Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Neo Is Delight
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I was just kidding about the whole drawing thing.


I'm not trying to sound rude, but if you're joking you should say so, in the post with the joke. Because to everyone else, it doesn't look like a joke. We can't read your tone, merely the context, and the way it is written, does not make it sound like you were kidding. =^.^=
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by BrokenWashing
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@Neo Is Delight

That's fair enough. I forget that people can't hear my thoughts sometimes.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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@BrokenWashing

-had a meltdown-

@Dnafein

Accepted. All I do have one question. How many calories or how much does he need to consume to eat? And how often can he transform?
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BrokenWashing
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My mouth is zipped shut. Not mentioning it again. Sorry I didn't mean to cause you any stress.

(The pm I sent you is unrelated and your post hadn't loaded at the time of writing it.)

Once again, I'm very sorry and I do genuinely hope to be a part of your roleplay.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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My mouth is zipped shut. Not mentioning it again. Sorry I didn't mean to cause you any stress.

(The pm I sent you is unrelated and your post hadn't loaded at the time of writing it.)

Once again, I'm very sorry and I do genuinely hope to be a part of your roleplay.


That's fine. I just never had to deal with this. Ever. I have been in a lot of RP websites. And most members simply say "okay" and "I changed it". Or they just let me give a critique of a sheet and not say anything.

I feel like people are trying to GM the GM and I am like....

I want to work with my members. But I also want my members to let me do my work as a GM.

Thank you. Sorry I sort of got a bit meltdown overload there. You're still welcomed.

-hugs-

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by BrokenWashing
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Well, seeing as, once again, I have sat at my PC until 2 in the morning I really should be going.

I would say "No hard feelings" but really it's you who should be having said feelings, not me. So anyways, sorry again, and goodnight (or good day depending on your timezone.)
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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@BrokenWashing

Goodnight. Sorry about that. It wasn't meant to be personal. I just tend to have a guideline of policy. And felt it was being breached.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Scarescrow
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I think I'm gonna pull out, been thinking about my CS for days and I got nothing. So sorry but I think I'm gonna pull out.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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@Scarescrow

That's okay. I understand sometimes we don't have the inspiration we need.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tybalt Capulet
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I've made some significant changes! Hopefully it's up to snuff. Thanks, @BrokenWashing for the help!
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Dnafein
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@AngelofOctober requested information has been added to the end of specific power section. Anything listed as hypothesis, theory or conjecture has been listed as such to allow character exploration and to work with you on the extent of such powers. You prolly knew that already.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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@Dnafein

I love Chibi.

Man I wonder what he's going to think of the Primordial Being that is part of this team.

Umbra is going to get the name, alias, personality, power treatment.

His picture is being drawn by a friend. So that will come up later.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Neo Is Delight
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I've made some significant changes! Hopefully it's up to snuff. Thanks, @BrokenWashing for the help!


Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not trying to be a bitch, or take the reigns from Angel in any way.

But, while you've made it better, there's still lot's of room for improvement.

I'll start on the appearance. What does he wear casually? All you have noted for him to wear is a sweater, which leaves me with the impression that that's all he wears, and his junk is just hanging out for all to see. And that's not something I enjoy picturing mind you. Not to mention, what's he wear when heroing? Does he wear his casual outfit? Or does he have a specialized outfit. This needs to be stated.

Next, his ability. I'll be honest. It's OP as fuck. I like it, it's an interesting idea, but it's OP. Especially if he can just slash his throat, then touch an enemy and transfer it before he dies. There needs to be obvious limits set. How much damage can he transfer to a person. How much damage can he himself take on from others. Is there a time limit to transferring wounds? With such a powerful ability, you have to be as descriptive with it as you can.

Next, skills. Having good reflexes, and being hard to catch off guard(called being alert) are two completely different things. Urban Navigation, with the way you have it listed, makes it seem to me like he has some amazing ability to read street signs, which isn't really a skill at all. I would word it as him being able to read a map, as not everyone can, me being one of those people that are constantly confused by them.

Lastly, equipment. What exactly is in that bag of his? Again, you have to be descriptive, because there are plenty of things that could be seen as 'necessary' that wouldn't fit in a bag. I don't want to see him pulling every item that might ever be needed out of his bag as a joke, this isn't an lol anime, it's a semi-serious comic roleplay.

Please don't take this the wrong way, just trying to be helpful.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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@Dnafein

I feel like Serenity is going to baby Chibi so much.

"Does Chibi want a nummy nummy snack, open up"
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Dnafein
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@AngelofOctober I can totally see that looking at her cs, and Chibi will most likely take full advantage of it. Also kinda glad I didn't do the sheet like yours. It would be something like:

Name: Chibi

Alias: Chibi

Age: Chibi

Appearance: Chibi. Chibi. Chibi. ~Holds up picture~


And so on. I don't think it would have been accepted. Though would have been fun to write.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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@AngelofOctober I can totally see that looking at her cs, and Chibi will most likely take full advantage of it. Also kinda glad I didn't do the sheet like yours. It would be something like:

<Snipped quote>

And so on. I don't think it would have been accepted. Though would have been fun to write.


