[IC] Be my Sanctuary

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"Ehh..." Jess flinched at the flare of discomfort followed by the sarcastic comment. Great, one attempt at making conversation and now she was acting like a wreck again. She forced herself to tilt her shoulders back, uncurling from her hunched position, trying to look at least reasonably confident. Not that Roxy was looking, and not that she'd be fooled even if her back wasn't turned.

"I'm, uh, a little out of practice," Jess said, putting on that fake smile, trying humour as her own form of defense. "But, umm, it's not like we'll have any shortage of opportunities." She glanced away from Roxy, towards her soup bowl. She'd just gone and reminded the anchor that they were stuck with each other whether they liked it or not.

[KatherinWinter]

"True enough." Roxy commented. Part of her was happy that she wasn't the only one who was uncomfortable. But she knew it wouldn't take long for Jess to adjust. After all she had interacted and been part of society at one point. There was no reason that the empath wouldn't be able to do it again. Well there was her inability to do those things. Her life had always been on the outskirts.

Roxy wondered what the other woman would think if she knew what kind of life she had lived in the past. Not that she planned to tell Jess anything about that. Her past wasn't something she wanted to think about much less share. There was no reason to share her past with ghe empath. It had nothing to do with her life now. She had cut ties to it when she had run away. Hopefully it wasn't a topic that would come up much.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

The rest of the meal was finished in silence. Jess barely glanced in Roxy's direction. She knew she'd hardly made a good first impression on the anchor. Sooner or later, though, Roxy would see who she'd once been... or so she told herself. Could she ever be that person again?

Deep down, she knew the answer. No. Not entirely. She'd get as close as possible to being her former self, though.

She stood up and placed the empty bowl in the dishwasher, then viewed the spacious room again. "I guess I'd better take a look around," she said. "Better get familiar with this place." The more she studied her surroundings, though, the more she acknowledged with a sinking feeling that her mother really wasn't going to approve of a home like this. Her attention flicked over the workout area, or rather, the combat training area.

Why was it, she wondered, that Roxy felt the need to be so defensive, both physically and verbally?

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy was exactly sure what Jess meant. There wasn't alot to the place. It was pretty bare. It could have been a model home, minus the fact it was on top of a mechanic shop. There was nothing person. Just looking around you would know very little about the woman who lived there.

She hadn't done that on purpose. Roxy was simply used to hiding everything. In her world the less people knew about you the less they could use against you. She knew she would have to let the empath in a little. You couldn't live with someone without getting to know about them. But Roxy had every intention of keeping Jess on the outskirts of her life. The less involved they were the safer the empath would be.

While she hadn't heard from her father since she escaped she had no doubt he was searching for her. As far as she knew she was the only who had ever escaped that he'll hole. Her father had to fear the knowledge that she had. Though she had no intentions of ever revealing what she knew, not that anyone believe her if she tried, he wouldn't be willing to take that chance.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Although there wasn't much around, Jess figured it would be a good idea to check where all the essentials were. As she did, though, worry grawed at her. She shouldn't be quite this nervous, she told herself. Surely it wouldn't take her long to adjust, and so far Roxy had been kind despite that standoffish front she put up. Kind enough to help a stranger at her own expense.

Glancing over at Roxy, she realised the tension gripping her wasn't all her own. "Uh... Is everything alright there?" she asked. Of course things weren't what either of them could call alright, but Roxy seemed to be trying to accept her role, albeit grudgingly. What was it that the anchor was afraid of?

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy gave Jess an odd look. If she didn't know better she would think that the empath was picking up some of her unease. Which made no sense. Anchors were suppose to block all emotions. It would a very bad thing if Jess could tap into the feelings that she did her to ignore. The last thing she wanted or needed was someone she didn't know or trust having access to emotions she desire to acknowledge.

"Relax Jess. Everything is as alright as it's going to be." Which was true. They were two stranger used to living alone. It would take time for them both to find a new normal "We should probably talk about schedules and stuff. I don't think sleep matters much. Accept I usually open the garage around seven. I don't eat breakfast. Lunch and supper are pretty much whenever I have time."

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

The anxiety wasn't going away. Jess had hoped Roxy would be able to cancel out her ability entirely - it would be better for both of them if that were the case - but from what she'd heard, that only happened with less powerful empaths. At least the anchor's presence made her power more bearable. Even so, she couldn't help but be concerned for Roxy, wondering what exactly was worrying her so much.

"Yeah..." she replied, nodding in agreement when Roxy mentioned schedules, and listening. "I'm fine with being up early - I do eat breakfast, though." As someone who'd once wanted to become a doctor - although she didn't know how that dream would work now - she aimed to live an overall healthy lifestyle. "Uh, just so you know, I'm going to want to take up some kind of education or training again. And... relearn to socialise. Umm, maybe not immediately, but when our bond's stronger."

