[IC] Be my Sanctuary

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

As that glimmer of gladness eased Roxy's stress, even if just by a tiny amount, Jess gave a sigh of relief. The motorcycle servicing would be a help to the anchor, not a hindrance. She needed to break the habit of assuming the worst, but that wasn't easy when in some cases, the worst was a likely possibility.

"We'll let you know as soon as it's finished," she told the biker, smiling up once she'd taken his details. Acting polite now wouldn't make up for having been rude earlier, however unintentionally, but all she could do was try to salvage the situation at least somewhat.

As Roxy busied herself, so did Jess, replying to emails and booking appointments. Both of them had things to take their minds off events for now, but they'd have to address what was going on before long. The thought cast its shadow over the empath no matter how she occupied herself with office duties.

She'd ask at lunchtime, she decided. That secondhand sense of dread, of bracing for a daunting task, told her there was no ignoring this.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy tried to figure out how to approach the subject of going to visit her father. Jess would know that she didn't want to go. She had no idea how to convince the empath that it wasn't the worst idea ever. Especially when she thought it was one of the worst things they could possibly do. But there was no way around this. They had to go. It was expected. Not doing it will draw attention. She didn't need or want any more attention.

She had the bike stripped and cleaned by lunch time. She decided to stop for lunch. She could put the bike back together after lunch. She cleaned up. "We should get some lunch. Then I'll put the bike back together and you can call the customer." She debated how to bring up what was on her mind. She didn't know how to talk about something that she wanted to avoid. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Even as Roxy worked, Jess could feel worry and frustration eating away at her. The hours dragged by all too slowly. When the clock on the computer finally reached twelve, the empath put away the notebook and switched off the monitor, knowing this lunchtime wouldn't be a relaxing one. Not just because of the watchers, but because of the subject she knew had to be addressed.

It turned out she was right. Even so, when Roxy approached, her confirming words made Jess' insides squirm. At first, she remained silent, as reluctant as Roxy to discuss the matter. With a deep breath, she forced herself to do so. "I figured," she admitted. "This, well... It felt like something that couldn't be ignored." She paused, stomach clenching. "What did he say? What does he want?"

[KatherinWinter]

"What he wants isn't important. He is never ever going to get it." Roxy growled as she made her way to the cafe. She got the same thing every time so it was the easiest place to go. She knew what Harward wanted. He had made no secret of that. Luckily he was low level scum and her father would never allow him to cross that line but that wouldn't stop the man from toeing it every chance he had.

"What he said was that my father wants us to spend the weekend with him since we spent one with your mom." The only good thing that might come from it was that her father would see that Jess was fragile and he needed to pull back a little if he didn't wish to break the empath. But he would also see that she had failed and continued to fail to protect the empath. Which would cost her. Her father didn't believe in failure for any reason.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Trailing behind Roxy, Jess winced. It wasn't difficult to guess what the creep wanted, but that wasn't the subject she'd meant to address. Not that any subject related to the shady goings-on would be comfortable to discuss.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean..." she babbled, before lapsing into silence. She gazed down at the concrete, then stared back up as Roxy dropped the bombshell. Her father. The same man who'd made the call that had changed everything. The same man who stirred up a turmoil of fear and rage in the anchor. The same man who kept close watch over a daughter who wanted nothing to do with him.

And Roxy would have to face him again, all because of her.

"He..." Jess shook her head. "He can't use that as an excuse! I wanted to see my mom. You don't want to see your dad." Understatement of the year, she thought. "But there's no avoiding this, is there? You said he's used to getting his way."

And there it was. She'd let on that she'd figured out the boss' identity. That much had been clear, no matter how much Roxy had tried to hide.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy opened the door to the shop. She snorted when Jess said that her father couldn't do that. Little did the empath know that her father could and would do whatever the hell he wanted. "You are so innocent Jess. It amazes me that people like you exist. I'm sorry you got drug into my world." There was no denying that she hated her father or he was the asshole watching their every move. She didn't bother. The darker side of her life she would have hidden if some entitled asshole hadn't given it away.

"There is no way to avoid this without causing more problems. You don't have to worry Jess. He wants to win you to his side so he will be on his best behavior while your around." Which worried her. Jess might feel her emotions but that didn't mean she would understand them. Even knowing that she knew about her father didn't mean Jess would understand just how dangerous the water they were treading was. Roxy honestly thought it was better that way.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"No, no there's no need to be sorry," Jess told Roxy as she followed her into the shop, where the watchers would certainly be. "I'm sorry I got you even more caught up in that world." Maybe they should have accepted right from the start that, despite being an empath and an anchor, being matched up would lead nowhere good. Maybe she really should have stayed a little longer in isolation until someone else could be found. Having been all too aware of Roxy's reluctance, that responsibility had been hers.

When Roxy mentioned what her father planned to do - win her to his side - Jess' eyes widened. "I won't..." she started. She wanted to say she wouldn't let him do that, but realisation silenced her. If she didn't go along with whatever he wanted, Roxy would be likely to suffer for it. Neither of them could escape his control.

"I won't cause any trouble," Jess finally said. "At least, I'll try my best not to."

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy shrugged as she placed her order. This had always been her world. Sure until she was sixteen she had been a willing participate in that world. She had been young and not completely aware of what she was involved with. She knew that wasn't an excuse. She wouldn't try to use it as one. She had done things she had known she were wrong. She couldn't say she regretted many of her actions but she didn't want to be that person anymore.

She paid for their food and headed out of the cafe before she continuing their conversation. "I don't want you to do anything you will regret Jess. I don't want you to do anything because you think it will make this situation better. I guarantee that if you do something you don't want to do it will only make things worse. Just try to what feels right for you. Don't worry about me or him. If you do it will only make things worse for one of us."

She doubt she was making any sense which only pissed her off. "Just forget it." She growled before storming into the shop. Jess doing what her father wanted would make her feel guilty and probably cause Jess all kinds of problems. She didn't want to be responsible for the empath taking the dark road. She could handle the darkness there was no need for Jess to do so too.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess chose only a slice of quiche, but in truth she didn't care what she ate. As she listened to Roxy on the way back, her fingers tightened around her bag of food. What she'd nearly said, it seemed, had been obvious.

This time, she expressed her thoughts. "Look... Don't worry," she replied, her voice nearly a whisper. "I won't agree to anything that's... that's wrong." She paused, shuddering as she imagined the kind of murky underworld the man would try to drag both of them into. Whatever it was, it would most likely turn out even worse than she thought.

Entering the shop, she frowned. "It's just... Please be honest." All those times he and his underlings had flooded Roxy with terror replayed through her mind as she spoke. "If I upset him, what will happen to you?"

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy glared at Jess. "What part of don't let me influence your decision didn't you not understand?" She hadn't said that exactly but that's what she had been trying to say. "I don't want to be responsible for you choosing or not choosing what you do. You have to live with the consequences of your actions. That should be the only deciding factor. How it affects me shouldn't play a role in what you decide. I can handle whatever happens."

She wanted Jess to decide on her own. Until the empath did she wouldn't know how best to protect them. If the empath accepted her father's offer, which he wouldn't do until Jess' strength proved useful to him, then Roxy coUld focus on protecting the empath while disengaging herself from the world she hated. If the empath decided to decline her father's offer she could focus on defending the empath from her father's attack. He would push until he won or they proved them equal to him. She wanted to keep as close to the status quo of her agreement with her father until she knew what Jess wanted so she didn't force the empath into a place where she wasn't comfortable.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess was silent as she headed towards the stairs. Don't worry about me, the anchor had said, and she'd gone and ignored that, but was there any way to avoid worrying? Especially when, by refusing to say whether something bad could happen, Roxy had all but done so? Sighing, Jess turned her head to meet that glare again.

"I-I know you want me to choose, but..." She clenched her fists, the brown paper crumpling in her hand. Did Roxy really consider herself that unimportant? "How can it not play a part at all? You're only having to deal with all this because of me."

Knowing an outburst was one of the least likely things to improve the situation, she breathed deeply. Maybe she was letting the anchor's emotions overwhelm her along with her own. "Ugh. Sorry. I'll just... I'll just make sure things don't get worse," she continued. Of course, until she met Roxy's father, she couldn't know how to stop everything spiralling further out of control, if there was even a way. "And this is going to be my choice."

[KatherinWinter]

"Yes. I want you to chose. Jess because you have to live with the consequences of your actions. I don't want you to regret doing something. Nor do I want to feel responsible because you end up doing something you regret." Roxy stormed to the fridge she jerked the door open. "Yes I will have to deal with some of the consequences but no more than I would have had to deal with in a different situation." She explained. She didn't want to go into detail but she supposed that she owed Jess an explanation of some sort.

She leaned against the counter. "Look you are taking way too much blame for this situation. This crap isn't happening because your here. It would have happened one way or another. My father has been looking for a way to get me back into the business. He would have found something eventually. You need to stop feeling like you caused this because you didn't."

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"I'm s-" Hurrying up the stairs, Jess bit back an apology after Roxy confirmed one thing she'd been worried about - that she'd feel responsible. She took a plate and sat down at the table, knowing this would be yet another less than enjoyable lunch. This seemed a world away from the weekend, which despite the few issues, had been a welcome break. The empath hadn't imagined it would lead to this.

She raised her head as Roxy leaned against the counter, listening to her explain that it wasn't her fault. Jess sighed, her face no less solemn. Whether or not she was to blame, that didn't change the fact that she couldn't see a way to help. "Even so..." she replied. "Let's uh... Let's do our best to support each other through this. If that's what you want, that is. In any case, I'll make my own decision."

Going by what Roxy had said, the man seemed to have them cornered whatever they did - but if the anchor had gotten out once, maybe there was a way to do so again?

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy nodded. She had no idea how to support the empath. She had been alone most of her life. She had been raised independent. It was going to be a learning process and she had never been a quick learner. She would do her best though. It was all she could do. She had to find a way to life with Jess in her life. The empath would always be a part of her life no matter what. "That's good. I'll tell him we will be up this weekend than."

There was no point in putting it off. The sooner they went they sooner they could put it behind them. She turned her attention to her meal. She wasn't really hungry but she had learned long ago to eat when she had the opportunity. You never knew when it would come again. She still had a lot of work to do to catch up on the work from the weekend away. Not to mention she needed to try to get ahead for the next weekend away.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

With a nod, Jess picked at her own meal. By the time she managed to properly eat, the quiche had gone cold. The air was a haze of uncertainty. Jess didn't want to think what could happen over the weekend. Just meeting the man would be bad enough, and much, much worse for Roxy.

The empath was almost glad when the time came to get back to work. Sticking the plate and cutlery in the dishwasher, she glanced over her shoulder at the clock. Soon they'd have something to focus on - that was, if they could focus at all. "Well, I guess we'd better head back down," she said, making her way towards the steps. "At least that's a distraction for now."

She and Roxy had several days of catching up on work ahead of them, but she had a feeling they'd seem to go by all too fast.

[KatherinWinter]

The next couple of days were pretty much the same. Roxy worked while Jess handled the paperwork. Harold didn't stop by again. Which was a good thing. She would have had to hurt him if he had. They were able to build some kind of routine. It wasn't much but it helped some. She didn't feel like Jess was intruding as much and she hoped that the empath was adapting as well. She didn't know how the appointment with the counselor would go. All she could do was hope it helped.

She woke up early on Wednesday. She had had horrible nightmare so she hadn't slept well. She took a hot shower before getting dressed and going out to her practice area. She went to work on the bag trying to get the worst of it out of her system before they had to start the day.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess didn't sleep much better than Roxy. She kept waking drenched in cold sweat, heart racing, even if she couldn't remember what she'd dreamed about. Of course, she knew all too well why that was. It wasn't her own panic jolting her awake, but Roxy's. The weekend was drawing ever closer, the middle of the week already here.

Which meant, Jess thought as she dragged herself out of bed, the first counselling session. As if a simple talk with a stranger would help with something like this. She knew deep down there were things she needed to work through... her father's death, the guilt of having stressed her mother, readjusting to society. How selfish would it be, though, to discuss her own problems while Roxy couldn't express hers?

While getting ready, she considered the matter. Maybe the main thing to focus on was learning to live together, which they already seemed to be making progress with.

She could feel that pent-up tension slowly ease as she headed into the main room, where Roxy channeled her frustration into a workout. "Hey, morning," Jess greeted the anchor as she put some sliced bread in the toaster and switched the kettle on, taking two mugs from the cupboard. It seemed they both needed coffee.

With a sigh, she leaned against the counter. "Let's hope today's at least some help..."

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy called a cab for them. She wasn't looking forward to another trip in a cab but it was the only way to the meeting. She had no idea if this would help or not but she figured it couldn't hurt. Hopefully they would get something out of it. At this point she didn't have high expectations of anything. She just wanted to do the best she could to protect Jess. Not just from other people's emotions.

She worked out until the cab arrived. Then she changed into some clothes and headed down the stairs. Getting into the cab was hard but she managed to do it. She tried to decide what she could share and what she couldn't. While counselors were supposed to keep things confidential Roxy didn't believe that was possible. Things like had a way of being revealed. She hadn't worked this long to keep this shit hidden just to have it revealed accidentally.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

As soon as she followed Roxy into the cab, Jess' chest tightened. More panic than usual simmered in the air around the anchor, and the empath couldn't blame her. What if one of them let something slip, something the counsellor couldn't ignore? Jess knew from her mother about safeguarding procedures. If either of them said the wrong thing, this session could harm them more than it helped.

The journey didn't take long, which would normally be a relief, but this time the sense of dread spiked as the cab pulled up outside the building. The place was made to look as comforting as possible, with hedges in flower leading up to the doors, but that wasn't enough to put either Jess or Roxy at ease. In fact, as the empath entered and headed to the waiting room with Roxy, the atmosphere seemed to grow heavier. Jess swallowed down a lump in her throat, the pressure around her building to near unbearable levels. The burdens that others came here to lift, she figured, hunching in a seat.

"It'll be fine," she whispered to Roxy, wishing she could guarantee it. "We'll both be fine."

[KatherinWinter]

"Of course it will be." Roxy agreed as she opened the door to the office. She knew what to expect. She had been sent to counselors before. Mostly for her anger management issues. She knew how to give the counselor what she wanted to hear without revealing anything. Jess was the one who might reveal something and the empath didn't know enough to jeopardize them. Not yet anyway.

She made her way to the desk. She could tell that the secretary was nervous. The closer she got the more the woman fidgeted. It was kind of fully. Or it would have been normally. Today she didn't have the patience to play nice. "We're here to for our appointment." She tried to sound neutral but she didn't think that succeeded. The woman's eyes darted to Jess as if to ask if the empath was there of her own free will and not threat of violence.