[IC] Amnesia [Suki & Summer]

[Rogue Sloth]

“It might be,” Cas grinned at Iris flirtatiously. Usually, when his friends joked about him giving them “orders” he would roll his eyes at them in response. He’d never liked the thought of taking charge because he was convinced the skill didn’t come naturally to him. He also liked to try to forget about his eventual duty of becoming king whenever he had the chance to feign ignorance. However, the way Iris said it made a thrill of excitement shoot up his spine, and he was happy to play along with her game. Laying on the sofa with her, limbs and bodies intertwined with only the scantiest layer of clothing to keep them apart, was probably the only situation in which he felt comfortable enough to add in a low murmur, “Consider it a direct order from your future king.”

In truth, he was still teetering on the fence when it came to his decision of whether to return to his father or not. There was a possibility that he would abdicate his responsibility if Atlas refused to treat him like a competent man who could make his own decisions. After all, he was sick and tired of letting the reigning monarch treat him like a child, and he was no longer afraid of choosing to put his sanity before the duties that he was expected to fill. He didn’t want to think about that now though, and the thought didn’t cross his mind as he made the playful jest to Iris. Right now, the rest of Aspiria didn’t exist. There was only the two of them and the luxury suite they’d hidden away in for the night.

When she pouted at him, he laughed, knowing that he’d caught her in her bluff even though she made one last feeble attempt to pretend like she wasn’t interested in what he was doing. “Bull… shit,” he called her out between quick pecks on her cheek, then closed his eyes as she leaned up to meet his lips in a deeper kiss. Her rough touch against his back elicited a low, throaty sigh from him, and he clutched at her desirously, less gentle with his own grip at her waist and neck. Everything she did drove him crazy, and he could hardly stand to leave her undergarments in place. He was already reaching for the lower pair when she broke the kiss to speak again.

“I haven’t had the faintest idea what’s on that screen for at least the last ten minutes,” he readily admitted and then smirked at her wryly. “But I’m not the tease who’s pretending like that movie is more fun than what we’re doing now.” As she trailed kisses from his jaw to his shoulder, he held his breath, his heart knocking against his ribs with renewed anticipation. He loved how desired she made him feel even before they went further, and he couldn’t wait to return the favor by showering her with all of his attention physically.

At her final challenge, he met her gaze, his last thread of self-control splitting, and whispered back, “I’ll show you just how adventurous I can be.” Disregarding the bedroom on the floor above their heads, he leaned in to kiss her again, more passionately this time, and tangled his fingers in her long hair. The movie droned on behind them as he lost himself to his addiction to her and carried things forward without moving from the sofa…

[sukikyoufu]

Iris couldn’t pinpoint the moment that she had ended back up in the bed with Cas, but by the time morning had come around she found her body felt heavy thoroughly exhausted from all the activities the night had thrown upon them. Well and truly her energy was spent so it was no surprise at how soundly she slept in the bed for once, a soft smile upon her face as the sunlight started to seep into the room. It had been the first night in a long time she had rested so peacefully, no hint of a nightmare plaguing her sleep and she didn’t fear falling asleep in front of Cas. That and for once she just couldn’t keep up, the good food, the night of pleasure and good company was enough to help anyone lull into a peaceful night’s sleep.

The warmth of the sunlight touched her face and the warmth of a body she was curled against was enough to keep her warm as she could vaguely feel he cool air against her bare shoulders. The tangled sheets wrapped haphazardly around her naked form as her grip tightened around the body she was holding, arm draped comfortably around his chest. This had been something she had needed for a long while, a good night’s rest as the lack of sleep had been catching up on her even if she had ignored it. Naturally she was one to not focus on her own wellbeing because she was too concerned for others and she honestly felt like she could deal with it all herself, even if that was not the care anymore.

As the morning light seeped through Iris felt herself stir only to mumble something noncoherently as she buried her head into Caspians chest in hopes she could stay asleep enjoying the comfort and warmth of where she was. “Five more minutes….” Mumbling to no one in particular as she was still in a half-asleep state, she kept her eyes firmly shut lacking in energy and motivation to even get out of bed.

It was short lived though because her mind had become more awake it only prompted her to actually wake up unable to just fall back into the wonderful sleep she was enjoying. Pouting to herself she rubbed her eyes unable to stop the yawn as she slowly pushed herself up in the bed, still feeling tired even though she had rest. The cover slipped from her skin as she looked down at Cas unable to stop the smile on her face accompanied with pink tinged cheeks as the memories of last night burned the back of her mind. “Good morning.” Whispering softly as she reached out caressing his cheek gently completely infatuated by him and still reeling from the events of last night.

“Did you sleep well?” It seemed like a silly question but she wanted to make sure he had gotten plenty of rest too, who knew what would be thrown at them today especially as by now they would have realised the Prince was missing once more. It was also rather nice to sleep in a bed for once, she was growing tired of the sofa back at the Kinders place, but again she never would have voiced something like that as she was lucky to even have a place to stay at the time.

[Rogue Sloth]

Despite staying true to his promise to rewind the movie for Iris, Caspian didn’t remember the rest of it or anything else that happened outside of his fixation on her that night. After they relieved the tension between them on the sofa, he enjoyed holding her in his arms, spooning until he fell asleep while the film was still running. The combined lull of her warm body and the bliss of having her again dragged him into a sound nap, and he didn’t wake up again until ten minutes before the movie ended. Once the credits started rolling though, he mustered up enough energy to bring her upstairs to the bedroom for one more demonstration of his “adventurous” streak before he was fully spent for the day and promptly passed out with her still cradled in his loose embrace.

The eight hours of sleep that followed were some of the most restful of his life. He slumbered deeply, lying still except for the occasional twitch of a leg or arm and the flutter of his eyes behind their lids as idle dreams passed through his subconsciousness. Even when the hazy morning sunlight began to filter in through the bedroom curtains the next day, he was too far gone to stir until she shifted against his chest. Distantly, he heard her mumble something, but he was too tired to process her words. He groaned lazily into his pillow instead, adjusting one leg in the tangle of sheets to drape more comfortably over her calf as he settled down to go back to sleep. It felt too early to get up. He didn’t want to move from the bed until he absolutely had to.

So, when she sat up beside him, Cas didn’t open his eyes until she greeted him with a ‘good morning.’ He yawned broadly and brought one hand up to rub his eyes with the heel of his palm, glancing up at her with a tired smile. “‘Morning,” he mumbled, studying her visage in the soft light as she caressed his stubbled cheek. He still marveled that this woman wanted to be with him. Somehow, she looked even more beautiful with a freshly rested face and messy hair that remained as evidence of their activities the night before.