Biting her lip, she glanced at the floor. She couldn't drag Roxy, who liked routine and simplicity, around with her everywhere, but she couldn't put her life on hold again. Was there any kind of compromise they could agree to?

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy wasn't surprised by the request. It made sense. But like learning to drive it wasn't something she would look forward. She had barely graduated high school. College had never been an option for her. But part of her envied that the people who could go. If Jess wanted to go. Most colleges would make special arrangements for empaths. Empaths were encouraged to pursue jobs so that they didn't have to depend on the government once they had an anchor. Until that time they would get a stipend to support themselves.

"That's understandable. You might want to start with online classes." Why Jess hadn't hadn't already done that was beyond her. Most degrees could at least be started online. But that was the empath's business. The option was there. It would give her a place to start. Once she was comfortable they could talk about Jess taking a campus class or two.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"Yeah, that's the plan," Jess replied. "I managed to finish my schooling online, but using the Internet wasn't exactly easy, what with the location." Hopefully doing a course would be feasible here - especially as she no longer faced the same level of uncertainty. Now, she actually could work towards a goal.

"Uh, I'll... I'll need to get some work experience too." It was about time she started supporting herself - without inconveniencing Roxy. Somehow. There was the option of working from home, but it seemed unlikely that anyone would employ someone with as little life experience as she had. In any case, she could at least try.

[KatherinWinter]

"The internet connection here shouldn't be a problem. I don't know why you didn't file a compliment when yours didn't work out in the middle of no where. They're suppose to make sure that you have everything you need in order to live a comfortable live and be able to return to society easily."Roxy shook her head. She had only heard a little about the program set up to care for empaths while they waited for an anchor. She worried that Jess hadn't been able to stand up for herself with the people who were suppose to see to her needs she wouldn't be strong enough to survive the world she was currently in.

"What kind of skills do you have? If your any good with math I guess you could start by working at the desk downstairs. You could ring people up and do you class stuff." She sucked at math. Her organization skills didn't extend to paperwork. She was able to keep the doors open mostly by luck a very few costs.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"I did, but after they said it was fixed, it started acting up again, and..." Jess trailed off. She remembered what she'd picked up on from the people who'd supposedly sorted out the connection. Pity. Since then, Jess had known exactly how some would view her, as some poor little waif stuck in the middle of nowhere. Of course, the job hadn't been done properly, and the connection was still shaky. She knew not everyone would be like that, but she hadn't bothered putting in another complaint. "There just didn't seem to be much point.

What had happened to her self-esteem? Why did she have such an issue about burdening people? Actually, she knew why it was - the way she'd inadvertently weighed down her family while they'd been at their least able to cope with another struggle. It was something she needed to get over, though, if she wanted to be able to stand up for herself.

And here was a way to be less of a burden. A way to be helpful. A way to contribute not just to society, but to the life of the person who'd made sacrifices for her. "Uh... anyway. Math is something I can do, as well as computer work." Math had been one of her best subjects at school, but the problem with administrative work would be her rusty social skills. At least this would get her talking to people again. "That'd be great. I'll - I'll try my best."

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy rolled her eyes at Jess' explanation. To her the empath had taken the easy way out. She had probably felt the repair person's emotions and decided it wasn't worth experiencing again. Once again the other woman was proving just how fragile she was. Roxy was sure there were reasons. Some people grew stronger when challenged. But Jess seemed to be the type to allow the circumstances beat her down.

Some of that probably had to do the empath experiencing other people's emotions. From the little she learned some empaths didn't go into isolation right away. She couldn't imagine why anyone wouldn't but she supposed there were always situations that didn't allow the empath to leave their lives just because they suddenly developed the ability to feel everyone's emotions. "You'll do fine. My customers aren't exactly social people. It will help you get used to being around others again and give you something to do downstairs."

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Feeling Roxy's contempt growing, Jess resisted the urge to flinch away. She'd realised just how pathetic she'd sounded right after she'd spoken, and the other woman's reaction had confirmed it. This wasn't who her dad would have wanted her to be. But was the other alternative to be a nuisance?

Thankfully, instead of putting her down, Roxy encouraged her despite her inner feelings. Jess let herself relax a little. "Yeah. It'll..." Aware of her mumbling tone - which wouldn't be any good for customer service, whether said customers were social people or not - she did her best to sound clearer, more confident. "It'll help both of us out. Uh..." The thin facade faltered. "I hope."

So much for attempting to come across as positive.

[KatherinWinter]

The rest of the evening she rescheduled the jobs that she had for tomorrow so that Jess could visit with her mom as long as she wanted to. Roxy didn't mind. She was used to it. She supposed that Jess was as well. Eventually she called it a night. She locked up the shop before locking up the apartment. Then she went into her room and closed the door. She stripped off her close and tossed them into the laundry before climbing into bed. She hoped that Jess was comfortable.

Roxy tossed and turned all night. Nightmares plagued her. She hoped that she hadn't keep Jess awake. She wasn't used to having to worrying about someone hearing her. She didn't want the other woman to know that she had trouble sleeping. She got up early as usual and got dressed before heading out to make coffee. She never bothered with breakfast. She was never hungry until later in the day.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Disinfectant. Cold blue walls. Grief, fear, anger, all around her.

Jess woke up in a cold sweat. Just as usual, nightmares had disturbed her sleep. She inwardly scolded herself again. She really should be over these dreams. The sight of the spare room, though, brought some reassurance. Maybe now she could start moving forward.

As the light filtering through the blinds grew brighter, Jess decided trying to get back to sleep was pointless. The feeling of distress left over from the dreams just wouldn't fade - and occasionally spiked, as if she were still in a nightmare's grip. Through the wall, she could hear Roxy groaning and turning over. She most likely wasn't the only one whose sleep was being disrupted, Jess realised.

When she heard the other woman up and about, she climbed out of bed, quickly showering and dressing before joining Roxy in the kitchen area. "Uh... hi," she mumbled. Despite her concern, she wasn't going to ask any questions about what she'd picked up on. She couldn't imagine Roxy would want to talk about it.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy looked up as Jess entered the room. She studied the other woman. It was clear that she hadn't been the only one to have a rough night's sleep. She figured it was because all of the changes in the empath's life. It couldn't be easy to go from living in the boonies to living in the middle of the city.

"Morning. Coffee is about ready." She indicated to the pot. She had no idea what else to say or do. She wasn't used to sharing space with someone. Jess hadn't been demanding which was good but she didn't want the empath to feel like she was a guest. Whether they liked it or not they were stuck with each other for the rest of their lives. The idea scared Roxy. She had never thought she would share her life with anyone. Now she had to find a way to protect a very fragile woman from her past.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

"Thanks," Jess said, approaching and pouring herself a cup of coffee. Such a normal part of a morning routine, yet in an unfamiliar situation. Everything had changed, hopefully for the better, but this had opened up a whole new set of issues to resolve.

That worry nagged at the back of her mind again. She didn't even know if it was her own or Roxy's. Caffeine probably wasn't a good idea, but she needed something to make up for the lack of sleep.

"Uhh..." She glanced at the fridge and cupboard, then at Roxy. "Is it alright if I get something to eat?" Great, she'd just gone and sounded utterly pathetic again. Of course it should be alright, she lived here now... but this was still someone else's food. It would feel rude to just rummage through Roxy's cupboard for some bread to toast without asking first.

This was all going to take a lot of getting used to.

[KatherinWinter]

Roxy looked at Jess with an eyebrow raised. Hadn't they covered this yesterday? She was pretty sure that she had told the other woman that she could help herself to whatever she could find. There wasn't much but she had no problem with Jesse helping herself to what there was. "I told your welcome to anything in the apartment with the exception of my knives." She reminded the other woman. "Help yourself to whatever you can find."

She took her coffee mug to the table. Honestly she was at a loss as to what to do. She rarely had this much time on her hands. She stayed busy on purpose. She didn't need or want time to think. She decided that she would spend the day training. It was sometsomething that she needed to do anyway. It would keep her focused enough that Jess and her mom would have some privacy.

[LuckyBlackCat]

Jessamyn "Jess" Bailey

Jess couldn't help grimacing a little at the way Roxy looked at her. She'd tried not to offend the anchor, only to go and piss her off anyway. A common occurrence already. "Thanks, I'll get my own food when I can though," she replied, taking a loaf of bread from the cupboard and popping two slices in the toaster.

Hopefully the administration job would work out, and then she'd feel more in control, more able to make her own choices, more like the adult she was meant to be by now. It would all be fine, she told herself as she waited for the toast to brown. She'd find some way to live her life without bothering Roxy. Eventually. Maybe.

[KatherinWinter]

"I see. Should I get a labor maker? I wouldn't want to use 'your' food." Roxy snapped before getting up from the table and heading towards the work out area. She didnt pick up the knives this time instead she started kicking the bag that was hanging from the ceiling. She gave it a perfect round house kick.

She didn't know why she was hurt by Jess' rejection of her. She should be used to it by now. There was no reason why the empath would want to be her friend. No reason to think the would simply share everything. Of course the other woman would want her things. The empath was used to being alone just like she was. There was no reason to change that simply because they had to live together for the rest of their lives. Together but alone. It was the story of her life. She should have expected it.