I'd probably accepted it just for the laugh.

Oh yeah Chibi is totally going to take full advantage of Serenity's mothering side. She'll put him those kangaroo patches embarrassingly to the other Rogue X members.

Take him grocery shopping with her.

"Okay Chibi pick a snack you want out"

God this is going to be lol.
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Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tybalt Capulet
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@Neo Is Delight

I appreciate that you're being so respectful with this. It isn't an easy thing to do, by any means.

Most of the things I didn't write were just stuff I didn't really think were worth mentioning. His other clothing is just denim pants and a plain shirt. The hoodie is the only thing of any real significance. The bag isn't really intended to be a Deus ex machina, as it doesn't actually have much in it. Just some food, his tent, and a sleeping bag. His clothes don't vary much because he's very, very broke. He wears the same hoodie to hero, though you're right, I should have mentioned that. I suppose he also uses a bandana over his mouth to hide his identity

The ability is pretty solid, I'll agree with that. But I wouldn't call it OP. Any injury he inflicts on himself is going to limit him pretty significantly, if the other fighter is even somewhat competent. Additionally, skin-on-skin contact isn't as simple to attain as you might think. Long sleeves, a hood, and you're largely protected from him. Compared to the abilities of any of the others, it's actually pretty dang mundane. He's mostly only useful in a fight, and even then, he's mild support or average offense. If I were to nerf him, it'd make him nearly useless!

Urban navigation is basically being able to figure out the twists and turns of a place. Shortcuts, back alleys, hideyholes, that sort of thing. Reflexes is basically a combination of the two things I wrote. Maybe it isn't the clearest, but that's the basic concept.

Again, thanks for the help. I'm never sure how much is too much with this sort of thing.
Hidden 7 yrs ago 7 yrs ago Post by AngelofOctober
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Umbra

“Humans leave an impressive amount of stuff lying around.”






Alias: Nightquake

Age: Ageless - but if a number satisfies you my human appearance is 25, I have been on Earth for 4 years and 1 day

Gender: I do not even know where to begin with such a question, I am a Primordial Void being. I do not think my anatomical structure actually matches that of a human considering my lower half is primordial matter. But I’d like to be called a He for the sake of clarity and to make it easier for the mortal beings in Rogue X.
Serenity Notes; Say that next time. You didn’t need all of that.
Umbra scribbles underneath; Say what?
Serenity Notes; That you prefer he. You do not need to explain every time someone ask what to call you.
Umbra: Huh. That does seem much simpler.

To begin to even describe what Umbra looks like is dependent on understand what Umbra actually is. And no one really is for certain what he is. He appears to be some Primordial Voidless being from his ribcage down.

The shadows at his feet are not in fact shadows, but said to be some kind of dark matter like substance and it’s a lot more solid than what you’d consider looking at it’s wispiness. The chimeric void creature appears from the neck up to be entirely human.

A narrow featured young man, with the only significant difference is the simple fact his hair is wispy and shadowy, almost like embers on top of his head. But it is also soft like hair as well. It’s rather uncertain to determine what kind of material it is.

Much like his anatomy is an odd thing to consider. He has a ribcage, a heart, and lungs to breathe. But if anyone were to have a powerful enough X-ray to pure into his body, he has arteries that are only circulating shadows or some kind of dark matter throughout his body.

He wears often a long black robe, that almost represents priest vestments, but with odd doom and gloom accessories when not projecting his bottom half most see this as a long black coat, the end of his coat being actually his body when not manipulating that part of his body. But he doesn’t bother with shoes because there is nowhere to actually put any feet, considering his lower half is an odd black mass that is quite solid despite looking like a shadow and acting like a shadow.

As for height, his standard stance would make him at least 5’8”, which doesn’t seem very tall, but no one is for certain how tall a primordial being is suppose to be. Or if they really have a height. His weight cannot be given because honestly there is no way of measuring something like that.

His cadence is very sotto voce that is in a very quiet voice, and it is often very monotonous because Umbra doesn’t know how to express emotional inflection very well. It’s also not very pleasant to listen too despite its chilly breeziness to it because it is often toneless.

Personality Strengths

Sagely

Being a Primordial Void has its perks, he has the memory of the earliest universe. Which honestly sounds odd and hard to imagine for any human being. But his wisdom is near limitless, at least when it comes to advice giving and the history of the earth.

Being a Primordial being means that Umbra can hear the voice of the universe. He remembers things that others could not. He holds the knowledge of the gods and he holds knowledge of the most ancient human beings because his body is made of such scattered things he has a lot of scattered information.

But Umbra is sort of out dated. He can tell you a lot about the history of the world, give you sagely advice, and seems to have some kind of universal knowledge. But Umbra is limited in just ancient history. It is a bad idea to ask him about modern world things because he doesn’t have any information about those things.

Asking him what outfit you should wear, or asking him about the most modern, current Human world you should honestly know more than him about.