Struck with a burst of affection for her, he wrapped his arm around her waist and pressed a kiss to her hip. “I slept great,” he answered in a deep sigh, pulling her to himself possessively. To himself, he decided that he would probably sleep great every night if he had the chance to sleep next to her. It was a change he wouldn’t mind getting used to, sharing a bed with the woman he loved. There was just something about her that sapped away all his problems and worries until all he was left with was the peace of her warm presence. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve someone who made him feel this good, but he was thankful she’d chosen him.

“Come back,” he whined, shifting on the bed to pull her back down next to him. When she’d moved, a cool draft had filled the space that her body had left, and he wanted it to go away. “You’re warm, and it’s too early to get up… Let’s just sleep a little longer.”

[sukikyoufu]

Seeing him lay there with bed hair and the tired smile on his face made her feel warm inside, to know that she had a part in him resting well and he looked so relaxed and calm which was amazing considering all the crap they had recently been through together. “I’m glad, you look well rested. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so calm before.” Smiling as she felt him pull her closer enjoying the warm feeling of his body against hers. It honestly felt amazing to wake up next to someone she genuinely cared about, to know that they were able too spend this time together even if it was briefly as she knew deep down this couldn’t become a regular thing.

Truth be told she worried for their future together, it could never be an official thing as she was certain he wouldn’t abdicate the throne. No matter what had happened with his father she felt like he would go back at some point, she couldn’t imagine him giving it up not because of the fame or the riches but because she felt like he would want to make a difference as King. Knowing that only made it difficult for them and right now she felt like they were on borrowed time together, there was nothing she could do about it. A girl like her couldn’t date the King, for one it would be improper, the people would hate her and on top of that his father would never allow it to happen.

Finding herself smile at his whine pulling her back down next to him on the bed she chuckled shaking her head, “We can’t stay in bed all day.” Though as she spoke, she wrapped her arms around him cuddling up to him on the soft bed enjoying the warmth once more. “I don’t want to sleep, not when I can be spending this time with you and making the most of it whilst we can.” Sighing softly as she trailed her hand across his upper body gently, “I’m worried we won’t be able to do this for quite some time. I have this bad feeling and it’s hard to ignore it.” Unable to hide her worries she felt it was best to be honest with him, open up a little because she was scared that after today something was going to go wrong. Either she was going to be imprisoned and killed, or something was going to happen with the rebels that had been quiet lately.

“I know it must seem silly; I’m probably overreacting but… I just. After everything it feels like it’s stacked against us.” Frowning slightly at the thought, knowing that it was never going to be simple for them. Though as she started to think on the negatives her mind couldn’t help but flash back to the death of her father, the aproveset drug and how she had honestly not recovered from that as it was just another thing she had pushed down in hopes that ignoring it meant she’d be okay.

[Rogue Sloth]

“I feel great,” Cas nodded with a soft smile when Iris commented on how well-rested he looked. He didn’t know if he could vouch for being the calmest he’d ever felt, but that morning was certainly somewhere in his top ten, and it was definitely the most at peace he’d been since his mother had passed. All his father, work and classes brought to him was stress and the burden of responsibilities. Before he’d met Iris, he had decompressed by going out to parties with his friends, drinking, dancing and socializing with the other high borns in an effort to escape from reality for a few hours. In contrast, the relaxation he felt when he was with her was more genuine. He wasn’t running away by being with her, but rather had someone else to shoulder everything with him. It was nice. He also loved spending so much time with her and even waking up next to her in the morning instead of finding himself alone.

“Says you,” he mumbled petulantly when she said they couldn’t stay in bed all day. Already, the feeling of her warm body pressed up against his was lulling him back to sleep. He’d been so busy for the last few weeks that he hadn’t realized just how much he’d needed a good night’s rest. Now that he finally had the opportunity to make up for the deficit, he didn’t want to get up. Besides, it wasn’t like there was a reason to rush. No one knew where they were, so they had all the time in the world to enjoy each other’s company. There was nothing that could interrupt them as long as he kept his cell phone shut off, since it was his only line of communication with the outside world. He could deal with his father later.

So, when Iris told him that she had a bad feeling, he sighed, wrapping his arms around her tightly and pressing a kiss to her forehead. He didn’t want her to worry when things were finally going right for them. There was no reason for either of them to be concerned. They’d made it through the night without soldiers banging on their door, so he felt confident that they were perfectly safe in their suite. Granted, there was no telling what their next move would be when they eventually left the Sunset Veil, but that was a problem for another day.

“Just relax,” he told her, stroking her shoulders gently with one hand. As he spoke, he closed his eyes again and nestled his head more comfortably against hers. “We’ll figure it out when we get there, okay? You don’t need to worry because we’re fine right now. I love you, and I’m going to do everything I can so that we can be together. Let’s just enjoy this holiday while we can before we have to think about the future.” He knew this was the calm before the storm, since his father was going to be furious with him if or when he returned, but that didn’t negate the fact that he was enjoying himself. It was hard to be concerned about anything when he had Iris in his embrace. He wanted to pretend like everything was fine, if only for a little while longer.

[sukikyoufu]

Hearing the sigh, she knew she shouldn’t have mentioned it as it did put a slight downer on their moment together, on the wonderful morning they had after a good night’s sleep and enjoyable activities yesterday. Feeling a pang of guilt, she knew she should have just kept her mouth shut and thoughts and feelings to herself because now he would probably think on it like she had been. At least it only would have been one of them fretting over this and she was used to keeping her feelings to herself so she should have done it once more.

Even as she felt the kiss against her forehead and the arms wrapping around her tightly it didn’t offer any sort of comfort for her trouble, but she knew she was overthinking it all once more. Often she couldn’t turn her mind off from it unless she knew it was truly okay, but because there was a sense of danger an inkling towards not knowing the next plan it did set her on edge even if she denied it. There was a chance that this could be the last time she could hold Cas, touch him and enjoy the company because who knew what his father would do. They were being blissfully ignorant to it all, as if hiding from the problem would fix it and she wished it could. Iris wished that staying in the sunset veil together could be a permanent option, but it wasn’t and not knowing what they were going to do next unsettled her more than she liked to admit.

