[OOC] Naruto : Gobigakure no Sato

[The Mad Hatter]

I am...extremely conflicted on if I want to join or not.

@LordVoldemort

Oh? Why's that?

[NobodiesHero]

@The Mad Hatter Fixed the typo, thanks for pointing it out. Sometimes my brain gets ahead of my fingers when I write and I accidentally leave words out.

Changed Shadow Clone to regular Clone because I forgot that it was a forbidden techinique since Naruto uses it so much and I can't think of a good reason why someone like him would have it. I also bumped up the number of clones by one to make up for it.

Added in the Japanese name for Reflect. Thanks for that too. Not even trying to find the Japanese version of the spell from Final Fantasy helped me find the word I was looking for.

[LordVoldemort]

<Snipped quote by LordVoldemort>

Oh? Why's that?

@The Mad Hatter

I really want to join it because it's Naruto. On the other hand, Naruto Rps don't tend to stay alive long...

[The Mad Hatter]

<Snipped quote by The Mad Hatter>

I really want to join it because it's Naruto. On the other hand, Naruto Rps don't tend to stay alive long...

@LordVoldemort

Ah, yes. I usually have the same problem. GMs vanishing, players dropping like flies till no ones left, one player causing irreparable damage to the world.
I can't assure you that someone won't kill it somehow, but I can assure you that I'll do everything in my power to keep it alive. Even if everyone else drops and leaves just me and Halvtand playing with each other until someone else comes along, that's what I'm willing to do.

Where nothing ventures, nothing is gained. It's up to you, though.

[LordVoldemort]

<Snipped quote by LordVoldemort>

Ah, yes. I usually have the same problem. GMs vanishing, players dropping like flies till no ones left, one player causing irreparable damage to the world.
I can't assure you that someone won't kill it somehow, but I can assure you that I'll do everything in my power to keep it alive. Even if everyone else drops and leaves just me and Halvtand playing with each other until someone else comes along, that's what I'm willing to do.

Where nothing ventures, nothing is gained. It's up to you, though.

@The Mad Hatter

Alright. I guess I could give it a shot. I have a question, though; how many paragraphs or so are expected from this Rp? I'm not exactly a heavy writer, but I can pull off a paragraph or two depending on what's happening ICly.

[The Mad Hatter]

<Snipped quote by The Mad Hatter>

Alright. I guess I could give it a shot. I have a question, though; how many paragraphs or so are expected from this Rp? I'm not exactly a heavy writer, but I can pull off a paragraph or two depending on what's happening ICly.

@LordVoldemort

Nice.
We're expecting a couple of paragraphs, but the quantity of text doesn't really matter as much as the quality. If you, once in a while, cannot manage more than a single paragraph, that would be okay, as long as you have a satisfactory amount of detail in there. I get that it can be hard to write a whole damn wall of text as response to someone asking "How was your day" or some shit like that. We just expect that you really pour your character into your posts.

[LordVoldemort]

<Snipped quote by LordVoldemort>

Nice.
We're expecting a couple of paragraphs, but the quantity of text doesn't really matter as much as the quality. If you, once in a while, cannot manage more than a single paragraph, that would be okay, as long as you have a satisfactory amount of detail in there. I get that it can be hard to write a whole damn wall of text as response to someone asking "How was your day" or some shit like that. We just expect that you really pour your character into your posts.

@The Mad Hatter

Alright. I'll try and cook up a character and see what I can do. You alright with an Uchiha, provide I give a good explanation for why they're there in the first place?

[The Mad Hatter]

<Snipped quote by The Mad Hatter>

Alright. I'll try and cook up a character and see what I can do. You alright with an Uchiha, provide I give a good explanation for why they're there in the first place?

@LordVoldemort

Yes, that's fine.

[LordVoldemort]

<Snipped quote by LordVoldemort>

Yes, that's fine.

@The Mad Hatter

As a side-note, do we have to start as Chunin?

[Halvtand]

As a side-note, do we have to start as Chunin?

@LordVoldemort

No. But it would help if your character is somewhat on the same wavelength as the other characters. Most will be around chuunin level (it is a very rough estimate), so going full Madara or retard-Naruto could be frowned upon. As per the canon, one can be a genin and still be on the level of chuunin. The rank of jounin is off-limits however as it could create a power-struggle in the village that we don't want.

[LordVoldemort]

<Snipped quote by LordVoldemort>

No. But it would help if your character is somewhat on the same wavelength as the other characters. Most will be around chuunin level (it is a very rough estimate), so going full Madara or retard-Naruto could be frowned upon. As per the canon, one can be a genin and still be on the level of chuunin. The rank of jounin is off-limits however as it could create a power-struggle in the village that we don't want.

