1 Guest viewing this page
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

Hmm. I'm fine with either. Although I do have an idea. What if we start off on the first day, so we can get kind of established, and then transition into the The Hyperhuman Social Conscience Program. I keep imagining it kind of Danger Room-ish. :P The professor taking us somewhere to practice our powers. And then maybe we can time skip a few weeks in where we go on a field trip to some kind of power plant or something of the sort. Then a dangerous accident occurs, and the students have to use their powers to save people and themselves from the catastrophe. I don't know. Just ideas running in my head. Sorry. :P


No need to apologize, I like hearing what you're expecting and/or wanting from the RP. Lets me hone my plot a little bit more.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
Raw
Avatar of Aeolian

Aeolian Proud Fujoshi

Member Seen 1 day ago

<Snipped quote by Aeolian>

No need to apologize, I like hearing what you're expecting and/or wanting from the RP. Lets me hone my plot a little bit more.


Thank you.

I just thst I keep thinking of X-Men evolution and how fun some of their scenarios could be for us to re-imagine.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by PapaOso
Raw
Avatar of PapaOso

PapaOso

Member Seen 3 hrs ago

@Lord Wraith You're really tempting me with this one my friend! I may just have to come up with a CS in the near future lol.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>

Thank you.

I just thst I keep thinking of X-Men evolution and how fun some of their scenarios could be for us to re-imagine.


As much as I love X-Men Evolution, we'll be doing our own thing here and making ourselves a bit more unique than an X-Men homage.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

@Lord Wraith You're really tempting me with this one my friend! I may just have to come up with a CS in the near future lol.


Glad to hear it!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
Raw
Avatar of Aeolian

Aeolian Proud Fujoshi

Member Seen 1 day ago

<Snipped quote by Aeolian>

As much as I love X-Men Evolution, we'll be doing our own thing here and making ourselves a bit more unique than an X-Men homage.


That's probably for the best! ;)

Cheers!
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lionhearted
Raw
Avatar of Lionhearted

Lionhearted

Member Seen 11 days ago

@Lionhearted the characters tab is for sheets that have been reviewed and accepted only. Please remove your sheet and submit it to the OOC to be reviewed if you wish to apply for this game.

<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>


Edit: I’m a damn fool.


Baby, you scared me.

On a side note, to those who have been accepted:

Would you prefer that the IC begins on the first day of school, or would you rather be a week or more in to be established?


Either works for me! I do have some questions though.

Regarding the high school setting: what is the high school really known for? I know many high schools are known for their arts programs, or their sports programs, or they excel in one particular sport program. After establishing that, I think it'd give us a more clear understanding of what the student body is like! I know schools geared towards arts programs tend to have a lot less bullying when it comes to band geeks and such. And those that are known for their sports teams tend to have a lot more discrimination and feature a more cliche high school hierarchy.

ALSO, what exactly occurs during the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program? At the local high school here, they have what they call a 'Bridge Program' which is basically an entire wing of the school closed off for students that struggle within a large student body and the program features more 1 on 1 learning. Would it be similar to that or is it like a regimen of classes that are more or less extracurricular? If so, do they attend classes with normal students as well?
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

Either works for me! I do have some questions though.

Regarding the high school setting: what is the high school really known for? I know many high schools are known for their arts programs, or their sports programs, or they excel in one particular sport program. After establishing that, I think it'd give us a more clear understanding of what the student body is like! I know schools geared towards arts programs tend to have a lot less bullying when it comes to band geeks and such. And those that are known for their sports teams tend to have a lot more discrimination and feature a more cliche high school hierarchy.


I am a damned sadist in the way that Mather Memorial has always been envisioned as a modern but very much stereotypical athletics driven American school. In particular, I see football as the big sport on campus, with basketball and hockey rounding out the trinity of athletics. Jocks and cheerleaders definitely rule the school with art programs taking a back seat to athletics in terms of funding.

The Mather Memorial Ravens even have an annual hazing ritual where they take a freshman during homecoming and strap them up like a scarecrow for the night of the dance in a field not far from the school. The majority of the faculty and town, in general, turn a blind eye to this as the athletic teams win.

ALSO, what exactly occurs during the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program? At the local high school here, they have what they call a 'Bridge Program' which is basically an entire wing of the school closed off for students that struggle within a large student body and the program features more 1 on 1 learning. Would it be similar to that or is it like a regimen of classes that are more or less extracurricular? If so, do they attend classes with normal students as well?


