Hmm. I'm fine with either. Although I do have an idea. What if we start off on the first day, so we can get kind of established, and then transition into the The Hyperhuman Social Conscience Program. I keep imagining it kind of Danger Room-ish. :P The professor taking us somewhere to practice our powers. And then maybe we can time skip a few weeks in where we go on a field trip to some kind of power plant or something of the sort. Then a dangerous accident occurs, and the students have to use their powers to save people and themselves from the catastrophe. I don't know. Just ideas running in my head. Sorry. :P
No need to apologize, I like hearing what you're expecting and/or wanting from the RP. Lets me hone my plot a little bit more.
@Lionhearted the characters tab is for sheets that have been reviewed and accepted only. Please remove your sheet and submit it to the OOC to be reviewed if you wish to apply for this game.
<Snipped quote by Lord Wraith>
Edit: I’m a damn fool.
Baby, you scared me.
On a side note, to those who have been accepted:
Would you prefer that the IC begins on the first day of school, or would you rather be a week or more in to be established?
Either works for me! I do have some questions though.
Regarding the high school setting: what is the high school really known for? I know many high schools are known for their arts programs, or their sports programs, or they excel in one particular sport program. After establishing that, I think it'd give us a more clear understanding of what the student body is like! I know schools geared towards arts programs tend to have a lot less bullying when it comes to band geeks and such. And those that are known for their sports teams tend to have a lot more discrimination and feature a more cliche high school hierarchy.
ALSO, what exactly occurs during the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program? At the local high school here, they have what they call a 'Bridge Program' which is basically an entire wing of the school closed off for students that struggle within a large student body and the program features more 1 on 1 learning. Would it be similar to that or is it like a regimen of classes that are more or less extracurricular? If so, do they attend classes with normal students as well?
Either works for me! I do have some questions though.
Regarding the high school setting: what is the high school really known for? I know many high schools are known for their arts programs, or their sports programs, or they excel in one particular sport program. After establishing that, I think it'd give us a more clear understanding of what the student body is like! I know schools geared towards arts programs tend to have a lot less bullying when it comes to band geeks and such. And those that are known for their sports teams tend to have a lot more discrimination and feature a more cliche high school hierarchy.
I am a damned sadist in the way that Mather Memorial has always been envisioned as a modern but very much stereotypical athletics driven American school. In particular, I see football as the big sport on campus, with basketball and hockey rounding out the trinity of athletics. Jocks and cheerleaders definitely rule the school with art programs taking a back seat to athletics in terms of funding.
The Mather Memorial Ravens even have an annual hazing ritual where they take a freshman during homecoming and strap them up like a scarecrow for the night of the dance in a field not far from the school. The majority of the faculty and town, in general, turn a blind eye to this as the athletic teams win.
ALSO, what exactly occurs during the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program? At the local high school here, they have what they call a 'Bridge Program' which is basically an entire wing of the school closed off for students that struggle within a large student body and the program features more 1 on 1 learning. Would it be similar to that or is it like a regimen of classes that are more or less extracurricular? If so, do they attend classes with normal students as well?
While the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program will have a secluded classroom as detailed in the upcoming IC, it's more or less a single open class taking place at the end of the day. Any student is allowed to enroll, Hyperhuman or not as the idea of the program is to encourage community between Hypes and non-Hypes as well as a responsibility for Hyperhumans to take ownership and control over their gifts. Our characters are expected to attend regular classes throughout the remainder of the day. Keep in mind you don't have to be outed as a Hyperhuman, your character is allowed to hide their true nature from their peers out of fear of bullying or ostracization.
I am a damned sadist in the way that Mather Memorial has always been envisioned as a modern but very much stereotypical athletics driven American school. In particular, I see football as the big sport on campus, with basketball and hockey rounding out the trinity of athletics. Jocks and cheerleaders definitely rule the school with art programs taking a back seat to athletics in terms of funding.
The Mather Memorial Ravens even have an annual hazing ritual where they take a freshman during homecoming and strap them up like a scarecrow for the night of the dance in a field not far from the school. The majority of the faculty and town, in general, turn a blind eye to this as the athletic teams win.
