Pamela walked almost purposefully down the hallway, to Bruce’s office. As she walked, she nudged plants that were beginning bud, encouraging them to grow. She didn’t even knock, but rather entered Bruce’s office. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, Pamela’s long red hair; usually wild, was tamed. For now. She leaned against the door frame, watching the man who had changed the world, and made a school for children and those with powers to come. The man who was the father of her child.
“She’ll be here soon, won’t she?”
She didn’t need to say who, she knew that both of them were thinking almost constantly about the daughter they gave up, just under 19 years ago. Her expression was a little vulnerable, and she knew worry showed on her face. The day was, truly, only just beginning, the sun rising in the wide open window, giving the day a bright orange highlight.
Pamela didn’t see it, not truly, her eyes on Bruce.
“I won’t let her go again, Bruce”
“..you think I will..? She’s my daughter too, Pamela.” Frowning slightly, Bruce lowered the files he had been looking over, placing them down on his desk before he turned his back to her, his dark gaze intent and staring out the window at the rising sun, watching on as the light washed over the academy bringing with it the dawn of a new day...
..the dawn of a new era- a better era…
He was a wreck; nervous. Probably as much as she was, maybe even more; though he did all that he could not to show it, instead keeping up the wall he had long ago built in order to harden himself from the hardships of the world.
Pamela watched Bruce, hesitating a moment. She had spent the last… well, several years going through stages of anger, and resignation. That didn’t mean that she wasn’t still hurting… and despite the hardened exterior Bruce erected, he was too. She sighed, going over to his desk and sitting on the edge of it. She glanced out the window as well.
For a moment, Pamela didn’t know what to say. Was there anything to say? Had she come here looking for a fight? Or comfort from the one person in the same situation as she? She wasn’t so sure. Which made it harder to know what to do. “She’s going to be angry… “ At least, Pamela knew she would be, if she was her daughter.
“And she has every right to be” Pamela added, having never quite been on board with leaving her child, like they had. Even if it had been the best thing for her.
“She won’t be the only one; though, she’s the only one that matters…” Frowning, Bruce shook his head lightly from side to side, an exasperated sigh falling out through his lips before eventually, he turned his head, his gaze flicking back to watch her out of the corner of his eye, “If she’s even the tiniest shred like either of us, she’ll get through this.”
Pamela was quiet for a few moments. She made no attempt at all to meet Bruce’s gaze, as she debated about admitting what she had done, just over a decade ago. Finally, she said “I sent her a letter when her abilities started to manifest” She said, knowing that they had both watched her throughout the years.
“..you did what..?” Anger clearly flashing behind his eyes, Bruce turned on his heel, giving her his profile as he turned his attention completely onto the woman leaning against his desk.
“She needed to know how to hide what she could do, and why”
Pamela never regretted doing what she had, and she would do it again, without question. She knew very well that Bruce would be angered by that, and she turned once more to face him.
“That wasn’t the deal, Pamela..!” His arms dropping back down to his sides, Bruce balled both his hands into fists, restraining himself from hitting anything around him by clenching his jaw. She had crossed the line this time… nineteen years- nineteen goddamn years, and he had kept his end of the deal, while working tirelessly in order to right the wrong they had done by giving her up, only to find that she had broken her word…
“You said once that I would be able to take your word; you swore to me when we made the choice to give her up. Was I a fool to believe you..?”
Pamela didn’t move, nor did she flinch at the anger in his voice, in his actions. Her expression, her gaze, was almost challenging. Fiery. And she realised maybe she had come here looking for a fight. For a split second, she nearly responded in kind, before she realised that letting her own anger get the better of her would get them nowhere.
She waited a few moment, before she said “I did what I had to do to make sure she stayed safe. What do you think would have happened, if someone saw what she could do? It isn’t as if there are many of us that can manipulate plants, and I wasn’t going to have her used against me; against us”
She rose, and suddenly her anger just disappeared, and all she was, was weary, worried, and more than a little afraid. “I stayed away from her, I didn’t go close, I didn’t do anything, other than make sure she wasn’t going to end up in danger! If you’re going to be angry about that, then be angry. But she’s safe, because I chose to do what I did. And I’d do it again. I should have told you, but it wouldn’t have changed what I did”
“No; she’s safe because of what I chose to do..!”