Closing her eyes as he nestled his head against hers, she tried to smile, tried to focus on the fact Cas was being positive to it all. That he’d fight for her so they could see each other and that he loved her, all nice things that she wished she could embrace but the negative was becoming more dominant and prone each day just waiting for the one thing to tip her over the edge. “You’re right, I should relax. I’m sorry.” Whispering out her words softly as she held him close, hand tracing gentle circle across his chest in hopes to soothe her own worries because she didn’t want to keep voicing them. “I love you too.” Smiling as she opened her eyes to look at him, trying so very hard to keep the negative side at bay.

“Let’s talk about something else, like breakfast. I don’t know about you, but I am pretty hungry.” Changing the subject as Iris began to focus on what they could have for breakfast knowing that it was just a buffer for her mind right now. Pretending everything was fine would be what she would do for now, Cas didn’t need to hear about her worries or problems because if she believed everything was fine then it would be even if for a short while. Faking it was easy enough, it scared her how natural it seemed to her and did make her wonder on past experiences but even thinking back on it was hazy as not everything had returned to her just yet. There was still parts missing of her memory which she hoped to get back.

[Rogue Sloth]

Holding Iris close to himself, Caspian could tell that she wasn’t quite as relaxed as he was. He couldn’t say he was surprised though. She always seemed to be tense with worry about something or another. Some of her fears were justified, since they did have some uphill battles ahead of them on their way to being together. However, he suspected that her elevated sense of anxiety was mostly attributed to the trauma she’d been through since the moment she’d ended up in the capital the first time. The combination of amnesia, manipulation by the rebellion, running from and being captured by the same people, and then landing in prison and the hospital in the capital was a lot for anyone to go through. He couldn’t blame her for having lasting stress from the experiences.

Still, he did his best to help her calm down, running his hand gently down and up her back while they laid on the bed. Even if he couldn’t totally alleviate her fears, he wanted her to know that he was there for her. He’d meant it when he’d told her he was planning to do everything in his power to make sure they could stay together. That also meant being a supportive partner while times were still difficult. No matter what happened, he intended to be by her side, shouldering the same burdens and helping her stand on her feet when she felt overwhelmed. Her wellbeing meant just as much to him as the whole kingdom’s, if not more so.

“You don’t have to apologize,” he murmured without opening his eyes, still tired since they hadn’t gotten up yet. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t like to see you upset, but you can be honest with me about how you’re feeling.” Stretching languidly, he forced himself to meet her gaze, so he could offer her another reassuring smile as he brushed off her attempt to change the subject. “I understand why you’re worried. There’s a lot that we still have to deal with. We’re safe right now though, so I just meant that we should try to relax a little while we have the chance.” It was opportunistic, and he knew it, but it was the best they were going to get until he came up with a solution to the issue of his father.

Not giving up on his plan to help her have a good time yet, his smile turned sly, and he leaned up on his arm to hover over her. “You know, I’m pretty hungry too, but not for breakfast…” he whispered suggestively before he pressed his lips to hers in a deep kiss. With his free hand, he caressed her cheek and entangled his legs with hers under the sheets. The way their bodies fit together was imprinted on his memories forever, and as the images resurfaced in his mind, his heart fluttered excitedly.

After a moment—or longer. He always lost track of time when he was with her—Cas pulled back just enough to catch his breath and grinned at her playfully, “I’m never going to get tired of doing this.”

[sukikyoufu]

Even as he held her she still felt tense unable to fully relax and take her mind off of her worries, though she was trying hard to divert her mind knowing she needed too because festering on it was not healthy and she knew she could become obsessive with it. It didn’t help with the fact she often felt guilty for discussing her issues with Cas, she felt bad because he shouldn’t have to shoulder it with her when he had his own problems and no doubt stresses that he was going through as it had been traumatic for him to be captured like he had. That and her own betrayal still weighed heavily on her mind that she had even done that to him. A part of her questioning herself on how she could say she loved him when she had done such a thing to him.

Feeling his hand run gently across her back it did feel soothing, to feel his touch as she tried to compose herself from her troubles not wanting to let it break her because she was strong and she could handle this. The fears would always be there, but then she hadn’t truly accepted what had happened from the moment they had touched back into the Capital. A part of her felt like she should have run after dragging him back, but she knew in her heart she couldn’t have left without knowing he would be okay after getting the treatment he needed.

Even with his confirmation that she needn’t apologise she still guilty for putting it on him, wincing at the idea of being honest with her feelings it was a huge bucket of emotions that she didn’t even want to deal with let alone getting him involved. “I know I can.” Trying to match his reassuring smile though she felt it falter briefly, but overall, he was right. They were safe right now; they could relax a little more together before they even had to think on what they would do next. Though before she could even consider what she would say next she caught the sly smile and then the suggestive whisper which gave her a slither of hope as she could easily latch onto that. Especially when it still excited her, and she melted into the deep kiss in hopes to forget about the time bomb of emotions waiting to just erupt.

It felt so natural with him and she felt the smile brighten on her face as she caught her own breath looking over at Cas hoping that her daze would continue because the nagging feeling was still there in the back of her mind. “I should hope not. Waking up next to you is something I never want to end.” Leaning up as she placed a kiss to his cheek before whispering in his ear cheeks heating up at the suggestive comment she was about to make. “Neither is sleeping with you.” Latching onto this subject was far easier than dealing with her emotions right now, plus she was only following his suggestion to relax a little.

[Rogue Sloth]

The bright smile on Iris’s face was a balm to Caspian. He knew she was still grappling with negative emotions, since it would have been shocking if all it took was one kiss to ease her worries, but at least he was able to drag her out of the pit for a little while. Maybe he was being naïve, but he wanted them both to be happy while they were sharing their suite at the Sunset Veil. They deserved to enjoy a vacation after everything they’d been through. It was long overdue. Even though they weren’t out of the woods yet, there was nothing wrong with taking a break to breathe and relax and gather their bearings until they had to dive back into their troubles again. Hopefully they would be better off for it too—more alert and mentally agile because of the much-needed rest.

“Me either,” he agreed with an affectionate smile when she said she never wanted to stop waking up next to him. By society’s standards, the desires and promises they were sharing with each other were incredibly quick, but they felt right to him. Most high born couples spent months dating each other before they started talking about a long-term future, but he felt like he’d known her for a year already. They had chemistry, and they brought out good qualities in each other when they were together. He admired her kind heart, selflessness and tenacity. Even though they had only been together for about a month, he felt certain that he didn’t want to spend his life with anyone else.

Caught up in his love for her, he laughed softly at the suggestive joke she made back to him, glad that she was feeling good enough to mess around with him. “I can make that happen…” he whispered with a grin, leaning in to kiss her again with passion. Their first time together had been at the base of a steep learning curve, but in the two times that followed, he liked to think he was getting better at doing things that she enjoyed. He was having fun exploring all the different ways their bodies could fit together too, and he thought that he wouldn’t mind giving it a fourth shot that morning when his stomach suddenly interrupted with an audible growl.