<Snipped quote by Lionhearted>
While the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program will have a secluded classroom as detailed in the upcoming IC, it's more or less a single open class taking place at the end of the day. Any student is allowed to enroll, Hyperhuman or not as the idea of the program is to encourage community between Hypes and non-Hypes as well as a responsibility for Hyperhumans to take ownership and control over their gifts. Our characters are expected to attend regular classes throughout the remainder of the day. Keep in mind you don't have to be outed as a Hyperhuman, your character is allowed to hide their true nature from their peers out of fear of bullying or ostracization.
Honestly, I prefer it this way. I think it makes for a much more interesting and dramatic experience.
I am a damned sadist in the way that Mather Memorial has always been envisioned as a modern but very much stereotypical athletics driven American school. In particular, I see football as the big sport on campus, with basketball and hockey rounding out the trinity of athletics. Jocks and cheerleaders definitely rule the school with art programs taking a back seat to athletics in terms of funding.
The Mather Memorial Ravens even have an annual hazing ritual where they take a freshman during homecoming and strap them up like a scarecrow for the night of the dance in a field not far from the school. The majority of the faculty and town, in general, turn a blind eye to this as the athletic teams win.
<Snipped quote by Lionhearted>
While the Hyperhuman Social Conscious Program will have a secluded classroom as detailed in the upcoming IC, it's more or less a single open class taking place at the end of the day. Any student is allowed to enroll, Hyperhuman or not as the idea of the program is to encourage community between Hypes and non-Hypes as well as a responsibility for Hyperhumans to take ownership and control over their gifts. Our characters are expected to attend regular classes throughout the remainder of the day. Keep in mind you don't have to be outed as a Hyperhuman, your character is allowed to hide their true nature from their peers out of fear of bullying or ostracization.
Awesome! Well said! This definitely clears up so so much confusion!
@Draven, I see you've removed your posts, are you withdrawing your interest?
@Ejected, likewise I noticed you've deleted your sheet, have you also withdrawn?
I'm heavily debating, and was not fully satisfied with my original CS. I like the idea of the game a great deal, but am trying to decide if I have enough time to dedicate to it. If I can confirm the latter, I would also want to refine my CS a bit more.
I'm heavily debating, and was not fully satisfied with my original CS. I like the idea of the game a great deal, but am trying to decide if I have enough time to dedicate to it. If I can confirm the latter, I would also want to refine my CS a bit more.
I appreciate the honesty and you getting back to me. If you find the time, we'll be here.
Phew. I'm a bit rusty so am fully expecting to need a few changes. Even have a back up ability set in mind if the current one doesn't fit well with your theme.
• Eye Colour | Dark Brown //Piercings/Tattoos/Scars: • Pierced | Single piercings in each ear.
Abilities, Skills and Resources ___________________________________
//Abiliites: • Hyperhuman Ability | Tribokinesis. Chloe can manipulate the static and kinetic coefficients of friction between herself and any surface she comes into direct contact with. This can grant her both immovability along with movement at high speeds along just about any surface.
• Limitation(s) | Chloe must be in direct contact with the surface/object she wishes to manipulate. Thus far she cannot adjust drag or the needed energies in the air. Using her ability has side effects; most notably how gravity effects her. While applying greater friction between herself and surface her weight is increased due to the lowered normal force acting upon her while decreasing the coefficient would have the opposite effect. Additionally her abilities require a great deal of focus, and as such she only able to alter the state of one system at a time.
• Weakness(es) | For her powers, she is still extremely sustainable to the laws of physics; any sort of attempted movement in a 'high-friction' system she creates produces an incredible amount of energy resulting in heats too high for human tolerance, leaving her partially cooked. The resulting change of weight while using her ability results in a high susceptibility to gravity and outside forces. While in a more 'immovable state', greater effort is required just to keep herself upright and blood-flow becomes strained. In her more mobile states, so much as strong breeze could be enough to knock her off balance/course. She is no more durable than any other teenage girl. She suffers from nearsightedness, and refuses to wear glasses out of vanity. Suffers from a medium to strong case of kleptomania.
//Skills: • Stealing | Chloe has made a habit of thievery and shoplifting over the past year and thus far has been caught only twice with few repercussions other than getting better. • Memory | While not exceptional or photographic, Chloe's ability to recall information and details is still impressive, especially for a teenage.