While the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program will have a secluded classroom as detailed in the upcoming IC, it's more or less a single open class taking place at the end of the day. Any student is allowed to enroll, Hyperhuman or not as the idea of the program is to encourage community between Hypes and non-Hypes as well as a responsibility for Hyperhumans to take ownership and control over their gifts. Our characters are expected to attend regular classes throughout the remainder of the day. Keep in mind you don't have to be outed as a Hyperhuman, your character is allowed to hide their true nature from their peers out of fear of bullying or ostracization.
2x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
Raw
Avatar of Aeolian

Aeolian Proud Fujoshi

Member Seen 1 day ago

<Snipped quote by Lionhearted>

I am a damned sadist in the way that Mather Memorial has always been envisioned as a modern but very much stereotypical athletics driven American school. In particular, I see football as the big sport on campus, with basketball and hockey rounding out the trinity of athletics. Jocks and cheerleaders definitely rule the school with art programs taking a back seat to athletics in terms of funding.

The Mather Memorial Ravens even have an annual hazing ritual where they take a freshman during homecoming and strap them up like a scarecrow for the night of the dance in a field not far from the school. The majority of the faculty and town, in general, turn a blind eye to this as the athletic teams win.

<Snipped quote by Lionhearted>

While the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program will have a secluded classroom as detailed in the upcoming IC, it's more or less a single open class taking place at the end of the day. Any student is allowed to enroll, Hyperhuman or not as the idea of the program is to encourage community between Hypes and non-Hypes as well as a responsibility for Hyperhumans to take ownership and control over their gifts. Our characters are expected to attend regular classes throughout the remainder of the day. Keep in mind you don't have to be outed as a Hyperhuman, your character is allowed to hide their true nature from their peers out of fear of bullying or ostracization.


Honestly, I prefer it this way. I think it makes for a much more interesting and dramatic experience.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lionhearted
Raw
Avatar of Lionhearted

Lionhearted

Member Seen 11 days ago

<Snipped quote by Lionhearted>

I am a damned sadist in the way that Mather Memorial has always been envisioned as a modern but very much stereotypical athletics driven American school. In particular, I see football as the big sport on campus, with basketball and hockey rounding out the trinity of athletics. Jocks and cheerleaders definitely rule the school with art programs taking a back seat to athletics in terms of funding.

The Mather Memorial Ravens even have an annual hazing ritual where they take a freshman during homecoming and strap them up like a scarecrow for the night of the dance in a field not far from the school. The majority of the faculty and town, in general, turn a blind eye to this as the athletic teams win.

<Snipped quote by Lionhearted>

While the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program will have a secluded classroom as detailed in the upcoming IC, it's more or less a single open class taking place at the end of the day. Any student is allowed to enroll, Hyperhuman or not as the idea of the program is to encourage community between Hypes and non-Hypes as well as a responsibility for Hyperhumans to take ownership and control over their gifts. Our characters are expected to attend regular classes throughout the remainder of the day. Keep in mind you don't have to be outed as a Hyperhuman, your character is allowed to hide their true nature from their peers out of fear of bullying or ostracization.


Awesome! Well said! This definitely clears up so so much confusion!
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Red7VII
Raw
Avatar of Red7VII

Red7VII Magnificent Bastard

Member Seen 21 days ago

@Draven, I see you've removed your posts, are you withdrawing your interest?

@Ejected, likewise I noticed you've deleted your sheet, have you also withdrawn?


I'm heavily debating, and was not fully satisfied with my original CS. I like the idea of the game a great deal, but am trying to decide if I have enough time to dedicate to it. If I can confirm the latter, I would also want to refine my CS a bit more.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>

I'm heavily debating, and was not fully satisfied with my original CS. I like the idea of the game a great deal, but am trying to decide if I have enough time to dedicate to it. If I can confirm the latter, I would also want to refine my CS a bit more.


I appreciate the honesty and you getting back to me. If you find the time, we'll be here.
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Tackytaff
Raw
Avatar of Tackytaff

Tackytaff

Member Seen 1 day ago

Phew. I'm a bit rusty so am fully expecting to need a few changes. Even have a back up ability set in mind if the current one doesn't fit well with your theme.

Hopefully not completely full yet at least?

1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Roman
Raw
Avatar of Roman

Roman Grumpy Toad / King of Dirt

Member Seen 5 hrs ago



Wraith and I have had a quick discussion about Chloe and have both found ourselves taking issue with her powers.

