Tell Me Your Strange, Weird, Morbid Jokes. (AKA: Things we shouldn't laugh at, but do.)

[Sugar and Spite]

Go.

[Darth Shadow]

My mom always joking that I look like Lenin during the family gathering. My father side is an anti-Communist.

[gorgenmast]

Ethnic cleansing in Darfur in the mid-2000s! Haha! What a rip!

[tex]

Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?

Because...

He was viciously killed in a drive-by shooting. Seven bullet wounds, three to the head. The family was shocked to learn that he'd been selling drugs the entire time. They couldn't host an open-casket funeral. It wasn't because of the holes in his face. They were too ashamed to display a criminal for the family to mourn over. Billy was 21, but in his brother's eyes, he would always be 'little Billy' because he was 4 feet tall.

[Sugar and Spite]

Why did little billy drop his ice cream cone?

Because...

He was viciously killed in a drive-by shooting. Seven bullet wounds, three to the head. The family was shocked to learn that he'd been selling drugs the entire time. They couldn't host an open-casket funeral. It wasn't because of the holes in his face. They were too ashamed to display a criminal for the family to mourn over. Billy was 21, but in his brother's eyes, he would always be 'little Billy' because he was 4 feet tall.

@tex

That went from 0 to 100 really fast. xD

[Ladypug]

Two fish are in a tank. One goes "man how do we drive this thing?" The other goes "holy shit a talking fish!"

Both are then blown up by anti-tank artillery.

[Majoraa]

A mouse walks into an all-cat bar. He was never seen again after that.

It's quite a cat-tastrophe.

[tex]

A mouse walks into an all-cat bar. He was never seen again after that.

It's quite a cat-tastrophe.

@Majoras End

_{Nobody's going to get this reference}

[Fabricant451]

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school?

Hider

Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

[Bee]

Why didn't Johnny ride his bike to school?

Hider

Both of his legs were amputated. He can't ride a bike ever again.

@Fabricant451

fab what the fuck man

[Majoraa]

Flips through pages Ah, here's some good ones!

Two Hunters

Two hunters were walking through the forest one day. All of the sudden, one of them passes out. The other hunter panics and dials 911. The emergency responder says “911, whats your emergency?” The hunter replies “My friend just passed out and I don’t know what to do! I think he might be dead!” The emergency responder replies “Before you do anything, make sure he is dead.” The phone goes silent and then the responder hears a gunshot. The hunter gets back on the phone and says “Ok, now what?”

Bus Driver

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver,

Technology

When Jim was playing on his phone, my grandfather told him, “You use way too much technology!”. Jim then said, “No, YOU use too much technology!” and then Jim disconnected his grandfather’s life support.

[rush99999]

[RULE BREAKING CONTENT REDACTED]

"The Aristocrats".

[gorgenmast]

Our current president! Get it?! Because Donald Trump (aka Drumpf) is a strange, weird, morbid joke played on the American people! RESIST DRUMPF