//Paraphernalia: • Wallet | Contains her ID and bank cards along with about 80 dollars in cash • Second Wallet | Another wallet containing the ID of her chemistry teacher and another 70 dollars in cash. • Smartphone | A phone. • Sidebag | Refusing to carry something as horrible as a backpack, Chloe perfers to carry her books around in a large shoulder bag. • Glasses | Indistinct wire-frames buried deep somewhere in the bottom of one her bags. Probably.
Appearance Details ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
Chloe towers over the other girls and half the boys in her year. Whatever insecurities she had in her youth have vanished and she presents herself with the confidence of what she is; damn hot. Her style isn't modest; favoring expensive and unique clothing, often uncomfortable and unsuitable for small town living.
Character Synopsis ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
Born and raised in Crestwood Hollow, there wasn't anything about Chloe that made her exceptional. As a child she was smart enough, but plain and painfully shy to the point where even those who'd gone to school with her since kindergarten were hard pressed to remember who exactly she was come each September. As much a blessing as a curse, Chloe's childhood was spent isolated, free of both friends and tormentors. Her family did their best to fill the void. Her mother, Harriet Bronse worked in the middle school as a secretary and her father Curt Bronse, was part of the City's port administration. To them Chloe was something of a miracle for even having been born, and they doted on her enough that she rarely felt the lack connection to her own peers.
She remained the invisible ugly duckling of the Hollow until part way into her sophomore year. Not that things got better right away; the sudden change in her height left her gangly and clumsy; just awkward enough to draw attention. High-schoolers aren't known for their kindness, and they latched to Chloe without mercy. Her smarts, her body, her hair was all fair in the game of torment. Her clothes in particular, which she seemed to grow out of by the month, and more often than not were found in charity stores to keep up with her demand, were a constant source of amusement for others. The already trying time was aggravated when another 'miracle' joined the family by way of a younger brother Thomas, and the only two people she relied on in her life became too busy to help her through high-school troubles.
That was the year she began stealing. Only small things at first; a lipgloss from the drugstore two blocks from her family's apartment, or a pair of earrings from the juvenile jewelry store. Eventually her petty crimes escalated to entire mall raids, where she managed to get a summer job at a clothing store. She came back to school completely transformed. Her body had finally caught up with itself and filled out nicely, her braces were removed and once frizzy hair had smoothed into full wild curls, and of course, her new wardrobe. In no time a very different sort of attention fell on her.
Junior year quickly became the best year of her life; aside from one or two run-ins with local law enforcement, it seemed nothing could go wrong for Chloe. She found herself turning away friendships with girls who had once mocked her and thrived on the petty feeling of justice it gave her. Her confidence blossomed shortly after her beauty and she was changed completely. Her grades slipped for a time, but platitude at a respectably high B, allowing her to pursue an offer from a modeling scout for a winter fashion week in New York.
The revelation of her abilities didn't occur until the very end of junior year. It wasn't any traumatic even or grand display. One morning she simply couldn't get up out of bed. First she had though she was still in whatever nightmare had plagued her in the first place, but as the sun rose and she remained immobile she realized something was terribly wrong. As soon as the new class in hyper-human studies was announced over the summer, Chloe signed up for the credit offering little to no explanation to anyone who asked.
Personality ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
For most her life, Chloe was the nice girl. Not that many people remember those days, back when she practically blended into the walls. She didn't do much to change it; remaining quiet and bookish enough to go unnoticed throughout middle-school and her freshman year. Then after the awkward year of being 15, Chloe's personality was remade as much as her appearance. She remains bitter from the loneliness of her younger years and resents most any of the classmates that have approached her in the name of friendship ever since. As such Chloe has largely remained aloof and isolated among her peers; only now they all notice.
Miscellaneous ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
A younger brother Thomas, aged 1 year old. Lives in a small two-bedroom appartment above a laundromat with her parents a few blocks west of the Port's boardwalk. While she's managed to talk her way of of getting a proper criminal record, a few of the local police are slightly more wary of her.
• Eye Colour | Dark Brown //Piercings/Tattoos/Scars: • Pierced | Single piercings in each ear.
Abilities, Skills and Resources ___________________________________
//Abiliites: • Hyperhuman Ability | Tribokinesis. Chloe can manipulate the static and kinetic friction of her surroundings. This allows her to remain immovable on any surface, or incredibly fast on others
• Limitation(s) | Chloe must be in direct contact with the surface/object she wishes to manipulate. Thus far she is only able to change solids and some liquids, she cannot slow or speed up objects in the air. Additionally her abilities require a great deal of focus, and as such she only able to alter the state of one system at a time, and even then is rather preoccupied doing so.
• Weakness(es) | She is no more durable than any other teenage girl. She is aslo rather near-sighted, and refuses to wear glasses out of vanity. Suffers from a mild to strong case of kleptomania. //Skills: • Stealing | Chloe has made a habit of thievery and shoplifting over the past year and thus far has been caught only twice with few repercussions other than getting better. • Memory | While not exceptional or photographic, Chloe's ability to recall information and details is still impressive, especially for a teenage. //Paraphernalia: • Wallet | Contains her ID and bank cards along with about 80 dollars in cash • Second Wallet | Another wallet containing the ID of her chemistry teacher and another 70 dollars in cash. • Smartphone | A phone. • Sidebag | Refusing to carry something as horrible as a backpack, Chloe perfers to carry her books around in a large shoulder bag. • Glasses | Indistinct wire-frames buried deep somewhere in the bottom of one her bags. Probably.
Appearance Details ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
Chloe towers over the other girls and half the boys in her year. Whatever insecurities she had in her youth have vanished and she presents herself with the confidence of what she is; damn hot. Her style isn't modest; favoring expensive and unique clothing, often uncomfortable and unsuitable for small town living.
Character Synopsis ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
Born and raised in Crestwood Hollow, there wasn't anything about Chloe that made her exceptional. As a child she was smart enough, but plain and painfully shy to the point where even those who'd gone to school with her since kindergarten were hard pressed to remember who exactly she was come each September. As much a blessing as a curse, Chloe's childhood was spent isolated, free of both friends and tormentors. Her family did their best to fill the void. Her mother, Harriet Bronse worked in the middle school as a secretary and her father Curt Bronse, was part of the City's port administration. To them Chloe was something of a miracle for even having been born, and they doted on her enough that she rarely felt the lack connection to her own peers.
She remained the invisible ugly duckling of the Hollow until part way into her sophomore year. Not that things got better right away; the sudden change in her height left her gangly and clumsy; just awkward enough to draw attention. High-schoolers aren't known for their kindness, and they latched to Chloe without mercy. Her smarts, her body, her hair was all fair in the game of torment. Her clothes in particular, which she seemed to grow out of by the month, and more often than not were found in charity stores to keep up with her demand, were a constant source of amusement for others. The already trying time was aggravated when another 'miracle' joined the family by way of a younger brother Thomas, and the only two people she relied on in her life became too busy to help her through high-school troubles.
That was the year she began stealing. Only small things at first; a lipgloss from the drugstore two blocks from her family's apartment, or a pair of earrings from the juvenile jewelry store. Eventually her petty crimes escalated to entire mall raids, where she managed to get a summer job at a clothing store. She came back to school completely transformed. Her body had finally caught up with itself and filled out nicely, her braces were removed and once frizzy hair had smoothed into full wild curls, and of course, her new wardrobe. In no time a very different sort of attention fell on her.
Junior year quickly became the best year of her life; aside from one or two run-ins with local law enforcement, it seemed nothing could go wrong for Chloe. She found herself turning away friendships with girls who had once mocked her and thrived on the petty feeling of justice it gave her. Her confidence blossomed shortly after her beauty and she was changed completely. Her grades slipped for a time, but platitude at a respectably high B, allowing her to pursue an offer from a modeling scout for a winter fashion week in New York.
The revelation of her abilities didn't occur until the very end of junior year. It wasn't any traumatic even or grand display. One morning she simply couldn't get up out of bed. First she had though she was still in whatever nightmare had plagued her in the first place, but as the sun rose and she remained immobile she realized something was terribly wrong. As soon as the new class in hyper-human studies was announced over the summer, Chloe signed up for the credit offering little to no explanation to anyone who asked.
Personality ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
For most her life, Chloe was the nice girl. Not that many people remember those days, back when she practically blended into the walls. She didn't do much to change it; remaining quiet and bookish enough to go unnoticed throughout middle-school and her freshman year. Then after the awkward year of being 15, Chloe's personality was remade as much as her appearance. She remains bitter from the loneliness of her younger years and resents most any of the classmates that have approached her in the name of friendship ever since. As such Chloe has largely remained aloof and isolated among her peers; only now they all notice.
Miscellaneous ▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔
A younger brother Thomas, aged 1 year old. Lives in a small two-bedroom appartment above a laundromat with her parents a few blocks west of the Port's boardwalk. While she's managed to talk her way of of getting a proper criminal record, a few of the local police are slightly more wary of her.
Wraith and I have had a quick discussion about Chloe and have both found ourselves taking issue with her powers.
Note that the powerset itself - i.e. the immovability/speed/unstoppability (that's not a word) - is great! It's neat, it's interesting, and personally I think it could be a lot of fun. However when it comes to the limitations Wraith and I both feel like you're talking about a completely different set of abilities. Her powers seem self-orientated, but her limitations talk about changing other objects (from what to what?), altering states of systems (What states? What systems?), and manipulating surfaces and objects (manipulating them how?). It almost feels like the limitations are coming copy/pasted from a completely different powerset. Additionally, I feel like her weaknesses are irrelevant to her power - the biggest weakness you've given her is a classic 'her power isn't durability-related, so that's a weakness', which is a big bugbear for me, and poor eyesight and kleptomania have nothing to do with the power itself.
Clarify the hell out of her powers - what she's capable of, what she's actually limited by - and give her some real weaknesses, and we're good to go.
Wraith and I have had a quick discussion about Chloe and have both found ourselves taking issue with her powers.
Note that the powerset itself - i.e. the immovability/speed/unstoppability (that's not a word) - is great! It's neat, it's interesting, and personally I think it could be a lot of fun. However when it comes to the limitations Wraith and I both feel like you're talking about a completely different set of abilities. Her powers seem self-orientated, but her limitations talk about changing other objects (from what to what?), altering states of systems (What states? What systems?), and manipulating surfaces and objects (manipulating them how?). It almost feels like the limitations are coming copy/pasted from a completely different powerset. Additionally, I feel like her weaknesses are irrelevant to her power - the biggest weakness you've given her is a classic 'her power isn't durability-related, so that's a weakness', which is a big bugbear for me, and poor eyesight and kleptomania have nothing to do with the power itself.
Clarify the hell out of her powers - what she's capable of, what she's actually limited by - and give her some real weaknesses, and we're good to go.
Maybe my wording wasn't as clear as I meant it to be. By system I just mean the relationship between two interacting surfaces, isolated from the surrounding area. What she's changing is the coefficients of friction between herself and a surface she is in contact with, in turn lowering or raising the kinetic energy needed to move her from any surface she's manipulating. Her powers could technically work for other people, though only one half of the 'system'(the surface she touched) would be 'changed' and thus would be about half as effective. Just talking about it this way opened my mind to new points for her limitations which I've hopefully cleared up a bit in the CS. As for weaknesses while I was going off of what most other people put down I have also added more.
While it's a power I've wanted to use for a while it's my first time putting it down on paper, so I'm happy to clarify any questions as they come. Granted trying to come up with explanations at 3am probably wasn't the best choice either so thanks for patience. Cheers.
@Tackytaff Alright, I think I understand a bit more now, just have a couple of questions of my own:
Tribokinesis. Chloe can manipulate the static and kinetic coefficients of friction between herself and any surface she comes into direct contact with. This can grant her both immovability along with movement at high speeds along just about any surface.
To my understanding, the main application of this ability will be super speed, but have you thought about other applications? Depending on the circumstances, increasing friction between two surfaces could create heat and thus allow Chloe to actually ignite surfaces. I know you touch on this in her weaknesses but I was wondering if you had any ideas on making it controllable or purposeful in the future. Her ability could also make her 'untouchable' at least in the same way that a greased pig is due to the fact she could slip out of the grasp of any would be captor or assailant. Not sure if those are developments you had in mind or would want to apply in the future, but just some ideas that came to mind when I was reading the sheet.
Chloe must be in direct contact with the surface/object she wishes to manipulate. Thus far she is only able to change solids and some liquids, she cannot adjust, drag or the needed energies in the air. Using her ability has side effects; most notably how gravity effects her. While applying greater friction between herself and surface her weight is increased due to the lowered normal force acting upon her while decreasing the coefficient would have the opposite effect. Additionally, her abilities require a great deal of focus, and as such she only able to alter the state of one system at a time.