“Actually, I might be hungry for real food too,” he admitted with a sheepish smile, breaking the kiss to meet Iris’s gaze. For a fraction of a second, he studied her face, finding her just as beautiful in close proximity as he did when there was more distance between them. He still couldn’t believe he was so lucky that she’d chosen to be with him. At the moment, though, there was a more pressing matter to address. “Do you still want to order breakfast? I can call down to the restaurant to get some fuel for us before we do this again.” As he spoke, he idly trailed his hand down from her side to her hip and then stopped at the back of her thigh in clear indication of what he was referring to.

[sukikyoufu]

Thankful the subject had dropped quite quickly of her struggling emotions she kept the smile in place as he laughed at her suggestive joke and took it further with his own whisper. Feeling the heated kiss of passion, she responded happily, letting this emotion over power any of her worries as their heated moments together always made her forget if only for a little while. Leaning into his kiss she trailed her hand up his side before it settled in the messy locks of his hair tangling them in her fingers as she focused on this moment together not even thinking about her negative thoughts that had plagued her moments ago.

As he pulled back, she couldn’t help but laugh as he admitted he was hungry for real food too, though she wasn’t usually one to eat breakfast it would be best to try and eat something. Thinking on it Iris knew it was to with the districts, breakfast often a meal skipped there as they waited for dinner to try and sate their hungry bellies. Though being in the Capital was a bit of a change, they had plenty of wonderous food at their fingertips and she shouldn’t pass up that opportunity whilst it was there. Glancing over at Cas the sly smile on her face as hand stopped at the back of her thigh she knew what he was referring too, but it would have to wait until after breakfast as that was now the more pressing matter for them.

Sliding her own hand down she captured his in her hand tugging it gently as she sat back up, “Come on then, food it is. I’m sure there is a menu with plenty of fancy choices for your refined tastes.” Making a small joke before letting his hand go and slipping out of the bed to get dressed preferring not to eat breakfast in the nude. Thankfully she had a pair of jeans a T-shirt that she had packed for their little adventure ‘borrowing’ them from Miles’ sister knowing that she was unlikely to get the clothes back. Again, she doubted she had even noticed they were missing, but she was glad she at least had something to wear that wasn’t that hospital gown she had been thrown into after spending some time there.

Brushing out the knots in her tangled bed hair she moved to the stairs to head down to the kitchen where she knew the menu would be, hopeful that there would be something she liked that piqued her interest. Though she knew she shouldn’t just stick to what she knew, Cas had introduced her to something last night she never thought she would have liked before, but she did. “Maybe I’ll be adventurous with my food this morning.” Grinning as she walked into the kitchen reaching for the menu opening it up to have a look, browsing the options she considered on what she would have. There were the usual breakfast staples like porridge, cereal and toast all good options, but she felt like she should try something else.

Eyes sweeping the menu she caught sight of the omelette section which had various different options on what to have with the omelette pondering it for a moment before she tapped the choice with a smile, “I’m going to try something new! I’ll go for this omelette, it’s got salami, roasted tomato, mozzarella and basil. It sounds quite nice.” Smiling up at Cas glad she could focus on breakfast and not the negative emotions that were waiting to pour out of her.

[Rogue Sloth]

“There better be, or I’m paying way too much for this suite,” Cas quipped, smiling at Iris playfully as he felt her lace her fingers with his. He climbed down from the bed after she did and ambled over to the duffle bag he’d brought with him from the royal family’s estate. What his father had arranged for him to pack to take to Eternity Meadows had become a perfect getaway bag with more than enough changes of clothes, toiletries and other essential items to last him for as long as he needed to stay at the Sunset Veil. It was an ironic twist, but it worked out in his favor, since it had allowed him to walk right out of the mansion with a veritable suitcase in hand, and not a single guard had raised an eyebrow.

Digging through the duffle, he found clean underwear, a pair of beige shorts and a dark green shirt with shallow V-neck and put all of them on. He also made a halfhearted effort to straighten out his hair with his fingers, just so he wouldn’t look thoroughly wild before he took a shower later. Once he’d found his way back to a civilized appearance, he headed downstairs with Iris to look over the menu in the kitchen, eager to browse the breakfast selections. Even though he’d had a big dinner the night before, all the ‘exercise’ they had been doing had left him feeling famished after he’d woken up again in the morning.

While Iris opened the menu pamphlet, Cas stepped up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, looking at the pages with her over her shoulder. “There’s not too much risk if you try something new,” he nodded, pressing a kiss to her neck. “Most breakfast foods are made with a lot of the same ingredients. They’re just prepared differently depending on the dish.” As he spoke, he eyed a few different options, all of which included some sort of variation of eggs and meat or pancakes with different kinds of toppings. Already, his mouth watered at the thought of fresh, hot food, and he settled on a menu item that looked especially good to him.

“Can’t go wrong with an omelette,” he agreed. “I think I’ll get the eggs benedict. I’ve got an inexplicable taste for hollandaise sauce this morning that needs to be satisfied.” With their selections fresh in his mind, he let him arms fall from around her and headed over to the phone to call the order in to the restaurant. Once that was done, he sat down heavily on the sofa and gestured for her to come join him. “What do you want to do while we wait for the food to get here?” he asked. “This was so last minute that I didn’t bring a whole lot to do… We’ve mostly just got the TV and each other for entertainment, since it would probably be a bad idea to leave the room. It’s too bad because I saw that this resort has some really cool stuff on their website. Spa treatments, a pool, a billiards room, and things like that.”

[sukikyoufu]

“Honestly I dread to think how much this all costs” Iris couldn’t help but comment back, trying not to dwell on the cost because she knew it would only make her feel awkward. It was still something she struggled with on occasion and she knew it had to do with her own background and not being raised in such a lifestyle, but there was also a part of her that worried he would think she was taking him for granted. Though there was no inkling or even actions that she was, it was just something she worried about, him thinking that she was just using him or gaining some sort of advantage in life after living in such a poor household. That’s what all the rumours would say if anyone caught wind of their entanglement, she often wondered if his friends would think that about her too.

Finding her mind wander off into territory she wasn’t too fond of she nearly jumped when she felt his hands wrap around her from behind, but that was only due to being in a world of her own. Smiling at the gesture she couldn’t help but be pulled from her thoughts when Cas was around her, the open affection and feeling loved by him was something she never wanted to stop. “I’m glad you approve of my adventurous side.” Chuckling softly as she kept the menu open so he could have a look too, already settled on her own dish.