@Halvtand

Right. I was actually looking to be a little bit lower than Chunin and not above it. I like to have a lower rank in things because I think it gives more room for development.

[The Mad Hatter]

@LordVoldemort
I love you

@NobodiesHero

Natsu review

For your custom technique, we'd like there to be a condition, because as it is right now it is very strong. We'd settle for a condition that tied its rank to the rank of the technique it wishes to deflect. Now it's C, so it can only do it to C-rank (or below).
Also, should probably be ninjutsu instead of kekkaijutsu. Nevermind that brainfart.

@BladeSS4

Tashiro review

Your characters history is sort of a mess. There are a lot of things that don't really make sense and we really need for you to explain. Like:
Why did his mother leave?
Why was he avoided when he discovered his KG, instead of celebrated (which would make more sense, especially in a time where lots and lots of ninja just died and they needed some firepower back)?
What happened to his father?
How did he find his mother and where?
How did he find Gobi?
Why did he decide to settle there?

About your techniques:
First off, we dig the kenjutsu. Starting with a compliment
Now, about your custom technique – could you bump it down so it's one blow/slash, rather than 3 seconds? Other than that, it's all good.
For the Laser Circus technique, we have to say no. That technique is so OP that it hurts my (nonexistent 'cause I'm ginger) soul. We discussed nerfing it so you could maybe just use one beam, but even then it's iffy.

[Halvtand]

Sorry for not being too in-depth about this. I have a lot to do today and should probably not even put this much time into the RP at this second, but I wanted to give you guys something to work with.

@NobodiesHero
Over all good character, the hat has pointed out some things. I've looked at your custom technique and I like it. I would however like to add a restriction to it, one that deals with strength. Currently your jutsu is rank C, so I'd like it if it can only deflect techniques of that rank (or lower). As you practice it will get stronger.

@BladeSS4
You have a good concept going, but the character in itself needs some more time put into it. For one you need to put some explanations into your background. Right now it is full of stuff that happens, but we don't know how or why. Example questions: Why did his mother leave? Why was he avoided after discovering the KG? What happened to his father? How did he find Gobi? Why did he stay?
Keep in mind that Sasuke was also discovered to possess two chakra natures and a KG as a genin, he was cheered.

The custom technique. I like the basic sound of it, and you've done a pretty good job of balancing it. I would however like to restrict it even further to make sure that it won't become a "And so I killed everyone"-technique. The restriction is really simple, just bump the 3 sec time limit down to one strike.

Ranton/storm release. Let's just get one thing out of the way. Canon Ranton is strong as shit. It has been unfairly portrayed, since we only started to see it during the war and performed by some of the strongest ninjas in the world. This means that the only techniques we've seen are probably the strongest ones in the element's library.
With this in mind I can't really get behind a chuunin knowing some of the techniques that you've chosen. Laser circus was performed by one of hidden cloud's best people, and Water Lightning Dragon Bullet by two kages in collaboration.
Like I said, the element has been unfairly portrayed and it's not your fault in any way. If these techniques could be reworked, scaled back to a B-rank or something like that, I would not be opposed to the thought of a chuunin with the storm element.

Also, hat beat me to it. Busted, we talk about this shit.

[BladeSS4]

I think I fixed most of the problems you had with it. The history could still use more beefing up I will admit that. As for the Jutsu, I think I fixed the format of them. Unless you want me to go and break down each of the canon jutsu into the same format as the custom one. Let me know if there is anything else or what more I have to do to make the Character sheet acceptable.

Edit- I'll bump the Jutsu down a bit and remove the laser circus, and the dragon bullet. Had trouble finding actual canon Jutsu for the Storm Release.
Edit Again- Ok now I think I have things fixed. Beefed up the history more explained what happened to his father and why he decided to stay in the Village of the End.
Edit 3- Moving the character sheet here after editing the bits of his mother and why he was treated the way he was even when he should have been celebrated for his abilities.

Character Sheet

General Info

Name: Hokori Tashiro

Nickname/Alias: The Gale/Storm swordsmen

Gender: Male

Age: 16

Age Appearance: 16

Sexuality: Straight

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Loyalty

Village: Hidden Village of the End Gobigakure

Birthplace: Village Hidden in the clouds, Kumogakure

Organization:
(Where does your character's loyalty lie?)

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Ninja Information

Clan/Bloodline: Gale/Storm KG

Rank: Chuunin

Chakra Nature: Storm or Water/Lightning Natures
(What element does your character's chakra have?)