His angered voice filling the rather large office, Bruce narrowed his eyes, his chest heaving lightly up and down as he did what he could to control the mess of emotions flowing through him now he knew what had happened. She thought she had done what was best; but what she did could have put a bigger target on their daughter than any other. It was stupid… and there was no way he was going to allow something so reckless to happen again; not on his watch.
“We made this choice together. No contact until it was safe. You gave me your word, Pamela- and that is now something I will not take without a very large grain of salt.” over to where she was stood, Bruce’s arms shook lightly at his side, his dark eyes hard as he looked down at her, his voice deep… and filled with a venom he hadn’t used now in quite some time, “What you did was beyond reckless- you put our daughter at risk with your careless behavior, and I will not have it happen again.”
Now Pamela did flinch, but she stood her ground. “You can't call it a choice when it was the only option” she said softly, and she shook her head. “You're right. I did put her at risk, simply by being what I am. I passed my powers to her.” Fear filled her, not of Bruce- he couldn't hurt her anymore than she had herself- but of the idea that he might force her to stay away from her. She would not let that happen.
“When she walked outside… the reaction of plant life was more than obvious. What I did was a risk, but doing nothing was an even greater risk”
She let out a slow breath, “because I would have torn the earth apart to get her back from those that would use her. And I know you would have as well” Now she looked away, no longer wanting to see his expression.
“I'm sorry for leaving you out, but I'm not sorry for doing it”
Old habits died hard; and in his restraint of not reaching out and laying a hand on her, Bruce lifted it up, slamming his fist instead down into the tabletop of his desk, causing everything that was on top to rattle violently, some of it threatening to fall off.
“Then you should have come to me..!”
Sorry..? She was sorry for leaving him in the dark all this time..? Sorry for breaking all and any trust that he had in her..? It wasn’t good enough. Nowhere near it. Sweeping his arm across the side of his desk, he sent the student files he had been looking at flying, causing the papers within to scatter about the floor around them in his anger, “Ten years, Ivy. Ten fucking years you left me in the goddamn dark. Sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it. You’ve gone too far this time, and I’m not having it any longer.”
She should never have said anything. Why had she? He could never possibly understand what it had been, to know she had a choice to make. If she'd taken the time to return to Gotham, anything could have happened. Or nothing. But she hadn't wanted to take that chance.
She stepped back from him, her heart heavy with emotion. She couldn't even tell what emotions. “And just how did you want me to do that, Bruce? I all but hide away from any sort of attention, to have her. I ignored all that was going on, so that no one would know at all. And didn't truly go back to it. So how was I meant to, without arousing suspicion?” She was nearly just going to leave it there, but… she'd get nowhere if she did that.
She shook her head, looking back to him, making no effort to hide the emotions coursing through her. The complicated mess that for so long had twisted her about. “You're not having it? You can't change the past, and you sure as hell are going to stop me being apart of her life.
Nothing will ever stop me being apart of her life. Nothing.”
She met his gaze, tears swimming in her eyes, but she made sure none fell. She would never use tears as a weapon, on anyone. “I'm not going to miss anything in her life again. We don't even know what her first words were. Or when she first walked. What her favourite colour is. We don't know anything about her, anything that we should know”
When her voice shook, she swallowed, gaining some composure. “Sorry is all I have. You've already said you won't take my word without a grain of salt, so a promise seems redundant now” she said softly, not truly knowing where to go from there.
Her words hitting a nerve, Bruce turned away from her, his head dropping to stare at the polished wood as he leant over the desk, using his hands to keep him steady. He wanted to believe her- he knew she had changed, more than most others he had religiously faced off against throughout his past, but…
“..you broke my trust, Pamela…” His voice was soft as he spoke to her… a vast contrast to what it was moments ago when he had been yelling in anger, “..tell me... just tell me how I’m supposed to ever believe you after you kept this from me..? Because I want to… I just don’t know how I can…”
Pamela hesitated, for a brief flash of a moment, she felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff. Would her words shatter everything, even more than they already had? Yet there was really nothing to it, but utter honesty. She reached out, but stopped, dropped her hand back to her side, her voice soft, almost a whisper as she said “Because…” she stopped, reaching up to wipe away a tear that fell, before it could be seen.
She drew in a breath, “... I forgave you… for breaking my heart”
Her words stung... piercing through him like nothing before ever had, though he knew she was right. He had hurt her when he left her the way that he did- and though he did what he could to convince himself that he had reasons for doing so at the time, he wasn’t so sure that he believed himself, now… or even back then…
“..you’re right… I hurt you, Pamela; and by the time I finally realized the mistake I made by leaving you, it was too late…” Shutting his eyes a moment, Bruce paused, taking a moment to himself before he turned his head, his dark eyes showing the slightly vulnerable and emotional state he was in as he met with her gaze, “..you were gone… and I’d lost you…”
Pamela watched Bruce’s every movement, as if she could figure out what was going through his mind, and she didn’t look away when he turned to her, the words we all made mistakes dying away, instead she watched him for a few seconds.
She took a step towards him, “Bruce… “ they’d both made mistakes that they could never truly fix… And maybe that was okay. She reached towards him, this time following through. “Lost implies you can never find it again”
“..I don’t know if I can…” His voice soft, Bruce lifted his hand, reaching it across his body until it was resting lightly over her own, his gaze showing the honesty behind his words- he had lost her all those years ago after having made the mistake of leaving her… now he wasn’t so sure if he could find what they once had again…
She took another step towards him, so that she was almost touching him. “There's a saying, you never know, if you don't try” she flashed him a smile, there one second, gone the next. She looked up to him, and seemed to wait for a moment, almost it seemed giving him the choice.
His lips parting slightly from one another at her words, Bruce held her gaze, his eyes searching her own for any sign that this was a joke, though all he could find was the honesty behind what she had said; though it was that which caused him to hesitate. Was it really this simple..? Could he really just take that chance, and hope that it all worked out for the best..?
Watching her for only a few moments longer, he turned to face her, his hands slipping away from the desk to instead reach out, each taking a gentle hold of her sides as he took a step closer, the gap between them closing completely as he stooped his head down, his eyes holding hers for but a moment longer before he let them close, his lips pressing softly against her own in a gentle kiss.
Pamela returned his gaze, and as he took a hold of her, she moved into him, and returned his kiss, knowing that things would never be the same… but that was okay. She let her eyes close, taking comfort from the kiss, the contact. She didn't want to break away, but she did after a few moments.
No, things couldn't be the same… they hadn't been, for nearly nineteen years… but didn't mean things were lost. She smiled, a slow, small smile.
Lifting his hand up, Bruce used the back of his fingers to gently wipe the tears from her cheek, his gaze once more meeting with hers as he twisted his hand, using it to gently caress the side of her face, taking the moment to just look at her… to take in everything about her that he loved…
She was so beautiful; always had been, both inside and out. Passionate, fiery, always willing to fight for what it was that she believed was the right thing, even if it meant getting into trouble; and if their daughter was anything like her mother, anything like her at all, then by God he was clearly a very lucky man indeed, “..I’m sorry it took me so long, Pamela…”
She hadn't been aware of the tears, but it didn't seem to matter now. His gently touch brought faded memories back to life, and she sighed softly, keeping a hold of his gaze. For a fleeting moment, she thought on what it might be like, to be a family with their daughter…
She sighed again, letting the image fade. “Sometimes things take time… “ she said softly, silent for a few moments, before saying “I'm sorry, too”
She watched him, studying him, “and now we just have to face our daughter”
“..from now on; whatever choices we make… we make them together… as a team; a family. Like old times, Ivy; just you and me…” Using the hand left resting on her side in order to pull her closer, Bruce leant his head down once more, though this time so that he could rest his forehead lightly against her own; allowing himself a few moments to enjoy the feeling of once again holding her in his arms the way that he was, “..and now Phoebe as well…”
They'd never been normal, they would never be- the things they had done, seen? What they could do? Normal was a long way from that. Team… family… Pamela had long ago given up on that, not wanting to get hurt again, she had sounded confident in the face of Bruce’s… vulnerability… and his words…
You just had to take a chance.
She gave a small nod, “together” she agreed softly, staying as she was for a few moments, before pulling away slightly, knowing they had to start moving.
Phoebe would be there soon, with the other students. A difficult morning was going to become more so. She looked to Bruce and smiled, before moving over to the window, over the grounds of the academy, and to where she could see the gates. Any minute now, Phoebe would be walking through the grounds…
Maybe she already was, mixed in with the other students just starting to gather through the gates.
The dawn of a new Era, indeed.
“She’ll be here soon, won’t she?”
She didn’t need to say who, she knew that both of them were thinking almost constantly about the daughter they gave up, just under 19 years ago. Her expression was a little vulnerable, and she knew worry showed on her face. The day was, truly, only just beginning, the sun rising in the wide open window, giving the day a bright orange highlight.
Pamela didn’t see it, not truly, her eyes on Bruce.
“I won’t let her go again, Bruce”
“..you think I will..? She’s my daughter too, Pamela.” Frowning slightly, Bruce lowered the files he had been looking over, placing them down on his desk before he turned his back to her, his dark gaze intent and staring out the window at the rising sun, watching on as the light washed over the academy bringing with it the dawn of a new day...
..the dawn of a new era- a better era…
He was a wreck; nervous. Probably as much as she was, maybe even more; though he did all that he could not to show it, instead keeping up the wall he had long ago built in order to harden himself from the hardships of the world.
Pamela watched Bruce, hesitating a moment. She had spent the last… well, several years going through stages of anger, and resignation. That didn’t mean that she wasn’t still hurting… and despite the hardened exterior Bruce erected, he was too. She sighed, going over to his desk and sitting on the edge of it. She glanced out the window as well.
For a moment, Pamela didn’t know what to say. Was there anything to say? Had she come here looking for a fight? Or comfort from the one person in the same situation as she? She wasn’t so sure. Which made it harder to know what to do. “She’s going to be angry… “ At least, Pamela knew she would be, if she was her daughter.
“And she has every right to be” Pamela added, having never quite been on board with leaving her child, like they had. Even if it had been the best thing for her.
“She won’t be the only one; though, she’s the only one that matters…” Frowning, Bruce shook his head lightly from side to side, an exasperated sigh falling out through his lips before eventually, he turned his head, his gaze flicking back to watch her out of the corner of his eye, “If she’s even the tiniest shred like either of us, she’ll get through this.”
Pamela was quiet for a few moments. She made no attempt at all to meet Bruce’s gaze, as she debated about admitting what she had done, just over a decade ago. Finally, she said “I sent her a letter when her abilities started to manifest” She said, knowing that they had both watched her throughout the years.
“..you did what..?” Anger clearly flashing behind his eyes, Bruce turned on his heel, giving her his profile as he turned his attention completely onto the woman leaning against his desk.
“She needed to know how to hide what she could do, and why”
Pamela never regretted doing what she had, and she would do it again, without question. She knew very well that Bruce would be angered by that, and she turned once more to face him.
“That wasn’t the deal, Pamela..!” His arms dropping back down to his sides, Bruce balled both his hands into fists, restraining himself from hitting anything around him by clenching his jaw. She had crossed the line this time… nineteen years- nineteen goddamn years, and he had kept his end of the deal, while working tirelessly in order to right the wrong they had done by giving her up, only to find that she had broken her word…
“You said once that I would be able to take your word; you swore to me when we made the choice to give her up. Was I a fool to believe you..?”
Pamela didn’t move, nor did she flinch at the anger in his voice, in his actions. Her expression, her gaze, was almost challenging. Fiery. And she realised maybe she had come here looking for a fight. For a split second, she nearly responded in kind, before she realised that letting her own anger get the better of her would get them nowhere.
She waited a few moment, before she said “I did what I had to do to make sure she stayed safe. What do you think would have happened, if someone saw what she could do? It isn’t as if there are many of us that can manipulate plants, and I wasn’t going to have her used against me; against us”
She rose, and suddenly her anger just disappeared, and all she was, was weary, worried, and more than a little afraid. “I stayed away from her, I didn’t go close, I didn’t do anything, other than make sure she wasn’t going to end up in danger! If you’re going to be angry about that, then be angry. But she’s safe, because I chose to do what I did. And I’d do it again. I should have told you, but it wouldn’t have changed what I did”
“No; she’s safe because of what I chose to do..!”
His angered voice filling the rather large office, Bruce narrowed his eyes, his chest heaving lightly up and down as he did what he could to control the mess of emotions flowing through him now he knew what had happened. She thought she had done what was best; but what she did could have put a bigger target on their daughter than any other. It was stupid… and there was no way he was going to allow something so reckless to happen again; not on his watch.
“We made this choice together. No contact until it was safe. You gave me your word, Pamela- and that is now something I will not take without a very large grain of salt.” over to where she was stood, Bruce’s arms shook lightly at his side, his dark eyes hard as he looked down at her, his voice deep… and filled with a venom he hadn’t used now in quite some time, “What you did was beyond reckless- you put our daughter at risk with your careless behavior, and I will not have it happen again.”
Now Pamela did flinch, but she stood her ground. “You can't call it a choice when it was the only option” she said softly, and she shook her head. “You're right. I did put her at risk, simply by being what I am. I passed my powers to her.” Fear filled her, not of Bruce- he couldn't hurt her anymore than she had herself- but of the idea that he might force her to stay away from her. She would not let that happen.
“When she walked outside… the reaction of plant life was more than obvious. What I did was a risk, but doing nothing was an even greater risk”
She let out a slow breath, “because I would have torn the earth apart to get her back from those that would use her. And I know you would have as well” Now she looked away, no longer wanting to see his expression.
“I'm sorry for leaving you out, but I'm not sorry for doing it”
Old habits died hard; and in his restraint of not reaching out and laying a hand on her, Bruce lifted it up, slamming his fist instead down into the tabletop of his desk, causing everything that was on top to rattle violently, some of it threatening to fall off.
“Then you should have come to me..!”
Sorry..? She was sorry for leaving him in the dark all this time..? Sorry for breaking all and any trust that he had in her..? It wasn’t good enough. Nowhere near it. Sweeping his arm across the side of his desk, he sent the student files he had been looking at flying, causing the papers within to scatter about the floor around them in his anger, “Ten years, Ivy. Ten fucking years you left me in the goddamn dark. Sorry doesn’t even begin to cut it. You’ve gone too far this time, and I’m not having it any longer.”
She should never have said anything. Why had she? He could never possibly understand what it had been, to know she had a choice to make. If she'd taken the time to return to Gotham, anything could have happened. Or nothing. But she hadn't wanted to take that chance.
She stepped back from him, her heart heavy with emotion. She couldn't even tell what emotions. “And just how did you want me to do that, Bruce? I all but hide away from any sort of attention, to have her. I ignored all that was going on, so that no one would know at all. And didn't truly go back to it. So how was I meant to, without arousing suspicion?” She was nearly just going to leave it there, but… she'd get nowhere if she did that.
She shook her head, looking back to him, making no effort to hide the emotions coursing through her. The complicated mess that for so long had twisted her about. “You're not having it? You can't change the past, and you sure as hell are going to stop me being apart of her life.
Nothing will ever stop me being apart of her life. Nothing.”
She met his gaze, tears swimming in her eyes, but she made sure none fell. She would never use tears as a weapon, on anyone. “I'm not going to miss anything in her life again. We don't even know what her first words were. Or when she first walked. What her favourite colour is. We don't know anything about her, anything that we should know”
When her voice shook, she swallowed, gaining some composure. “Sorry is all I have. You've already said you won't take my word without a grain of salt, so a promise seems redundant now” she said softly, not truly knowing where to go from there.
Her words hitting a nerve, Bruce turned away from her, his head dropping to stare at the polished wood as he leant over the desk, using his hands to keep him steady. He wanted to believe her- he knew she had changed, more than most others he had religiously faced off against throughout his past, but…
“..you broke my trust, Pamela…” His voice was soft as he spoke to her… a vast contrast to what it was moments ago when he had been yelling in anger, “..tell me... just tell me how I’m supposed to ever believe you after you kept this from me..? Because I want to… I just don’t know how I can…”
Pamela hesitated, for a brief flash of a moment, she felt like she was standing on the edge of a cliff. Would her words shatter everything, even more than they already had? Yet there was really nothing to it, but utter honesty. She reached out, but stopped, dropped her hand back to her side, her voice soft, almost a whisper as she said “Because…” she stopped, reaching up to wipe away a tear that fell, before it could be seen.
She drew in a breath, “... I forgave you… for breaking my heart”
Her words stung... piercing through him like nothing before ever had, though he knew she was right. He had hurt her when he left her the way that he did- and though he did what he could to convince himself that he had reasons for doing so at the time, he wasn’t so sure that he believed himself, now… or even back then…
“..you’re right… I hurt you, Pamela; and by the time I finally realized the mistake I made by leaving you, it was too late…” Shutting his eyes a moment, Bruce paused, taking a moment to himself before he turned his head, his dark eyes showing the slightly vulnerable and emotional state he was in as he met with her gaze, “..you were gone… and I’d lost you…”
Pamela watched Bruce’s every movement, as if she could figure out what was going through his mind, and she didn’t look away when he turned to her, the words we all made mistakes dying away, instead she watched him for a few seconds.
She took a step towards him, “Bruce… “ they’d both made mistakes that they could never truly fix… And maybe that was okay. She reached towards him, this time following through. “Lost implies you can never find it again”
“..I don’t know if I can…” His voice soft, Bruce lifted his hand, reaching it across his body until it was resting lightly over her own, his gaze showing the honesty behind his words- he had lost her all those years ago after having made the mistake of leaving her… now he wasn’t so sure if he could find what they once had again…
She took another step towards him, so that she was almost touching him. “There's a saying, you never know, if you don't try” she flashed him a smile, there one second, gone the next. She looked up to him, and seemed to wait for a moment, almost it seemed giving him the choice.
His lips parting slightly from one another at her words, Bruce held her gaze, his eyes searching her own for any sign that this was a joke, though all he could find was the honesty behind what she had said; though it was that which caused him to hesitate. Was it really this simple..? Could he really just take that chance, and hope that it all worked out for the best..?
Watching her for only a few moments longer, he turned to face her, his hands slipping away from the desk to instead reach out, each taking a gentle hold of her sides as he took a step closer, the gap between them closing completely as he stooped his head down, his eyes holding hers for but a moment longer before he let them close, his lips pressing softly against her own in a gentle kiss.
Pamela returned his gaze, and as he took a hold of her, she moved into him, and returned his kiss, knowing that things would never be the same… but that was okay. She let her eyes close, taking comfort from the kiss, the contact. She didn't want to break away, but she did after a few moments.
No, things couldn't be the same… they hadn't been, for nearly nineteen years… but didn't mean things were lost. She smiled, a slow, small smile.
Lifting his hand up, Bruce used the back of his fingers to gently wipe the tears from her cheek, his gaze once more meeting with hers as he twisted his hand, using it to gently caress the side of her face, taking the moment to just look at her… to take in everything about her that he loved…
She was so beautiful; always had been, both inside and out. Passionate, fiery, always willing to fight for what it was that she believed was the right thing, even if it meant getting into trouble; and if their daughter was anything like her mother, anything like her at all, then by God he was clearly a very lucky man indeed, “..I’m sorry it took me so long, Pamela…”
She hadn't been aware of the tears, but it didn't seem to matter now. His gently touch brought faded memories back to life, and she sighed softly, keeping a hold of his gaze. For a fleeting moment, she thought on what it might be like, to be a family with their daughter…
She sighed again, letting the image fade. “Sometimes things take time… “ she said softly, silent for a few moments, before saying “I'm sorry, too”
She watched him, studying him, “and now we just have to face our daughter”
“..from now on; whatever choices we make… we make them together… as a team; a family. Like old times, Ivy; just you and me…” Using the hand left resting on her side in order to pull her closer, Bruce leant his head down once more, though this time so that he could rest his forehead lightly against her own; allowing himself a few moments to enjoy the feeling of once again holding her in his arms the way that he was, “..and now Phoebe as well…”
They'd never been normal, they would never be- the things they had done, seen? What they could do? Normal was a long way from that. Team… family… Pamela had long ago given up on that, not wanting to get hurt again, she had sounded confident in the face of Bruce’s… vulnerability… and his words…
You just had to take a chance.
She gave a small nod, “together” she agreed softly, staying as she was for a few moments, before pulling away slightly, knowing they had to start moving.
Phoebe would be there soon, with the other students. A difficult morning was going to become more so. She looked to Bruce and smiled, before moving over to the window, over the grounds of the academy, and to where she could see the gates. Any minute now, Phoebe would be walking through the grounds…
Maybe she already was, mixed in with the other students just starting to gather through the gates.
The dawn of a new Era, indeed.