Letting him go choose the order she grabbed a glass of water taking a drink as she contemplated on what hollandaise sauce was, something she would ask of course though a part of her feeling just a little embarrassed about it. Shaking her head, she glanced over realising Cas was done with his order and she grinned following him to join him on the sofa sitting next to him comfortably as she cuddled up to his side. “What’s hollandaise sauce made out of?” Phrasing it in a way that seemed she knew what it was just wanted to know the ingredients, of course it was silly but she often over thought on simple things. A bad habit that had begun to develop of late.

“I’m quite happy here, we can watch some TV together? I’m sure there is some interesting program we can laugh about.” Iris smiled as she sought out his hand with her own grasping it gently, although they couldn’t go experience the amazing things of the resort, she was content with just spending it with him even if it was locked in a room together. It could have been worse after all. “Well you know what, this just sounds like we have to come back when things are normal. So, we can do the cool stuff together. So, we have to come back now I know there is a pool!” Smiling up at him as she leaned up placing a gentle kiss to his cheek. In reality it was unlikely they’d be able to come back and take part in Spa treatments, billiards and even have fun about the pool because she doubted they would ever be in some sort of normal relationship, but it was nice to hope. Think that it could happen, even if it was highly unlikely because of their circumstances.

“That is of course if you aren’t afraid to be beaten by me at billiards.” Iris smirked knowing that she had never played the game before, but making these playful threats was enjoyable even if she had no hope in winning. Perhaps she would be lucky enough to have beginners luck, but again it was harmless fun.

[Rogue Sloth]

When Iris commented on the cost of the suite, Caspian just lifted his shoulders. Knowing how she was with expensive things, he was sure she would faint if he told her the exact number that he was paying for each night they stayed at the Sunset Veil. To him, the bill was nothing though. He had access to a sizable chunk of the Maydestone family’s wealth even though he wasn’t yet the king. Even if they stayed at the resort for a whole month, he could justify the expense because it couldn’t outpace the rate at which their riches grew when the Aspirian economy was flourishing. The royal family was the most well-off group of high borns in the country, so he had no qualms blowing sixty thousand credits to hide out from his father while he decided what to do next.

He doubted they would actually be there for an entire month though. Though it was within reason for him to stay put for that long, he was expecting to be there no more than a week. He just needed to get the point across to Atlas that he was serious about making his own decisions and choose whether he was going to go back to his duties as crown prince or flee the country. Alone in the resort with Iris, with no distractions or contact with the outside world, he had more than enough time to think through both options in seven days. However, there was no reason to start just yet, so he pushed the thought to the back of his mind for now.

He threw an arm around Iris’s shoulders as she sat next to him on the sofa. “Honestly, I have no idea,” he replied to her question. “It’s got egg yolk in it, but other than that, I’m not really sure. I’m not much of a chef, if you hadn’t guessed already, so I don’t know a lot about the ingredients that go in my food.” It was a peculiar thing to ask about, but he didn’t think too much of it. Plus, her question gave him an idea. Ever since they’d gotten back to the capital, they hadn’t had a chance to just… talk to each other. Now that they were pretty much stuck in the Sunset Veil until further notice, it was the perfect opportunity to really check in. He wanted to know how she’d been doing since she’d been arrested, and he missed hanging out with her without being in a rush. Granted, they’d had time to do that yesterday too, but they’d opted to waste the hours doing something more fun instead.

“Yeah, maybe,” he agreed when she suggested coming back when things were less hectic, smiling as she took his hand and kissed his cheek. He wasn’t sure how long it would be before they could even start thinking about doing something like that, but he knew he liked the idea of it. If things went well with his father, then perhaps they could swing another visit to the resort in a few months or a year or so. It was a far out timeline, but it was still better than nothing.

“In your dreams,” he pressed a playful kiss to her temple when she joked about beating him. “I’ve conducted more than one business meetings over billiards, babe. It’s a favorite game of politicians around here. I could win in my sleep.” Clearing his throat, he added more seriously: “But… what do you think about just talking. Instead of watching TV, I mean. We can go through movies anytime, but I feel like we haven’t had a chance to just catch up with each other in a while. I want to know how you’ve been doing after everything that’s happened.”

[sukikyoufu]

“Maybe you should be a chef.” Iris teased gently as he answered her question, happy in the fact they could just tease and joke with one another like they did. “Though I’m not sure you could cook if you tried.” Chuckling as she teased him a little further, her own skills weren’t as great at cooking, but she knew she could at least rummage up something passable to eat. Not like her friend Maisie who could turn scraps into something great, her pies were the best and she was sure if that girl had access to ingredients like the Capital, she could make quite the cook of herself.

“Oh, of course you have.” Iris smirked at his own proclamation when it came to billiards and how he could easily win in his sleep. “Quite the statement, I do hope that when it comes to it you lose just so I can wipe that smirk off of your face. Who knows? I could have beginners’ luck and win.” Puffing out her chest proudly like she even had a chance of winning at that kind of game, it was still just playful fun that was a damn site better than dwelling on whatever negative thoughts that festered away in the back of her mind.

Hearing his tone become a little more serious she looked up at his suggestion of just talking, sure that didn’t seem so bad if talking just meant harmless chit chat like they had been doing. Teasing and winding each other up with the TV on in the background sounded quite nice. They hadn’t really had a chance to just idly talk to one another without anyone else being around them and it did pose a good opportunity to get to know him even more as there still a lot she didn’t know about him and she knew she’d love to learn it. Though at the mention of catching up on how she had been doing after everything had happen did make her falter, the smile fading rather quickly as she scrambled for her words trying to deflect.

“O-Oh, well. I’m fine. You know me.” Offering a hint of a forced smile as she avoided his gaze not wanting to even touch on her own barrage of emotions knowing that was a huge can of worms that did not need to be opened. “It’s been a bit intense lately for the both of us I’m sure, enough about that though. How about you? How are you doing?” Changing the subject onto him rather than herself and what she was going through, plus she would rather help him as she knew he was going through some tough things right now. Cas had run away from home, run from his father who was willing to put him into a mental institute just because he had believed in her saving his life.

“It must be hard with your father, he’s the only family you have left right?” Iris wanted to confirm that was the case, she didn’t know of any other relatives of his as he didn’t mention it. Not that she could remember.