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Appearance

Body Type and Shape: Atheletic, a bit rather scraney but muscular.

Height: 6'0, 182cm
Weight:: 205 pounds, 92kgs
Hair Color: Red
Hair Style: Long hair, from the back and front. With long bangs that somewhat cover part of his face.

Eye Color: Brown
Clothing: Long black like trench coat that's tattered up at the bottom of the coat. Mostly black clothes in general, grey top/shirt underneath the coat. Charcoal grey pants. sandal like shoes and wears black gloves.

Appearance pic reference

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Biography

Background:
Tashiro was born within the hidden cloud village. At a young age he got brought up under the art of Kenjutsu. At four years old he was given a wooden sword and was to learn how to use it. His father Jin Hokori was a strict man, many believed him was a rogue samurai that fled and joined the hidden cloud village. Those are just false rumors as he is just really good with a sword. Raised with by his father Jin after his mother Ari Hokori left them and left the hidden cloud village. His mother left the Cloud village to seek out and help the world. She was a doctor of sorts possessed knowledge of how to heal people. How to make medicines, and heal with Ninjutsu

For six years Tashiro learned how to use the sword, while undertaking studies to become a shinobi for the hidden cloud. For six years he sparred nearly day in and day out with his father. Most of his time he spent being beaten up by a sword and being criticized by his father each time he was hit by a wooden sword. During his tenth birthday he managed to score a single blow with his wooden sword when sparing with his father. A very light glancing blow but yet enough for his father to give him a real sword as he felt it was time. One year later at eleven years old Tashiro became a Genin.

At eleven years old a special trait emerged an anomaly or mutation. He started to show signs of possessing two chakra natures even the rare Kekkai Genkai, of the storm or gale release. When his Kekkai Genkai emerging he nearly killed a fellow Genin during a practice routine. With that many people started to be wary of him. As a Genin he found himself alone even some of his peers started to leave him alone. He was an outcast without actually becoming an outcast. Many thought he couldn't control his power and any one around him would be in danger if they got too close to him.

Eventually he became a Chuunin he was fifteen years old his father died the same day he became a Chuunin. Jin Hokori died during a mission for the cloud. His father being a 'special' jounin was out on a escort mission to escort a caravan He was killed by several Rogue ninja who attacked the Caravan. Jin didn't let a single rogue ninja touch the Caravan, even defeated the ninja not before taking a lot of damage along with being poisoned. He died before going back to the Hidden Cloud

Having not ties to the cloud left he felt more alone. During is days as a Chuunin he was often sent out on scouting missions and assassinations. Often enough he hunted down rogue ninjas similar to the ones who killed his father. Eventually he ended up killing the leader of the rogue ninjas, a low ranked ninja that just had a lot of money.

Eventually he decided to just leave. He ended up joining the Village of the end. Gobigakure. At the same time finding his mother on the way. His mother Ari Hokori left the village and ended up in the Village Hidden in the End. Leaving the Cloud village was easy in fact he was originally suppose to be sent on a mission to the village of the end on a scouting mission. Rather then complete the mission he defected into the village. Tashiro only found the his mother once he made it to the village.

Ari had made her way to Gobigakure unlike the most of the Cloud Village she wanted to help them, and decided to offer who skills as a doctor for the village. His reasons for going to Gobigakure and staying were because of his mother. She was his only family left so he left the Cloud to the End for this reason.

Today:
Today, Tashiro lives within Gobigakure, with his mother who left him and his father when he was really young. He left the cloud village a year ago, going to a place where he is seen differently still for being different. Overall he feels happy with his family, even though he doesn't really know is mother. Also he feels like this could be a new start for him he can help this become his home

.

Personality:
Tashiro has a rather guarded personality. He is friendly and does try to get to know someone. If they don't look at him and judge him for his special traits then he will open up and be himself. He is a rather talkative person. Very kind and will lay down his life for his friend when they are in danger. If it is the other way and he is treated with distrust him or treat him as a 'freak'. He then keeps to himself. He shows that he doesn't care for them even if they are someone he has to protect.

Tashiro likes to cook surprisingly. It is one of those things, if he wasn't a shinobi he would be a cook or chef. He likes to eat many kinds of different food then attempt to make it himself, or tries to just make something up. Things that he hates, Tashiro hates snakes and spiders.