I have no real issue with the limitations however the line that I bolded took me a couple of tries to understand correctly and I'm not sure if it's just phrased awkwardly or if it's me. But I know this is the line that caused both Roman and I to do a double take in the first place. If I'm correct, what you're trying to say here is that 'Thus far she is only able to change the friction of solids and some liquids.' If that's the case, the addition of fiction might be a good idea to add to avoid any future confusion by other readers. The line in italics I'm just wondering if the comma is a type and if it should just be 'cannot adjust drag'. Beyond those two wording hiccups, the limitations look good to me.
For her powers, she is still extremely sustainable to the laws of physics; any sort of attempted movement in a 'high-friction' system she creates produces an incredible amount of energy resulting in heats too high for human tolerance, leaving her partially cooked. The resulting change of weight while using her ability results in a high susceptibility to gravity and outside forces. While in a more 'immovable state', greater effort is required just to keep herself upright and blood-flow becomes strained. In her more mobile states, so much as strong breeze could be enough to knock her off balance/course. She is no more durable than any other teenage girl. She suffers from nearsightedness, and refuses to wear glasses out of vanity. Suffers from a medium to strong case of kleptomania.
Weaknesses look pretty good now, just need to confirm with Roman when he pops back online but otherwise, I think it's good to go.
To my understanding, the main application of this ability will be super speed, but have you thought about other applications? Depending on the circumstances, increasing friction between two surfaces could create heat and thus allow Chloe to actually ignite surfaces. I know you touch on this in her weaknesses but I was wondering if you had any ideas on making it controllable or purposeful in the future. Her ability could also make her 'untouchable' at least in the same way that a greased pig is due to the fact she could slip out of the grasp of any would be captor or assailant. Not sure if those are developments you had in mind or would want to apply in the future, but just some ideas that came to mind when I was reading the sheet.
Yepp the applications are kind of my favourite part, I didn't bother including all of them mostly because I doubt my ability to do so in one sitting. Once she actually figures out what the heck it is she's doing, she should be able to slip out of tight situations while never losing hold of anyone she herself captures, climb walls, even stopping bullets if she ever managed to manipulate drag. For ignition I have toyed with the possibility and while I'd like for it to eventually come up, she herself has no heat resistance and with the need for 'direct contact' doing something like that would probably burn her as much as any opponent, but I'm glad you're open to more uses than 'sticky&slippery'.
I have no real issue with the limitations however the line that I bolded took me a couple of tries to understand correctly and I'm not sure if it's just phrased awkwardly or if it's me. But I know this is the line that caused both Roman and I to do a double take in the first place. If I'm correct, what you're trying to say here is that 'Thus far she is only able to change the friction of solids and some liquids.' If that's the case, the addition of fiction might be a good idea to add to avoid any future confusion by other readers. The line in italics I'm just wondering if the comma is a type and if it should just be 'cannot adjust drag'. Beyond those two wording hiccups, the limitations look good to me.
I type good. Yes I see the confusion, took out the bolded part and the comma, "can't do air stuff" should be clear enough I hope.
The first thing that attracted me to your sheet personally is the amount of detail presented in your abilities section. As that is a very key component of the RP and due to the effort that I myself put into designing Hyperhumans and how their abilities work, I love seeing someone else put that same effort into explaining their character's abilities. The ability section covers not only how Jiao's gifts work but also discusses them and lends itself to explaining development and applications. The limitations and weaknesses are also equally thought out and everything is well said, no leaps in logic required to follow your thought process.
His skills stand out, like his abilities they are well detailed and lend themselves to helping explain the character and your characterization of him. This is particularly noteworthy with his final skill of dissimulation. The appearance description isn't long or wordy, not that it has to be. You've clearly and concisely described Jiao's appearance in a way that doesn't repeat the other information on the sheet but rather enhances it to give a fuller picture.
Jiao's backstory is sweet and concise, it doesn't waste details nor does it lack them. There's still plenty about Jiao that can be discovered in the IC but nothing that's apparently lacking or would make the reader wonder about the character. His personality sets him apart from other characters in the RP and I fully expect him to cause nothing but friction but that's a reason why he was accepted because he does have a three-dimensional personality and it only further enhances the cast which for the most part is made up of less abrasive people.
@Lord Wraith I love your analysis of Jiao. Me next. Me next! :P
I'm not nearly as experienced here as the other writers, but I'd like feedback as well. Especially considering my initial power had complications during the review process.