[Rogue Sloth]

“Hey!” Cas gawked at Iris in mock offense. “I could totally be a chef if I wanted to. I’d just have to learn about the ingredients, learn to put it all together and cook it at the right temperature… Okay, yeah, I could never be a chef. I’m getting bored just thinking about it.” He wrinkled his nose. He knew he’d grown up with a silver spoon in his mouth, especially after he’d been outside the capital, but he was used to having other people around to make his meals for him, and that wouldn’t change overnight. Truthfully, if he ever found himself in a situation where he didn’t have access to servants who could cook him dinner, he was willing to learn how to do it, himself. However, he wouldn’t go out of his way to master the skill unless he had to. There were more than enough other responsibilities to keep him busy in his role as the crown prince. Cooking just wasn’t one of them.

When he brought up the idea of talking and her smile faltered, he felt certain that she wasn’t as okay as she was trying to lead him to believe. He watched her a little more carefully, idly trailing his hand down her arm when she attempted to claim that she was fine. Before, he hadn’t paid much attention to her behavior, but now that he’d pretty much called her out, he could see that she was having a hard time holding herself together. Inwardly, he kicked himself for being so oblivious to her discomfort. He should have been more attentive to her needs but instead, he’d gotten caught up in the fact that they were alone in a suite.

Now was as good of a time as ever to make up for that though, so he went along with it when she reversed the conversation onto him. He was still planning to get her to answer his question honestly, but if being the first person to open up would make it easier for her to follow suit, then he was willing to break down that wall. “Yes and no,” he replied, tilting his head slightly as he thought about the best way to explain his family situation to her. “My dad is my only immediate family. I told you that my mom passed a few years ago, and I’m an only child, but I have other relatives. They’re just, um… estranged.”

As he spoke, he settled down more comfortably into the sofa, leaning his head against hers and fixing his gaze on their reflection in the black screen of the TV. “Like I’ve said, my dad’s paranoia isn’t new. He’s always been afraid that everyone else around him is an enemy. That included his own siblings, so… after my mom died, he pretty much kicked all of them out of the house. They still live in the capital, but there’s bad blood between us and them, so I never see the my aunts, uncles or cousins anymore. My dad wrote all of them out of his will too, so legally, none of them can inherit the crown even if something happened to me.” He shook his head. “I still don’t fully understand why he did it. My relatives aren’t bad people, and there are a few of them who would make better kings or queens than I would. But, you know, what’s done is done, and my dad is the only one who can write them back into the will, so it’s up to him to mend the relationships.”

With a sigh, he reached for Iris’s hand and laced his fingers with hers as he braced himself to answer the second half of her question. “As for me… I don’t really know what to say. Things are tense between me and my dad, obviously, and even though I’ve got a psychiatrist who’s supposed to be helping me, I haven’t really had a chance to process everything that happened when we were in Bel Bicis. Instead, I got slapped with a diagnosis of being mentally unstable, which has just made it worse. I wish they would just listen to me for once. My dad especially… He always treats me like I’m still a kid, but I think I’m capable of more than that. At the very least, I’d like him to really take what I have to say to heart instead of just dismissing everything I tell him. It makes me feel like he doesn’t care… like I’m just a tool to him, to be molded into the successor that he wants to take over the monarchy, and that’s it.

“It also doesn’t help that he’s only gotten worse since we got back to the capital. He’s always been tough on me, I get that, but I wish he’d understand that what I just went through was really difficult, and I wanted his support.” He frowned as the pent-up emotions stirred while he spoke. “I didn’t tell you, but when we found all those dead bodies… there were two that have really been haunting me. A mother and her kid… When we found that apartment, I saw a photo on the nightstand in the bedroom. It was the same people, and—” He took a slow breath, startled by how abruptly the pain struck him. When he was thinking about other things, it was easier to forget about the trauma, but dredging up the memories sucked the air from his lungs and made his eyes sting with the threat of tears.

“I don’t know…” he whispered, losing the stamina to explain it any further. “It just made it more real somehow. And then we nearly got crushed when that bomb came, and then the rebels caught us, and I just have no idea what to do with all of it. Honestly, it’s been slowly eating me alive since we got back… I’m tired, I’m angry, I’m stressed, and I’m just really glad I’m here with you rather than at the house with my dad right now.” He pressed another kiss to her forehead, drawing her into his arms to take comfort in her touch. When he pulled back again, he managed a half-smile. “Okay, I just poured my bleeding heart out to you, so now it’s your turn. Tell me how you’re really doing, Iris.”

[sukikyoufu]

Holding in her emotions she watched Cas as she felt like the deflection had worked, briefly relieved that the attention had diverted from her and onto him as she had asked how he was doing and about the rocky relationship with his father. Knowing that alone would be more than enough information to focus on and was a perfect excuse not to go into her own emotions, but that didn’t mean she didn’t care about how he was feeling. In truth she wanted to know, she wanted to help him in any way she could and if she could offer a shoulder, she would within a heartbeat no question about it.

Watching as he began to answer her own question, she smiled softly at the gentle contact feeling his head lean against hers as he began to explain a little about his family. Closing her eyes as he began to talk, she quietly listened letting him open up to her, offering support where she could with a gentle placement of her hand on his leg reassuring him that she was there. Thinking about his father’s paranoia she wondered how it all started, was it a part of the grief he had experienced when Caspians mother passed away? It was interesting to hear about how he had practically kicked out family, but a part of her wasn’t surprised. Not with what she had been hearing and she had yet to see a caring side from the monarch and was beginning to doubt there even was that side to him, though deep down she hoped there was because hearing the hurt from Cas was upsetting.

Frowning as she felt him lace their fingers together, she squeezed his hand, not really knowing what to say just yet because it was a lot to unload. “I can’t even begin to understand it myself, but… I am sure he does care about you… in his own way?” Sighing herself as she knew no matter what she said on the matter wouldn’t b able to fix it. Falling silent as he mentioned Bel Bicis, something she had nearly forgotten about and she couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable at the mention of his psychiatrist who had deemed him mentally unwell because he continued to fight for her. “Maybe that’s his way of showing he cares? It was probably a shock finding you missing.” Reaching up with her other hand she touched his cheek gently caressing the skin trying to offer some form of comfort as she could feel the hurt, the emotion this was stirring inside of him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Iris couldn’t help but whisper at the mention of the dead bodies that haunted him, already knowing it was rich coming from her with her own emotions that she liked to try and hide from him. “It’s okay.” Squeezing his hand again knowing this was not an easy fix, the trauma he had gone through, that they had both experienced. Though she knew the kind of imprint the dead could leave behind, feeling bad that she hadn’t asked him sooner about it because everything had been so fast. “There was nothing you could do for them though; you have to know that, or it will continue to eat you alive.” Trying to offer a smile as she looked up at him holding him in her arms hoping she could offer him some comfort, feeling a little better when she saw his half-smile. “I’ll always help you through it, I’m always happy to listen and try to help you Cas, don’t forget that.”