Note that the powerset itself - i.e. the immovability/speed/unstoppability (that's not a word) - is great! It's neat, it's interesting, and personally I think it could be a lot of fun. However when it comes to the limitations Wraith and I both feel like you're talking about a completely different set of abilities. Her powers seem self-orientated, but her limitations talk about changing other objects (from what to what?), altering states of systems (What states? What systems?), and manipulating surfaces and objects (manipulating them how?). It almost feels like the limitations are coming copy/pasted from a completely different powerset. Additionally, I feel like her weaknesses are irrelevant to her power - the biggest weakness you've given her is a classic 'her power isn't durability-related, so that's a weakness', which is a big bugbear for me, and poor eyesight and kleptomania have nothing to do with the power itself.

Clarify the hell out of her powers - what she's capable of, what she's actually limited by - and give her some real weaknesses, and we're good to go.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Tackytaff
Raw
Avatar of Tackytaff

Tackytaff

Member Seen 1 day ago

<Snipped quote by Tackytaff>

Wraith and I have had a quick discussion about Chloe and have both found ourselves taking issue with her powers.

Note that the powerset itself - i.e. the immovability/speed/unstoppability (that's not a word) - is great! It's neat, it's interesting, and personally I think it could be a lot of fun. However when it comes to the limitations Wraith and I both feel like you're talking about a completely different set of abilities. Her powers seem self-orientated, but her limitations talk about changing other objects (from what to what?), altering states of systems (What states? What systems?), and manipulating surfaces and objects (manipulating them how?). It almost feels like the limitations are coming copy/pasted from a completely different powerset. Additionally, I feel like her weaknesses are irrelevant to her power - the biggest weakness you've given her is a classic 'her power isn't durability-related, so that's a weakness', which is a big bugbear for me, and poor eyesight and kleptomania have nothing to do with the power itself.

Clarify the hell out of her powers - what she's capable of, what she's actually limited by - and give her some real weaknesses, and we're good to go.


Maybe my wording wasn't as clear as I meant it to be. By system I just mean the relationship between two interacting surfaces, isolated from the surrounding area. What she's changing is the coefficients of friction between herself and a surface she is in contact with, in turn lowering or raising the kinetic energy needed to move her from any surface she's manipulating. Her powers could technically work for other people, though only one half of the 'system'(the surface she touched) would be 'changed' and thus would be about half as effective. Just talking about it this way opened my mind to new points for her limitations which I've hopefully cleared up a bit in the CS. As for weaknesses while I was going off of what most other people put down I have also added more.

While it's a power I've wanted to use for a while it's my first time putting it down on paper, so I'm happy to clarify any questions as they come. Granted trying to come up with explanations at 3am probably wasn't the best choice either so thanks for patience. Cheers.
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

@Tackytaff Alright, I think I understand a bit more now, just have a couple of questions of my own:

Tribokinesis. Chloe can manipulate the static and kinetic coefficients of friction between herself and any surface she comes into direct contact with. This can grant her both immovability along with movement at high speeds along just about any surface.
Hypheruman Ability

To my understanding, the main application of this ability will be super speed, but have you thought about other applications? Depending on the circumstances, increasing friction between two surfaces could create heat and thus allow Chloe to actually ignite surfaces. I know you touch on this in her weaknesses but I was wondering if you had any ideas on making it controllable or purposeful in the future. Her ability could also make her 'untouchable' at least in the same way that a greased pig is due to the fact she could slip out of the grasp of any would be captor or assailant. Not sure if those are developments you had in mind or would want to apply in the future, but just some ideas that came to mind when I was reading the sheet.

Chloe must be in direct contact with the surface/object she wishes to manipulate. Thus far she is only able to change solids and some liquids, she cannot adjust, drag or the needed energies in the air. Using her ability has side effects; most notably how gravity effects her. While applying greater friction between herself and surface her weight is increased due to the lowered normal force acting upon her while decreasing the coefficient would have the opposite effect. Additionally, her abilities require a great deal of focus, and as such she only able to alter the state of one system at a time.
Limitations

I have no real issue with the limitations however the line that I bolded took me a couple of tries to understand correctly and I'm not sure if it's just phrased awkwardly or if it's me. But I know this is the line that caused both Roman and I to do a double take in the first place. If I'm correct, what you're trying to say here is that 'Thus far she is only able to change the friction of solids and some liquids.' If that's the case, the addition of fiction might be a good idea to add to avoid any future confusion by other readers. The line in italics I'm just wondering if the comma is a type and if it should just be 'cannot adjust drag'. Beyond those two wording hiccups, the limitations look good to me.

