[IC] Be my Sanctuary

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess winced at Roxy's tone, a reaction that probably didn't help matters. Even if not for the clear wave of concern from the secretary, the glance in her direction would have said it all. The empath closed her eyes. Less than a minute here, and someone had gotten the wrong idea already. What if this got reported as a warning sign? Even worse, considering who had recommended this service, what if this got back to her mom?

Standing up, Jess tried to remedy the situation. "Yeah, it's the empath-anchor adjustment session. Heh, seems we're a little early," she said with a glance at the wall clock. Once she'd told the secretary both their names, she signed the visitor sheet, her handwriting a scrawl from jittering as the woman's nervousness fed her own. Maybe this hadn't been the best way to solve the problem.

The secretary gave a tense nod. "Take a seat, Laura will be with you shortly," she told them. Jess trudged back to her seat, the minutes dragging by as she and Roxy waited. When a figure appeared in the doorway, a woman with curly grey hair and coral-toned clothing who radiated warmth, her smile lines deepened as her eyes settled on the two girls.

"Would you be Jessamyn and Roxy?" Laura asked. Her voice alone was the kind that could lighten burdens with its gentleness - or at least it would, if Jess and Roxy had any hope of offloading said burdens. Still, the fraught atmosphere seemed to calm ever so slightly in her presence. Nodding, Jess followed the woman to the cosy-looking office, set up like a living room. She was glad the pictures on the walls showed city scapes at sunset, instead of the nature scenes that were typically considered relaxing. Forests and other places of isolation weren't something she, or other adapting empaths, would want to look at.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Laura," the counsellor said, sitting down on an armchair as Jess took her place on the sofa. "I'm an anchor myself, and you say you were both recently matched. You wanted to talk about adjusting to the changes in your lives?"

A second anchor. So that explained the lull in the turmoil of emotions. "Yeah... I mean, we're getting there in some ways. There have been a few issues, though." Jess explained, shifting in her seat as she considered what to talk about first. She decided on something an anchor would understand. "We stick by each other's sides all the time, but some emotions are still getting in."

Hands in her lap, she paused to let Roxy speak. If nothing else, maybe counselling would help her stop blaming herself.

[KatherinWinter]

Anchor? That was unusual. Most therapists and counselors were empaths because they could feel the emotion of them from their patients which allowed them to understand what their patients were feeling when the patient couldn't express themselves or were trying to lying. Roxy wasn't sure what to feel like or think. She supposed in the end it didn't matter. It was still help Jess adjust to dealing with the world.

"Neither of us is used to sharing space or interacting." Roxy simplified the situation as much as possible. It wasn't possible or necessary for them to talk about her father and the problems he was causing. There was no solution that problem. She would find away to protect Jess. That was her job.

"It's understandable that you would struggle with connecting with someone. Especially when haven't done it in a long time. A lot of empaths struggle with having to deal with society because they haven't had to deal with other people. The longer an empath is in isolation the harder making connections is. That's why we try to match empaths as quickly as possible. Unfortunately that isnt always possible." Laura explained.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess hadn't expected an anchor as a counsellor, but that was a much-needed stroke of luck. An empath would surely pick up on things that couldn't be ignored, especially considering Roxy's difficulty hiding emotions. Plus, when she thought about it, it made sense - people like Laura could put struggling empaths like her at ease, and relate to other anchors. From what Jess had read, the troubles of anchors were often overlooked, simply because they weren't the isolated ones.

She nodded, backing up Roxy's brief and to-the-point statement, and listened to Laura's calming tone. "Nobody's to blame," she replied, recalling her mother's tireless efforts to get her matched. "But yeah... It's certainly different. Familiar yet different, if that makes sense." A weak smile accompanied her words.

"We're starting to connect better," she continued, "but, well, it's the first time in five years I've interacted with anyone face to face, and Roxy lived alone too until we were matched up." At once, she regretted that last part. Yes it was inevitable if any progress was to happen, but would Roxy take it as an insult, or be at a loss for an explanation? It wasn't as if she could mention why she kept a safe distance - or that it had turned out no amount of distance was safe enough.

Catching herself chewing the inside of her lip, Jess stopped and spoke up again. "This connection we're beginning to build... What's the best way to work on it?"

[KatherinWinter]

"There are lots of ways you can build on the connection you have. The question is what would work the best for the two of you." Laura explained. She considered what she knew. There were all kinds of activities that could help them get closer. The problem she saw was that the empath was more open than the anchor. It wasn't unusual. Anchors had to adjust their lives to make room for the empath and that wasn't always easy. Especially if the anchor had built a life.

"I would suggest doing one activity together each week. Take turns choosing the activity. That should help you see what you had in common. That will help you feel closer. Also I will give you a bowl full of questions. Each day I want you to take out one. You both answer the question as honestly as possible." The counselor told them. Roxy wasn't sure about the last one. Sharing wasn't something she had ever done and there were some things she didn't want to share.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"Uh, well..." Jess blurted, panic rising. Some of the questions, given the situation, were bound to turn out awkward. Although the presence of two anchors muted surrounding emotions, it was obvious just from Roxy's face that she thought the same. Yet neither could explain why. The display of uncertainty had already prompted Laura to write down notes, and Jess couldn't risk letting on anything more.

"Yeah. Sounds like a good idea," she continued, trying to keep her tone sounding calm. "We're not exactly used to asking each other things, but... Well, that's the point of the exercise." She forced a laugh before turning to Roxy. "Speaking of exercise... Physical exercise. How about that as an activity?"

She took a deep breath. There was no shame in asking for help. It wouldn't inconvenience Roxy. On the contrary, if they connected better, it would benefit both of them.

"Would you be ok helping me train?"

She didn't specify what kind of training. Best to avoid mentioning anything that could bring on suspicion, but the fact was, learning self defense could be more than just a way to bond. It could become a necessity.

[KatherinWinter]

"I understand. Asking personal questions to a stranger is hard but it's the best way to get to get to know each other. I can write questions for you. Some will be simple, like what is your favorite color. Others will be more personal. If you can build a friendship living together will be easier." Laura adviced. She noted how stiff Roxy was. She wondered what caused it but didn't push. There was time to get to that.

Roxy shrugged. "If you want to. You just have to tell me what your comfortable learning?"

"What kind of training?" Laura asked. She could think of several that could help.

"I practice self defense and some martial arts." Roxy answered without hesitation. Lots of woman learned self defense now days. There was no reason not to tell the counselor.

"Do you feel that you need to protect yourself now that you didn't feel before you lived in isolation Jess?" Laura asked

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess bit her lip. Laura's question resonated with her, even if the counsellor didn't know about the danger she and Roxy were in. "Well... To be honest, I need to get back into some kind of exercise routine anyway," she said with a slight laugh. During the first few years of isolation, she'd taken self-care more seriously, going for regular brisk walks around the woods to ward off stir-craziness. Eventually, though, it had seemed mechanical and pointless. It wouldn't any more, but Laura had picked up right away that fitness wasn't the main reason. Protection was.

"But now you mention it," Jess continued, "I guess suddenly getting thrown back into the world can do that. I mean I didn't feel like it before." Guarding the truth as carefully as she could, she let only parts of it show, not that even that came easily. As someone who'd tried to solve her own problems in the past, opening up heightened the sense of vulnerability that Laura had brought to light. Asking for help wasn't a failing, she'd come to realise that, but she needed to be strong for the upcoming weekend. For Roxy.

Maybe the training would help with that, at least. As would the increased bond from the questions, as long as they weren't too personal. She could only hope this would help both of them move forward instead of set them back.

"About the questions, thanks," she said, despite her worries. "And you too, Roxy, thank you. I'll just stick with the basics for now. Kicks, punches, escaping holds." She gave Roxy a little smile. "Any activities you want to try?"

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy nodded. She could handle most of get to know you questions. She was sure they would start with the basics question. Those wouldn't be a problem. At least she didn't think they would be. She would do her best to answer them. It was important to make Jess feel as comfortable as possible. The more comfortable the empath was the better the bubble would protect her.

"Sure. I can teach you a few things." It wasn't likely that the other woman would ever use them. It would be a long time before Jess was far enough away to have to defend herself but Roxy understood how knowing that she could defend herself would help Jess feel more confident.

"I don't know what kind of activities you enjoy so I really don't know what I want to try. I guess that is something that we will have to figure out when we go through the questions." Roxy shrugged. She figured since self defense was her 'activity' the other one should be something Jess liked to do.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"That'd be great."

Jess' smile grew, yet it still hid a great deal, as Laura had likely figured out in part. "Again, thanks, both of you," she said, glancing from Roxy to the counsellor. She and Roxy would have to bridge the rift between them as much as possible to get through the upcoming weekend.

Said weekend, despite their efforts to focus on work, arrived all too fast. The morning was still dark and quiet, no sign of sunrise, when Jess woke up on Saturday. She lay in bed for several hours, trying to drift back to sleep, but worries chased away any chance of rest. As light began seeping through the curtains, she sighed and swung her legs over the side of the bed.

Roxy, who probably hadn't slept any better, would surely be up soon. Best for both of them to face this day and get it over with, Jess knew that, but thinking about it only fed the fear. She could only hope what little closeness they'd kindled would help her support the woman who'd risked everything for her.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy was alright with them not being able to answer the question. Preparing for the weekend was enough to deal with but she did want to start answering them. She hoped doing so would help her make Jess more comfortable. The more comfortable the empath was the better the bubble would be. Or so she hoped.

She wake up early. She wasn't looking forward to the trip. She didn't want to deal with her father but there was no choice. She got dressed then went into the living room. Roxy went to her knives and slide two into her boot. Even though her fatherand his staff would b eon their best behavior in an attempt to win Jess over, she wanted to be prepared. "Do you want to eat before we leave. The car should be here in about fifteen minutes. "

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

As soon as she heard the door open and felt Roxy's presence shift, Jess rose, hurrying to get ready herself. Heading to the living room, she noticed the gleam of the knives as Roxy slipped them into her boot. She shuddered, gripping her overnight bag tighter. The situation wasn't likely to get that dire, was it? Just how much danger were they in?

She shook her head at Roxy's question. "No, I'm good. Nothing much anyway," she murmured, grabbing a cereal bar from the cupboard. No time for a leisurely breakfast and coffee, not that relaxation would be an option even if there was. She sat down, shoulders hunched, eyes shifting towards the window every so often.

"While we're over there, let's think of next week the best we can," she said. It wasn't much of a suggestion, but it was all she had to offer. "And the weeks after that. Let's think which activities to try." Maybe focusing on things to look forward to after the visit would help them get through it.

[KatherinWinter]

"As long as you're sure." Roxy commented. She hoped her own lack of appetite wasn't affecting Jess. She tried to think positively. Her father would try to impress the empath. Which meant Jess should only see the best but even knowing that didn't ease Roxy's mind. She worried that the empath would fall for the display. That would pull them both into a world she wanted nothing to do with

"What we do is really up to you. We can do whatever you want to do. After the weekend we can start learning self defense if you want." She hadn't wanted to start before the weekend. Mostly because she hadn't been in the best frame of mind. She didn't want to accidentally hurt Jess while teaching her so she had put it off. To make sure that she could focus on the training. Right now she was too distracted to focus the way she wanted to.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"Thanks. As for the week after that, uh..." Jess knew she should take her own advice, focus on the future instead of the present. Easier said than done. Not that it would be easy to think of activities suited to the two of them in any case. Taking tiny nibbles of the cereal bar, she mulled over the possibilities.

There were the arts and crafts activities she'd tried in the cabin, but she'd shown no aptitude towards them, as the anchor had seen with the bird sculpture. Who knew, maybe Roxy would turn out to excel, although she doubted it would be her ideal hobby. Jess thought back to what she'd enjoyed before isolation, besides solitary pastimes such as reading. Athletic hobbies might be an idea, besides woodland walks, which wouldn't be the same again. It was just a matter of figuring out what kind.

"Well, I did mean it about getting back into an exercise routine, so are there other sports we could look into?" she asked. "Uh, if you're ok with that. It just seems like something we'll both enjoy. That and there's sharing the music we like, and..."

She fell silent at the sound of a car pulling up. Glimpsing the vehicle through the window, she shuddered and stood. "It's something to figure out over the weekend," she murmured, throat tightening as she spoke, her reaction most likely mirroring Roxy's. "Something to look forward to."

Her words rang hollow as she hefted her bag onto her shoulders. There was much more to fear than to anticipate.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy shrugged as she headed to the door. "I've never done exercise. At least not the kind your talking about. Or supports. I suppose if you want to try we can. We won't know if we like it until we do." She hadn't ever been normal. All the things Jess missed out on because of her isolation Roxy had also missed out on but for a very different reason.

She made her way out of the house. She held the door for Jess. The driver got out of the car and opened the back door for them. "I seriously doubt we like the same music but it wouldn't hurt to see." She doubted they had much in common. Alright there was a world of differences. Jess had had two parents. She had grown up loved and accepted. She had good memories. Roxy had none of those things. She had been alone in a way Jess' isolation could never simulate.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"Ehh, sorry..." Jess rubbed the back of her neck as she shuffled after Roxy. By suggesting activities, it seemed that instead of helping, she was just highlighting her own privilege. She'd had a normal life. Roxy hadn't. The car outside was a reminder of this, as was the empty feeling the other woman gave off. Loneliness deeper than any she'd felt herself, even during those five years.

She climbed into the car, muscles clenching, doubtlessly due to Roxy preparing to get in. A regular journey would be bad enough, but this was quite something else. Looking up, Jess gave a twitch of a smile. "I guess it's worth trying." As much as she wanted to tell Roxy she wasn't alone any more, was this truly the case? They shared their lives, but not their experiences, the anchor's being ones that not even an empath could fully understand.

Instead of stating it outright, she worded it in a more subtle way. "There have got to be some things out there that work for both of us. It's... It's just a matter of finding them."

[KatherinWinter]

"There was no reason for you to be sorry Jess." Roxy assured the empath as she slid into the limo. She tried to stay calm as the door was closed. She was glad that she has Jess to focus on. She needed something to focus on. "We'll find something." She couldn't imagine what but there had to be something. They balanced each other. Jess felt too much and she felt too little. There was a reason they were paired they just had to find it.

"Let's start with music. Why don't you a song off your list." At least with the music going it wouldn't be silent. Anything was better than that. She was pretty tolerant when it came to music. She was picky about what was on her list but she wasn't judgemental of other people's choices. She was curious what kind of music Jess listened to. What did the empath use to fill the silence of isolation?

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Even though Roxy kept her face and tone neutral, Jess could feel the welling panic. As far as music went, this called for something soothing. Unless Roxy hated it, of course, which given their luck, was all too likely.

Pulling out her phone, Jess scrolled through the playlists until she settled on some relaxing soft rock, not unlike the oldies Roxy had played in the car the other day. Maybe this would be closest to suiting both their tastes. "Here," she said, handing Roxy an earphone, letting the mellow guitar intro play. "How's this? Uh, let me know if you'd rather have something else, or if you'd rather choose some of your music."

With the melody came memories of how it had eased her worries, as day after day she'd wondered how long it would take to find an anchor. Now, as she shared the song with that very anchor, she hoped it would have the same calming effect on her.

[KatherinWinter]

Unlike Jess Roxy didn't have memories liked to songs. She heard many people did but music hadn't been a part of her life. She could think of a few time. Most she thought of the melody. She recognized the sound but usually not the words. She was rarely able to hear the words since the music was usually some distance from her. Still there melodies that she associated with memories.

"This is fine. I figured that we could take turns sharing songs."Roxy suggested. She had no idea what she would play since she didn't have a play list the way Jess did. She would have to so that she would have something to share. "Is there a reason why you choose to start with this song?" She asked curiously. She knew people put songs on their lists for various reasons. Maybe knowing those reasons would help her understand the empath.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"Uh..." Jess looked away. Roxy didn't hate the song after all, so that was good, but how to explain why she'd chosen it? How could she talk about her own isolation to someone who'd dealt with a different kind entirely? "No particular reason," she replied. "It's... It's just one I like." With a little smile, she added, "One of those relaxing, uplifting songs, huh?"

She gripped the phone tighter, staring down at her knees. Even if Roxy got what she was trying to say, how much could a simple song truly help the situation? Music hadn't fixed everything for her, and it wouldn't fix everything for the anchor either. All it could do was distract them from the journey, and from thoughts of where it would lead.

As the track's ending notes faded out, Jess raised her head. "Well, looks like it's your turn now," she said, removing the earphone, wondering what Roxy would pick and why.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy was disappointed in Jess' answer but she shouldn't expected more. She couldn't expect the empath to open up to her. Still it was better to have music than nothing. She pulled out her phone. She scrolled through the songs she had played recently and selected one. This one wasn't the old rock style. This one was a modern pop song. It didn't have a specific meaning. It was just one that she listened to when she needed something upbeat.

Once the song was done she turned towards Jess. "You're turn." They had time for a few more. She didn't want to think about the place they were going. She was ashamed to say she had once been proud to call the place home. She had dreamed of working beside her father. Now that was the last thing she wanted to do. She hated everything her father represented.