As Iris began to settle in his arms comfortably, she felt her own face drop, her hold on him loosened as she heard his words. Her turn. Something she didn’t expect to be brought back around and she knew she shouldn’t keep it from him. Not when this was the second time being called out on it. “I-I… I’m fine. I told you this.” Whispering at first as she felt herself fidget in his arms trying to think of a way to wrangle out of it again. Though Cas was right, he had poured out his own emotions to her and she should do the same, she knew deep down she wouldn’t be burdening him with it, but it was difficult. Without even thinking she buried her head into his chest, hands gripped at the material of his clothing as she tried to hold back the tears already knowing she was at tipping point. “I’m… not okay.” It was barley a whisper as she held back a sob that followed, finally admitting to him that she was not as fine as she tried to make out to be.

“I… I don’t even know where to begin. The kidnap, Bel Bicis… the rebels…” Feeling her heart begin to race as she touched upon a few things he had already mentioned, “Then… the Capital. T-That. Drug… his death, my father.” It was all a blubbering mess as she could barely string together a sentence, the tears falling as she couldn’t stop them as everything started to pour out of her that she had been holding back for a long time.

[Rogue Sloth]

“I know he does, it’s just hard to remember that when he doesn’t show it in ways that make me feel like it’s true,” Caspian exhaled when Iris tried to reassure him about his father. He’d tried many times to express to Atlas that he felt unappreciated and unvalued as a son, but the king never seemed to get it. Either his father didn’t understand that his constant critiques and controlling behavior were draining him or he didn’t care. He hoped it was the former, because the latter would be crushing.

When she asked why he didn’t tell her about the corpses he’d seen in Bel Bicis, he just shrugged. He’d kept it to himself for a lot of reasons, the main one being that they had simply been too busy trying to stay alive to discuss any of the things they were experiencing along the way. When he’d seen the bodies, they had been searching for shelter and running away from her father, when they had been in the apartment, they’d barely had half an hour to relax before the bombs had dropped, and they’d had to run to escape. When they had moved on from there, they had been exhausted and needed to find a new place to take refuge before the rebels caught them. After that, they had actually been captured, and he’d nearly been killed by Ethan. Even if he’d wanted to tell her about his ghosts, there had never been a good time to do it.

“I know I can’t change what happened to them,” he agreed with a faint nod, bringing his free hand up to rub his eyes. “It’s less about that and more about… well… let me put it this way. It was one thing to see a bunch of corpses on the ground and be able to detach emotionally. I didn’t know any of those people personally, who they were, what they were like, what they did for a living. None of it. I just saw dead bodies of total strangers that made me uncomfortable and a little horrified, but it was different with those two because I got a glimpse into their lives. When I saw the photo, it made me realize they were real people who had been happy and totally innocent before they were… killed.”

He swallowed hard and took a slow breath to keep his emotions in check. “I mean, for God’s sake, we were in their apartment. We saw where they lived, what they ate for lunch, how they liked to decorate. It was just a lot to take in, and that’s what really got me… It hurts to know that the smiling faces in that picture belong to the corpses in the plaza.” It also hurt to think about it again, so he fell quiet, focusing on fighting off the urge to let go of the tears that threatened to spill over. He was far from okay and, being a more emotional person, probably would have bawled his eyes out if he’d been alone. However, he had opened up to Iris to convince her to do the same with him. Right now, he had to be the strong one, so she could feel comfortable breaking down without feeling like she was overwhelming him. He could let go another time.

And it turned out that his idea had worked because after one last halfhearted attempt to convince him that she was fine, Iris dissolved into tears. Caspian held her close and closed his eyes as she cried into his chest. It was painful to hear her so upset, but he was glad that she had finally trusted him enough to let down her walls. He didn’t have any words to comfort her either, so he just sat quietly while the sobs wracked her, gently rubbing his hand up and down her back. They had both been to hell and back in their own ways, it seemed. Listening to her cry just reaffirmed his desire to make sure that she never went through that kind of pain again. He loved her and wanted her to be happy, not breaking down in his arms.

Awkwardly, that was the moment their breakfast arrived too. He opened his eyes and glanced at the door when he heard the knock on the other side. After waiting for another few seconds for the person outside to leave, he turned back to Iris, “Sorry, I need to grab that really quick.” Disentangling himself from her, he jogged over to the door and brought their food cart inside, wheeling it over to the coffee table to set down their trays. However, before he uncovered either of the dishes from their silver domes, he sat back down on the sofa and wrapped her up in a tight embrace.

“We’re a right mess, aren’t we?” he smiled at her sadly and pressed a kiss to her cheek. “You can tell me about what’s going on when you feel ready, okay? Do you want to take a few minutes to think about it and eat first? So you’re calm enough to talk.”

[sukikyoufu]

At the end of the day Cas was right, what happened in Bel Bicis couldn’t be changed no matter how hard they wished it to not be true. Those people had still died, the district ravaged by the bomb rendering most if not all of the town useless. Covered in dust and rubble from the buildings that were destroyed and scattered corpses and bones no doubt littering what once used to be the streets of that district. It made her feel sick thinking on it, the needless death because of the war, or more likely because she had kidnapped the Prince in the first place. Somehow that thought still weighed on the back of her mind, even though they were happily spending time with one another and progressing their budding relationship she still felt that guilt of what was the biggest mistake she had ever made in her life.

Even as she sobbed into his chest, she could still feel why he would be upset, they had stayed in the apartment of the bodies he had seen. A snapshot of what everyday life would have been like for them as they used their home to seek shelter from the rebels. A part of her already started to scold herself because he was going through a lot as much as she was, she wanted to support him through it like he was doing with her, but even as she thought that her sobs continued as she felt his hand rub up and down her back soothingly.

It was typical that at the moment she had caved and started to open up to him the food arrived, the knock on the door pulling her out of her sobs as she glanced up nodding to Cas knowing he had to get that. Trying to halt her tears she gripped her arm with her hand finding the pressure to help her focus, wiping the tears from her eyes she knew she had to sort herself out. There was no way she could spend the morning crying over things that were now in the past, no matter how much it hurt or upset her she couldn’t dwell on it. “Hah… yeah...” Sighing softly in agreement trailing off as she glanced at the domes now on the coffee table, a part of her not feeling all too hungry anymore but she knew that was just due to the surge of emotions she had gone through.

