt seem to be a method to her madness.

She doesn’t remember when or why she first used her powers, but she demonstrated her ability to freeze water so that she would be able to go to the Promise.

This mistake could be from a variety of things, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and go off of the idea that it was because I didn't highlight it enough in the original post. When a person is invited to The Promise, it is because they were either selected in a random lottery draw, or because they are criminal and The Promise is the last thing between them and being shot into the sun. I would also like to state that as a metahuman, she would be in an Academy program pretty much since she was old enough to walk and talk.

VILE CORRUPTION: Jayne is able to greatly increase the cruelty, maliciousness and generally aggressiveness of wounded target. As long as the target has felt pain, or emotional trauma, within the last few minutes, she can sway their mood deeply into the negative. An example would be someone who has just cut their hand chopping vegetables: or someone who has just been laughed at by bullies. These susceptible targets can then be invited to cause destruction in what they suddenly feel is an entirely justifiable act: like throwing their knife at the floor, or kicking one of the bullies in the stomach. Jayne physically gains strength and stamina by corrupting others, and recharges her Frost Blight.

Okay, this is just something I would like to extend to you as someone who has seen powers with the same underlying idea as this one of affecting others.

I would highly recommend rewriting this portion of her power. The cryokinesis is okay, but this is going to be extremely hard to pull off and the reason for this is because it depends solely on everyone else to take her ability into account. I have faith that everyone I've accepted thus far would be capable of doing it- but to what degree? Everyone has a different idea of what affects who and how much. As a result, I cannot accept this power due to an impossible to control lack of consistency. I'm sorry to have to do that- because I love the idea, but the execution of the power will have to change for it to work in a group project. If you want to her gain strength and stamina based upon other people's emotions, we can roll with that, buy you'll have to let me know what her maximum potential is.

While the Cultists Frost Contagion is regulated by the scientists aboard the promise, she possesses the discreetly dangerous emotion altering ability in total secrecy.

No dice. Every ability in this universe can be picked up- as it produces a form of energy in one way or another.

Overall, the character is okay, but I cant accept it for the aforementioned reasons. I would also like to extend to you that your character is lacking in a large variety of areas where I would like to see more as a result of her persona. I understand the Scarlett Witch motif you're going for, but why all the tattoos? Why does she enjoy having power over others so much? She doesn't seem to have a dark history, so what's up my dude? She seems a little extra, for a lack of better word. I would also like to extend to you the idea that your character can be edgy and outgoing if you play it right. I'm going to be posting an Alpha-female type character if we get enough male characters, and I think that she's believable. Your character in her current form is very much a lone wolf. In an interaction heavy RP, that can be really boring to write. I know because I'm speaking from experience.

Thank you for submitting this character, because it's a learning experience for me as well. This is my first time GMing, and seeing areas where I can improve other's understanding can make other's lives easier in the future.

PM me and @SepticGentleman with any questions, and a fixed sheet if you're still interested. We'll work the details out from there, and she'll be accepted next time you post her if I can do anything about it.

Oh, an on a final note, I made this for humors sake.

Ayy lmao

[Hippocamp]

@JunkMail Since she wouldn't be able to keep the Corruption a secret, I will have to go with something else. I wasn't thinking of using her Corruption power on anyone else in the RP, only NPCs, and it would only enable her to keep on using her cryokinesis and feeling good in general. Sorry her personality didn't add up, I tried to make her method "using her power not on the weak, but on those who think they have a sense of superiority or who she feels like knocking down a peg". Your finishing note on your post did make me lul! If I change her history or message you about it, do you think she would be accepted? I don't mind coming up with something else. You seem like genuinely good GM for your first time, I think your criticisms are fair.

[JunkMail]

@Hippocamp

No problem dude- I was kinda buying what you were selling, and I appreciate the compliment.

I think that your character can and definitely will get accepted in the near future. Just shoot me what you think is good and we'll go into a think tank together. I think you have the right ideas as it is, so I'm willing to bet you wont need much guidance from my end.

Shoot me and Septic a PM with any ideas you have and we'll be happy to go at it.

[Maxx]

@JunkMail Not all heroes wear capes, but wrapping toilet paper around your neck like a scarf and calling yourself "Toilet Man" does not, in fact, make you a hero. It makes you a stalker. Please leave my house.

[JunkMail]

@JunkMail Not all heroes wear capes, but wrapping toilet paper around your neck like a scarf and calling yourself "Toilet Man" does not, in fact, make you a hero. It makes you a stalker. Please leave my house.

@Maxx

Screencapped.

[Maxx]

@JunkMailIt's not a joke. Please leave. Someone send help.