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Special Traits

-Storm Release
- Kenjutsu user/swordsmen
- Decent cook

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Equipment
-Black Steel Chakra sword
- 6Throwing daggers
- 6 Smoke bombs
- 6 Paper bombs
- Three rolls of wire.
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Jutsu:

Ninjutsu:

A-Rank
N/A
B-Rank
Water Style: Water Dragon Jutsu

C-Rank
Cloud-Style: Deception Slice
Cloud Style: Back Slice
Cloud Style: Front Slice
Custom
Jutsu

Name: Gale Release- Laser Sword

Classification
(Hiden, medical, doujutsu, kinjutsu, ect.)
Rank: B to A

Effect: Technique infuses the power of lighting and water into Tashiro's sword boosting its destructive power. The ability uses a rather large amount of chakra per second. The sword gets coated in a blue water lighting mixture. The water moving across the edge of the blade at blinding speeds increasing the cutting power, and enhanced by lighting. The attack can only be used for about one single strike at a time before using up the chakra used to create the blade. After one strike the attack begins to fade back into plain water
The attack is used at quick bursts of raw gale/storm power. The attack makes a loud thunderous roar as it is activated.

Drawback:The huge draw back is the attack can only be currently used only once every thirty minutes. Over usage can damage the jutsu user causing burns around the hands that has to hold onto the sword.
Kenjutsu. It also has high usage of chakra leaving the user drained after each use.

Taijutsu:
N/A

Genjutsu:
N/A

[The Mad Hatter]

@BladeSS4
Yeah, he seems good now. Congrats on having our first Accepted character You are free to move him to the Character Tab.

I do want to make it clear to you that we expect a bit more depth when it comes to your posts, than what you have shown in the CS.

[BladeSS4]

@The Mad Hatter
Yeah I figured as much, when it comes to in character posts. I'm a bit better when it comes to making an posts that don't deal with Character sheets.

Now the Kenjutsu Storm user is ready. It's going to be interesting to see how he can be used within this small village.

[The Mad Hatter]

I made a Discord, despite the fact that I loathe it with passion, so I won't accidentially clutter the OOC with ranting about how awesome my little Haru-chan is.

[LordVoldemort]

This is currently a WIP. I have to go over to the County Office to do something, so I'll be back to write more on it later. Tell me what you think/any criticisms so far.

EDIT: I know there are some things in there that could use some explaining; I'll make sure to get to it when I've returned, no worries!

Uchiha Koichi

General Info

Name:
Uchiha Koichi

Nickname/Alias:
Farmers-Boy

Gender:
Male

Age:
19

Age Appearance:
18

Sexuality:
Bisexual(?)/Unknown, really. He hasn't really put any thought into romance or sexuality, since it was never too important for him.

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Loyalty

Village:
Gobigakure no Sato/The Village Hidden at the End

Birthplace:
Unknown; assumed to have been born during his parents journey to Gobigakure no Sato

Organization:
Gobigakure no Sato/The Village Hidden at the End and Kumogakure/Village Hidden by Clouds (He has a bit of a fascination of shinobi from Kumogakure)

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Ninja Information

Clan/Bloodline:
Uchiha Clan; Kekkei Genkai consist of the Sharingan and Mangekyo Sharingan. However, he does not possess either of these abilities, 'nor has any knowledge of them.

Rank:
Genin...technically. He hasn't really been on a mission or taken any formal education, but he has learned how to control his chakra and use jutsu from his father.

Chakra Nature:
Fire and Wind/Katon an Fuuton

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Appearance


Body Type and Shape:
Although not exactly a 'muscular' guy, Koichi has been noticeably toned from years of working as a farmhand for his parents. His shape is relatively thin, but not enough to really make him look feminine.

Height:
6'1" Ft. (185 Cm.)

Weight:
176 Ibs. (80 Kg.)

Hair Color:
Chestnut/Black

Hair Style:
Koichi's hair is extremely unkempt and shaggy, to the point where he usually wears and headband to keep his bangs out of his face. He has added a ponytail to give his hair a bit of a style to it.

Eye Color:
Amber

Clothing:
Koichi tends to wear typical commoner's clothing, which consists of a robe with baggy sleeves and comfortable pants that he keeps tied with a piece of thick cloth. To go with his, Koichi has a pair of sandals that his mother made specially for him. Despite the advantage of other footwear, Koichi prefers to wear his hand-crafted and made with love sandals.

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Biography

Background:
Koichi was never told of the details of his birth, other than that he was born during his parents journey to Gobigakure. When the Second Shinobi World War was under-way, his parents had fled the country due to having an anti-war sentimentality. As shinobi and Uchiha, they were expected to serve Konohagakure. With the threat of being branded as traitors, Koichi's parents packed what they could and left as quickly as they could. Of course, this was easier said than done. With war comes inhumane deeds; struggling to survive against robbers, rogue ninja, and even shinobi from Konoha that sought to bring them back. Along the way, his mother had given birth to him at a resting area. Luckily for his mother and himself, Medical-nin from Kumogakure were able to provide aid and make sure his delivery was safe. Hearing of a village that was kept safe and hidden by a barricade made by doton-users, his parents soon made their way to it so they could begin a new life.