“I’ll try to eat a little. M-Maybe it will help.” As much as she had been hungry that feeling had gone the minute, she let her emotions overcome her. Thankful she could at least start to string some sentences together and wasn’t some blubbering mess in his arms unable to cope with the events that had just gone. Not wanting to think on it further she moved from the sofa to grab her own plate of food wondering on if she would continue to talk after eating, she could still feel herself tremble slightly after releasing the tears and she knew she needed to discuss it more than she just had, but it was hard. The idea that he would see her so vulnerable, as someone who he couldn’t lean on for support was something she thought of, but most importantly the trust was something she was getting used too especially as something told her she had never really opened up like this before to anyone. Maybe she had with Maisie, but she couldn’t be sure, not with her memories still playing havoc.

Opening up the dome she was greeted with the scent of freshly made food, it not only smelled delicious, but it looked it too. Finding herself smile slightly at the sight she looked down at the breakfast happy for a distraction, though already she felt sick at the idea of eating it which was a shame because it looked like top quality food. Placing the dome back over her food with a sigh she shook her head, “I’m sorry Cas, I might have to wait to eat a little. I’m not… well... I’ve never really talked before.” Grimacing she placed it back on the coffee table as she began to fiddle with her fingers, clearly uncomfortable. “It’s difficult, I still have nightmares about… well. Everything, but mainly about him. I was shown pictures of his… eh…” Shaking her head it was hard to come out with it, that she had been shown pictures of her dead father right before she was tortured with that drug.

[Rogue Sloth]

Caspian nodded when Iris said she would try to eat. Comfort food was a real thing and could be a balm to stress and raw emotions when one was overwhelmed. He had a few go-to’s that he enjoyed, such as minestrone soup and chocolate cheesecake, but even if those weren’t available, there was still something therapeutic about crying into a tin of ice cream. He hoped that if she was able to get some food into her stomach, she would feel at least a little better, even if it was just a metaphorical Band-Aid for the deeper problems. Although he wanted her to open up to him, he wasn’t going to force her into it if she wasn’t ready.

He put a bit of space between them on the sofa and reached for his own dish, lifting the dome that covered the eggs benedict that he’d ordered. The aroma of seasoned, poached eggs, Canadian bacon and English muffins topped with a smothering of hollandaise sauce wafted to him as soon as the covering was removed, and his mouth watered reflexively. He set the plate in his lap and picked up the utensils that came with it to cut into the food. However, as he did, he noticed that Iris seemed to lose momentum and put her breakfast back on the table. Apparently she wasn’t as eager to eat as he was. He was too surprised. Whenever she was anxious, he’d become aware that she tended to skip meals.

“Don’t apologize. I’m not going to make you eat,” he casted her a smile in the hopes of making her feel a little better. While she had no appetite, he still decided to get started on his breakfast in the meantime. If their roles had been reversed, he would have been uncomfortable if she had put off eating for his sake, so he brought a bite of food to his mouth and chewed slowly as the savory flavors flooded his tongue. The eggs benedict was delicious. It was both warm and seasoned to perfection, and he wasted no time cutting into a second piece.

As Iris struggled to find a way to open up to him, Cas was patient. He didn’t push her to talk as he ate his breakfast, instead letting her take her time to navigate the uncharted territory at her own pace. He was shocked that she thought she’d never opened up to anyone else before though. Hopefully it was just the amnesia blocking the memories. If she had really gone for over two decades of her life without talking to anyone about what was bothering her, then she probably needed a therapist far more than he did. Gently, he reached out to rest a hand on her leg, offering her a sympathetic look, “You can trust me, Iris. I love you, and I want to hear you talk.”

The last thing she said caused him to take on a quizzical expression. It was too vague for him to understand what she was trying to say. Was the ‘him’ that she mentioned Ethan or Regis or someone else that he didn’t know? And what picture was she talking about? He squeezed her thigh comfortingly, deciding to press her for more information softly, “What are the nightmares about?”

[sukikyoufu]

Watching him eat she was glad he wasn’t put off by his food, not like she was when they started to talk about the more emotional side of things. Though she wondered if the reason she didn’t comfort eat was because there had been no options to comfort eat in the districts, they hadn’t had access to the usual comfort foods you would see in the movies like girls crying over ice cream from a break up. That may be something she would have to try in the future, but hers wasn’t set in stone and she wasn’t about to start indulging in these foods that she knew she would miss if she had to return to the districts which was looking more than likely.

“I’ll try it in a little, I promise.” Trying to force a smile as she didn’t want him to worry, she would try to eat it a little bit later as she knew it would be best but right now she felt far too vulnerable and full of emotion to worry about food. Feeling like she had taken the first step in trying to open up she wanted to try it, tell him about her feelings because she knew he would understand it somewhat especially having gone through a lot of it together. It was about time she finally learnt how to talk about these things and not bottle it up until it brought her to a point like this.

Chewing the inside of her cheek she could feel her heart hammering away, she knew she could trust him and that wasn’t the problem. It was finding the words to express how she felt, and she could still feel the back log of tears waiting to pour out. “I… well. The nightmares, I mean well you know It’s not the first time I’ve suffered from them even before all the latest events. It’s a reason why I didn’t sleep properly at Miles because I didn’t want him to see them.”

Reaching out she shakily placed her hand over his that he had rested on her leg for support, “The latest of them all focus around my father…” Grimacing she hadn’t come to terms with how she felt over the fact he was now dead, the image of his body in the photo was what had started to haunt her and a part of her nightmares. “The first time they questioned me was… difficult. Though I appeared numb to it and didn’t respond it hurt me… he… Matthew I think that was his name? He told me my father was dead. That he had been killed in hopes for a rise from me and well… that didn’t happen.”

Trying to blink back her tears she felt herself shudder, “That was when he showed me… h-he showed me a picture of him… d-dead.” Letting out a rather shaky breath she couldn’t help but shake her head, “By firing squad.” Her voice quiet at the last part, but it didn’t take a genius to understand that it had meant they had shown her the imagine of her father’s corpse. “I don’t know how I didn’t break down just there, but after that I was dragged back to a room of some sort until later that day when well. You know about the second time when they questioned me. I don’t know how you found out, I didn’t want you too because I knew you were still recovering and trying to get back to some sort of normality with your own family. I asked Jacob not to tell you.” She knew how dejected her voice sounded, it sounded like she was broken already, and it was just the start of everything.