Idealistic

Except not preachy. Because Umbra’s memories are scattered through an expansive amount of time, he can have some rather idealistic points of view. But it counter balances Serenity’s natural realistic point of views. He’s the one who keeps the group striving for something, even if it might be idealistic, he believes that there needs to be ambassadors for change.

Maybe that’s also his idealism speaking when he believes that they can be the ambassadors for change. While he is realistic about his idealism and doesn’t get carried away, he remembers many different eras of time, and thus he tries to adopt older views in a more modern view.

Being influenced by the modern world for four years has at least allowed him to see that his idealistic nature might need to be routed into different views. Umbra is not so idealistic that he won’t listen to anyone else. Mainly because he’s not self righteous like that.

He has a willing acceptance to learn and admit when he is wrong. But he tries to keep people to strive for more than simply the status quo.

Easy-going

If Serenity is overbearing and controlling, Umbra is quite the opposite. He takes everything at his own leisure and allows others as well. He’s not necessarily lazy, he simply takes his time. He’s efficient by being careful and detail oriented.

Not much really gets to Umbra, he seems unphased by a lot of things and doesn’t seem to persuaded by emotions or to get carried with emotions. It is easy then to simply write Umbra off as slow and lazy, but he is none of those things. He’s never so easy-going he will slack off. And he’s not slow because he’s lazy.

He has a very my pace attitude. Which makes projects, Serenity thinks that should be done in several hours, take Umbra a few days because he takes time to consider everything all at once.

He lets the others do whatever they want as long as it doesn’t impact someone too much. Or impact him in anyway that actually might get him upset. If you want someone to say yes to your insane ideas, it’s probably Umbra who will let you do it. Riko, can I cut up the curtains to make a cape. Umbra, if you’re going to do that make sure the curtains still look nice afterward.

Fearless

Being an ancient primordial void means that Umbra has little fear in the face of danger. He doesn’t sweat, but he really can’t sweat anyway he doesn’t have sweat pores to actually do that. [Umbra that’s just a word phrasing it doesn’t mean you actually sweat. Huh I didn’t consider that] It means that he boldly throws himself into the fray without the fear of death or the fear of feeling any pain.

He does things with a reckless abandon. Which can be his double edge sword.

In the most positive circumstances it means that Umbra will not flee or show cowardice when the team needs it most. Watching him stand in the face of an unrelenting enemy makes the others fight alongside with him with the same mental toughness Umbra shows.

In the worse case circumstances, it’s either an enemy Umbra will someday be unable to face, and get himself actually hurt. Or he may be leading the team astray with his idealist, fearless, recklessness because he forgets they do not have his fortitude.

Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Neo Is Delight
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@Neo Is Delight

I appreciate that you're being so respectful with this. It isn't an easy thing to do, by any means.


Yes, I try my hardest to be respectful and nice, even though sometimes I come off bitchy. Bitchy bunnies are not cute, and I prefer to stay cute.

Compared to the abilities of any of the others, it's actually pretty dang mundane. He's mostly only useful in a fight, and even then, he's mild support or average offense. If I were to nerf him, it'd make him nearly useless!

Allow me to give you some insight to my character:

Sparkle-Kinesis ~ Riko has the ability to produce glitter at will, and manipulate it. This glitter is very sparkly and adorable. Oh, and it probably hurts like hell when it gets in your eyes. Due to the nature of it, forming an actual weapon from it is impossible, but she can form balls of glitter, and throw them, or even create a storm of glitter to conceal herself and her allies. This glitter comes in many shades. She projects her balls of glitter through her wand, making it seem like this is the source of the glitter, throwing them by swinging the wand.

She throws glitter, it's nothing special, it doesn't catch on fire, it doesn't transmit diseases, it's just glitter. So, if you'd like to say giving such an OP ability weaknesses is 'nerfing' it and would make it 'useless', I'd like you to point out how it could get any more useless than being a walking bottle of glitter. Please, for the sake of fairness, give some weaknesses to your power, define it better. Can he cut himself before a battle, and an hour later, give that wound to someone else? Or does he have to transfer within a certain time of the wound forming.
Yes, skin contact might not be easy all the time, but the times it is, it's OP. You can't assume it's not an op ability based on a single situation. If he were to grab onto someone before inflicting damage upon himself, he could just instantly transfer them. There would be no impairment to his movements, because for some reason or another, he was already in contact.
Hidden 7 yrs ago Post by Tybalt Capulet
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@Neo Is Delight

Alright, I can concede that Glitter is a less dangerous ability, though I don't think it's less versatile.

For more details, it's pretty simple. Injuries, of any sort, can be transferred. That's it. The affects of his cancer can be transferred, though he doesn't transfer the disease itself. I still wouldn't call it op by any stretch. A bullet tot he dead, and he's done. He cuts himself too deeply, moves to slow? Dead. And, like I mentioned, it's pretty niche. He's not much use outside of a fight, and his personality prevents him from wanting to hurt anyone. He's more likely to be taking the injuries of more useful heroes onto himself, to keep them on their feet. He doesn't like pain much, either, which gives him a certain amount of unwillingness to, as you said "cut his own throat".
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