As Koichi grew, his father began a small farm in order to help the village and earn a decent living...as well as to escape from the reality that he was a shinobi. At around the age of seven, Koichi began to assist on the farm; it was this time that their family had started to make a small name for themselves within the village. Growing up was easy enough for Koichi due to the helpful nature that he provided. For helping with odd-jobs when his father didn't need him for farming business, Koichi was able to give himself his own reputation as a kind and helping youth. This, combined with the strength and endurance he gained from hard labor, allowed Koichi to make even more money and find better jobs.

Eventually, a Chuunin from the village spoke to his father about the potential of his son becoming a shinobi, considering their bloodline. While he initially refused to allow his son to become a shinobi, his father was eventually forced to give in to the demands...on one condition; he taught his son. With that, Koichi began to learn the ways of becoming a shinobi, starting at the age of ten. While he initially started off his teachings with great efficiency, he began to struggle as he made his way into the higher levels of education. He wasn't a natural at all; in fact, he enjoyed the more 'normal' aspects of life, like fishing and farming. His father was frustrated by the slacking his son had and ever since, there seems to be no progress.

Today:
Koichi is currently going about his everyday life as a farmhand and job hunter within the village. He is contempt with his lifestyle, especially now that he knows how to defend himself with jutsu. However, he feels like there was something that he had forgotten....some kind of deal his father made.

Personality:
Koichi is your average young, working man; dedicated to his work and always trying to improve his trade. To some, Koichi seems to be rather plain man. However, looking harder at the boy reveals an air of potential, as if he could do so much more than what he could now. In fact, some people have stated that his gaze seemed to show a yearning for more than just working as a regular villager. While not necessarily courageous, Koichi is known for being able to stick to his guns during conflict. Perhaps one of the most noticeable things about Koichi is that he seems to be a little absent-minded when left to his own devices. Another quality, which is a huge subject of teasing, is his easily flustered attitude when faced with gratitude, flirting, praise, and embarrassing subjects.

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Special Traits

Hard Worker
Unsurprisingly, Koichi's time as a farmhand and a job hunter has shaped him into a hard worker. While most might feel satisfied reaching a certain level, Koichi never appears happy until he has successfully reached his major goal. Every step is just one of many to him - stopping will only make the climb longer.

Hidden Potential, Terrible Control
Like many Uchiha, Koichi has the potential to become a powerful shinobi. The problem being is that he was never raised with the mindset of being one. All of his time being a regular worker has stunted his development and only makes his potential harder to reach. While he can perform jutsu with ease, there seems to be a sloppiness to it. Perhaps with time and a strong enough dedication, Koichi can become a powerful shinobi...perhaps.

Brawler
Koichi, despite not being all that excellent at the use of jutsu, has shown excellent progress in taijutsu and kenjutsu. In fact, it's almost astonishing that he was able to learn how to use both forms of fighting so quickly. His skills are considered to be inherited from his bloodline and not of his own natural ability.

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Equipment

Kunai Pouch
Koichi, as instructed by his father, usually carries a small pouch with slots for easy access to kunai. While he's never had to use it before, it's always nice to carry it around. Koichi tends to wear it on his wrist from underneath his baggy clothing.

Ninjato
Koichi carries around a ninjato on his lower back. It was originally used by his father and later passed down to him when he began his training.
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Jutsu:

Ninjutsu:
Fire Release: Phoenix Sage Fire Technique (http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Fire_Release%3A_Phoenix_Sage_Fire_Technique)

Fire Release: Great Fireball Technique (http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Fire_Release%3A_Great_Fireball_Technique)

Wind Release: Great Breakthrough (http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Wind_Release%3A_Great_Breakthrough)

Uchiha Style: Dance of the Sun Halo (http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Uchiha_Style:_Dance_of_the_Sun_Halo)

Taijutsu:
None; Koichi, despite being skilled with Taijutsu and Kenjutsu, doesn't appear to know any noteworthy techniques other than simply brawling normally.

Genjutsu:
None

[The Mad Hatter]

@LordVoldemort
I don't see anything wrong with him so far, other than the fact that he is, like the others were, underweight. Normal weight for a guy of his height would be around 170 pounds (77kg) so since he's "toned", I'd bump his weight up to 176lbs/80kg for realism.

[LordVoldemort]

@The Mad Hatter
Alright, I'll get to work on it and fix it up when I get back from the County Office.