For her powers, she is still extremely sustainable to the laws of physics; any sort of attempted movement in a 'high-friction' system she creates produces an incredible amount of energy resulting in heats too high for human tolerance, leaving her partially cooked. The resulting change of weight while using her ability results in a high susceptibility to gravity and outside forces. While in a more 'immovable state', greater effort is required just to keep herself upright and blood-flow becomes strained. In her more mobile states, so much as strong breeze could be enough to knock her off balance/course. She is no more durable than any other teenage girl. She suffers from nearsightedness, and refuses to wear glasses out of vanity. Suffers from a medium to strong case of kleptomania.
Weakness(es)

Weaknesses look pretty good now, just need to confirm with Roman when he pops back online but otherwise, I think it's good to go.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
Raw
Avatar of Aeolian

Aeolian Proud Fujoshi

Member Seen 1 day ago

@Prisk

Would you say Ben and Esther are neutral right now? Since Ben is new to the school and all. :P

@Lionhearted So how are we describing this? :P Neutral for the start right?




Does anyone else have any thoughts or ideas they'd like to share about their character and Benjamin?

Cheers!
1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Tackytaff
Raw
Avatar of Tackytaff

Tackytaff

Member Seen 1 day ago

To my understanding, the main application of this ability will be super speed, but have you thought about other applications? Depending on the circumstances, increasing friction between two surfaces could create heat and thus allow Chloe to actually ignite surfaces. I know you touch on this in her weaknesses but I was wondering if you had any ideas on making it controllable or purposeful in the future. Her ability could also make her 'untouchable' at least in the same way that a greased pig is due to the fact she could slip out of the grasp of any would be captor or assailant. Not sure if those are developments you had in mind or would want to apply in the future, but just some ideas that came to mind when I was reading the sheet.
Ability


Yepp the applications are kind of my favourite part, I didn't bother including all of them mostly because I doubt my ability to do so in one sitting. Once she actually figures out what the heck it is she's doing, she should be able to slip out of tight situations while never losing hold of anyone she herself captures, climb walls, even stopping bullets if she ever managed to manipulate drag. For ignition I have toyed with the possibility and while I'd like for it to eventually come up, she herself has no heat resistance and with the need for 'direct contact' doing something like that would probably burn her as much as any opponent, but I'm glad you're open to more uses than 'sticky&slippery'.

I have no real issue with the limitations however the line that I bolded took me a couple of tries to understand correctly and I'm not sure if it's just phrased awkwardly or if it's me. But I know this is the line that caused both Roman and I to do a double take in the first place. If I'm correct, what you're trying to say here is that 'Thus far she is only able to change the friction of solids and some liquids.' If that's the case, the addition of fiction might be a good idea to add to avoid any future confusion by other readers. The line in italics I'm just wondering if the comma is a type and if it should just be 'cannot adjust drag'. Beyond those two wording hiccups, the limitations look good to me.
Limitations


I type good. Yes I see the confusion, took out the bolded part and the comma, "can't do air stuff" should be clear enough I hope.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 6 yrs ago Post by Lord Wraith
Raw
GM
Avatar of Lord Wraith

Lord Wraith Actually Three Otters in a Trenchcoat

Member Online

@Odin As promised, some commentary on your sheet.

The first thing that attracted me to your sheet personally is the amount of detail presented in your abilities section. As that is a very key component of the RP and due to the effort that I myself put into designing Hyperhumans and how their abilities work, I love seeing someone else put that same effort into explaining their character's abilities. The ability section covers not only how Jiao's gifts work but also discusses them and lends itself to explaining development and applications. The limitations and weaknesses are also equally thought out and everything is well said, no leaps in logic required to follow your thought process.

His skills stand out, like his abilities they are well detailed and lend themselves to helping explain the character and your characterization of him. This is particularly noteworthy with his final skill of dissimulation. The appearance description isn't long or wordy, not that it has to be. You've clearly and concisely described Jiao's appearance in a way that doesn't repeat the other information on the sheet but rather enhances it to give a fuller picture.

Jiao's backstory is sweet and concise, it doesn't waste details nor does it lack them. There's still plenty about Jiao that can be discovered in the IC but nothing that's apparently lacking or would make the reader wonder about the character. His personality sets him apart from other characters in the RP and I fully expect him to cause nothing but friction but that's a reason why he was accepted because he does have a three-dimensional personality and it only further enhances the cast which for the most part is made up of less abrasive people.
1x Like Like
Hidden 6 yrs ago 6 yrs ago Post by Aeolian
Raw
Avatar of Aeolian

Aeolian Proud Fujoshi

Member Seen 1 day ago

@Lord Wraith I love your analysis of Jiao. Me next. Me next! :P

I'm not nearly as experienced here as the other writers, but I'd like feedback as well. Especially considering my initial power had complications during the review process.

Cheers!
↑ Top
1 Guest viewing this page
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet